# Communication options?



## ALDABRAMAN (Aug 12, 2015)

Many do not me on a personal level, one thing we always offer is unconditional lifelong support and direction with this species. I get many e-mails from folks that purchase baby aldabra imports and want information, help, advice, direction, etc. I usually return the e-mail with my phone number and tell them to feel free to call me directly. Many never call and some simply pose the next e-mail a different way, basically seems that many simply avoid direct conversation and avoid one on one verbal interactions by phone. Honestly, as some of you know, i am very forthcoming with much of our experiences and information and simply find that a direct phone call is much better and has way more value than an e-mail. My question is why do you think folks prefer general e-mails as a way to communicate instead of calling and talking on the phone?


----------



## wellington (Aug 12, 2015)

One thought I have is that they either feel intimidated, cause they don't know much about their tort or tortoises in general, or because they didn't buy it from you, they feel guilty about asking you. All is easier in writing then in person or voice to voice.


----------



## ALDABRAMAN (Aug 12, 2015)

wellington said:


> or because they didn't buy it from you, they feel guilty about asking you.



~ That may be one reason, some of the ones that have called do relate that after purchase the source they purchased from has no actual knowledge with actually raising babies because they simply purchase (import) and ship them back out to the buyer the next day!


----------



## ALDABRAMAN (Aug 12, 2015)

wellington said:


> cause they don't know much about their tort or tortoises in general



~ That is also a good possible reason, truly hope not!


----------



## ALDABRAMAN (Aug 12, 2015)

wellington said:


> All is easier in writing then in person or voice to voice.



~ True, however sometimes answering some of the questions can be very time consuming and difficult to explain properly in writing!


----------



## wellington (Aug 12, 2015)

ALDABRAMAN said:


> ~ True, however sometimes answering some of the questions can be very time consuming and difficult to explain properly in writing!


I totally agree. I wonder, if you were to communicate through email a couple times, let them get to know you, feel you out, if they would feel more comfortable talking to you then. 
Another reason might also be that if they call you, they are taking up a lot,of your time and theirs. Where an email, they can type and go about their busy day and you can answer at your leisure. I know that's why I like texting people instead,if calling sometimes. I want to say something or tell someone something, but I don't have the time to waist sitting on a phone conversation that might go on and on. A couple seconds on a text and I'm on my way.
Heck, it's unfortunatley, the way the world is going. Pretty soon, no one will speak to each other


----------



## tortadise (Aug 12, 2015)

ALDABRAMAN said:


> Many do not me on a personal level, one thing we always offer is unconditional lifelong support and direction with this species. I get many e-mails from folks that purchase baby aldabra imports and want information, help, advice, direction, etc. I usually return the e-mail with my phone number and tell them to feel free to call me directly. Many never call and some simply pose the next e-mail a different way, basically seems that many simply avoid direct conversation and avoid one on one verbal interactions by phone. Honestly, as some of you know, i am very forthcoming with much of our experiences and information and simply find that a direct phone call is much better and has way more value than an e-mail. My question is why do you think folks prefer general e-mails as a way to communicate instead of calling and talking on the phone?


Say wha? I love calling and talking with you, it's been too long though brotha! But to answer your question in my opinion. I think we have become less personal and directive in communication now days. Look at the social media, even the media in general, or the educational system. I have many children from Girl/Boy Scouts to high even college level students volunteer. One thing in common with all the variety of ages is they're very "reclusive" in a communicative manor. They complete tasks given, but fail to answer questions or small talk in a detailed compassionate responsive disposition. It's simple "yes" or "no" or even just a physical smirk, smile or laugh(pending the nature of conversation brought up by me. 

When I was in south Texas visiting the property for the tortoise zoo to move. I went to dinner with the family and they had a 18 year old and a 14 year old. The entire time we were at dinner they were on the phone, and or just observing my explosive comical and tortoise nerd behavior. Like they have never heard or seen anyone talking or carrying on a conversation with physical movements and jokes and laughs and outright robust behavior. None was bad at all trust me of course.

But yeah anyways. It's kinda sad really. We (collective general modern society) have lost our ability to vocalize, compassionately express ourselves(in our OWN way not an emoji, photo with a text caption, or video or gif of some clip from a a a TV show or whatever is happening now days [kardashians]) blah blah on my part.

Wish people talked more often and kept adding to the wrinkles in the brain.


----------



## leigti (Aug 12, 2015)

I see this happen all the time. Even at college level students do not communicate with each other. One Friends told me that even walking across campus people did not make eye contact or say a word. If she does look somebody in the eye they suddenly looked down at their phone. They are unable to communicate face-to-face. It is tragic, sometimes when I see teenagers I have to tell them numerous times to put their phone away during the therapy session. That's insane in my opinion. Parents need to curb some of this behavior, those parents should've not let their kids be on the phone during dinner. It's rude and inconsiderate. But it's not just kids. Go to any public place and just sit and watch people. 75% of them will be on a phone, tablet, or a laptop. The rest have earbuds in there listening to whatever. It is sad and is actually becoming a problem in the workforce. People can't get away from their phone long enough to actually do their job. 
You're lucky they even email. I know people that refuse to even look at their email anymore. If they don't receive a text then they don't acknowledge it. Voicemail and email don't count anymore for some people. Very very sad.


----------



## tortadise (Aug 12, 2015)

leigti said:


> I see this happen all the time. Even at college level students do not communicate with each other. One Friends told me that even walking across campus people did not make eye contact or say a word. If she does look somebody in the eye they suddenly looked down at their phone. They are unable to communicate face-to-face. It is tragic, sometimes when I see teenagers I have to tell them numerous times to put their phone away during the therapy session. That's insane in my opinion. Parents need to curb some of this behavior, those parents should've not let their kids be on the phone during dinner. It's rude and inconsiderate. But it's not just kids. Go to any public place and just sit and watch people. 75% of them will be on a phone, tablet, or a laptop. The rest have earbuds in there listening to whatever. It is sad and is actually becoming a problem in the workforce. People can't get away from their phone long enough to actually do their job.
> You're lucky they even email. I know people that refuse to even look at their email anymore. If they don't receive a text then they don't acknowledge it. Voicemail and email don't count anymore for some people. Very very sad.


Yep my mom is a college professor at A&M. She says same thing, they just get more slack and don't even try anymore much. Per her. But I do t doubt it.

One thing I will kinda disagree and also agree with at the same time. Is the parenting aspect. Parents can give, teach, and model as grand as possible. But letting children off to learn and live the world in there own way is part of being human and a good parent. So even though most times it rules back to parenting and at home life is only a portion of what the child or person is exposed to. Society needs to established values, principles, ethics, and not ban technology from upbringing. But utilize it as a tool to display the same things we were taught just in an electric screen manor instead of a paper book. It's very difficult though. We can all agree and say well Facebook ruined this society, googled changed the world, Apple turned us into zombies. That's correct in a way. But it's still our minds that we are in control of. Our destiny that we can strive to achieve. Maybe utilize the fruits of ease in our society in parenting as a treat.

I'm blabbing again and getting entirely off topic. Bad moderator, bad.


----------



## tortadise (Aug 12, 2015)

ALDABRAMAN said:


> ~ True, however sometimes answering some of the questions can be very time consuming and difficult to explain properly in writing!


Maybe just a simple response. And perhaps a template could be utilized for you Greg in an email response. Kinda like a short bio of you, your girlfriend, your history, your passion of Aldabras, and how peculiar this species really is misunderstood and can be taken care incorrectly too easily etc.. And nicely say the best way is to call and discuss this personally with the master. A nice template/blanket response.


----------



## ALDABRAMAN (Aug 12, 2015)

tortadise said:


> I love calling and talking with you



~ I truly love talking to you and Tom also!



tortadise said:


> Maybe just a simple response. And perhaps a template could be utilized for you Greg in an email response. Kinda like a short bio of you, your girlfriend, your history, your passion of Aldabras, and how peculiar this species really is misunderstood and can be taken care incorrectly too easily etc.. And nicely say the best way is to call and discuss this personally with the master. A nice template/blanket response.



~ Good idea!


----------



## Gillian M (Aug 13, 2015)

Could there be a _financial _explanation? Phone-calls can be costly, particularly when we mean international calls.


----------



## leigti (Aug 13, 2015)

Do you have your own website you can also refer people to. Something with basic information. Once they've read the basics maybe they would feel more comfortable talking with you about specifics.


----------



## leigti (Aug 13, 2015)

Gillian Moore said:


> Could there be a _financial _explanation? Phone-calls can be costly, particularly when we mean international calls.


I think most people get free long distance with their phone plans. But definitely international calls could add up I would think.


----------



## MichaelaW (Aug 13, 2015)

tortadise said:


> Say wha? I love calling and talking with you, it's been too long though brotha! But to answer your question in my opinion. I think we have become less personal and directive in communication now days. Look at the social media, even the media in general, or the educational system. I have many children from Girl/Boy Scouts to high even college level students volunteer. One thing in common with all the variety of ages is they're very "reclusive" in a communicative manor. They complete tasks given, but fail to answer questions or small talk in a detailed compassionate responsive disposition. It's simple "yes" or "no" or even just a physical smirk, smile or laugh(pending the nature of conversation brought up by me.
> 
> When I was in south Texas visiting the property for the tortoise zoo to move. I went to dinner with the family and they had a 18 year old and a 14 year old. The entire time we were at dinner they were on the phone, and or just observing my explosive comical and tortoise nerd behavior. Like they have never heard or seen anyone talking or carrying on a conversation with physical movements and jokes and laughs and outright robust behavior. None was bad at all trust me of course.
> 
> ...


I would much rather call someone than discuss something through email. I have had several great conversations with people about turtles and tortoises over the phone.


----------



## Kapidolo Farms (Aug 13, 2015)

Most people mentally stutter, they have a difficult time describing description-ally rich things with voice without much hand waving and emoting which is not well done on the phone. An e-mail allows for a moment to clarify their thought and reread what they have written, so they can feel confident it is what they intend to ask or tell. In short speaking about technical and semi technical things on the phone is not easy. 

The down side is there is no "out loud thinking" without conversation, and people are often afraid to 'say the wrong thing' or appear 'stupid'. I okay to blunder verbally, I get value from it.


----------



## SarahChelonoidis (Aug 13, 2015)

Is it possibly a language issue? If they're not very strong in spoken English, they may prefer emails so they can have time to choose their words carefully.


----------



## MichaelaW (Aug 13, 2015)

Will said:


> Most people mentally stutter, they have a difficult time describing description-ally rich things with voice without much hand waving and emoting which is not well done on the phone. An e-mail allows for a moment to clarify their thought and reread what they have written, so they can feel confident it is what they intend to ask or tell. In short speaking about technical and semi technical things on the phone is not easy.
> 
> The down side is there is no "out loud thinking" without conversation, and people are often afraid to 'say the wrong thing' or appear 'stupid'. I okay to blunder verbally, I get value from it.


I agree. Sometimes I kind of stutter in phone calls, but I still enjoy phone conversations.


----------



## Gillian M (Aug 13, 2015)

Will said:


> Most people mentally stutter, they have a difficult time describing description-ally rich things with voice without much hand waving and emoting which is not well done on the phone. An e-mail allows for a moment to clarify their thought and reread what they have written, so they can feel confident it is what they intend to ask or tell. In short speaking about technical and semi technical things on the phone is not easy.
> 
> The down side is there is no "out loud thinking" without conversation, and people are often afraid to 'say the wrong thing' or appear 'stupid'. I okay to blunder verbally, I get value from it.


Those who are not that self confident would stutter but this wouldn't apply everyone. I do understand that when writing/typing one can think, think again, write, re-write, correct phrases/sentences. But a phone-call is something different I think.


----------



## Yvonne G (Aug 13, 2015)

Personally, I don't like to talk on the phone. I would much rather converse through email.


----------



## Gillian M (Aug 13, 2015)

SarahChelonoidis said:


> Is it possibly a language issue? If they're not very strong in spoken English, they may prefer emails so they can have time to choose their words carefully.


I agree with that: if you're to talk to someone on the phone, and it's not a language you speak *fluently*, or not your *mother tongue*, this could make email messages easier, much easier.


----------



## Gillian M (Aug 13, 2015)

Yvonne G said:


> Personally, I don't like to talk on the phone. I would much rather converse through email.


Hi. Why?


----------



## Yvonne G (Aug 13, 2015)

Gillian Moore said:


> Hi. Why?



It hurts my ear drum, for one. Also it seems a waste of time to sit there doing nothing. It makes me antsy. With email, I read it, I answer it, I go away and get busy doing other things.


----------



## MichaelaW (Aug 13, 2015)

Maybe it depends on the topic of conversation. If it's just a quick question, maybe email is better. If it's a lengthy topic, a phone call might be better.


----------



## Rutibegga (Aug 13, 2015)

I'm an email person, myself. I rarely use my phone as a phone; mini-computer, texting machine, email device? Sure. My job involves communicating with people all day long, and a SO prefer email... Though it's also just easier to document in a medical chart.


----------



## ALDABRAMAN (Aug 13, 2015)

One thing to remember is anything you type in an e-mail is a permanent record and a phone conversation is a one time event!


----------



## MichaelaW (Aug 13, 2015)

ALDABRAMAN said:


> One thing to remember is anything you type in an e-mail is a permanent record and a phone conversation is a one time event!


True!


----------



## ALDABRAMAN (Aug 13, 2015)

MichaelaW said:


> True!



~ I was blessed in my professional career to never have any issues with e-mails, however look at the mess with Hillary!


----------



## ALDABRAMAN (Aug 13, 2015)

ALDABRAMAN said:


> phone conversation



~ I received an e-mail from another TFO member yesterday regarding his aldabra tortoises and after a few back and forth generic e-mails i told him to just call me. He did, and we talked for a few hours, wonderful exchange and actually made a new friend who shares the same passion regarding his tortoises. We actually spoke today for a short time also, a simple e-mail would have had no real value, a phone call turned into a great new contact and possible a lifelong new friend. Honestly, there are also some that i would never want to talk to also, LOL!

~ I also feel that e-mails can be so misinterpreted whereas a direct conversation has much more value at many levels!


----------



## MichaelaW (Aug 13, 2015)

I absolutely love talking tortoises over the phone with people! I've communicated with two breeders over the phone from whom I purchased tortoises or am going to purchase tortoises from.


----------



## ALDABRAMAN (Aug 13, 2015)

MichaelaW said:


> I've communicated with two breeders over the phone from whom I purchased tortoises or am going to purchase tortoises from.



~ Isn't that wonderful when the actual breeder takes time and freely talks with customers!


----------



## MichaelaW (Aug 13, 2015)

ALDABRAMAN said:


> ~ Isn't that wonderful when the actual breeder takes time and freely talks with customers!


Definitely! It makes you so much more confident about purchasing from them. I would love to just talk with people on the phone about turtles and tortoises in general, not just with breeders. It would be cool to do some sort of Google+ hangout with a bunch of tfo members. I'm not sure how the Google hangout thing works though.


----------



## ALDABRAMAN (Aug 13, 2015)

MichaelaW said:


> Definitely! It makes you so much more confident about purchasing from them. I would love to just talk with people on the phone about turtles and tortoises in general, not just with breeders. It would be cool to do some sort of Google+ hangout with a bunch of tfo members. I'm not sure how the Google hangout thing works though.



~ Some forums have interactive chat rooms, is that like Google hangout?


----------



## jaizei (Aug 13, 2015)

ALDABRAMAN said:


> ~ Some forums have interactive chat rooms, is that like Google hangout?


----------



## Tidgy's Dad (Aug 13, 2015)

It seems that people are scared of using their telephones.
http://www.techradar.com/news/world...ice-workers-prefer-email-to-the-phone-1093873
I also think you can spend hours on the phone chatting,it's easier to go miles off topic, whereas emails allow you to stick to the subject more easily.


----------



## MichaelaW (Aug 13, 2015)

ALDABRAMAN said:


> ~ Some forums have interactive chat rooms, is that like Google hangout?


I think that's similar.


----------



## ascott (Aug 13, 2015)

tortadise said:


> Say wha? I love calling and talking with you, it's been too long though brotha! But to answer your question in my opinion. I think we have become less personal and directive in communication now days. Look at the social media, even the media in general, or the educational system. I have many children from Girl/Boy Scouts to high even college level students volunteer. One thing in common with all the variety of ages is they're very "reclusive" in a communicative manor. They complete tasks given, but fail to answer questions or small talk in a detailed compassionate responsive disposition. It's simple "yes" or "no" or even just a physical smirk, smile or laugh(pending the nature of conversation brought up by me.
> 
> When I was in south Texas visiting the property for the tortoise zoo to move. I went to dinner with the family and they had a 18 year old and a 14 year old. The entire time we were at dinner they were on the phone, and or just observing my explosive comical and tortoise nerd behavior. Like they have never heard or seen anyone talking or carrying on a conversation with physical movements and jokes and laughs and outright robust behavior. None was bad at all trust me of course.
> 
> ...



So much right on point...it is like now a dys when you speak to a young person and joke..they look at you with fear, like no idea of any way to communicate..it is horribly sad...Greg, I notice people shoot off a question quickly and are onto the next subject ..kinda kike they want yiu to take the time to answer but don't offer the same respect back to listen...??


----------



## ALDABRAMAN (Aug 14, 2015)

ascott said:


> So much right on point...it is like now a dys when you speak to a young person and joke..they look at you with fear, like no idea of any way to communicate..it is horribly sad...Greg, I notice people shoot off a question quickly and are onto the next subject ..kinda kike they want yiu to take the time to answer but don't offer the same respect back to listen...??



~ Even arguing directly can be fun, back in my college days they called it debating!


----------



## Gillian M (Aug 14, 2015)

ALDABRAMAN said:


> One thing to remember is anything you type in an e-mail is a permanent record and a phone conversation is a one time event!


That is true unless the conversation gets _taped _for any reason.


----------



## MichaelaW (Aug 14, 2015)

It could be that introverts are more comfortable communicating through email since they have more time to collect their thoughts, per one of the previous comments.


----------



## ALDABRAMAN (Aug 14, 2015)

I love the ones that are in a foreign language, I delete those!


----------



## Gillian M (Aug 14, 2015)

MichaelaW said:


> It could be that introverts are more comfortable communicating through email since they have more time to collect their thoughts, per one of the previous comments.


True: they have more time to think when writing/typing.


----------



## Gillian M (Aug 14, 2015)

ALDABRAMAN said:


> I love the ones that are in a foreign language, I delete those!


Me too.


----------



## Big Charlie (Aug 21, 2015)

If I'm trying to get advice about something, I'd much rather have it in writing. If I ask you during a phone call and I forget to write it down or lose the paper where I wrote it down, I might be reluctant to call you again to ask the same question. If I have it all written down, I can refer to it again and again. 

If I call someone to ask questions, even if I write them all down beforehand, because the conversation may go off on a tangent, I might forget to ask all the questions I wanted. Of course, sometimes going off on a tangent reminds me of questions I didn't know I had.

My husband would prefer to do everything over the phone. He doesn't know how to text or email. Long distance calls cost us on our landline phone. Not everyone has a free long distance phone plan.


----------



## Gillian M (Aug 21, 2015)

Big Charlie said:


> If I'm trying to get advice about something, I'd much rather have it in writing. If I ask you during a phone call and I forget to write it down or lose the paper where I wrote it down, I might be reluctant to call you again to ask the same question. If I have it all written down, I can refer to it again and again.
> 
> If I call someone to ask questions, even if I write them all down beforehand, because the conversation may go off on a tangent, I might forget to ask all the questions I wanted. Of course, sometimes going off on a tangent reminds me of questions I didn't know I had.
> 
> My husband would prefer to do everything over the phone. He doesn't know how to text or email. Long distance calls cost us on our landline phone. Not everyone has a free long distance phone plan.


True; long distance calls are not cheap for all of us. Here they are extremely expensive. I call those who are far rarely.


----------



## ALDABRAMAN (Aug 21, 2015)

Big Charlie said:


> My husband would prefer to do everything over the phone.



~ Do you think it might be a male -vs- female thing?


----------



## ALDABRAMAN (Aug 21, 2015)

Big Charlie said:


> Long distance calls cost us on our landline phone. Not everyone has a free long distance phone plan.



~ That is be a good point, i sometimes forget about the financially challenged!


----------



## ALDABRAMAN (Aug 21, 2015)

One thing that always comes into my mind immediately when someone won't talk on the phone and insist on communicating only thru e-mails or texting is scams. Last year I had a customer that the entire negotiation and transaction was by e-mails and not once any phone communications. I figured when he actually transferred the funding he was for real and shipped the baby to him without incident!


----------



## Big Charlie (Aug 21, 2015)

ALDABRAMAN said:


> ~ Do you think it might be a male -vs- female thing?


No, I don't think so. I know our son would prefer communicating by email or text. Of course, I think that is true of his entire generation.

Years ago, I took a class in types of learning. I am a visual learner. If I see something, I learn it best. My husband is an auditory learner - he learns best by hearing. I think that is one of the reasons he can't spell well. The exception for him is when we go to a restaurant and the waiter rattles off the specials - then he wants to see them written because he can't remember all of them.

If you think about it, forums are skewed to visual learners.


----------



## ALDABRAMAN (Aug 21, 2015)

Big Charlie said:


> If you think about it, forums are skewed to visual learners.



~ True, interesting thoughts!


----------



## Tidgy's Dad (Aug 25, 2015)

Sorry you that that there.
Most phone calls here are about 1 cent including international.
Never mind. Eh?


----------

