# Need a womans advice ( again) others feel free to chime in.



## dmmj (Nov 26, 2011)

So as most of you may know there is a woman I am infatuated with, I see her once a week we chat about stuff,. Well I have been wondering if a small christmas gift would be appropriate? Now our chats have been progressing last week we talked about thanksgiving day plans. So I was thinking of giving a gift to her my main concern is she might get freaked out or something. now the gift I was thinking about is I make those tie quilts for family and friends, every time a baby that gets born in my family gets one on their first birthday, I have been doing this for a long time and they quickly become cherished items, plus they are warm. So I was thinking of making one for her and giving it to her my thinking about this would be every time she uses it she would think of me, what better way could I accomplish this then that? My concern like I said is the freak out factor I am 99 percent sure she is interested. so if a guy who you liked gave you something like this would you like it? would it weird you out? thoughts comments all are appreciated.


----------



## Jacqui (Nov 26, 2011)

David, you could give me one any time you want! For me, it would convey a lot about you (and all good things). It would actually melt my heart. I would say go for it. One of the major reasons being your too shy to take that first step on your own. This very personal gift from you, could do that for you. A bridge between being just customer and trying for a friendship.


----------



## cherylim (Nov 26, 2011)

I agree with Jacqui, but would also remind you not to be too disheartened if it seems like it's not taken too well.

If I received that gift, I'd probably accept it shyly. I'd say thanks, but I'd probably be too embarrassed to keep talking to you there and then. It would take me a week or two to get back to chatting to you, but at least I'd know your intentions and could move things on from there.


----------



## Kristina (Nov 26, 2011)

Are you kidding me? A hand made item from a guy that is somewhat outside of the realm of typical "guy made things" (I mean, something other than a gun rack!  ) 

I'd melt like butter. I think it sounds like a wonderful, thoughtful gift!


----------



## jaizei (Nov 26, 2011)

I do not think you should give her a gift. If you are _that_ sure she is interested, then bite the bullet and make a move.


----------



## Yvonne G (Nov 26, 2011)

I'm afraid I'm going to have to disagree with most and agree with jaizei. Don't give her a gift until you've at least asked her out for coffee or a coke. 

Have you talked to her about the quilts? Does she know that you make them and has she expressed an interest in them.

I just think it would freak her out to receive a gift from someone she has just talked to as a customer and never actually had any personal time with.


----------



## Jacqui (Nov 26, 2011)

emysemys said:


> I just think it would freak her out to receive a gift from someone she has just talked to as a customer and never actually had any personal time with.



I guess I think of it as being pretty normal, because I have been gifted (as were my cashiers by different folks) often back when I worked overnights at WalMart.


----------



## Kristina (Nov 26, 2011)

I too, as a cosmetologist, received many gifts throughout the holiday season, both from men and women.


----------



## CtTortoiseMom (Nov 26, 2011)

I think you should make your intentions clear and ask her out first and foremost.


----------



## cemmons12 (Nov 26, 2011)

Well I am not a woman but I think it is a very nice idea. But what do I know?


----------



## Tony the tank (Nov 26, 2011)

Well I'm not a chick...But I would recommend the direct approach... Just ask her out.. Sometimes gifts make people feel funny.....if she excepts the dinner or lunch invite ...Then you can move on to the gift...

....Don't forget you are CAPTAIN AWESOME....


----------



## bigred (Nov 26, 2011)

Well I would say buy her a tortoise. Ive been married 3 times so Im not even gonna give any advice if you know what I mean. hahahaha and yes im serious


----------



## Laura (Nov 26, 2011)

make the move to have a drink.. if she accepts.. give it to her then.. or if the drink date goes well. make a second date and give it to her at that time.. 
Do you have a theme for the quilt? something she likes? colors? 
people can act weird about gifts.. some love them and others will feel more pressured.. it could backfire.. but if it doenst.. then who hoo!
Ask her out first..


----------



## ascott (Nov 26, 2011)

Captain is this the gal you shared of before, where you stop for coffe and donuts? If so, then good going on keeping the conversations going 

I would say that you will put love and dedication into making the quilt....I would personally feel indebted to the person that gave me the hand made, time consuming, beautiful quilt....what I mean is that if I were not interested in the same way it may make me feel a little off...as well as I do not think that I could accept it if my feelings were not truly in line with yours....and as a woman honestly she would have to know your feelings by now, you know? So I would say grab the reigns and ask the lady out, there are only two things that could happen  she says yes and you all take it from there, she says no and you all take it from there....I would personally like and appreciate this approach much better....I then can smile and accept or smile and decline while still appreciating your growing friendship .....

Now on another note: since I have spoken with you lots...and enjoy the sharing here on the forum...."I" on the other hand would absolutely think it completely lovely if you felt compelled to make me a quilt (my fav colors are anything that relate to our beautiful earth....)

Hey Cap....._*GO FOR IT, YOU CAN DO IT !!!!!*_

Cap....I don't know if too many people truly appreciate matters of the heart as they did in days gone by....I don't know if folks truly cherish the purest form of the heart...which is to be able to act fully and childlike in the funnest compliment of the meaning....so you know what.....do what makes you feel good and right.....do what it is that makes you exactly you.....if the gal does not "get you" then it is likely she is not the one that is deserving of you....and if she is, well then hell there ya go 

I think that sometimes folks worry too much about what someone might think of us if we share what we feel as though if the feelings are not the same the world will suddenly stop spinning.....I think you should do exactly what your heart tells you and if you hit the mark then awesome....and if you don't there is a saying that I have always felt to be 100% true;

"It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all"

Good wishes to you which ever you decide Cap


----------



## ALDABRAMAN (Nov 26, 2011)

emysemys said:


> I'm afraid I'm going to have to disagree with most and agree with jaizei. Don't give her a gift until you've at least asked her out for coffee or a coke.
> 
> Have you talked to her about the quilts? Does she know that you make them and has she expressed an interest in them.
> 
> I just think it would freak her out to receive a gift from someone she has just talked to as a customer and never actually had any personal time with.



I agree 100%.


----------



## Angi (Nov 26, 2011)

I would say that it is a good idea if you are giving it to her because she is your favorite waitress . If it is just because you like her then it is not a good idea unless you have developed a friendship. I was a waitress for many years and got gifts around the holidays and really enjoyed it. Big tips were great but I also loved it when I got a home made pumpkin pie every Thanksgiving and Christmas or something that let me know they thought highly of me.. 
What freaked me out was getting a dozen long stemmed roses. What I hated was guys who treated me different after I turned them down for a date. If you haven't asked this girl out yet, just do it. Ask her out for coffee or lunch, if she says no then you know she just wants to be friends. But at least you will know and you can just work on being a friend. Oh ya and let us know what happends.


----------



## TurtleTortoise (Nov 26, 2011)

Do something smaller first and slowly work up to it.


----------



## DesertGrandma (Nov 26, 2011)

ALDABRAMAN said:


> emysemys said:
> 
> 
> > I'm afraid I'm going to have to disagree with most and agree with jaizei. Don't give her a gift until you've at least asked her out for coffee or a coke.
> ...


----------



## Maggie Cummings (Nov 26, 2011)

IF you know what she is interested in, like me with Dale Earnhardt, if she's interested in horses, or NASCAR or flowers. If you know exactly what she is interested in I say make a quilt about that, whatever is her theme and give it to her. I personally would love something like that. BUT...BUT...you are getting advice from someone who has never made a relationship work...


----------



## terryo (Nov 26, 2011)

What is a tie quilt? I think you should ask her out first, before giving a beautiful hand made gift. It might be different if the gift were something that you didn't put so much time into...like a little token gift that people usually give to teachers, etc. I can't believe you still didn't ask her out. If you ask her out now and have a few dates before Christmas, then the quilt will be a good thing, but not before you go out with her.


----------



## JLSchmittou (Nov 26, 2011)

So... I will throw in my two cents. A gift is a great idea. A uber personal gift that you give realities on their kids first birthday, probably not a good idea. You should give something small that shows a token of appreciation... The quilt is very personal and thoughtful which is appropriate for a more intimate relationship, than what you've described.

Just my opinion. Take everyone's advice and ASK HER OUT already


----------



## Tom (Nov 26, 2011)

Dude! Women are unfigureoutable. Don't you know that by now? Sheesh...


----------



## FADE2BLACK_1973 (Nov 26, 2011)

TurtleTortoise said:


> Do something smaller first and slowly work up to it.



I agree. Im not a girl but I gave my wife gifts when we 1st started going out. Things like what she collected. Back then it was teddy bears. Ask her what she loves or collects. Then buy something small at 1st, like what TurtleTortoise mentioned.


----------



## Yvonne G (Nov 26, 2011)

Terry: If I've interpreted it correctly, its a quilt made from neck ties.


----------



## bigred (Nov 26, 2011)

Tom said:


> Dude! Women are unfigureoutable. Don't you know that by now? Sheesh...



I like that - Im gonna tell my wife that as soon as she wakes up in the morning


----------



## ascott (Nov 26, 2011)

_*Dude! Women are unfigureoutable. Don't you know that by now? Sheesh...*_

LOL....now, being a grown woman and all it has taken me all of my 44 years to say that my reply to Toms deep felt statement (along with his add of a new word to our language ) is;

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT !!!!! LOL some days Tom, I just say "seriously? What the hell are you doing Angela"....LOL 

Cap, you rock and if this chick does not get it then....well, her loss


----------



## bigred (Nov 26, 2011)

You know Ive given this some serious thought and ive come up with perfect solution. Ive got a perfectly good wife you can have and Im serious shes great.


----------



## ascott (Nov 26, 2011)

LMAOFFFFFFFFF


----------



## lynnedit (Nov 26, 2011)

If you are 99% sure, then you should ask her out first; coffee, etc.
However, if you just can't do that (I know many have advised you take that step, but it IS really hard), you need to do something. She already knows you are a really nice guy. So give her the gift. You need to make the leap!


----------



## Kristina (Nov 27, 2011)

emysemys said:


> Terry: If I've interpreted it correctly, its a quilt made from neck ties.



LOL!!!! No, they are quilts that are made by cutting the edges of the pieces in strips and tying them together. 

I have seen where people use neck ties to make a sunburst pattern in a quilt, but I am pretty sure we are talking about the fuzzy fleece kind here


----------



## N2TORTS (Nov 27, 2011)

DJ....not only a jokester but a romantic too? 

your idea sounds superb...with alot of heart...nice~

"just do it"....( in my Nike voice)

JD~


----------



## bigred (Nov 27, 2011)

bigred said:


> Tom said:
> 
> 
> > Dude! Women are unfigureoutable. Don't you know that by now? Sheesh...
> ...



Ok so I told her as soon as she woke up, she laughed and said you have been on the tortoise forum already this am


----------



## Beeliz (Nov 27, 2011)

Oh,,totally go for it! That's so adorable,no one would pass that up, especially if he owns a turtle or two,,LOL
But sounds like a really nice,gentle approach ..I'm a yes!


----------



## Jacqui (Nov 27, 2011)

bigred said:


> You know Ive given this some serious thought and ive come up with perfect solution. Ive got a perfectly good wife you can have and Im serious shes great.



If I recall correctl, didn't you say you were on number 3? Thoughts like this might explain that.


----------



## Candy (Nov 27, 2011)

David, I'm curious if this is the same girl that you asked for advice about the last time? If you're 99% sure then why haven't you asked her out for coffee yet? I'm with Yvonne on the gift, I'd ask her out first.


----------



## Maggie Cummings (Nov 27, 2011)

Kristina said:


> emysemys said:
> 
> 
> > Terry: If I've interpreted it correctly, its a quilt made from neck ties.
> ...




My friends (yes, I actually have some) made me one of those with Dale Earnhardt pictures all over so I could put his face against mine...yummy!


----------



## bigred (Nov 27, 2011)

Jacqui said:


> bigred said:
> 
> 
> > You know Ive given this some serious thought and ive come up with perfect solution. Ive got a perfectly good wife you can have and Im serious shes great.
> ...


Yes Im on number 3, and all this time Ive been thinking what a well adjusted member of society I am. Maybe it really is me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No cant be, must be that unfigureoutable thing lol My wife really is great I wouldnt give her away even if I really could:


----------



## Laura (Nov 27, 2011)

Candy said:


> David, I'm curious if this is the same girl that you asked for advice about the last time? If you're 99% sure then why haven't you asked her out for coffee yet? I'm with Yvonne on the gift, I'd ask her out first.



this was my thought as well... that was some time ago too.. 
SO..... do tell.. what happened?


----------



## terryo (Nov 27, 2011)

maggie3fan said:


> Kristina said:
> 
> 
> > emysemys said:
> ...



Wow! Very nice. I've never heard or seen them before. David, I'll go for coffee with you if you make one for me. 




terryo said:


> maggie3fan said:
> 
> 
> > Kristina said:
> ...


----------



## Momof4 (Dec 1, 2011)

Any news! We all want to know if you asked her out. Well?


----------



## DesertGrandma (Dec 1, 2011)

I have to chime in here on the quilt type. I am a quilter and here is my take on tie quilts. There are "tied" quilts, meaning they are tied with floss instead of actually "quilted." Then there are some beautiful neck tie quilts made by opening up old neck ties, cutting them into pieces/strips and piecing them together much like a crazy quilt. Crazy quilts are always made of silks, satins, and all sorts of gorgeous fabrics and then usually embroidered with intricate designs. The pictures above of the fleece blankets are not quilts as they are not "quilted." The one with squares is a frayed-edge quilt, but not tied nor made with neck ties. Just my little bit of information. David you will have to describe what kind of quilts you make, as we are dying to know......


----------



## ascott (Dec 1, 2011)

Hello Captain...... We are all dangling here like fish snared on a line....how about checking in with is on your thread......HELLO


----------



## Momof4 (Dec 3, 2011)

Well?


----------



## Laura (Dec 3, 2011)

Ditto...


----------



## lynnedit (Dec 3, 2011)

*tapping foot impatiently*


----------



## TylerStewart (Dec 3, 2011)

My vote is to ask her out.... That said, don't ask her to coffee or a bar date; I think that's kinda corny. I picture all those nerds that take their laptop to Starbucks and sit there for 4 hours, and I don't think that's appealing to most girls. Take her to do something fun; whatever it is. Sitting in front of a cup of coffee is just forcing a conversation that has a very high chance of being awkward after you just asked her out. In college, we used to collect wood pallets and stack them 10-12 high in the middle of the forest, stash a few half gallons of gasoline in there, then ask random, cute girls out and take them out there and have a bonfire. We'd throw a peach cobbler in the dutch oven and bring along ice cream. They were in love on the first date, I'm tellin you (I did this several times, and it never failed). It gives you something off subject to talk about and have fun with. 

As far as the gift, my vote on that is to not give her one; at least not prior to asking her out. If you still decide to, give it to her very late (like day before Christmas or the day of) so that she doesn't have time or feel obligated to give one back. If you give it a week out, she's going to scramble to give something back, and she shouldn't have to. 

At the end of the day, don't get too attached or think about it too much. If she's unavailable for whatever reason, you don't want to have so much time and effort spent.... I realize some will disagree with this, but I think it's much easier to meet a chick a few times, ask her out straight up, and if it fails, nothing really lost and you look for another girl. Daydreaming about someone for months just lets other opportunities pass and makes a potential denial that much more difficult. 

There's this cute 20-something blonde working at the pizza place we go to once a week down the street. I've been trying to ask her out, but my problem is usually my wife and screaming kids are with me.


----------



## bigred (Dec 3, 2011)

TylerStewart said:


> My vote is to ask her out.... That said, don't ask her to coffee or a bar date; I think that's kinda corny. I picture all those nerds that take their laptop to Starbucks and sit there for 4 hours, and I don't think that's appealing to most girls. Take her to do something fun; whatever it is. Sitting in front of a cup of coffee is just forcing a conversation that has a very high chance of being awkward after you just asked her out. In college, we used to collect wood pallets and stack them 10-12 high in the middle of the forest, stash a few half gallons of gasoline in there, then ask random, cute girls out and take them out there and have a bonfire. We'd throw a peach cobbler in the dutch oven and bring along ice cream. They were in love on the first date, I'm tellin you (I did this several times, and it never failed). It gives you something off subject to talk about and have fun with.
> 
> As far as the gift, my vote on that is to not give her one; at least not prior to asking her out. If you still decide to, give it to her very late (like day before Christmas or the day of) so that she doesn't have time or feel obligated to give one back. If you give it a week out, she's going to scramble to give something back, and she shouldn't have to.
> 
> ...



PEACH COBBLER AND ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even I wouldnt be able to resist that. Ive been kinda wondering what happend myself.


----------



## fhintz (Dec 4, 2011)

Speaking as a shy person, I know it takes a lot of guts to put things out on a forum like this, even if people are helpful and its a friendly atmosphere. So, please be patient with his response time.

Good luck.


----------



## Sammy (Dec 22, 2011)

Speaking as a womanîŠ.... Prefer Like men who speaks their mind, be direct and don't waste time. Life is short, ask her out for dinner and give her the 'thing' (forgot the name) 3 months later

If you act now, someone might get there before you. Good luck!

Sorry I mean if you don't act now


----------



## Laura (Dec 22, 2011)

Hey... what was the outcome... did you ask her??


----------

