# Missing my best friend.



## LoutheRussian (Mar 28, 2014)

I'm sorry if this post shouldn't be here if the mods feel I've overstepped delete the thread and I will accept whatever consequences should arise. There's so much negative surrounding my life right now ranging from severe family issues to my personal and love life right on down to my silent struggle with depression. I have struggled for so long trying to find something that gives me reason to smile and give my best too. Fortunately Lou fell into my shut in lifestyle and he instantly became my best and possibly only friend here. To my dismay I've been away for a few days breaking things off in my love life as well as spending time in the hospital with my step dad. I made it home and back to my little Lou yesterday afternoon only to have to leave again for the weekend. I only got to spend. Few moments with him yesterday and even though I know he only bee lined for me because of my magic food producing powers it made me feel good. Like no matter what **** I'm going through I've made Lou's life better and he seems to appreciate it. I now have to make I through till Sunday to see my buddy again and it seems so far away. Watching the movies I shot of him and looking through the pictures just doesn't cut it lol. Soon we will be together again lol anyways i apologize for this ridiculous and most likely unwanted post but with type day I've been having I needed to get it out. Thank you for tolerating my being a sissy la la.
Here's a couple shots of my pal Lou








[TURTLE]LoutheRussian


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## T33's Torts (Mar 28, 2014)

Don't worry, this is why we have this part of the forum.  I hope things clear up rather rapidly for you. My best friends were, and will be tortoises. People dont cut it for me.


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## dmmj (Mar 28, 2014)

off topic can be used for venting, so no worries


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## Whitneyrae (Mar 28, 2014)

Lou sounds like a very lucky little guy!


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## Dorrie Siu (Mar 28, 2014)

I can totally relate to your connection to Lou. He doesn't judge you, he doesn't yell at you and he doesn't expect anything of you other than food. Yet he NEEDS you. And you can give to him what he needs to stay alive because you are his everything. You are serving him a purpose just as much as he is serving you. 

And there's nothing wrong with that.

To be honest, when I had a really rough day at work, what got me through was thinking of how nice it would be to come home to Dorrie. She's so mellow...

~~~~~~~~~~

You'll get to see Lou soon. He'll be waiting for you.


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## LoutheRussian (Mar 28, 2014)

Whitneyrae said:


> Lou sounds like a very lucky little guy!



Think we are both lucky to have found one another. 


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian




Dorrie Siu said:


> I can totally relate to your connection to Lou. He doesn't judge you, he doesn't yell at you and he doesn't expect anything of you other than food. Yet he NEEDS you. And you can give to him what he needs to stay alive because you are his everything. You are serving him a purpose just as much as he is serving you.
> 
> And there's nothing wrong with that.
> 
> ...



Sunday afternoon I'm gonna give him his favorite treat. I'll spoil him and give him a half slice of cucumber and then we will watch a movie before I put him to bed 


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian


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## wellington (Mar 28, 2014)

Sorry your having a ruff time of things now. We are always here to listen and offer kind words and caring. This is a great tortoise family on here, with members that really do care. Hang in there, the time will go by faster if you try to not think about it. Then you can see your bud and share in his excitement of his fave treat.


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## LoutheRussian (Mar 28, 2014)

wellington said:


> Sorry your having a ruff time of things now. We are always here to listen and offer kind words and caring. This is a great tortoise family on here, with members that really do care. Hang in there, the time will go by faster if you try to not think about it. Then you can see your bud and share in his excitement of his fave treat.



Thank you. It's hard for me to believe sometimes that there are people who care. Most of the time I find it to be the exact opposite. Seems my biggest character flaws are my being a nice guy and wanting to trust other people. This combo always leads to me being used in one way or another. Which is why I seem to be spending less time with people and more time
With Lou the only thing Lou has ver done to me was pee all over my arm and shirt. Which was my fault. I had just sampled him and he had been running around, I knew he washing to have to go sooner than later lol



[TURTLE]LoutheRussian


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## T33's Torts (Mar 28, 2014)

I've learned to not trust people. People aren't worthy of trust. Dogs are. Tortoises are. Not people. I never made friends as a little kid, and still don't much. 
My mom was a teacher for a while, and her fellow teacher became her best friend. 
They ended up having kids 17 hours apart. That boy ended up being one of my only two friends. Molly moved to Europe when we were 6. I was practically forced to socialize with human beans. But look at me now! I'm not THAT anti social now!


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## wellington (Mar 29, 2014)

I'm not a big fan of humans either. But, when you do find the good ones, it is worth it and they are truly good. You just need to make them earn your trust, not just give it away. Animal people are usually among the good ones. We usually don't care for humans as much as animals, probably have the "been hurt by humans" bond and can relate to each other more. 
You will find though, caring people here. I know I have. A few that I consider friends, even though we are miles apart, but with hope I will be able to some day meet them. I have met one so far, got a few more to go


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## KimC90 (Mar 29, 2014)

I completely understand your bond and love for Lou. I'm an introvert and have social anxiety. I'm in my early 20s and have almost no family left. When I got Dwight last year started living for him. I made sure to be up every morning at the same time to get him his greens no matter what I was going on in my life or how I felt. Spending time with him was simply relaxing. In less then a year I've added 8 other herps to my reptile family. Theyre something about them that can take you away from the world and just be happy. I take pride in each of them and that this is their forever home. 
I'm glad that you and Lou found each other. Maybe we are just magical food servants to these little guys but that doesn't change that they are great and faithful companions.


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## AZtortMom (Mar 29, 2014)

I very sorry for what you are going through Luke. ((HUGS)) I'm not as articulate as many as the people on the forum, but I can relate to much of the stuff you are going through, especially the depression and not trusting people. I too love my torts very much and have gotten comfort on this forum from the people here. I may not post much wisdom but I'm glad you are here


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## Yvonne G (Mar 29, 2014)

I live in a cave, and don't need contact with the outside world or people to make me happy. But I DO need my contact with the folks here on the Forum. Stick with us and your mood will improve drastically.


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## LoutheRussian (Mar 29, 2014)

The only people I interact with that show me any modicum of respect are the people on here. I don't even want to go outside anymore. I can't thank you all enough for the wisdom you share so I can better Lou's life and the encouragement you give me for wanting to help our little pals. I'm sorry that I come on here and bring the vibes down when you all seem
To have such good and upbeat conversations. I know that everyday can be a struggle and our situations are what we make them but sometimes the world just bests is down until we have no fight left. I'm doing my best to keep my head up but theirs nothing to look at when I do. At least I see my feet when my head is hung. Again I'm sorry I can't find better or happier words. Maybe I need to step away. Thank you everyone this forum is an amazing find you all do so much for the tortoise an it's caregiver. Have a great day.


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian


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## Dorrie Siu (Mar 29, 2014)

Gosh a lot of the other posts here seem to pertain to most of us as well. YOU ARE NOT ALONE AS YOU THINK YOU ARE!! I guess that's why we are all drawn here.. Well and for the tortoises too LOL


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## T33's Torts (Mar 29, 2014)

Don't worry about bringing down vibes. Its what we're here for. And we bounce back fast anyways.


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## AZtortMom (Mar 29, 2014)

Hey Luke, don't worry about it  we can handle it  we are here to help each other out. Don't step away


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## LoutheRussian (Mar 29, 2014)

tffnytorts said:


> Don't worry about bringing down vibes. Its what we're here for. And we bounce back fast anyways.



Thank you I tried to keep busy today so I wouldn't dwell on things but I couldn't keep from missing Lou. Fortunately I'll be home tomorrow around noon so I'll have all afternoon to hang out with him. A nice soak and a slice of cucumber should forgive my absence. As long as I keep the food coming and a nice warm spot for him to sleep he's pretty forgiving 


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian


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## wellington (Mar 29, 2014)

Darn, I was hoping the time was flying by for you. Well, almost over. See, it wasn't really that bad right? Well, I hope it wasn't


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## T33's Torts (Mar 29, 2014)

I was away from home for almost a week, and by the second day I was calling whenever I got the chance, asking about my buddies. My human companion asked me, "Am I not enough company for you dear?" And I almost said NOPE.


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## LoutheRussian (Mar 29, 2014)

wellington said:


> Darn, I was hoping the time was flying by for you. Well, almost over. See, it wasn't really that bad right? Well, I hope it wasn't



Time never flies when I don't sleep in my own bed lol


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian




tffnytorts said:


> I was away from home for almost a week, and by the second day I was calling whenever I got the chance, asking about my buddies. My human companion asked me, "Am I not enough company for you dear?" And I almost said NOPE.



Humans just don't do it for me. They only Cause more problems. Netflix and Lou are all I've come to need.
And maybe a bowl of ice cream from time to time


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian


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## T33's Torts (Mar 29, 2014)

Popcorn!


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## AZtortMom (Mar 29, 2014)

LoutheRussian said:


> wellington said:
> 
> 
> > Darn, I was hoping the time was flying by for you. Well, almost over. See, it wasn't really that bad right? Well, I hope it wasn't
> ...





Chocolate ice cream?


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## lynnedit (Mar 29, 2014)

There is nothing sissy about your post! It is very brave.

Lou's gonna live a long time. Before you know it, you will be giving him a treat tomorrow!


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## LoutheRussian (Mar 30, 2014)

AZtortMom said:


> LoutheRussian said:
> 
> 
> > wellington said:
> ...





I prefer vanilla with either fresh berries or chocolate syrup. But I'll eat it plain as well


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian




lynnedit said:


> There is nothing sissy about your post! It is very brave.
> 
> Lou's gonna live a long time. Before you know it, you will be giving him a treat tomorrow!



Thank you I am counting down he hours until I am home again


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian


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## LoutheRussian (Mar 30, 2014)

IM ALMOST HOME!!! I can hear Lou anticipating my arrival. 


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian


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## LoutheRussian (Mar 30, 2014)

Reunited and it feels so good!


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian


Except my ex is here.... 


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian


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## T33's Torts (Mar 30, 2014)

*Re: RE: Missing my best friend.*



LoutheRussian said:


> Except my ex is here....
> 
> 
> [TURTLE]LoutheRussian



"Hi! Bye." 
*lightly gestures towards the exit*


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## LoutheRussian (Mar 30, 2014)

tffnytorts said:


> LoutheRussian said:
> 
> 
> > Except my ex is here....
> ...



Hahaha after a few minutes playing with her son that's pretty much what I did. Dropped the "you gotta go I'm expecting someone" phrase


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian


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## T33's Torts (Mar 30, 2014)

Good for you! I'm a sucker for the kids. Makes you wonder how they'll turn out. My neighbor at the last house had a girlfriend for a while, and I swear she had some sort of mental disorder. She would SCREAM at her daughter (6?) and eventually my neighbor would end up calling 911. Twice the cops came, and she was all sweet and innocent.


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## LoutheRussian (Mar 30, 2014)

My heart hurts for him. It's not that she is a bad mom but her parents weren't exactly exemplary ones so it has carried over. Plus she was too young when she had him and still wants to party. I'm not a party person I hate the bar and would rather spend my evenings at home with the ones it love. I do what I can for him but I not his father. It's hard because I still love his mother she made me feel something I have never felt before. I've silently struggled with depression for 15 years and when her and I were together I experienced true happiness. It's going to be hard but I have to do what is best for me and right now her and I don't get along very well. 


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian


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## T33's Torts (Mar 30, 2014)

If there's enough in the bond you have with her son, then maybe you can work something out. Maybe you could pick him up from school on one or two Fridays a month, and he could spend the night with you (and also letting her go out and do whatever she wants). Then on Saturday, you could meet her for lunch, or dinner, and he can leave with her. Just to get you two (ex and yourself) to a point of mutual friendship. Hopefully seeing her son happy would spark something in her, knowing that you make her son happy.


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## LoutheRussian (Mar 30, 2014)

Good idea. I'm going to tread lightly and just do what I can. Thank you for your constant support


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian


So glad to be home with lou


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian


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## LoutheRussian (Apr 1, 2014)

I really new to get my key back from my ex. Stumbling in at 2 in the morning drunk as all get out is far from ok cuz all she wants to do is pick a fight which I refuse to engage her in. Which then me makes me the a hole and a pos. I really cannot stand drunk people which is probably why I avoid the bar. I think I'm the only 27 year old male that avoids the bar like the plague


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian


End rant... For now


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian


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## T33's Torts (Apr 1, 2014)

Just put a chain lock on the inside of your door. 

I could never tell if I hate angry, or loud, giggly drunks more. I tend to get quite, and sit on with my phone and call people.. :angel:


And where's her son, during all this?


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## LoutheRussian (Apr 1, 2014)

I have a chain lock I just never use it apparently I need to start. Grandma and grandpa were watching h last night. She had him all day but he wanted to stay over there so he could go in the hot tub 


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian


It doesn't matter what kind of drunk they are they bother me. I rarely get drunk most of the time I just order water


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian


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## tortnmutt (Apr 1, 2014)

tffnytorts said:


> LoutheRussian said:
> 
> 
> > Except my ex is here....
> ...




Ruh-roh... is she local?


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## LoutheRussian (Apr 1, 2014)

Yes and no. She lived here until about a year ago but now she comes to town for several days then goes and works then comes back. I don't know why she comes here she always seems angry with me when I have no idea why. Last time she was really drunk she told me I was an a hole and a pos and that she didn't need or want me anymore because she could find someone else. Then she passed out on the floor after cussing me out for trying to get her to the bed or the couch. So being the nice guy I am I picked up her purse which had dumped all over the floor and put a pillow under her head and a blanket over her. 


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian


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## ascott (Apr 1, 2014)

> Yes and no. She lived here until about a year ago but now she comes to town for several days then goes and works then comes back. _I don't know why she comes here she always seems angry with me when I have no idea why. Last time she was really drunk she told me I was an a hole_ and a pos and that she didn't need or want me anymore because she could find someone else. _Then she passed out on the floor after cussing me_ out for trying to get her to the bed or the couch. So being the nice guy I am I picked up her purse which had dumped all over the floor and put a pillow under her head and a blanket over her.



I usually try not to come in on personal posts like this, however, please try to believe "you matter". You were not put on this earth to be a door mat, they sell those in the store. You were not put on this earth to be a whipping board, those lay around for the taking all over the place. You matter my friend. 

The reason this person gets drunk, comes to your home, cusses at you, calls you names and then shuts down is, well, because you accept it. Hell, we all have had times in our life that we feel unworthy for some dumb *** reason, we feel that all we can and should accept is crap....well, when you are done laying down for the trespassers, when you are done being picked up from the ground for a whipping board.....you will suddenly see this person exactly for what they are---a person at a different time and place in their life than what you are---and a child will come through this all, the child is only observing what the Mother does to you---remember, a child takes in all they are around....you may not be doing that child a true favor (even though you are attached in a heartfelt way)....and please don't mistake what I am saying....

We all walk through life at a different pace, we all experience the same event in a different way, we all move at our own pace, there will be a time when we run into others on their journey and they are in a like place, this is when you are truly blessed with another who can enjoy you as you them....but remember, not all good things last forever, life is an ever changing thing---enjoy each step for exactly what you learn. You can not drag another ahead through their life journey---it will only drag you back, and likely to a place you already learned from---keep moving man.....

And don't think the whole world is some freak filled dome of happy people 24/7--that simply is not the case, I think we have been convinced in some crazy way that unless you are happy all of the day and the night then you are depressed, hell, if we were giddy happy all of the damn time we would be exhausted.....lol, enjoy the day, live the moment and keep moving through your journey.

"When passing through a field of flowers, I stop and look, I stop and smell, I feel the wind of the bees on their journey, I want to keep the good feeling, I pick some of the flowers, convinced I can keep the beauty with me always....I return to my journey and learn quickly that picked flowers turn to death and fall apart...I am not in control of the beauty around me, but am blessed to be able to stop, smell and enjoy the flowers on my journey"
--unknown author

You matter.


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## tortnmutt (Apr 1, 2014)

LoutheRussian said:


> I really new to get my key back from my ex. Stumbling in at 2 in the morning drunk as all get out is far from ok cuz all she wants to do is pick a fight which I refuse to engage her in. Which then me makes me the a hole and a pos. I really cannot stand drunk people which is probably why I avoid the bar. I think I'm the only 27 year old male that avoids the bar like the plague
> 
> 
> [TURTLE]LoutheRussian
> ...





haha you're definitely not the only 27 year old that avoids bars. I hate them. Can't stand obnoxious drunk people. Funny drunk people are a different story though. 

Your ex sounds like a gem. She comes over because she knows you'll be there for her even when she's a *****. Lay it out on the line for her and let her know you're done. If she says she can find someone else then let her. We all want to know we are appreciated and loved and needed, we've all been used as a doormat because we need to know we're needed. I learned that long ago. Maybe that's why I went into teaching? I have 27 little turds that need me.


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## LoutheRussian (Apr 1, 2014)

ascott said:


> > Yes and no. She lived here until about a year ago but now she comes to town for several days then goes and works then comes back. _I don't know why she comes here she always seems angry with me when I have no idea why. Last time she was really drunk she told me I was an a hole_ and a pos and that she didn't need or want me anymore because she could find someone else. _Then she passed out on the floor after cussing me_ out for trying to get her to the bed or the couch. So being the nice guy I am I picked up her purse which had dumped all over the floor and put a pillow under her head and a blanket over her.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Thank you for your kind words. I really don't know how to respond every time I type something in reply it makes me soud even more pathetic than I already do. I wish I could say that this is the only time it's been this way but nearly everyone I cared for eventually used me and treats me this way. I make myself an easy target. I can see what they are doing to me an I can see through the lies. I guess I'm just to nice and to trusting as do non confrontational to do anything about it anymore. It's to the point that I've accepted that this is my role in life. .
Thank you for your kind work


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian


I can only imagine what people are thinking hen they read this. I'm just thankful that a few good people have been encouraging and not beat me down even more. The people I've come across in this forum are unlike any other. You are all such wonderful and kindhearted people. Since I've taken such an interest in Lou and everything I read on here I talk about it all he time which has just given everyone (family included) another reason to laugh. 


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian


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## Arnold_rules (Apr 1, 2014)

LoutheRussian said:


> Thank you for your kind words. I really don't know how to respond every time I type something in reply it makes me soud even more pathetic than I already do. I wish I could say that this is the only time it's been this way but nearly everyone I cared for eventually used me and treats me this way. I make myself an easy target. I can see what they are doing to me an I can see through the lies. I guess I'm just to nice and to trusting as do non confrontational to do anything about it anymore. It's to the point that I've accepted that this is my role in life. .
> Thank you for your kind work
> 
> 
> ...





Does it really matter what other people think? You will always run into people that will let you down and think you don't make sense. Revel in that you are unique. It doesn't matter how many times you fall down, it matters how many times you get up. I watched my CDT bail off the top of his house onto the ground, did not hurt himself, for about one hour. He fell each time but kept it up trying to fly 

I don't really care for the company of adults, untrustworthy lot (people on forum excluded). I prefer to work with and be around young kids because they understand it doesn't matter, have fun in life, no one gets out alive. Laugh at yourself and understand you are the only one that you need to please. May be your family is laughing with you and not at you....if not, eh, life goes on you can always talk with your friends here.

Now, watch out for Lou, he is eyeing your popcorn.


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## T33's Torts (Apr 1, 2014)

Tortoises purify people.


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## LoutheRussian (Apr 1, 2014)

Arnold_rules said:


> LoutheRussian said:
> 
> 
> > Thank you for your kind words. I really don't know how to respond every time I type something in reply it makes me soud even more pathetic than I already do. I wish I could say that this is the only time it's been this way but nearly everyone I cared for eventually used me and treats me this way. I make myself an easy target. I can see what they are doing to me an I can see through the lies. I guess I'm just to nice and to trusting as do non confrontational to do anything about it anymore. It's to the point that I've accepted that this is my role in life. .
> ...





What you are saying is very true. I do continue to get up when I fall I have made plenty of decisions that required me to try over and over again. had most of the Time I really could care less what others think of me however my family and those I care deeply for do matter. I'm too trusting and too nice.. I don't like confrontation so I avoid it to the point where I'm walked on and used. Everyone knows me as a good guy and appear to be happy and whatnot bu behind that mask is someone very different. 


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian




tffnytorts said:


> Tortoises purify people.



I know he has done a lot for me. 


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian


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## Gillian M (Apr 6, 2015)

T33's Torts said:


> Don't worry, this is why we have this part of the forum.  I hope things clear up rather rapidly for you. My best friends were, and will be tortoises. People dont cut it for me.


Pets/animals are sometimes more loyal than human beings. I have reached this point after:

- I moved to a country where I have been able to make friends with very few people
- I got my adorable Greek tort, four years ago. Although I had never dealt with animals, never had a pet before, I have fallen deeply in love with my tort.


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## smarch (Apr 9, 2015)

This thread I from before I became a regular on here. I just thought I'd add in that I got my Franklin because of depression, he's the reason I wake up in the morning reason I deal with tough days, in inadequate when it comes to being social with humans, I'm friendly but don't really have the skills to not be awkward and people take it as me being rude, but with Franklin (and any pets) it's like an instant connection. Franklin touched me most because of the lifespan of tortoises and the fact that he is small and can stay contained. I always et happy when I am reminded I'm not alone.


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## BeeBee*BeeLeaves (Apr 9, 2015)

Aren't tortoises wonderful?
They remind us to stay grounded and to be patient ...
Just like a tortoise walking in a big ole humongous lonely desert, remember, this too, shall pass.


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