# fostering and or adopting...humans this time :)



## lismar79 (Sep 30, 2014)

My husband and I have a house full of critters but no children. We really want children but sometimes your own plans for life don't line up I guess. We are just finishing up (tomorrow!) with our home study and will be licensed foster to adopt parents awaiting placement. We are too excited and a little scared. Any one have any experience they can share? Advice?


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## russian/sulcata/tortoise (Sep 30, 2014)

wow thats so cool! are you fostering a certain age group of kids like babies or teenagers?


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## lismar79 (Sep 30, 2014)

We are leaving it pretty open to any age. It will depend on the kid or kids if we find siblings


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## sissyofone (Sep 30, 2014)

I think what your doing is AWESOME. It takes a special kind of person/persons to do this. Theres so many children today who need loving families. I was blessed with (3) beautiful children of my own, And have helped raise at least that many more. Congrats to you and husband. Im sure you will make a difference in a childs life while fulfilling your own. I wish you nothing but the best. Good Luck to you all.


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## Jabuticaba (Sep 30, 2014)

lismar79 said:


> My husband and I have a house full of critters but no children. We really want children but sometimes your own plans for life don't line up I guess. We are just finishing up (tomorrow!) with our home study and will be licensed foster to adopt parents awaiting placement. We are too excited and a little scared. Any one have any experience they can share? Advice?


I'm childless by choice. I'm too selfish about my personal space, bordering on antisocial. Dogs are my favourite people. 

I really have no advice. Just wanted to say I do admire your courage and wish you all the best. 


May
THBs: Darwin & Merlin
Aussies: Dax, Vegas, & Cricket
IG: @AUSSOMEAUSSIES


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## chaseswife (Sep 30, 2014)

Hurray for you guys! My mom fought with fertility issues most of her life. She managed to have 3 biological living children and multiple miscarriages when they decided to do foster care. I was 10 or 11 when they started the foster process. They ended up adopting my 3 youngest brothers. They are biological brothers- the first one came to live with us when he was 6 months old, the 2nd came to our house straight out of the hospital, and the 3rd brother came when he was about 3 months old. They tried for years to reunite them with their biological mom but she made so many poor choices we adopted all 3 of them when the youngest was 2 1/2. It had always been a lot of extra work, but I love my brothers so much (all 5 of them- i am the only girl! ). They struggled a little bit when they learned about the adoption- but i always tell them that mom and dad didn't give anybody a choice about the biological siblings, but when we decided to do foster care the whole family was involved. We had so many family meetings to make sure everybody was on board it was almost silly. If anyone of us had said we didn't want to apt they would have stopped the process, but we didn't stop it because we feel in love with those little boys and would never ever want them to live anywhere else.


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## Jodie (Sep 30, 2014)

Wow. Congrats and God Bless you and your future family.


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## mike taylor (Sep 30, 2014)

I think thats awesome . I know people that do it . Most of the time it's good and rewarding . But you do get troubled kids some times that make it hard but all they need is someone who cares and they can trust. Then you're right back to the rewarding part . My neighbor adopted two five year old tween boys last year . Their mother was a dope head and the state got them . They adopted them it was hard for them little guys at first . But now they are family calling them mom and dad . They were a handful at first bad mouths and mean as a bears. But love and attention is all they needed to come around .


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## Prairie Mom (Sep 30, 2014)

lismar79 said:


> My husband and I have a house full of critters but no children. We really want children but sometimes your own plans for life don't line up I guess. We are just finishing up (tomorrow!) with our home study and will be licensed foster to adopt parents awaiting placement. We are too excited and a little scared. Any one have any experience they can share? Advice?



Hey lismar My husband and I were legal guardians of a teenage girl when we were in our early twenties. The teen we raised is now married with kids! I have 2 bio children and 2 adopted children, plus nearly ALL of my extended family have been adopted themselves. Adopted family members far outnumber the bio members in my and my husband's family and we and/or people we are extremely close to have probably been through every good and challenging experience you hear about when discussing adoption. I know you're asking for advice, but is there something specific that is on your mind? Adoption is such a HUGE topic, is far more complicated than birth-parenting in every way, and there are endless considerations. I'm a pretty open book, so feel free to ask away I do have a close friend who did Foster to Adopt. She adopted two children and I would guess nearly 50 children went in and out of her home during the time that they were trying to adopt. I know it can be a pretty tough thing to go through (I'm not sure I'm strong enough to do it!), but what wouldn't you do to find your family!?Right!? Good luck to you guys and let me know if I can do anything to help!


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## lismar79 (Oct 1, 2014)

Thanks all! Mostly what we struggle with is how do we choose, I feel kinda awful looking at these listings knowing they all need a home. The other big one is, how to you help them adjust. We have taken the classes but its all pretty vauge. I have read a million books, blogs, and talk to friends with bio kids but we are in a program were these kids are coming out of bad situations so its not going to be easy we know. We are ready, don't get me wrong, but I guess it just does not hurt to ask for more advice


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## Abdulla6169 (Oct 1, 2014)

That's a great thing your doing  You seem like a really nice person!


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## smarch (Oct 1, 2014)

I can't give advice since i'm not in the process yet and am young, but I'm watching this thread now since I know I will be going through this years down the road, since I wont be having my own biological kids down the road (I wont have a husband, I'll have a wife and would rather take a kid that needs a home than have a kid that's only one of ours) And I do plan to foster to adopt any age and siblings (its only fair they stick together) from any background so I may get an older kid with a rough past and want to know how to make them comfortable and trusting as best I can, so if you or any poster here finds books that are good I'd love to know, i'm only 21 and don't plan for the process until much later in life but this is something never too early to know about!

Best of luck and you're doing such a good thing!


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## chaseswife (Oct 1, 2014)

The best advice I have is just to love them and make sure they know that you love them. There are so many variables that we could never plan out what exactly you should do. But as long as there is love it will work out. It won't always be easy- even without the added trial of children changing homes, raising children is hard work. Just do your best and love the children. No matter what- even if they do everything they can to push you away and test your boundaries. All children need love.


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## Prairie Mom (Oct 1, 2014)

lismar79 said:


> Thanks all! Mostly what we struggle with is how do we choose, I feel kinda awful looking at these listings knowing they all need a home. The other big one is, how to you help them adjust. We have taken the classes but its all pretty vauge. I have read a million books, blogs, and talk to friends with bio kids but we are in a program were these kids are coming out of bad situations so its not going to be easy we know. We are ready, don't get me wrong, but I guess it just does not hurt to ask for more advice


Well, I have some comforting news for you: "Choosing" is actually the EASIEST thing in the world. I'm sure that is surprising news, but please allow me to share my experience... We did two foreign adoptions, more specifically two foreign special needs adoptions. We have no preference about whether adoptions are domestic or foreign, we just believe we were spiritually guided to our children and that is where they happened to be. I mention our type of adoption because the group of children we were adopting from are highly unlikely to be placed in homes. Many many of these children age out of the orphanages and are just kicked out into the streets without any support network and don't survive.--HORRIFIC!

We had to go through a lot of red tape to get to the point in our adoption where we could view photos and detailed case files of the "waiting children" we were looking into. I was TERRIFIED of the day when I would have access to the photos of all these specific children, because the reality is that who we don't adopt will most likely meet a terrible fate that often includes starvation and death. I can't even tell you the emotions I went through when we prepared to take a look at our possible adoptees.

But then, the strangest thing happened... I was looking at all these photos and descriptions. Yes, of course, it hurt me to see these kids in need of a home and I wanted to help them all, BUT THOSE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN WERE NOT MINE. The experience both my husband and I had could be compared to looking at a school class photo of your child's class. All the kids are cute and adorable, but looking at those other kids is not the same as looking at YOUR OWN CHILD. When my husband and I were searching through profiles we found two children that were OURS in every way. Looking at them felt the exact same way it did my first biological child who was already with us.

The decision was the easiest decision in the world. Two of those children were mine ---without ANY DOUBT--MINE, and the rest were not. I still think of the faces I saw. I still follow the stories of some of those children, but they simply were not mine. When it is right, I promise you and your husband WILL KNOW. There truly will not be any doubts or questions. It will be very clear.


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## lismar79 (Oct 1, 2014)

Prairie Mom said:


> Well, I have some comforting news for you: "Choosing" is actually the EASIEST thing in the world. I'm sure that is surprising news, but please allow me to share my experience... We did two foreign adoptions, more specifically two foreign special needs adoptions. We have no preference about whether adoptions are domestic or foreign, we just believe we were spiritually guided to our children and that is where they happened to be. I mention our type of adoption because the group of children we were adopting from are highly unlikely to be placed in homes. Many many of these children age out of the orphanages and are just kicked out into the streets without any support network and don't survive.--HORRIFIC!
> 
> We had to go through a lot of red tape to get to the point in our adoption where we could view photos and detailed case files of the "waiting children" we were looking into. I was TERRIFIED of the day when I would have access to the photos of all these specific children, because the reality is that who we don't adopt will most likely meet a terrible fate that often includes starvation and death. I can't even tell you the emotions I went through when we prepared to take a look at our possible adoptees.
> 
> ...



Thank you so much for sharing this with me! I do believe that everything happens for a reason & we will end up with the child or children we are meant to.  It just breaks your heart knowing there are sooooo many in need.


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## Prairie Mom (Oct 1, 2014)

lismar79 said:


> Thank you so much for sharing this with me! I do believe that everything happens for a reason & we will end up with the child or children we are meant to.  It just breaks your heart knowing there are sooooo many in need.


Keep up that faith and you will be lead to your child. Right now you are on the path to your child and they are out there somewhere. We began our adoption domestically and ended up in a totally different situation than we had predicted. I'm glad to hear that you are already trusting that things will happen as they are meant to. That is sooo important in these big decisions.


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## Yellow Turtle01 (Oct 1, 2014)

Congratulations!  I hope it goes very well! I support adoption, and I really hope this works out for you guys, and that everyone ends up happy. Good luck on everything!


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## Abdulla6169 (Oct 1, 2014)

If you need to pick between a few, pick the one you feel comfortable seeing... The one your soul feels comfortable seeing


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## lismar79 (Oct 1, 2014)

Thanks everyone! We just filled out the last of our paperwork today & our home passed inspection, we should be licensed by the end of the week


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## Delilah1623 (Oct 1, 2014)

I don't have any advice but congratulations and good luck! Keep us posted! 

I hope to go the adoption route one day as well.


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## Prairie Mom (Oct 1, 2014)

So, I've been thinking a bit about your question on how to help them adjust. I don't meant to take up so much room on your thread. I 'm kind of a fast typer and have been known to accidentally leave novels. Please forgive me if you feel I'm writing too much about the subject.

If you don't mind, I'd like to share some thoughts I have about the adjustment that's been on your mind. It's hard to give specific advice not knowing what age range you are looking into, but I do have three--no, four-- bits of advice that would have been helpful for me to understand, so I'll post them in hopes that it may be of use to you, now later, or even to someone else who comes across this...

-First, if you are not completely certain about what age range you plan to adopt in, BECOME CERTAIN. Take a break from looking at all the children in need and really focus on what you think would be best for your family. Then, once you think you have an idea, do everything you can to learn about the experiences of other adoptive parents who have adopted within that age range.

-I heard a famous psychologist say this once and he was dead right!...Change the name of your process from "Adoption" to "LEGALIZED KIDNAPPING." Then, and only then, will Parents begin to understand how your adopted child feels. Even newborn babies understand when they have been removed from their birthmother. They have cortisol flooded systems and if their emotional needs have ever gone unmet they can develop serious bonding and attachment issues which could potentially affect them for life. I would also add to this that your child will not be Grateful that you adopted them, at least not yet Which leads me to my next tidbit...

-Every adopted child is a traumatized child. Again whether they are an infant or nearly an adult. Trauma can come from one single event or be caused by extreme stress over a period of time. Losing everything you've ever known and being put with strangers is stressful! Not to mention many of these kids have actually experienced truly neglectful and traumatic events in their young lives. Many children feel as if they've had no control over their lives and will often use extreme and harmful measures to feel like they are controlling their surroundings. Continue you're awesome research and put a huge emphasis on how PTSD manifests in children. I would also strongly advise you or anyone else to put together a list of resources like babysitters for when you need a break and *research good adoption therapists in your area. A good therapist is truly a gift!

-Finally, remember "If it's good for the parents, it's good for the child." I guarantee you that your marriage is about to be tried in ways you would not have predicted. Keep nurturing your marriage especially when you feel crabby and things aren't going as you wish they would have.
--------
Alright, sorry for the novella. I really do wish you every success and happiness in the world!


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## Abdulla6169 (Oct 1, 2014)

Prairie Mom said:


> So, I've been thinking a bit about your question on how to help them adjust. I don't meant to take up so much room on your thread. I 'm kind of a fast typer and have been known to accidentally leave novels. Please forgive me if you feel I'm writing too much about the subject.
> 
> If you don't mind, I'd like to share some thoughts I have about the adjustment that's been on your mind. It's hard to give specific advice not knowing what age range you are looking into, but I do have three--no, four-- bits of advice that would have been helpful for me to understand, so I'll post them in hopes that it may be of use to you, now later, or even to someone else who comes across this...
> 
> ...


I like a good novel from time to time  Great advice!


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## lismar79 (Oct 1, 2014)

Prairie Mom said:


> So, I've been thinking a bit about your question on how to help them adjust. I don't meant to take up so much room on your thread. I 'm kind of a fast typer and have been known to accidentally leave novels. Please forgive me if you feel I'm writing too much about the subject.
> Alright, sorry for the novella. I really do wish you every success and happiness in the world!



I truly, truly appreciate this insight. Did I say truly  I have a good amount of experience with ptsd & have taken more classes than I care to admit on child development & victimology. So from a clerical standpoint i'm prepped. However, nothing is like real life experience. My heart is already breaking for the trauma these kids most likely would have gone through & I know uprooting them again placing them in my home is not going to help this stress. I do want to minimize it as best as I can though. We when started, we hoped for an infant. We have since switched gears pretty dramatically and have started considering older children. We left it open on paper because I don't want to be too narrow minded if the right set of circumstances come along. We also are set on "keeping" them from fostering to a legal adoption & chances for permanent placement are great in older children. So that all being said, and really really trying to not get our hopes up to much.... We formally applied to inquire about twin eight year old's today. A boy & a girl  We shall see what happens


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## Prairie Mom (Oct 1, 2014)

AbdullaAli said:


> I like a good novel from time to time  Great advice!


ha ha ha! Thank you!


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## Abdulla6169 (Oct 1, 2014)

Prairie Mom said:


> ha ha ha! Thank you!


Your welcome!


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## Prairie Mom (Oct 1, 2014)

lismar79 said:


> I truly, truly appreciate this insight. Did I say truly  I have a good amount of experience with ptsd & have taken more classes than I care to admit on child development & victimology. So from a clerical standpoint i'm prepped. However, nothing is like real life experience. My heart is already breaking for the trauma these kids most likely would have gone through & I know uprooting them again placing them in my home is not going to help this stress. I do want to minimize it as best as I can though. We when started, we hoped for an infant. We have since switched gears pretty dramatically and have started considering older children. We left it open on paper because I don't want to be too narrow minded if the right set of circumstances come along. We also are set on "keeping" them from fostering to a legal adoption & chances for permanent placement are great in older children. So that all being said, and really really trying to not get our hopes up to much.... We formally applied to inquire about twin eight year old's today. A boy & a girl  We shall see what happens



It certainly sounds like your future kids will be in great hands! Good luck with your inquiries and I hope your adoption process goes smoothly


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## Magilla504 (Oct 1, 2014)

I am so happy for you and your husband! My wife and I have two children of our own and a foster daughter we hope to be apart of the family soon! I am so happy when I hear of others trying to make a difference too 
Congrats and good luck! 
Jason


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## 4jean (Oct 1, 2014)

Congratulations and good luck! My husband and I are parents to 4 and we are interim care providers for newborns for an agency that gives new moms time to make decisions regarding adoption. It has been a very rewarding experience for our whole family. Follow your heart, and enjoy each moment!! What an exciting time for you and your husband. There will be challenges, but know you are doing a great thing! Many kids out there waiting for forever families.


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## lismar79 (Nov 5, 2014)

Just an update, we are now officially inquiring for placement. We have asked to meet with a 6year old in mi and a 10 year old from southern ohio. Both boys. Hopefully one of them excepts our application. It would be great to have a family for the holidays, but we are not getting our hopes up yet


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## bouaboua (Nov 5, 2014)

lismar79 said:


> My husband and I have a house full of critters but no children. We really want children but sometimes your own plans for life don't line up I guess. We are just finishing up (tomorrow!) with our home study and will be licensed foster to adopt parents awaiting placement. We are too excited and a little scared. Any one have any experience they can share? Advice?


Bless your heart!!


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## wellington (Nov 5, 2014)

Wow, I so wish you all the best of luck. A family for the holidays, now that would be the best gift ever for those kids, and you. I so hope it works out. When it does, I'm sure we all would love to see that family portrait.


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## 4jean (Nov 5, 2014)

Best of luck to you! Such an exciting time. Be patient. I'm sure someone is meant to be a part of your family!


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## Grandpa Turtle 144 (Nov 5, 2014)

Good luck and God bless your family for Christmas .


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## Prairie Mom (Nov 7, 2014)

How many kids do you and your husband hope to have someday?


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## lismar79 (Nov 7, 2014)

Prairie Mom said:


> How many kids do you and your husband hope to have someday?


2 ideally, though if the right sibling group came along we would consider 3.


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## Prairie Mom (Nov 7, 2014)

lismar79 said:


> 2 ideally, though if the right sibling group came along we would consider 3.


Very cool I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you guys!


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## lismar79 (Nov 13, 2014)

We got a placement today! A tough cute lil baby girl born with drugs in her system. She's a fighter though! 4 weeks old and we just got back from the dr a bit ago! Excited and scared but feeling pretty blessed to be part of her journey!


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## Earth Mama (Nov 13, 2014)

Congratulations. Your family will be in my prayers. Take a deep breath and just love her. She needs it I'm sure. Your heart has just grown by two feet <3


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## Delilah1623 (Nov 13, 2014)

Congratulations!!!!! So happy for you!


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## Prairie Mom (Nov 13, 2014)

lismar79 said:


> We got a placement today! A tough cute lil baby girl born with drugs in her system. She's a fighter though! 4 weeks old and we just got back from the dr a bit ago! Excited and scared but feeling pretty blessed to be part of her journey!


That's so exciting! What are the chances of birth parents giving up custody?


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## chaseswife (Nov 13, 2014)

I am so happy for you! You are amazing for giving her a loving home and family for however long you get to keep her.


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## lismar79 (Nov 13, 2014)

Prairie Mom said:


> That's so exciting! What are the chances of birth parents giving up custody?


At this point one is in jail and the other is on the run..... an aunt might come forward but we shall have to wait and see.


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## Prairie Mom (Nov 13, 2014)

lismar79 said:


> At this point one is in jail and the other is on the run..... .


ugh...poor baby girl! I'm glad you guys can provide her with some loving stability.


lismar79 said:


> an aunt might come forward but we shall have to wait and see.


I pray that what is best for everyone involved will take place. Please keep us posted and CONGRATS again to joining the WHACKY WORLD of PARENTING!


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## 4jean (Nov 13, 2014)

Congratulations!! I am so happy for you! I have fostered newborns too. Just relax and enjoy the moment. Hold her as much as you can and know that your loving touch is giving her the best start in life. Even the middle of the night feedings are offering her such stability and security. Keep us posted!


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## Yellow Turtle01 (Nov 14, 2014)

I haven't checked in in a while... Congratulations!! I really hope this works out for you guys!  Does she have a name?


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## bullanddoser1 (Nov 14, 2014)

My husband and I do foster care in NM. We have 2 adopted and have had 6 kids in our home. If is so rewording and fun. I love my kids more than anything and adoption is amazing


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## stojanovski92113 (Nov 14, 2014)

Just read through your thread...Congrats to you and your husband! How wonderful of you two to take in kids that need a good home! I wish you guys the very best


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## lismar79 (Nov 14, 2014)

Yellow Turtle01 said:


> I haven't checked in in a while... Congratulations!! I really hope this works out for you guys!  Does she have a name?


Ava


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## Yellow Turtle01 (Nov 14, 2014)

lismar79 said:


> Ava


That's such a pretty name ! Congrats to you and your husband, I hope Ava settles in nicely


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## bullanddoser1 (Nov 14, 2014)

lismar79 said:


> Thanks all! Mostly what we struggle with is how do we choose, I feel kinda awful looking at these listings knowing they all need a home. The other big one is, how to you help them adjust. We have taken the classes but its all pretty vauge. I have read a million books, blogs, and talk to friends with bio kids but we are in a program were these kids are coming out of bad situations so its not going to be easy we know. We are ready, don't get me wrong, but I guess it just does not hurt to ask for more advice



can't adjust perfectly. They are very resilient secondary to the life experiences they already had. all you can do is remind them that they are safe and that they are loved. dependent on the age group that you accept will depend on the struggles that you will endure. people always think that young children do the best, they do in some aspects but another aspect is a lot more difficult. it is also dependent on the situation they came from. Some of our children where severely abused others came from drug homes. 
My husband is a cop and just him coming home from work was traumatizing to our children. in their little mind please officers meant we had to go away or that their parents / guardian we're in trouble. They are not a sign of pertection. 
I would be more then happy to talk with you in greater detail privately. Please fill free to email me. [email protected]


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## lismar79 (Nov 14, 2014)

bullanddoser1 said:


> can't adjust perfectly. They are very resilient secondary to the life experiences they already had. all you can do is remind them that they are safe and that they are loved. dependent on the age group that you accept will depend on the struggles that you will endure. people always think that young children do the best, they do in some aspects but another aspect is a lot more difficult. it is also dependent on the situation they came from. Some of our children where severely abused others came from drug homes.
> My husband is a cop and just him coming home from work was traumatizing to our children. in their little mind please officers meant we had to go away or that their parents / guardian we're in trouble. They are not a sign of pertection.
> I would be more then happy to talk with you in greater detail privately. Please fill free to email me. [email protected]


Thank you for that!


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## lismar79 (Mar 21, 2015)

Just an update, 
We have our lil foster daughter for 4 months now, so far she is healthy and happy. Mom is still in a treatment type jail and is soon to be out. Dad has failed a few drug test and has yet to see her since she was removed at a month old. Other than the constant worry of loosing her, this is by far the best thing I have done with my life. There is nothing greater (to me) than watching her grow and develope 
Our next court date is in aug so mom has until then to stay clean and get her crap together.....this is her 5th child she has lost.....


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## stojanovski92113 (Mar 21, 2015)

lismar79 said:


> Just an update,
> We have our lil foster daughter for 4 months now, so far she is healthy and happy. Mom is still in a treatment type jail and is soon to be out. Dad has failed a few drug test and has yet to see her since she was removed at a month old. Other than the constant worry of loosing her, this is by far the best thing I have done with my life. There is nothing greater (to me) than watching her grow and develope
> Our next court date is in aug so mom has until then to stay clean and get her crap together.....this is her 5th child she has lost.....


You are an amazing person!! So happy to hear the great news  It's so sad to hear of stories about drugs, alcohol & babies, it doesn't mix or make any sense  I work with cognitively impaired children and adults. We have a few fetal alcohol syndrome kids that were adopted by a wonderful family. In fact I believe they are all siblings. There is 5 of them, they are really special kids.


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## lismar79 (Mar 21, 2015)

She was (is) fortunate to not have any lingering effects from the drug abuse. We work with an agency called help me grow and they are really pleased with how far she has come


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## 4jean (Mar 21, 2015)

I have been thinking of you and wondering how things were going since your last post. So happy for you. My family does short term interim care for moms who need time to decide about adoption. We just had a sweet baby girl for two weeks last month. It is such a gift to get a newborn from the hospital and be able to provide her with tons of love. Every time it is gut wrenching to send them on..even though I know it's short term! I will keep you in my prayers each day. I am truly impressed that you are strong and brave enough to bring this baby girl into your home not knowing what the future holds. Give that sweet girl a snuggle from my family to yours. Keep us posted.


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## lismar79 (Mar 21, 2015)

4jean said:


> I have been thinking of you and wondering how things were going since your last post. So happy for you. My family does short term interim care for moms who need time to decide about adoption. We just had a sweet baby girl for two weeks last month. It is such a gift to get a newborn from the hospital and be able to provide her with tons of love. Every time it is gut wrenching to send them on..even though I know it's short term! I will keep you in my prayers each day. I am truly impressed that you are strong and brave enough to bring this baby girl into your home not knowing what the future holds. Give that sweet girl a snuggle from my family to yours. Keep us posted.


Thanks for kind words and prayers


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## TortsNTurtles (Mar 21, 2015)

lismar79 said:


> We got a placement today! A tough cute lil baby girl born with drugs in her system. She's a fighter though! 4 weeks old and we just got back from the dr a bit ago! Excited and scared but feeling pretty blessed to be part of her journey!



I am so happy for you. This is great what you are doing. You are blessed. Enjoy the journey they grow too fast.


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## Jacqui (Mar 25, 2015)

Wonderful that things have worked out so far. Do you think you would ever want to add another child to the mix?


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## lismar79 (Mar 25, 2015)

Jacqui said:


> Wonderful that things have worked out so far. Do you think you would ever want to add another child to the mix?


For sure, we want at least two to three. I probably will not do another infant though because of the long waiting process to find out if you will even get custody but an older child that is available for adoption would be a welcomed blessing.


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## lismar79 (Apr 27, 2015)

We got a call late last week and confirmed today that we have been matched to start the adoption process with a six year old girl 2 hours away  we are very excited to meet her!


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## Momof4 (Apr 28, 2015)

@lismar79 How exciting!! What do you know about her? You guys must be over the moon!!


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## 4jean (Apr 28, 2015)

Congratulations! What an exciting time for your family!! Keep us posted. Wonderful, wonderful! Thinking of you.


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## Yellow Turtle01 (Apr 29, 2015)

lismar79 said:


> We got a call late last week and confirmed today that we have been matched to start the adoption process with a six year old girl 2 hours away  we are very excited to meet her!


This is amazing! Congratulations! This is so awesome for you guys!
You are wonderful people. I'm so glad you can help her out. 
Let us know how it goes!


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## stojanovski92113 (Apr 29, 2015)

Yellow Turtle01 said:


> This is amazing! Congratulations! This is so awesome for you guys!
> You are wonderful people. I'm so glad you can help her out.
> Let us know how it goes!


Yes please keep us updated! Very excited for you guys


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## lismar79 (Apr 29, 2015)

Momof4 said:


> @lismar79 How exciting!! What do you know about her? You guys must be over the moon!!


We know her name is Jill and she is a healthy girl in kindergarten. Her current foster parents are an older couple & they said she is a sweet heart but very stubborn. Shes also a bit of a tom boy & an animal nut! Hopefully get to meet her this weekend or next. She just had a failed match due to the adoptive parents bio son not adjusting well to the situation. We were next to be called & of course are eager to share our lives with her


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## 4jean (Apr 30, 2015)

How exciting for you guys and for Jill. I hope you can meet this weekend. Kindergarten is such a great age. My prayers are with your family. Such an adjustment for everyone.


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## Momof4 (May 5, 2015)

@lismar79 did you meet the little girl? How did it go?


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## Pokeymeg (May 5, 2015)

Hi @lismar79 , I just got caught up on your story here and I think what you're doing is wonderful!! I am so happy for you!

I hope one day to be able to adopt a child/children. We don't know if my fiance can have kids because of cancer 5 years ago. He had the option of freezing his little swimmers, but we agreed not to. If we can't conceive naturally, I'd rather take in a child in need of a loving home than go through fertility. And even if we can have kids off our own, I still hope to adopt because I've got plenty of love to share!

I hope everything continues to go well with your new daughter!!


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## lismar79 (May 5, 2015)

Momof4 said:


> @lismar79 did you meet the little girl? How did it go?


Not yet. Her therapist wants her to have a couple weeks to adjust from the last family she thought was adopting her. We don't want to rush her. Hopefully next weekend!


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## lismar79 (May 5, 2015)

Pokeymeg said:


> Hi @lismar79 , I just got caught up on your story here and I think what you're doing is wonderful!! I am so happy for you!
> 
> I hope one day to be able to adopt a child/children. We don't know if my fiance can have kids because of cancer 5 years ago. He had the option of freezing his little swimmers, but we agreed not to. If we can't conceive naturally, I'd rather take in a child in need of a loving home than go through fertility. And even if we can have kids off our own, I still hope to adopt because I've got plenty of love to share!
> 
> I hope everything continues to go well with your new daughter!!


Thanks for that! We were kind of in the same boat only its me not him. There are so many kids out their that need a good home!


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## lismar79 (May 8, 2015)

Interesting week for us. The birth mother of our 7 month old foster daughter and I have become a strange kind of friends. I have met her a few time during visits and have made her a photo book of all lil girls stages. We got permision to exchange phone numbers and we have been texting photos of lil miss. Two days ago she called me out of the blue and asked me to adopt baby girl. She already talked to children service and our case worker said this has never happened in our county! She said she wants what's best for her and she knows we are it. Said she knows she's going to need years to get her life straight and doesn't want baby girl to suffer for her mistakes. we still have to go through all the court stuff and dad would have to loose his rights first but its the first hopeful news for us to keep her. Pray, pray, pray


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## 4jean (May 8, 2015)

Wow!!! That really is such a special rarity. I have been doing newborn foster care for many years and know how rare that is. What a brave birth mother! I will keep her, your family and especially your new possible daughter in my daily prayers! Your family is growing quickly! Thank you for sharing this with us. Be patient! Enjoy each day!!


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## DawnH (May 12, 2015)

How EXCITING for you both!! I am late to the party but we are bio parents to five children ages 7, 11, 18, 20 and 28. We are also foster parents to twin 9 month old baby boys. We have had the boys since they were 3 months old. One twin weighed only 6lbs while his brother was 13lbs. Both were born the same weight, lots of abuse, neglect and drugs in their systems. It has been a long road. We are foster only. I came from a dicey background and was a CASA volunteer for years, I always knew as a child I wanted to be a foster parent. We wanted to wait till our youngest was in school and have been licensed a year and a half. We "specialize" in sibling groups - I cannot imagine these kids going through such a tragic time and getting separated. In the year and a half we have been licensed we have had 8 children become a part of our family, ages 3 months to 12 years old. The shortest time was 9 days and the longest 10 months. It is HARD work. These are my kids and I am very vocal when CPS, AFS, CASA, the judge, parent - whomever is not doing their job. If you ever need an ear please feel free to message me. Dealing with the system can cause you to loose faith at times and I know what it is like. Our twins are now caught up on weight and doing wonderfully. 

YOU. ROCK!


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## lismar79 (May 13, 2015)

Thanks @DawnH ! You rock as well


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## Moozillion (May 13, 2015)

lismar79 said:


> Interesting week for us. The birth mother of our 7 month old foster daughter and I have become a strange kind of friends. I have met her a few time during visits and have made her a photo book of all lil girls stages. We got permision to exchange phone numbers and we have been texting photos of lil miss. Two days ago she called me out of the blue and asked me to adopt baby girl. She already talked to children service and our case worker said this has never happened in our county! She said she wants what's best for her and she knows we are it. Said she knows she's going to need years to get her life straight and doesn't want baby girl to suffer for her mistakes. we still have to go through all the court stuff and dad would have to loose his rights first but its the first hopeful news for us to keep her. Pray, pray, pray


This is FABULOUS!!!

YOU are FABULOUS!!!!


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## lismar79 (May 13, 2015)

Moozillion said:


> This is FABULOUS!!!
> 
> YOU are FABULOUS!!!!


Thank you


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## Yellow Turtle01 (May 16, 2015)

How's it going?? Congratulations! You guys must be so happy!


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## lismar79 (May 16, 2015)

Yellow Turtle01 said:


> How's it going?? Congratulations! You guys must be so happy!


Thanks! We meet our new girl on Thursday


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## lismar79 (Jun 17, 2015)

Things did not go as planned with jill, foster mom that has her did not think we were a good match and she is right. She was very jealous with the baby and had some aggresion issues they did not disclouse to me. We can not take any chances for the babys safety so we walked away..... 

We do go to court tomorrow for the termination of bio parents rights, fingers crossed, if all goes well we will have our baby girl adopted by the end of the summer!
The bio parents volunteered surrendered so as long as there is no mind changing we should be good.


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## Yellow Turtle01 (Jun 18, 2015)

GOOD LUCK! I wish you all the best in court!!!


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## 4jean (Jun 20, 2015)

Congratulations! Thanks for the update. That's unfortunate about Jill, but thank goodness it didn't get to the point where she was with you and these things surfaced. Have a wonderful summer with your baby girl.


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## Momof4 (Jun 23, 2015)

Good luck!!! I hope everything goes smoothly!! Sending you good vibes!!!


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## Tidgy's Dad (Jun 24, 2015)

lismar79 said:


> Things did not go as planned with jill, foster mom that has her did not think we were a good match and she is right. She was very jealous with the baby and had some aggresion issues they did not disclouse to me. We can not take any chances for the babys safety so we walked away.....
> 
> We do go to court tomorrow for the termination of bio parents rights, fingers crossed, if all goes well we will have our baby girl adopted by the end of the summer!
> The bio parents volunteered surrendered so as long as there is no mind changing we should be good.


Really think what you are doing is incredible.
Wifey and I can't have children, so thought of this adoption or fostering process, but finally decided it wasn't for us.
Then we got Tidgy.
Not quite the same, I know, but our rescue tortoise makes us very happy.
Really hoping that all goes well for you and you get the result you are looking for with Ava.
Fingers crossed for you.


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## mike thornton (Jun 24, 2015)

That's an amazing choice an congrats advice I have as a father of two is patience patience patience and repetition repetition repetition was rinse and repeat but it will bring you the most frustration, joy, stress , and pride you will ever experience in your life enjoy the journey


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## mike thornton (Jun 24, 2015)

Wash not was


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## lismar79 (Jun 26, 2015)

Thanks all! We are officially in the adoption stage with our sweet baby girl Ava


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## Tidgy's Dad (Jun 26, 2015)

Wa-haayyy!!!
Very happy for you.


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## Yellow Turtle01 (Jun 26, 2015)

lismar79 said:


> Thanks all! We are officially in the adoption stage with our sweet baby girl Ava


YAY! I hope all goes well


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## lismar79 (Aug 9, 2015)

Going to court on Friday to finalize our adoption of our perfect 10 month old baby girl. I don't know if we will do foster care again but we were very blessed with this one. Our Daughters new name is Lorelai  thanks for everyones prayers and well wishes over the last 9 months!


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## Tidgy's Dad (Aug 9, 2015)

Congratulations!
And love to Lorelai.


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## kathyth (Aug 9, 2015)

This is so exciting and wonderful!! Every child deserves what this baby is getting. Noire love and stability. 
Looking forward to Friday!


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## 4jean (Aug 9, 2015)

Congratulations!!!! So happy for your family! I received a baby girl on Friday for short term foster care. She is 2 months old today and currently sleeping in my arms as I type this. Hugs to baby Lorelei!


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## Tidgy's Dad (Aug 9, 2015)

4jean said:


> Congratulations!!!! So happy for your family! I received a baby girl on Friday for short term foster care. She is 2 months old today and currently sleeping in my arms as I type this. Hugs to baby Lorelei!


People like you and Lismar are undervalued.
You deserve so much respect and thanks for what you do.
Thanks and bless you.


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## Prairie Mom (Aug 9, 2015)

I'm so happy for you Lisa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Finally all the stress is going to come to an end and you can continue the business of being a family.


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## mike thornton (Aug 9, 2015)

lismar79 said:


> Going to court on Friday to finalize our adoption of our perfect 10 month old baby girl. I don't know if we will do foster care again but we were very blessed with this one. Our Daughters new name is Lorelai  thanks for everyones prayers and well wishes over the last 9 months!





Congrats that's such an amazing decision and all the best with Lorelei a beautiful name for what I'm sure is a beautiful little girl


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## stojanovski92113 (Aug 9, 2015)

lismar79 said:


> Going to court on Friday to finalize our adoption of our perfect 10 month old baby girl. I don't know if we will do foster care again but we were very blessed with this one. Our Daughters new name is Lorelai  thanks for everyones prayers and well wishes over the last 9 months!


All I can do is Smile  so happy for you!!


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## Momof4 (Aug 10, 2015)

Congratulations!!! I love her name!!!! 
Keep us posted and hopefully we can see pics of her soon!


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## lismar79 (Aug 23, 2015)

Here's the happy ending to this story. New begings ahead full of love and wonder. Thanks again for the support, prayers, and forum love


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## russian/sulcata/tortoise (Aug 23, 2015)

lismar79 said:


> Here's the happy ending to this story. New begings ahead full of love and wonder. Thanks again for the support, prayers, and forum love
> View attachment 145146


She's so cute!


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## 4jean (Aug 23, 2015)

Lismar she is just incredible! What a happy healthy girl!! Congratulations. She is too cute. Love her smiley eyes.

I am fostering a two month old right now who is awaiting adoption. I am hoping for her sake it happens soon...we are enjoying every moment, but feel like these precious first smiles should be with her family.


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## lismar79 (Aug 24, 2015)

4jean said:


> Lismar she is just incredible! What a happy healthy girl!! Congratulations. She is too cute. Love her smiley eyes.
> 
> I am fostering a two month old right now who is awaiting adoption. I am hoping for her sake it happens soon...we are enjoying every moment, but feel like these precious first smiles should be with her family.


God bless you for what you do for those children, I'm not sure I could do this again.


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## 4jean (Aug 24, 2015)

Thank you. In my situation I am just an infant care provider for short term so a birth mom can make a decision. I have 4 children of my own and am not looking to adopt....this is how I tell myself I can do it....although each time a baby leaves my heart breaks a bit, and I'm never sure I can do it again....but somehow I do. It makes it worthwhile when I see your sweet baby all settled in a loving family. Thanks again for sharing!


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## Yellow Turtle01 (Aug 24, 2015)

Congratulations! 
She is an adorable baby. She looks happy. I'm so happy for you guys


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## Tidgy's Dad (Aug 26, 2015)

lismar79 said:


> Here's the happy ending to this story. New begings ahead full of love and wonder. Thanks again for the support, prayers, and forum love
> View attachment 145146


Beautiful.
You are all so lucky. 
And deserve it.


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## lismar79 (Jul 7, 2016)

Wow.... almost a full year has gone by since adopting our Lorelai. Shes almost 2 now and full of spunk! She is so very independent and super smart. One of her favorite things to do every day is to feed "her" turtle. It goes by so fast...


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## Tidgy's Dad (Jul 7, 2016)

Wow, time flies, doesn't it ?
Gorgeous, thanks for posting.
I love happy endings. (and beginnings!).


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## Momof4 (Jul 8, 2016)

lismar79 said:


> Wow.... almost a full year has gone by since adopting our Lorelai. Shes almost 2 now and full of spunk! She is so very independent and super smart. One of her favorite things to do every day is to feed "her" turtle. It goes by so fast...
> View attachment 179554
> View attachment 179555



What a cutie!!! Thanks for sharing!!!


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## Kori5 (Jul 10, 2016)

She's so cute! Lucky you .


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## Pearly (Jul 10, 2016)

Omg what an awesome thread!!! Thank you for sharing your sweet beautiful story of a true miracle. Your Little Princess is absolutely gorgeous!


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## Gillian M (Jul 21, 2016)

Jabuticaba said:


> I'm childless by choice. I'm too selfish about my personal space, bordering on antisocial. Dogs are my favourite people.
> 
> I really have no advice. Just wanted to say I do admire your courage and wish you all the best.
> 
> ...



I think it's a choice in your case, not selfishness.


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## Gillian M (Jul 21, 2016)

lismar79 said:


> Wow.... almost a full year has gone by since adopting our Lorelai. Shes almost 2 now and full of spunk! She is so very independent and super smart. One of her favorite things to do every day is to feed "her" turtle. It goes by so fast...
> View attachment 179554
> View attachment 179555


Congratulations! A very thoughtful step. And what a *cute *little child you now have. GOD bless you all.


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## 4jean (Jul 23, 2016)

lismar79 said:


> Wow.... almost a full year has gone by since adopting our Lorelai. Shes almost 2 now and full of spunk! She is so very independent and super smart. One of her favorite things to do every day is to feed "her" turtle. It goes by so fast...
> View attachment 179554
> View attachment 179555



She is beautiful!!! So happy for you! This must be such a fun summer with her!


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## kathyth (Jul 23, 2016)

This is the best thread!! What a beautiful and happy little girl. 
The congratulations continues.


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## Gillian M (Jul 23, 2016)

How is your cute little daughter? Hope she's fine.

What's her name? *if* I may ask.


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## lismar79 (Jul 26, 2016)

Gillian Moore said:


> How is your cute little daughter? Hope she's fine.
> 
> What's her name? *if* I may ask.


Lorelai Diane


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## lismar79 (Jul 26, 2016)

lismar79 said:


> Lorelai Diane


And she is pretty great! No lingering issues from her poor start in life.


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## lismar79 (Jul 26, 2016)

4jean said:


> She is beautiful!!! So happy for you! This must be such a fun summer with her!


It has been a great summer. She's close to 2 now so there is a lot of new experiences to be had


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## Gillian M (Jul 27, 2016)

lismar79 said:


> And she is pretty great! No lingering issues from her poor start in life.


Great to hear that.


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## Gillian M (Jul 27, 2016)

lismar79 said:


> Lorelai Diane


Hello. How is cute little Lorelai Diane? Hope she s well.


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