# The worst month of my life.



## Stephanie (Sep 25, 2011)

Hello all. I haven't been on here much because last month, on August 27th, my mother passed away suddenly. 
No one on here really knows me well enough to know this, but my mother truly was my best friend. I spent everyday with her, called her/texted if we weren't around...it was devastating to me. 

From that moment on, things have been going downhill to put it mildly. The culmination, my last straw, was the sudden passing of Piglet today. I am hoping someone may have an idea as to what could have happened. 

He was lethargic in the morning, and I decided to give him a baby food soak (carrot) to see if I could rouse his appetite. I was dropping my husband off at work, and the carrot gerber was on sale for $0.45, so I thought why not? He ALWAYS eats in the mornings, and I honestly thought this could not hurt because the nutrients are good anyway, right? He had not been in the sun for the past two days, so this would make up for it, I hoped. 
Unfortunately, that did not do the trick. Quite the opposite. He passed away moments after the start of the soak. I was stunned. In all honestly, I actually set him in his outdoor enclosure for a good 20 minutes because I could not even believe he could have passed away so quickly. 

If anyone has any idea on what could have happened PLEASE let me know. A sudden death such as this does not seem common, and it was very shocking and devastating to say the very least. 

The last thing he ate was watermelon yesterday. The temps were between 78 (cool) and about 83-85 (warm). He was kept very humid, but that is normal for this type of tortoise (and possibly for most others, but I understand that that is a debatable topic for some). He drank plenty of water everyday. One thing I will say, which was weird, was right before *I* went to sleep last night (around 1 am), he kept opening his mouth (like yawning). There were no bubbles, however, and no wheezing. 

Thank you in advance for any information you guys can give me. 

I put this into the off-topic section because of my mentioning my mom's passing. I was going to mention a lot more, but I don't feel I should burden anyone with reading my other woes. I fully understand if a mod wants to move this.


----------



## babylove6635 (Sep 25, 2011)

im so sorry for your losses ill bet it has all been overwelming for you. i dont have the answer for you but i did want to say i do under stand the loss you must be feeling. and i prey for you to heel. judy


----------



## Stephanie (Sep 25, 2011)

babylove6635 said:


> im so sorry for your losses ill bet it has all been overwelming for you. i dont have the answer for you but i did want to say i do under stand the loss you must be feeling. and i prey for you to heel. judy



Thank you kindly, Judy. 
The only thing I can take away from this, is that (my personal belief) my mom has Piglet with her now. She adored him (though she called Piglet a girl...it was a bet we had going...). 
Thank you again


----------



## dmmj (Sep 25, 2011)

It does not sound like you did anything wrong, the only thing I can point at is the yawning, but that is not always a sign of an illness. I am always concerned when a tortoise stops eating, has the appetite always been weak? or did this start a little while ago? Condolences for your mom and tortoise.


----------



## Missy (Sep 25, 2011)

I am sorry for your losses. I will keep you in my prayers.


----------



## Stephanie (Sep 25, 2011)

dmmj said:


> It does not sound like you did anything wrong, the only thing I can point at is the yawning, but that is not always a sign of an illness. I am always concerned when a tortoise stops eating, has the appetite always been weak? or did this start a little while ago? Condolences for your mom and tortoise.



I assumed his appetite was just fine for his size, but maybe I wrong this entire time? This morning was the first time that he literally ate nothing (and refused to drink, too, which was even worse because he LOVED water). 
On a normal fruit day, he could eat almost an entire strawberry no problem. He might even had a dandelion after that if he was just grazing around. 



Missy said:


> I am sorry for your losses. I will keep you in my prayers.



Thank you kindly


----------



## Yvonne G (Sep 25, 2011)

Hi Stephanie:

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Its terrible to lose someone that close to you. I appreciate your thought about Piglet being with your mother. I like that. But you'll never know if she won the bet. 

I think what you saw as yawning was actually gasping for breath. Piglet may have had something stuck in his throat, or maybe he had a respiratory infection that you weren't able to see because of hidden symptoms. The only way to know why he died is through a necropsy. But the open mouth you saw is a good symptom that something was wrong.

That's just such bad news. I'm so sorry.


----------



## Stephanie (Sep 25, 2011)

emysemys said:


> Hi Stephanie:
> 
> I'm so very sorry for your loss. Its terrible to lose someone that close to you. I appreciate your thought about Piglet being with your mother. I like that. But you'll never know if she won the bet.
> 
> ...



I'm going to still call him a boy. It will take decades (knock on wood) for me to find out! =P 

Yvonne I was worried about the infection possibility, but why the heck did I only see it last night? He drank water after that, but I was still concerned. I feel like I really let Piglet down. The yawning really freaked me out, and the when he didn't eat this morning I thought a trip to the vet was imminent if the Gerber did not work. 
I did not think he would pass away, though...I'm just so confused. I'm angry, too.


----------



## chase thorn (Sep 25, 2011)

im so sorry for your losses


----------



## Calamala (Sep 25, 2011)

I can not give you any suggestions on your Piglet, but I just wanted to say how very sorry I am for your loss. I lost my father to a car accident a little over three years ago. We too were very close, we worked a retail store together for 10 years, we were next door neighbors, and he ate dinner with me and the family 5+ nights a week. The morning he died we planned grouper dinner and by dinner time he was gone. My whole life flipped upside down and I broke. To this day I miss him just as much as the first week, BUT....it is different kind of emotions. I can now talk about him with great joy and remembrance, and not cry. I can look at his pictures and smile. So as cliche' as it sounds I promise you...IT DOES GET BETTER!!! Again I am so sorry for your loss, as I know all to well how it feels to loose your best pet as well.


----------



## DixieParadise (Sep 25, 2011)

Stephanie, I am so sorry for your loss. I know what it is to have a close family member be your best friend. And lose that person. I also know what it is to love a pet just as a family member and lose that pet. 

I don't think you did anything wrong. You saw the problem and you were trying to help. It just didn't work out this time. Don't beat yourself up and ask why...because we may never know why.


----------



## Turtle Guru (Sep 25, 2011)

I'm sorry for your losses, and I will and have Prayed for you the LORD is always their for you, I wanted to let you know that. Sorry again.


----------



## Claireabbo (Sep 25, 2011)

im sooo sorry for your losses! if you ever need anyone to talk to i will be here and im sure everyone else on here would too. i cant answer your question im sorry...


----------



## terryo (Sep 25, 2011)

I am so sorry about your little tortoise. Sometimes these things happen and we just never will know why.
I know how you must feel loosing your Mom. I too lost my best friend in all the world. My son. Someone sent me a mass card and wrote this to me, and it helped me, so I hope it helps you too.
"You'll never get over it. It's never going to be OK, and once you accept that you realize you never want to get over it. Just kind of let it sit with you and let it be a part of who you are now." 
The only thing I can say is that time will never heal your loss, but soon it will be a little easier to accept. Hugs....


----------



## Maggie Cummings (Sep 25, 2011)

That's just awful and you have my condolences. It sounds to me like he was gasping for air, did the watermelon have seeds? I can't remember if Piglet is big or small but could he have choked on a seed? I'm just real sorry, I certainly know how confusing and angry that would make you. I really know how you feel...


----------



## Lulu (Sep 25, 2011)

I am very sorry for your losses. I hope that you do not question yourself too much about Piglet. I do not think I would have done anything differently, and sometimes these things happen and there is nothing we can do to prevent them.

I am also very close to my mother, and I cannot imagine losing her. My condolences.


----------



## RV's mom (Sep 25, 2011)

my deepest sympathy for the passing of your mom, and now the added burden of losing Piglet. When my mom died, I wanted to die also. I never knew depression could be so deep. It takes a long time, but it does get easier.... Please continue to post here - we are all here for you.

My prayers and hugs for you and your family. I'm sorry I cannot add any info regarding Piglet.


----------



## lynnedit (Sep 25, 2011)

You have been through unbearable losses. Piglet died so suddenly, you can't blame yourself. You simply did not have time to do anything else.
So sorry to hear about your Mom.


----------



## Torty Mom (Sep 25, 2011)

I am so sorry for the loss of your Mother, losing a parent is so hard. We are here for you and don't mind if you cry on our shoulders, that what friends are for! {{{{HUGS}}}}


----------



## SulcataSquirt (Sep 26, 2011)

I know you've heard it over and over - but I too am sorry for both of your losses. I can only imagine how it feels to lose two close family members in the same month. Pets become family. Don't spend your days dwelling wondering how it could of happened - but like you said, know that Piglet is in good hands with your mother. I hope that things will begin to look up for you and that your family, husband, can help you through it all.
-C


----------



## Tom (Sep 26, 2011)

... I never have the words in these situations.

My heart goes out to you and yours. I wish you nothing but the best from here on.


----------



## Momof4 (Sep 26, 2011)

Awwww sweetie, I'm so sorry you lost your mom/best friend. I completely understand how it feels to lose your mom. My mom was taken from me 3 years ago from breast cancer. We were 19 yrs apart and very close as you and your mom were. I promise you, it does get better.
I know it feels like it won't but it will in time. I hope you have support from your family and friends. 
Don't be afraid to see a doctor if you feel the need. There are wonderful meds that will help you through this heartbreaking time. Just know your mom is in a wonderful place.
oxoxoxoxoxo


----------



## DesertGrandma (Sep 26, 2011)

Stephanie if I could I would give you a big hug. Life isn't always good to us. Just know that your mom is still watching over you and guiding you, and does have Piglet in her hand.


----------



## Angi (Sep 26, 2011)

I am so sorry. I just do not have the words to say how bad I feel for you.


----------



## Momof4 (Sep 28, 2011)

Stephanie how are you doing sweetie? I have been thinking about you!! We're all here if you want to vent!
oxoxoxoxo


----------



## 81SHOVELHEAD (Sep 28, 2011)

Stephanie 
So sorry to here about your lost of your Mom & Piglet .
If there is anything we can do the TFO family is here for you .
Will keep you in my Prayers .
Stay strong it will get better i promise you.
Mike D.


----------



## FranklinTturtle (Sep 28, 2011)

Sorry about your mom and your Piglet.


----------



## Stephanie (Sep 28, 2011)

Wow, I can't even begin to say how overwhelmed I feel at the support from my fellow TFOers...this is going to be a long post because I really wanted to thank each of you individually. As silly as it sounds, this is the first time in weeks that I have felt a little better about everything that has happened. It's one thing to hear condolences from family and (supposed) family friends, but to hear kindess from people who don't even know me...I don't even have the proper words to say thank you. 



chase thorn said:


> im so sorry for your losses



Thank you kindly, Chase



Calamala said:


> I can not give you any suggestions on your Piglet, but I just wanted to say how very sorry I am for your loss. I lost my father to a car accident a little over three years ago. We too were very close, we worked a retail store together for 10 years, we were next door neighbors, and he ate dinner with me and the family 5+ nights a week. The morning he died we planned grouper dinner and by dinner time he was gone. My whole life flipped upside down and I broke. To this day I miss him just as much as the first week, BUT....it is different kind of emotions. I can now talk about him with great joy and remembrance, and not cry. I can look at his pictures and smile. So as cliche' as it sounds I promise you...IT DOES GET BETTER!!! Again I am so sorry for your loss, as I know all to well how it feels to loose your best pet as well.



Thank you kindly, and I am so sorry about your father...that's truly awful. I am looking forward to the day that I can look at her pictures and smile, and if luck will present itself, that day will come sooner rather than later



DixieParadise said:


> Stephanie, I am so sorry for your loss. I know what it is to have a close family member be your best friend. And lose that person. I also know what it is to love a pet just as a family member and lose that pet.
> 
> I don't think you did anything wrong. You saw the problem and you were trying to help. It just didn't work out this time. Don't beat yourself up and ask why...because we may never know why.



Thank you kindly
I am not sure what happened to Piglet, but I am slowly excepting that "stuff" happens sometimes...
I don't think it's fair, and I'm angered that it remains a mystery, but I am comforted with knowing that I myself (to the best of my knowledge) did not do anything to exacerbate his condition 



Turtle Guru said:


> I'm sorry for your losses, and I will and have Prayed for you the LORD is always their for you, I wanted to let you know that. Sorry again.



Thank you kindly, and thank you for your prayer. I'd prefer the lord be with my mother, which I am sure He is ...



Claireabbo said:


> im sooo sorry for your losses! if you ever need anyone to talk to i will be here and im sure everyone else on here would too. i cant answer your question im sorry...



Thank you kindly, Claire, and no worries about the question regarding Piglet- I understand as I myself do not have a solid answer



terryo said:


> I am so sorry about your little tortoise. Sometimes these things happen and we just never will know why.
> I know how you must feel loosing your Mom. I too lost my best friend in all the world. My son. Someone sent me a mass card and wrote this to me, and it helped me, so I hope it helps you too.
> "You'll never get over it. It's never going to be OK, and once you accept that you realize you never want to get over it. Just kind of let it sit with you and let it be a part of who you are now."
> The only thing I can say is that time will never heal your loss, but soon it will be a little easier to accept. Hugs....



Terry, I do not have the proper words to say how sorry I am for the loss of your son. That quote is SO helpful though, even comforting. It made me feel like a weight was being lifted off of my shoulders. I have been just waiting for time to make it better, but in some ways it has just made it worse and more real. School started, and my lunch buddy wasn't there (she worked right near my campus). I'm taking English and she was an English major...Psychology and she almost minored in that...it just seems like every little thing reminds me of her. The worst thing, I must say, is seeing other girls my age be rude to their mothers. It makes me see red (though I logically know their rudeness may be warranted in some cases, emotionally I cannot watch it). 
Thank you for the hugs...I send many your way, too! 



maggie3fan said:


> That's just awful and you have my condolences. It sounds to me like he was gasping for air, did the watermelon have seeds? I can't remember if Piglet is big or small but could he have choked on a seed? I'm just real sorry, I certainly know how confusing and angry that would make you. I really know how you feel...



The watermelon had those thin white seeds, but I took them out (I had to cut it up for him; Piglet was a tiny little guy). Maybe I missed one...if that's the case, I'm glad I don't know, because I wouldn't forgive myself. 
Thank you kindly for the idea, Maggie. It's a good theory...



Lulu said:


> I am very sorry for your losses. I hope that you do not question yourself too much about Piglet. I do not think I would have done anything differently, and sometimes these things happen and there is nothing we can do to prevent them.
> 
> I am also very close to my mother, and I cannot imagine losing her. My condolences.



Thank you kindly, and that made me smile to hear how close you are to your mother. I'm sure you will not have to deal with that for decades to come. Thank you again 



sharkstar said:


> my deepest sympathy for the passing of your mom, and now the added burden of losing Piglet. When my mom died, I wanted to die also. I never knew depression could be so deep. It takes a long time, but it does get easier.... Please continue to post here - we are all here for you.
> 
> My prayers and hugs for you and your family. I'm sorry I cannot add any info regarding Piglet.



Thank you kindly; I am going to post as much as possible. I honestly, again, just am overwhelmed by the kindess everyone has shown me. My mom and I always told each other how much we loved each other and how we couldn't bear the idea of losing the other...I, too, wanted nothing more than to go with her. I realize I can't, but I can definitely share those feelings of depression...
Thank you kindly for the hugs and prayers



lynnedit said:


> You have been through unbearable losses. Piglet died so suddenly, you can't blame yourself. You simply did not have time to do anything else.
> So sorry to hear about your Mom.



Thank you kindly; I just wish I knew what happened to Piglet. Some things in life just have to remain a mystery, I suppose



Torty Mom said:


> I am so sorry for the loss of your Mother, losing a parent is so hard. We are here for you and don't mind if you cry on our shoulders, that what friends are for! {{{{HUGS}}}}



Thank you kindly, and thank you even more for the hugs. I send hugs, too
You guys truly are a great comfort. I know I've said it already, but I cannot thank everyone enough



SulcataSquirt said:


> I know you've heard it over and over - but I too am sorry for both of your losses. I can only imagine how it feels to lose two close family members in the same month. Pets become family. Don't spend your days dwelling wondering how it could of happened - but like you said, know that Piglet is in good hands with your mother. I hope that things will begin to look up for you and that your family, husband, can help you through it all.
> -C



I agree with pets being family. I am comforted with Piglet being with my mother...that's what I am holding onto the most. If I can't figure out what caused Piglet's sudden departure, I can at least keep solace with the idea of Piglet being in the hands of someone who loved him as much as I did. 
Thank you kindly 



Tom said:


> ... I never have the words in these situations.
> 
> My heart goes out to you and yours. I wish you nothing but the best from here on.



Thank you kindly, Tom. Thank you kindly for the well wishes 



Momof4 said:


> Awwww sweetie, I'm so sorry you lost your mom/best friend. I completely understand how it feels to lose your mom. My mom was taken from me 3 years ago from breast cancer. We were 19 yrs apart and very close as you and your mom were. I promise you, it does get better.
> I know it feels like it won't but it will in time. I hope you have support from your family and friends.
> Don't be afraid to see a doctor if you feel the need. There are wonderful meds that will help you through this heartbreaking time. Just know your mom is in a wonderful place.
> oxoxoxoxoxo



I'm so sorry about the loss of your mother. It makes me smile to know she has a daughter that is as kind as you are. Maybe her and my mom can swap stories while checking in on us from time to time..I am comforted by the idea that my mother is in a wonderful place
Thank you kindly for sharing that with me



DesertGrandma said:


> Stephanie if I could I would give you a big hug. Life isn't always good to us. Just know that your mom is still watching over you and guiding you, and does have Piglet in her hand.



Thank you kindly, and thank you for the hug. Just reading about hugs is more than enough...and I hope she can watch over me, otherwise I feel pretty silly for just kinda telling things to the air..I'm sure she hears me one way or another..



Angi said:


> I am so sorry. I just do not have the words to say how bad I feel for you.



Thank you kindly; please don't worry about finding the right words, your post meant a lot to me, thank you again 



Momof4 said:


> Stephanie how are you doing sweetie? I have been thinking about you!! We're all here if you want to vent!
> oxoxoxoxo



This week has been hectic; I won't bore anyone with details. I feel bad that I haven't been able to post until now. Thank you kindly for keeping me in your thoughts! 



81SHOVELHEAD said:


> Stephanie
> So sorry to here about your lost of your Mom & Piglet .
> If there is anything we can do the TFO family is here for you .
> Will keep you in my Prayers .
> ...



Thank you kindly for keeping me in your prayers, Mike. It is really appreciated 



FranklinTturtle said:


> Sorry about your mom and your Piglet.



Thank you kindly 


I hope I got everyone..I'm so sorry it took me so long to reply, but I thank you all for the great responses. The warmth I feel is wonderful..it's a beam of light in a dark time


----------



## SulcataSquirt (Sep 28, 2011)

Don't apologize - you are allowed to take all the time you need. Just glad to see you are still here and posting with us and didn't just run away.


----------



## Stephanie (Sep 29, 2011)

SulcataSquirt said:


> Don't apologize - you are allowed to take all the time you need. Just glad to see you are still here and posting with us and didn't just run away.



I have a problem with lurking on my phone, but I'm trying to slowly get back into the swing of things..


----------

