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IRS Audit
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Chucky
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IRS Audit
This is a variation on an older joke:
The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his attorney.
The auditor says, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'
I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Ralph. 'How about a demonstration?'
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'
Ralph says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.' The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'
Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
Ralph says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'
Now the auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
'Want to go double or nothing?' Ralph asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.
T he auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.
But Ralph's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.
'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Ralph told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it.'
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| 04-04-2008 06:50 AM |
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jenrell23
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RE: IRS Audit
LOL!!! That was a good one!!
Jen
Burning up in the warm Arizona desert with my tortoises and turtles
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| 04-04-2008 08:41 AM |
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Crazy1
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RE: IRS Audit
Funny !
Robyn
Torts are my calming factor! Then we had eggs!
All Greeks, adults (Echo, Ajax, Rusty ), + Comet Still a hatchling & three new Greek hatchlings as of 3-24-08 (Dotsy, LB and DB) + 2 new eggs on 4-20-08, 2 dogs, Fostering 2 DT
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| 04-04-2008 09:01 AM |
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ZippyButter
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RE: IRS Audit
RE: IRS Audit
This is really funny! thanks Chucky. Do you mind if I share this with my friends?
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| 04-15-2008 08:14 PM |
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wayne.bob
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RE: IRS Audit
2 Russians
1 RES
1 giant Hong Kong newt
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| 04-16-2008 06:29 PM |
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Chucky
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RE: IRS Audit
RE: IRS Audit
This is really funny! thanks Chucky. Do you mind if I share this with my friends?
Go ahead, it was emailed to me so I guess it's fine to pass around
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| 04-17-2008 10:19 AM |
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josh
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RE: IRS Audit
2 Desert Tortoise hatchlings
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| 04-17-2008 04:17 PM |
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