# Part of my road trip to Texass,



## Maggie Cummings (May 1, 2016)

(Don't read this if you expect it to be mostly clean) So I left close to my 30th sobriety date. For you that don't know this is my ride It's 26 yrs old with a new Corvette LT1 engine, 350 beefed up trans, and 4-11 rear. To quote a friend, "it's more like the space shuttle". He was talkin about his motorcycle....And once they are in a thread, I can't delete them, so meet Spot....too. I have all kind of hot rod stuff on it, but this is about Texass. So I take a 2month old Sulcata, a 2 yr old Sulcata And A Gopherus species. And my 28 pound long haired tuxedo cat.
I was also taking Blue Blue to live with Kelly. But I guess he's fallen in love with Kelly's brother Andy. I hope then that Andy takes him when he gets married. The whole place is like being in Costra Rica. Full of Ebony trees. I got caught shoving an Egyptian in my bra. My car was so packed I threw out my cooler with my Mt Dew and animal water.
So of course my new engine broke down. It was the smog pump that froze the pulley and broke my serpentine belt.
AAA says there's no tow truck with in 400 miles of you. Please be patient I'm looking. So it was 63 degrees, and 99% humidity. So the cat and tortoises were outside the car, we were all dying and even with my hood up and with the animals not one person stopped. So I flagged down a guy to give directions to where I was as my phone had died.
Southbound on the 77 at the 47 mile marker. Can't get any more specific than that. He couldn't find me. Do any of you understand those directions?
After 6 hours I finally got taken to a tire guy to fix my car....oh man. Then a motel, so I would walk between the motel and the shop. I was really keeping an eye on my car. But I continually had guys pulling over asking me how much a you know what it was. I finally said to one guy aren't you the least embarrassed that you are asking a 70 year old woman for a **? Anyway I finally got there. I'm going to take pix of the pix I had in a disposable camera. So Here's part. They will download but not print in a thread. They're pretty blurry anyhow. We had a ball, Mike and McEvil and I went to the sea turtle rescue, man they are beautiful. One came up to me and nobody was looking so I go to rub her face and she liked it. Damn just beautiful liquid eyes.
So I get to Kelly's and this dog named Bambi jumps on my hood then roof, after I got up off the ground where I had passed out, I tried to catch him and kill him, only they wouldn't let me. OMG! He jumped on my car....big no no.
Well, I'm going to work those pix for you. Maybe I can make them not blurry. But, bed time for me...I'll work on it tomorrow....


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## Pearly (May 2, 2016)

maggie3fan said:


> (Don't read this if you expect it to be mostly clean) So I left close to my 30th sobriety date. For you that don't know this is my ride It's 26 yrs old with a new Corvette LT1 engine, 350 beefed up trans, and 4-11 rear. To quote a friend, "it's more like the space shuttle". He was talkin about his motorcycle, zipperhead kind....And once they are in a thread, I can't delete them, so meet Spot....too. I have all kind of hot rod stuff on it, but this is about Texass. So I take a 2month old Sulcata, a 2 yr old Sulcata And A Gopherus species. And my 28 pound long haired tuxedo cat.
> I was also taking Blue Blue to live with Kelly. But I guess he's fallen in love with Kelly's brother Andy. I hope then that Andy takes him when he gets married. The whole place is like being in Costra Rica. Full of Ebony trees. I got caught shoving an Egyptian in my bra. My car was so packed I threw out my cooler with my Mt Dew and animal water.
> So of course my new engine broke down. It was the smog pump that froze the pulley and broke my serpentine belt.
> AAA says there's no tow truck with in 400 miles of you. Please be patient I'm looking. So it was 63 degrees, and 99% humidity. So the cat and tortoises were outside the car, we were all dying and even with my hood up and with the animals not one person stopped. So I flagged down a guy to give directions to where I was as my phone had died.
> ...


You gave me few good laughs Maggie. I see that you stay up late too. Hope you don't have to be up at crack of dawn


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## ZEROPILOT (May 2, 2016)

Do you still have emissions testing in Oregon?
Here you can get a retrofit belt kit and throw away the EGR pump and bracket.


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## Jacqui (May 2, 2016)

Maggie, I always love what you write. You always have me laughing.


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## Momof4 (May 2, 2016)

I'm happy everything worked in the end!! I was really worried about you when your car broke down! 

You are a good writer! I always loved your Bob's stories!


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## Team Gomberg (May 2, 2016)

What an ordeal!
.... And you didn't even mention the Texas desert tort drama..


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## Maggie Cummings (May 2, 2016)

Team Gomberg said:


> What an ordeal!
> .... And you didn't even mention the Texas desert tort drama..


That's next, remember in my story I just got there. He said I'd never find it, I was just one house away down a dusty dirty road. Cuz Kelly doesn't know what color his house is.....I didn't even think about washing my car, but I did spill wet cat food in it, yuck, so I cleaned the inside.


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## Jacqui (May 3, 2016)

...... is it time for the rest yet?


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## Kapidolo Farms (May 3, 2016)

You have that 'Hunter S. Thompson' thing down good.


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## Maggie Cummings (May 3, 2016)

ZEROPILOT said:


> Do you still have emissions testing in Oregon?
> Here you can get a retrofit belt kit and throw away the EGR pump and bracket.


Great idea.....


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## mike taylor (May 3, 2016)

Here are some pictures for your thread .Yes that's Maggie riding in a Ford truck an she enjoyed it . haha


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## Maggie Cummings (May 3, 2016)

So Kelly has a big building with inside pens with outside access. Really nice. But hot as h*ll. Some are up so they are for small guys who don't get to go out yet. I got to pet a MataMata. It's funny, I'd be all alone and touch or do something I wasn't supposed to do, and I got caught every damn time. And I'm a better crook than that, I think they were wise to me. So I got caught rubbing the Mata Mata's neck. Such an animal! Holy cow. But he liked his neck rub. He was probably 75-100 pounds, I think. So strange looking. So Kelly handed me a yearling Mata Mata, and he was cool, until he got tired of being held, so I dropped him in the water quickly. I got to see tortoises I had only read about. I really wanted an Egyptian, so as I was stuffing it into my bra, Janet took a picture of me. Caught again. I saw some strange Hingeback thing. Several I think. Aldabs of course, yearlings I think, active, social, cute and friendly. Maybe 3 yrs. Heck, I don't know.
Then there's the chiggers. Small arachnids, that make BIG hurts filled with pus.
Not one person could have told me not to wear sandals in the woods....but NOOOOO. The jerks
So I was up early as usual, so I walked over to an old homeless camp and cleaned it up. 2 or 3 hard hours of work, dirty diapers, beer cans, poop, tires. etc. So I stack the tires and haul the garbage back in a wheelbarrow. So the Mexican care keeper starts reading me off, in Mexican, so now I get the jest, so I am also yelling at him. We've got this big Mexican, American yelling argument, nether really understanding the other. So I say"I did all this work", and waved my hand over the garbage, and he points at me and says, "Too much garbage" Turns out it's hard for them to get rid of garbage....hahaha I thought I was helping. 
Then MIke and McEvil and I went to the sea turtle rescue, told you about that, then we walked out on a pier thing into the Gulf. It was windy as hell, but not cold. That was seriously impressive. Mike is so much funnier in person then he is on here. And good looking with a great body. But he's married to a woman he loves very much, so I was simply describing him. I do think I must have drooled on the keys, they're wet....
Kelly broke a promise to me, I did not get any homemade tortillas. His mom Jan lives in a beautiful tiny house Kelly built for her. Slate counters, great bathroom sink, enough room. Very Comfortable, tiger striped bamboo floors. That's what I want. Big enclosed deck. Just so nice.
Then Mike took to shooting birds, killed the first one and the rest took off. Some kind of invasive bird, Jan knows what they are. But nobody else hit any.
We went out to eat someplace where the cheesecake was to die for.
Guess I'll end this part, I don't feel funny, even tho I included sex, violence, drama, arguing. All in 3 paragraphs....ha!
More tomorrow. I'm hoping to get the other disposable camera from Jan with better pictures. Can you believe I took the road trip of a lifetime and forgot my camera????


mike taylor said:


> Here are some pictures for your thread .Yes that's Maggie riding in a Ford truck an she enjoyed it . haha


Thanks MIke!!! They'da never known if you hadn't snitched me off.....


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## mike taylor (May 4, 2016)

That's what I'm here for to help and snitch you off . hahaha


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## ZEROPILOT (May 4, 2016)

Very nice and enjoyable trip.
It sounds great.


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## mike taylor (May 4, 2016)

It's Texas Maggie . Just one s is all you need . haha


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## Maggie Cummings (May 4, 2016)

One snitch? I don't understand....


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## jaizei (May 4, 2016)

maggie3fan said:


> One snitch? I don't understand....



1 s Texas


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## Yvonne G (May 4, 2016)

She's spelling it that way on purpose.


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## Maggie Cummings (May 4, 2016)

Tex as* as proved by Homeland Security.....


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## mike taylor (May 5, 2016)

Yvonne G said:


> She's spelling it that way on purpose.


We know she is . That's Maggie for you trying to sneak something by you . hahaha


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## Maggie Cummings (May 5, 2016)

My cat and I were arrested leaving Texas, into New Mexico because I couldn't prove the deformed box turtles, the Sulcata, the Gopherus agassizii, I couldn't prove any of them were not Texas Tortoises, tiny deformed box turtles!!!! So my cat and I were arrested, then they tore apart my car, finding a small amount of Oregon's legal product. It took 2 hours for me to repack my car. Jerks. We were arrested for 6 hours. So that put me behind. Then I just missed the big storms, hailstones big as baseballs. I missed them by minutes. It was so darned windy, my little car kept blowing off the road. Scary, as fast as I was going to beat the storm. When I got to Deming I pulled under an overpass, and slept it out. The cat was so scared from the noise, hail, thunder, big trucks, she laid her full 28 pounds on my chest and hid her face in my hair. Poor Maks. An in house only cat and she was really afraid. So I wrapped her in a DE throw, and held her while I slept. We slept until the storm was over. A big truck came and pulled right next to my car to protect me, that was cool. Blocked all the wind and hail. Protected my car! Californians, and PNWesterners who have never left the state miss out on some fantastic storms in other states, exhilaration and fear both.


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## Yvonne G (May 5, 2016)

You wrapped your poor cat in *d*iatomaceous *e*arth?


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## Team Gomberg (May 5, 2016)

DE ...Dale Earhart (if that's his name...the race car guy!) was my guess...


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## Yvonne G (May 5, 2016)

Team Gomberg said:


> DE ...Dale Earhart (if that's his name...the race car guy!) was my guess...



I know. I was pulling her chain.


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## tortadise (May 5, 2016)

Well it was a pleasure having you down Maggie. Baby blue is loving it. He's outside everyday and loving life.


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## Team Gomberg (May 5, 2016)

Yvonne G said:


> I know. I was pulling her chain.


Oh... Hahahaha


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## Jacqui (May 5, 2016)

How did they happen to even check out your car?


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## Momof4 (May 5, 2016)

tortadise said:


> Well it was a pleasure having you down Maggie. Baby blue is loving it. He's outside everyday and loving life.




Kelly we need a pic of him outside! 
Is he in a big aviary?


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## ZEROPILOT (May 5, 2016)

This has become quite an adventure


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## jaizei (May 5, 2016)

Jacqui said:


> How did they happen to even check out your car?



I wonder.


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## Prairie Mom (May 5, 2016)

Jacqui said:


> How did they happen to even check out your car?


I'm wondering too!


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## Prairie Mom (May 5, 2016)

MAN! This thread is too much! Too good to be true!!!!    

Love hearing your view on everything and everyone, Maggie! The stalker in me is desperate for you to post as many photos as possible! More! More! More!


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## tortadise (May 6, 2016)

Momof4 said:


> Kelly we need a pic of him outside!
> Is he in a big aviary?


Certainly. If I remember of course. Haha I always get so busy. But I'm so for a new round of photos next time I'm down there.


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## tortadise (May 6, 2016)

Well the way it works down there is each route has a border check controlled by the United States department of honeland security and US customs. They check every car, truck, any body going through. It's random which car they select to inspect on the side. Obviously desert tortoises somewhat resemble similarities as Texas tortoises, which are highly protected in the region and state.


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## Maggie Cummings (May 6, 2016)

And the damn dog.....


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## mike taylor (May 6, 2016)

Can't forget about them damn dogs . I know I had a fun few days hanging out with Janet,Maggie, and Kelly . But I had great nights with McEvil .hahaha


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## Yvonne G (May 6, 2016)

mike taylor said:


> Can't forget about them damn dogs . I know I had a fun few days hanging out with Janet,Maggie, and Kelly . But I had great nights with McEvil .hahaha



I may be wrong, but I thought she meant the drug sniffing dog at the border.


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## mike taylor (May 6, 2016)

I don't know wasn't with her on that .


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## tortadise (May 6, 2016)

Yvonne G said:


> I may be wrong, but I thought she meant the drug sniffing dog at the border.


Those dogs can smell all sorts of things. Fantastic "personelle" as they call them. Belgian malenoise(spelling?) but yeah. Like little German shepherds that are awesome.


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## mike taylor (May 7, 2016)

Dogs can be amazing animals . You can't fool the dog but you can fool the handler .


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## Maggie Cummings (May 8, 2016)

it was the dog. He nailed me when I was still 6 cars back and 2 rows over. He jumped up on my door, window was down, cat came unglued, and bopped him on the nose. Cop said he was going to charge my cat with attacking a police officer. I laughed so hard he couldn't do it.I was so proud of Maks, she made him bleed. Paybacks are a b****. Whoops, wrong kinda dog.....tee hee


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