# off on the wrong foot



## John (Nov 1, 2010)

I apologize if i rubbed you all the wrong way just too be clear the questions i ask are not pulled from the sky, asking here is part of researching things ive read either here or somewhere else. i spent quite ahwile watching this forum before i joined there is definately a lot of knowledge here and i am greatful for all your responses. thanks again john


----------



## Greg T (Nov 1, 2010)

Sometimes it is difficult to truly read emotions into what people write in words. Don't worry about it and just keep asking questions. If someone really is upset at what a person writes, they will usually just not respond. Good luck with your tort adventure.


----------



## Maggie Cummings (Nov 1, 2010)

It's not your questions John that's personally rubbed ME the wrong way. It's you arguing with the responses you get. You know nothing and yet you argue with everything. I actually thought you were a young kid and so those were the book titles I offered to you. And I got back a snotty response from you. I am truly sorry if I misunderstood you but I am at the point of not responding to your questions anymore. I've answered you politely using my years of experience as far as the betedine scrubs and other questions and yet you argued with me and others.


----------



## John (Nov 1, 2010)

maggie3fan said:


> It's not your questions John that's personally rubbed ME the wrong way. It's you arguing with the responses you get. You know nothing and yet you argue with everything. I actually thought you were a young kid and so those were the book titles I offered to you. And I got back a snotty response from you. I am truly sorry if I misunderstood you but I am at the point of not responding to your questions anymore. I've answered you politely using my years of experience as far as the betedine scrubs and other questions and yet you argued with me and others.



how can you judge that i know nothing you should check your statements before u judge others before your attack on me and the wct i said nothing too warrant your snotty comments im just looking for opinions on things ive read im not promoting anything

for the record too all of you i do not feel i am arguing with anyone alot of whats out there is opinion you may have yours but someone else may have a different one as i said i take it all in and go with what makes sense too me maggie you stand on a soap box an talk as is im inferior too you so you are hard too take you may have alot of knowledge and i would be greatful too hear it but i dont know your backround and i dont take anything said as the absolute bottom line i think for myself as in the betadine emyseemys was wrong about the article no big deal


----------



## Yvonne G (Nov 1, 2010)

squamata said:


> how can you judge that i know nothing you should check your statements before u judge others before your attack on me and the wct i said nothing too warrant your snotty comments im just looking for opinions on things ive read im not promoting anything



In your very first, introductory post, you told us that you were new to tortoises. That implied that you don't know much, if anything. 

We're not here to make judgments on what folks know or don't know. We just want to get together and share our knowledge. We have such a wide range of members here that we get information from folks all over the world on how to care for turtles and tortoises. 

Most of what you read on the 'net is outdated. Tortoise-keeping is changing and forums like this one help to get the new info out to the rest of us. I'm not discounting what you read on the WCT site. It is good stuff, however, it hasn't been updated, so most of it isn't current. You have to balance the old with the new, and work it out to fit your situation.

Getting "off on the wrong foot" happens frequently with new folks. But hopefully, it changes as you get to know us and as we get to know you. I'm looking forward to watching your babies grow and I hope you will continue to share your pictures with us.


----------



## Maggie Cummings (Nov 1, 2010)

You said in your very first post that you were new to torts, that gives me the impression that you know nothing about them. You said it yourself. No place will you find a snotty comment from me to you. I tried to help you when you asked for advice. I used my years of experience to give you decent replies to your questions. I thought you were a kid that's why I offered the book titles that I did. You type like a kid, so that's what I thought. No place have I attacked you. I think from now on I will let others respond to your posts and I will ignore them. Frankly, bud, it's you who has insulted me personally. You don't know me and don't know anything about me and my background is none of your business.
I cannot believe you said that emysemys was wrong... Misty has not posted anything recently that has been updated. 

I have been a member of the WCT for years so I personally know that nothing there has been updated. They are posting all old fashioned beliefs. What you don't know is all of us in the tortoise community know each other.


----------



## PeanutbuttER (Nov 1, 2010)

squamata said:


> ... i think for myself as in the betadine emyseemys was wrong about the article no big deal



She may have been wrong about the article, but wasn't she still right about the betadine? Which is more important?

Even if you disagree with someone's response, please remember that that person did take the time to give you an answer. Sometimes we even research the answer for you instead of talking out of personal experience. There's no reason to be demeaning, everyone's just trying their best to help and share what they know.


----------



## dmmj (Nov 1, 2010)

we offer advice on here, take it, don't take it, it is your choice, I don't think anyone is holding a gun to your head. I personally would not do a betadine scrub once a month (even a weak one) unless my tort had some type of problem that needed it, like shell rot, fungus problem.


----------



## stells (Nov 1, 2010)

No question should be thought of as a stupid one... if you don't ask... you won't learn... to people who don't like it... ignore the posts... its simple... someone else will always reply...

It seems that sometimes with this forum you have to prove yourself before you are accepted... and only some people can be arguementative... while others can't... 

Stick with it and ask your questions...


----------



## Yvonne G (Nov 1, 2010)

stells said:


> It seems that sometimes with this forum you have to prove yourself before you are accepted... and only some people can be arguementative... while others can't...
> 
> Stick with it and ask your questions...



Oh, lordy, lordy...please don't tell me that we're getting to be snobs here on the forum. I'll have to try harder to be more open-minded. Thanks for the knock on the knoggin!


----------



## PeanutbuttER (Nov 1, 2010)

stells said:


> No question should be thought of as a stupid one... if you don't ask... you won't learn... to people who don't like it... ignore the posts... its simple... someone else will always reply...



Nobody has any problems with his questions that I am aware of. Its the way he blew off sound advice and acted as if he already knew the answer and just wanted someone to agree with him. 

squamata- I don't think you're asking dumb questions. As far as I can tell, nobody thinks you're inferior in any way. They just don't agree with the way you're accepting the advice. I'm sure that you have as much to share with us as we have to share with you.


----------



## Madkins007 (Nov 1, 2010)

squamata said:


> maggie3fan said:
> 
> 
> > It's not your questions John that's personally rubbed ME the wrong way. It's you arguing with the responses you get. You know nothing and yet you argue with everything. I actually thought you were a young kid and so those were the book titles I offered to you. And I got back a snotty response from you. I am truly sorry if I misunderstood you but I am at the point of not responding to your questions anymore. I've answered you politely using my years of experience as far as the betedine scrubs and other questions and yet you argued with me and others.
> ...





The comments I put into bold come across as rude, argumentative, condescending, etc. I did not see anything in what anyone said to you that sounded like an attack or anything, so it feels like you responded more emotionally than necessary.

This may not have been your intention, but that is how it looks to others. If you combine this with your casual grammar and writing style, it may be coming across the wrong way.

The rule I try to use is to challenge or question the information, not the person. I ain't perfect, but I don't think there are a lot of people mad at me either. And if you really knew me, you would know I LOVE a full-blown debate/argument! Good old-fashioned name calling and creative use of colorful adjectives, red-faces screaming with spittle flying... what fun!

But... here I try to use a Zen-like approach and I have learned a lot- even from people I have disagreed with.


----------



## Mao Senpai (Nov 1, 2010)

Hmm.. I just read some of your responses to people and they are all on the defensive. Try to understand what people are trying to do oppose to think as if everyone is out to get ya... and as with all opinions you accept them from all angles whether you agree with it or not. Afterall at the end of the day you decide what actions to do and how to take care of your own baby =)


----------



## John (Nov 1, 2010)

so im not a typist im also not a member of wct i wouldnt tell people too ignore them if i was or thered be no point in being a member my comment on emys response was simple i said misty wrote about betadine and leopards they responded that the article referred too another species they reserched the fact and found i was correct about the article that does not mean misty is right just that the article was written next when i asked about reading material i listed authors i am familar with and have read and maggie responded with pet shop books and turtles for dummys the book by pirog although the writing is accurate in the diet section it shows a leopard being offered a strawberry being new too tortoises meant having them i read a great deal i actually did a little project with eastern box turtles that too me turned out very interesting,i also have done some volunteer work with the fish and wildlife here in nj i have kept aquatic turtles spots,mud,musk,snappers.snakes have always been my main interest ,until now i havent had the space too actually keep large torts i had too part with some stuff but the current collection stands at 3 leopards soon to be 5, 6 ball pythons different mutations ,1 iguana,1 leopard gecko,two fire belly toads,several bull frog tadpoles


----------



## Kenny (Nov 1, 2010)

For what its worth, I think this is all about respect. You deserve it, everyone here deserves it , and the forum deserves it. Respect those who are trying to help, by being gracious, and courteous towards them and there are no problems here.
I am a new member myself, and I have been treated very respectfully, and had all my questions answered in a friendly manner. People here are giving you suggestions, not instructions. Take what they have to say, and combine it with your own research. I think it's safe to say that everybody here has the best intentions for you and your tortoise's , whether its published info, or info based on personal experience , it all has merit, and value. Be happy that there are so many people trying to help, and try not to take everything so defensively.

But this is just my personal opinion


----------



## DonaTello's-Mom (Nov 1, 2010)

You sure have a lot of experience. We could learn some from you too!...
Okay now, we need to see some pictures!...


----------



## Neal (Nov 1, 2010)

The thing to remember is that this is a forum for people who enjoy tortoises as a hobby to learn from each other. Everything anyone posts here is opinion so there is a lot of personal experience being shared here. There is no "right way" to raise a tortoise so whenever you post a question you are going to get a variety of answers. Some of them will benefit you and some won't. Sometimes you will get responses that don't relate to your question. In your most recent post on your cork bark thread you thanked Danny and Kelly for their answers to a simple question. I had responded to your thread and misunderstood your question, so I took your comment as a slam against mine. Not that it affects me in the least, but if you expect people to take you seriously and help you with your inquiries you should not respond the way you are choosing to. If you have a problem with a response you get, pm the person and resolve it that way instead.


----------



## stells (Nov 2, 2010)

I post on this forum very rarely now... there are to many people that like to tell others that they are dated and don't know what they are talking about... i myself had that one thrown at me... also to many people who post replys in a way that looks like there way is the only way... and i thought you lot said us brits were bad for that  




emysemys said:


> stells said:
> 
> 
> > It seems that sometimes with this forum you have to prove yourself before you are accepted... and only some people can be arguementative... while others can't...
> ...


----------



## John (Nov 2, 2010)

Neal Butler said:


> The thing to remember is that this is a forum for people who enjoy tortoises as a hobby to learn from each other. Everything anyone posts here is opinion so there is a lot of personal experience being shared here. There is no "right way" to raise a tortoise so whenever you post a question you are going to get a variety of answers. Some of them will benefit you and some won't. Sometimes you will get responses that don't relate to your question. In your most recent post on your cork bark thread you thanked Danny and Kelly for their answers to a simple question. I had responded to your thread and misunderstood your question, so I took your comment as a slam against mine. Not that it affects me in the least, but if you expect people to take you seriously and help you with your inquiries you should not respond the way you are choosing to. If you have a problem with a response you get, pm the person and resolve it that way instead.



your right neal i didnt mean too slam anyone im done with all the drama this is my last post on all this sillyness ill post when i have something relevent too say if nobody responds than it is what it is


----------



## Kevin Kelly (Nov 2, 2010)

REALLY??
All I know is that I am new at raising torts and have been reading A LOT on this forum and everywhere else I can find to learn everything I can. When I read a comment or a persons opinion; I check it out, if it's usable info, I use it. If it isn't right I don't use it. Simple! What I have learned from this forum has held to be TRUE and RIGHT.

From me personally, thank you all for your help and genuine concern.


----------



## moswen (Nov 2, 2010)

it's hard to read tones on your computer screen. as far as i know everyone's on here to help you, and give out personal opinions and advice on their own experiences with their torts... if you think someone's being snotty, pm them. chances are they'll apologize and say they didn't mean it. or if they did mean it, everyone else who's reading it thinks it's snotty too. just remember, we're here for the torts, not to single out one person in particular to step on your toes. i haven't read any of your posts so i don't know what's going on, but just think about how much fun it is to post pictures of your precious babies and have them be "oohed and aaahd" over. 

i personally would still be feeding my baby sulcatas a hay salad mix and keeping them on calcium sand (as per instructions of the pet store) if i hadn't read other posts and taken some other's advice and opinions. and i wouldn't know how much fun it is to watch a pumpkin-encrusted sulcata face wander around nosing for more food, cause i wouldn't know they could eat pumpkin. 

AND i wouldn't have my precious tiny baby spider tortoises!!!!


----------



## Kristina (Nov 2, 2010)

I'll be completely honest. When someone asks for help, and I give my opinion, and they argue with it, I am done. I love to help people. I have been taking care of chelonians for over 17 years. But I have a full time job, two children, a husband, and literally hundreds of animals to care for. If you need help, I will give it to you. But if you already think you know the answer, please do not waste my time. 

I get frustrated when people cite Misty Corton and Melissa Caplan to me (especially when they are saying that I am wrong) because although both of those women were major pioneers in tortoise care, neither has posted updated information in MANY years. There are advances in everything, not just tortoises. If a doctor suggested a treatment, would you say, "Oh no! You are wrong because back in the Middle Ages, they treated this problem like THIS..." I think not. It is the same with tortoise care. What was generally accepted 5, 10, 15, 20 years ago is now being shown to be incorrect. 

I have spoken to both Misty and Melissa personally on multiple occasions, I want to be clear, and love and respect both of them. The only thing I have to say is that while their research stopped some time ago, mine and the others on the forum continued to improve and advance. A lot of us have been doing this for a LONG time. I think that it is silly to think that discrediting our hard work and experience would be taken lightly.


----------

