# What keeps you sane



## bikerchicspain (May 12, 2011)

As someone that had a mental breakdown just over a year ago and ended up in a physiatric unit, I know that there is something that makes us tick and stay in the real world,

When I was taken in, what kept me going was my torts, I also did the tortoise trust course which I learnt from and enjoyed doing, I also did drawings (under supervision) for the other patients.

I was in all over Christmas and new year of 2009/2010,

Now the thing that keeps me going are my torts,my horse and my knowledge of reptiles, husbandry, disease, health, treatments.I wish I could say it's my kids but as yet I cannot, don't get me wrong I love them to bits but they were part of my breakdown, a boy of 16 a 5 and 6 year old, postnatal depression along with weight gain. I am not saying it was their fault, it was me that just could not deal with everything at once.

My partner and I are getting phone calls from the banks everyday sometimes up to 5 a day. But what the he'll.

Life is hard and you only get one shot at it, I lost my promotion at work to the 
disease, but it was the best thing that happened to me.

So how do you guys carry on? What keeps you going from day to day..


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## Laura (May 12, 2011)

the critters... but they are also a cause of stress sometimes too!
I have a redwood grove,, that is my 'church'. my place if need be to chill and 
talk to whomever.


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## Fernando (May 12, 2011)

When I'm stressed I look for comfort in this order:
God
Wife
Son
Torts =)
Family (sometimes they can be the issue)
friends


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## DeanS (May 12, 2011)

The shelled ones have served that purpose just fine...thank you very much


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## ALDABRAMAN (May 12, 2011)

When I was on the job, law enforcement, stress was alot worse. Never had financial stress, always have done better than average with making good investment choices, etc. I struggle with alot of larger issues and have been exposed to truths that most sleep better not knowing about. Never had a breakdown, however do get very frustrated. I tend to avoid the bad and seek out the good in life. My aldabra & radiated colonies are a major part of my life and they do tend to assist with destressing, at least when I had stress they did for sure. I tend not to watch the news much anymore, just almost always negative. We all have choices and alot depends on what we/you want out of/in life.


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## Edna (May 12, 2011)

SSRIs. Honest. Gets me through when repetitive negative thought cycles get the best of me.


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## bikerchicspain (May 12, 2011)

ALDABRAMAN said:


> When I was on the job, law enforcement, stress was alot worse. Never had financial stress, always have done better than average with making good investment choices, etc. I struggle with alot of larger issues and have been exposed to truths that most sleep better not knowing about. Never had a breakdown, however do get very frustrated. I tend to avoid the bad and seek out the good in life. My aldabra & radiated colonies are a major part of my life and they do tend to assist with destressing, at least when I had stress they did for sure. I tend not to watch the news much anymore, just almost always negative. We all have choices and alot depends on what we/you want out of/in life.



Thing is with my disease is that when someone says well mr bloggs around the corner is worse of, my answer is I don't care, I have my problems and unfortunately for me I think to much and I always think negative, that way if something turns out wrong I am not disappointed, but if the turn out great then better still,
I know it must be pretty hard for some of you to understand why a 40 year old ( young woman) would want to end her life, to me it's pretty easy, not an easy way out for me, but I was feeling pretty useless and a burden on my kids and thought they would be better of without me.

Some of you may now of someone that has gone through or going through what I have, and they will understand, most people just say your a coward, I am not. If I were doing it for myself then yes,
But I was doing it for my family, at least that's what I thought at the times..

It is difficult to explain, but I would like to educate people on this desease,

I did not get the chance to take my own life because the bloody bike wouldn't start, it was the worst and best christmas I have had, because I a learnt a lot about myself,

The thing is I cannot say nao to people when asked a favor, but when I ask a favor Theres no one there.

My enemy is myself.
I think and analysis too much, and curiosity way too much, I have to know why, when and how on everything.

I am not ashamed about my problem or being in a speacial unit.
I am not the first and or the last,

At the moment I can feel it creeping up on me again, but hopefully we can deal with it in time.

Guys I am talking to you from the bottom of my heart, because to me you are my friends, we have all got one thing in common, reptiles.
Thank you for letting me rant..xx


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## Yvonne G (May 12, 2011)

I read a lot, and that makes me sleepy, so I eventually have to take a nap every afternoon!  

I really can't say that I get stressed out. I live alone, have enough money to pay my bills (what few there are), am retired and can do whatever and whenever I want. 

There's nothing I can do for you because I'm too far away, but just know this, Yvonne, you ARE an important person. What you do IS important. You have saved plenty of animals and I believe THAT is your calling.

Just keep on keeping on!


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## Laura (May 12, 2011)

Yvonne spain,
the fact you are here and talking about it.. is the first step.. acknowledging it.. feeling it creeping up again as you say.. 
The fact that there are others dealing with worse then you are, or whomever.. sometimes, that does help.. less of a pity party so to speak.. but whatever it is.. its REAL TO YOU!.. its bothering YOU.. it may be trivial to others, but its your issue.. so its not trivial to you at the time. 
Keep talking to those who listen and care.. YOU are not trivial, your life is worth living.. good days and bad days... we all have them.. 
You are supposed to be here.. there.. wherever.. because you are.


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## Maggie Cummings (May 12, 2011)

Hey Yvonne...I have been diagnosed with PTSD. Sometimes I just want to stay in bed, but I have animals who must be fed. Then I have a cat who wants to chase this thing I throw for her. I throw it and she brings it back to me over and over. I have about 30 chelonia right now and they all need to be fed, the bird needs his toast for breakfast and the cats need to be fed. 
I am depressed a lot and I cry a lot, but my animals need care, and that's what I do. I mess with my animals all day long. This Post Traumatic Stress thing is weird and I am down a lot, but then I go sit on my deck in my swing and watch the birds who are at my feeder and I listen to them sing and when I am really down I call my sister and just talk to her, I tell her about the animals and I don't tell her I am down, I just talk a line of BS to her, but just talking normal to someone helps me. It's hard being an old lady with only one hand and no body to help me, but I just put one foot in front of the other and do the next indicated thing. Right now I have a small box turtle who is missing half his face and I am trying to figure out how to feed him. It is important for me to remember to just do the next indicated thing and right now that's for me to go get that box turtle out of the water and see if he'll eat some rollie pollies. Just do the next indicated thing and you'll get thru your day. Read the posts from the newbies who need help...And let us know you are down. Remember, we are here for you...

About the phone calls from bill collectors...if you don't recognize the number, don't answer the phone. You DON'T have to talk to them...


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## RV's mom (May 12, 2011)

My animals keep me going. And pottery. When I went back to school (at 36), it threw me into therapy... toward the end of my schooling, I had the pleasure of taking a pottery class. It was the outlet I needed and I continue to play in the clay as much as I can.. Music while I am in the studio is a boon and a bonus.

You are not weak, not a coward. I'm glad you came forward on the forum.. you are working on healing. Let it happen. We'll encourage you.

love and regards

teri


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## Isa (May 12, 2011)

Yvonne, 
Thanks for sharing this with us, you are part of the big TFO family and we are here for you. Life is not always easy and there are bad days but there are good days too. 
What keeps me sane is my tortoises, my family and talk about it when I feel down or when I am too stressed (I have a cronic disease so I know that sometimes it is so hard to stay sane...). When I am waiting for someone to call me for a date for another surgery or when I am waiting for my surgeon's call and I am going crazy because the phone does not ring, I love looking at Hermy and Popcorn or I just look outside and watch all the birds and squirrels doing their thing or I just come one the forum and it really helps me... Reading a good book helps me too .

*hugs*

Yvon


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## terryo (May 12, 2011)

Yvonne, I can understand everything you are saying. I lost my son a while ago. I couldn't get up in the morning.....it was just hard to take a breath. I re-homed all my boxies. My young son did his best to take care of my dogs, and my bonsai. Nothing mattered to me any more. Every day I would go to the cemetery and sit on a bench near his grave and cry and talk to him until they closed the gate. Some days I just didn't get out of bed. I used to think that if I did I would pass out. My youngest son kept one of my older box turtles and tried to care for her. My other son took care of my pond. If you ask me about those days I don't remember anything as I was drugged from morning to night. One day I got up and saw my small son sitting on the couch crying....he didn't go to school because he was afraid something would happen to me. Then I realized how much he needed me, and slowly I started to live again. I got a Cherry Head, some more boxies, my other son made me a turtle garden, and gave me a whole new yard with flower gardens, and my friend who had my old boxie, that my younger son couldn't take care of, gave her back to me. One day I was reading some posts on here and I saw Carl (cdmay) posted some pictures of his bonsai, and I ran downstairs to see if I could salvage any of mine. 
So now these are the things that keep me going. It will never be easy, and there are some days that I can't catch my breath, and think the anxiety attacks and depression are coming back and some days I can't stop crying, but I know now that it's OK to feel like this. And I also walk. I go down to the boardwalk and walk and walk and look at the ocean. Physical activity is the best thing you can do for yourself. All I can say is be as strong as you can and keep looking at your children....just look at them......sometimes it can change everything. 
This is a wonderful and caring group and I know everyone will always be willing to listen if you need to rant. I'll always listen.........


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## RV's mom (May 12, 2011)

reading the reality our members endure is both sad and inspiring. I'm sending everyone who wants one, a very big hug.


teri


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## ALDABRAMAN (May 12, 2011)

sharkstar said:


> reading the reality our members endure is both sad and inspiring. I'm sending everyone who wants one, a very big hug.
> 
> 
> teri



I want one! It needs to be Big, I am 6'5" and 390! xoxo.


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## bikerchicspain (May 13, 2011)

Thank you guys.
Terryo, sorry for your loss.
No parent should out live their child, sound like you 2 other wonderful kids there to keep your head afloat. I like you am here if ever you need to rant,complain, anything, I will listen without judging.xx

Maggie.
I do not know much about PTSD, I have heard it's one of those depressions that will never leave you at peace, I also say the same to you as terryo, if you need me, I am here. Xx

ISA, I do not know what you must be going through but, you will get that call soon,very soon .I know you will.xx

Yvonne you are not old, your torts might be but you are not, everyone on here loves you to bits and we thoroughly enjoy your posts and opinions.xx


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## onarock (May 13, 2011)

I have spent my life within 5 min of the Pacific Ocean and I love to surf... been surfing since I was 6. When I get stressed I go to the ocean.


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## Terry Allan Hall (May 13, 2011)

I fight stress through loving my wife, children, Grandmother and our "beasties"...the faith I follow teaches us that our family/friends/pets give us roots and strength.





*The Hall Household*​
As the song goes, they're all the wind beneath my wings...hope someday to be worthy of them all. 

Now, as to my sanity...I quit bothering with that years ago!


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## Candy (May 13, 2011)

Yvonne may I ask how long you've felt this way? Has it been years or just recently? Do you have someone who is teaching you to deal with these feelings? I am sorry this has happened to you and only hope that you find the support that you need. Take care.


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## african cake queen (May 13, 2011)

hi , what keep me sane? god, family and my pets. i have learned as an old fart , not to worry about things i can't control. happy over all! lindy


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## ALDABRAMAN (May 13, 2011)

momo said:


> hi , what keep me sane? god, family and my pets. i have learned as an old fart , not to worry about things i can't control. happy over all! lindy


Lindy, anyone who is happy about finding a spoiler, I think you are great!





Terry Allan Hall said:


> I fight stress through loving my wife, children, Grandmother and our "beasties"...the faith I follow teaches us that our family/friends/pets give us roots and strength.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Very nice looking family, you folks for sure seem happy.


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## Terry Allan Hall (May 13, 2011)

Terry Allan Hall said:


> I fight stress through loving my wife, children, Grandmother and our "beasties"...the faith I follow teaches us that our family/friends/pets give us roots and strength.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Very nice looking family, you folks for sure seem happy.


[/quote]

We are happy, at that...4 generations under one roof is pretty cool. 

As for nice looking, well, 4 out of 5 ain't bad...and they rarely mind me hanging around.


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## ALDABRAMAN (May 13, 2011)

Terry Allan Hall said:


> Terry Allan Hall said:
> 
> 
> > I fight stress through loving my wife, children, Grandmother and our "beasties"...the faith I follow teaches us that our family/friends/pets give us roots and strength.
> ...



We are happy, at that...4 generations under one roof is pretty cool. 

As for nice looking, well, 4 out of 5 ain't bad...and they rarely mind me hanging around. 
[/quote]

LOL, ok!


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## Angi (May 13, 2011)

What keeps me sane is a good question.I can say my kids. I force myself to stay sane because of them yet sometime they are what stresses me out. I have a 17 year old and am not dealing with the teenager thing well. He also has OCD and I am so afraid of him sinking back into the bad place. I also worry about him getting into drug or alcohol. As far as I know he has not tried either, but it scares the heck out of me. My 12 year old is a very high energy, busy kid that wears me out. I know they both need me, but a lot of the time I feel usless. I don't have any good job skills and I also suffer from OCD and anxiety. With a low dose of meds and a lot of chinesse herbs I can control the OCD and anxiety in myself. I vollenteer and get involved with good causes and that makes me feel useful. I think I would become very depressed if I didn't feel that I was in some way helping others. Taking care of my tortoises relaxes me. I also pray a LOT.


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## Angi (May 13, 2011)

What keeps me sane is a good question.I can say my kids. I force myself to stay sane because of them yet sometime they are what stresses me out. I have a 17 year old and am not dealing with the teenager thing well. He also has OCD and I am so afraid of him sinking back into the bad place. I also worry about him getting into drug or alcohol. As far as I know he has not tried either, but it scares the heck out of me. My 12 year old is a very high energy, busy kid that wears me out. I know they both need me, but a lot of the time I feel usless. I don't have any good job skills and I also suffer from OCD and anxiety. With a low dose of meds and a lot of chinesse herbs I can control the OCD and anxiety in myself. I vollenteer and get involved with good causes and that makes me feel useful. I think I would become very depressed if I didn't feel that I was in some way helping others. Taking care of my tortoises relaxes me. I also pray a LOT.


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## LeroyLeft (May 14, 2011)

I really dont post alot on the forum but iam on vacation ,cruiseing cozmel ,and key west, I just felt I had to say you are not alone! it takes alot of strength and courage to even openly talk about this .I also had a breakdown was out of work for months lost my zest for life thoughts of ending it.they said i suffered from ptsd and deppression for me i had to go into theropy and meds its not easy but there is hope and help ,my wife didnt give up on me or my daughter ,they stuck by my side.its been some years I lerned that material things are just that. I have learned to injoy life again. my torts help alot ,my woods my family .you are going to get through this its not easy, but talking about it for me help alot you are not alone. I wish you the very best .


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## fhintz (May 14, 2011)

I can't say I reached the point of a mental breakdown, but I ended up in therapy for a few months recently. I can relate a bit to what you're saying. I have the same challenge of overanalyzing and thinking things over too much. Leads to pretty bad social anxiety among other things.

I totally agree that you can't compare your problems to anyone else's. When someone's feelings start to overwhelm them, it doesn't matter how or why, it's just important to address them and start feeling healthy again.

What helps keep me going is music, reading, and friends/family, and my precious little tortois does help too. One important thing for me is to kind of force myself into social situations even when I'm nervous about them. Usually turns out better than I expected and reminds me that people do care about me even if sometimes it seems like I slip away unnoticed. Also, I started doing meditation which helps.

The first step for me was really just accepting where I was at and consciously wanting to get better, so I think its great that you're open about what your experiences were and are and facing those challenges.

You're definitely a positive contributor on this forum, and are doing a lot of good for animals.

I hope you find peace of my mind and lots of good feelings for yourself.

Best wishes,

Frank


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