# Lawyer Jokes



## richalisoviejo (May 23, 2009)

I always like a good lawyer joke. 

How many personal injury attorneys does it take to change a light bulb? 

How many can you afford? 
Three - one to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company.


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## Isa (May 23, 2009)

haha Really funny Rich 
Thanks for sharing.


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## purpod (May 23, 2009)

lol, I'll have to send that one on to my Sweetheart ~ hopefully he will think it's funny too ~

Thanx,
Purpod


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## desertsss (May 24, 2009)

A client who felt his legal bill was a bit too high asked his attorney for an itemization of costs.

I was walking down the street and saw you on the other side...
I walked to the corner to cross at the street....
I walked very quickly to catch up with you....
I got close and saw it wasn't you. $100.00

stupid...I know..lol


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## Isa (May 24, 2009)

desertsss said:


> A client who felt his legal bill was a bit too high asked his attorney for an itemization of costs.
> 
> I was walking down the street and saw you on the other side...
> I walked to the corner to cross at the street....
> ...



Haha Funny 
Thanks for sharing.


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## bettinge (May 24, 2009)

A guy stands up in a bar and yells out "All lawyers are A-Holes". 

Another guy stands up and says "I resent that"

The first guy says "are you a lawyer?"

Second guy says "No, I'm an A-Hole!"


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## Candy (May 24, 2009)

bettinge said:


> A guy stands up in a bar and yells out "All lawyers are A-Holes".
> 
> Another guy stands up and says "I resent that"
> 
> ...


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## BigBiscuit (May 24, 2009)

Q: What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a harley?

A: The vacuum has the dirtbag on the inside.


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## Candy (May 24, 2009)

Candy said:


> bettinge said:
> 
> 
> > A guy stands up in a bar and yells out "All lawyers are A-Holes".
> ...


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## BigBiscuit (May 24, 2009)

Q: What's the difference between a carp and a lawyer?

A: One is a slimy, bottom feeder, and the other is a fish.


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## purpod (May 27, 2009)

LOL to all for their contributions too ~ 

Candy, I'm pretty sure that he started the lawyer jokes, and altho I may be wrong, I don't think he is offended by the lawyer jokes here ~

Have a good one,
Purpod


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## galvinkaos (May 28, 2009)

What do you call 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

________________________

A good start.

Sorry old joke but one I remember. I actually like lawyers. Until I get the bill. Belated welcome back Rich.

Dawna


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## Candy (May 28, 2009)

BigBiscuit said:


> Q: What's the difference between a carp and a lawyer?
> 
> A: One is a slimy, bottom feeder, and the other is a fish.



O.K. then Purpod you're probably right so I have to say that I LOVE THIS JOKE!


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## MichaelRoger (Jun 8, 2009)

A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.
"Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client.
"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"
"Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?"
"Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?" 

personal injury lawyer


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## desertsss (Jun 8, 2009)

MichaelRoger said:


> A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.
> "Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client.
> "Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"
> "Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?"
> ...



lol MichaelRoger and welcome to the forum!!


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## purpod (Jun 8, 2009)

LOL, Candy! You know the funny part? My better half is a lawyer ~ lol ~ 

And 'good one', MR ~ and yes, welcome to TFO

Smiles to all!


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## richalisoviejo (Jun 9, 2009)

I love a good lawyer joke heck I know a few lawyers that are jokes. LOL. And Purpod what type of law does your husband practice?


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## purpod (Jun 9, 2009)

Greetings Counselor,

Ah, the first joke is that he is not my husband, lol, but surely, he _is_ my better half! For 20 some years he was strictly practicing Environmental Law, however with the current economy, he is slowly diversifying. 

And yes, I did not think you were opposed to the lawyer jokes; thankfully you have as good sense of humor!

Be well ~
Purpod



richalisoviejo said:



> I love a good lawyer joke heck I know a few lawyers that are jokes. LOL. And Purpod what type of law does your husband practice?


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## richalisoviejo (Jun 11, 2009)

A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.
"Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client.
"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $350 to answer three questions!"
"Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?"
"Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"


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## Candy (Jun 11, 2009)

Sorry Rich, but that one was already posted on page 1 by MichaelRoger, but still a good joke.


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## richalisoviejo (Jun 11, 2009)

Candy said:


> Sorry Rich, but that one was already posted on page 1 by MichaelRoger, but still a good joke.



 I must have missed that one :shy:


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