# Terrifying sex organs of male turtles



## Cowboy_Ken (Aug 15, 2014)

By Darren Naish | June 8, 2012 

The views expressed are those of the author and are not necessarily those of Scientific American or HerpDigest.

Of the many unlikeable and inaccurate stereotypes maintained about animals in popular consciousness, among the most frustrating is what I term “old man turtle”. This is the idea that turtles (by which I mean, all members of Testudines) are like decrepit, weak, bony little old men housed inside a box. It’s not fair, and it’s not at all accurate. Here we look at just one aspect of turtle anatomy. In keeping with the stupid “old man turtle” idea, popular culture would have it that turtles are weak, flaccid, crappy organisms with dull social lives, stunted and barely functional internal organs and undersized sex organs. Well, wait a goddam minute…

For more go to:

http://blogs.scientificamerican.com.../06/08/terrifying-sex-organs-of-male-turtles/

(OK, the article is over a year old. But I am sick and tired of answering these questions via the net or phone)


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## sibi (Aug 15, 2014)

I don't blame you Cowboy. But, better you than me cause that would be pretty awkward for a woman to answer any questions of this nature


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## Abdulla6169 (Aug 15, 2014)

sibi said:


> I don't blame you Cowboy. But, better you than me cause that would be pretty awkward for a woman to answer any questions of this nature


Let alone ask them


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## Cowboy_Ken (Aug 15, 2014)

And one final point, 
“GET OFF MY LAWN YOU DAMN KIDS!!!"


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## jaizei (Aug 15, 2014)

I can't wait until I'm old enough to be able to yell at children and it comes across more as crotchety old man instead of ahole.


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## Cowboy_Ken (Aug 15, 2014)

No kids come out to our place unless invited. I've only had one trespasser, a very old man shot and killed an elk in our lower pasture. We were non to happy about that...


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## Abdulla6169 (Aug 15, 2014)

Cowboy_Ken said:


> No kids come out to our place unless invited. I've only had one trespasser, a very old man shot and killed an elk in our lower pasture. We were non to happy about that...


Put a "Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again." Sign


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## ascott (Aug 15, 2014)

It is simply a penis....I don't know what all the hub bub is about....and yes, women can and do say penis.....


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## Rob.harmon (Aug 15, 2014)

ascott said:


> It is simply a penis....I don't know what all the hub bub is about....and yes, women can and do say penis.....


Penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis!


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## ascott (Aug 15, 2014)

> It is simply a penis....I don't know what all the hub bub is about....and yes, women can and do say penis.....
> 
> Penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis!



When my son was about 12 years old...every time he heard the word nipple...regardless of context, he fell out laughing....we would be driving in the car and something had annoyed him and he was sulking, you know, not wanting to show that gorgeous smile of his...and all I would have to do is say "nipple" and he was laughing....thank goodness for the penis and the nipple....lol...


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## T33's Torts (Aug 15, 2014)

Rob.harmon said:


> Penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis!


*sigh*


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## T33's Torts (Aug 15, 2014)

jaizei said:


> I can't wait until I'm old enough to be able to yell at children and it comes across more as crotchety old man instead of ahole.


I'm not old and I constantly scream at kids to get out of my yard. And hey, that makes me an a$$ I suppose. But its fun!


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## naturalman91 (Aug 15, 2014)

ascott said:


> When my son was about 12 years old...every time he heard the word nipple...regardless of context, he fell out laughing....we would be driving in the car and something had annoyed him and he was sulking, you know, not wanting to show that gorgeous smile of his...and all I would have to do is say "nipple" and he was laughing....thank goodness for the penis and the nipple....lol...



that reminds me of my nephew lol he can't hold a straight face when anyone say's penis or vagina lol he's 14 and still does it lol


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## Maggie Cummings (Aug 15, 2014)

I was laughing just from reading the title. 
A couple of years ago Bob had his front legs stiff as can be and was obviously straining from the back end. So the ever intrepid Maggie, dummy that I am, 
laid my face in the grass right behind him so I could see if he had something stuck, or something. Anybody see the movie Alien? The one with Sigourney Weaver? So I got my face in the grass practically up his ****, when all the sudden he unfurls this "Alien" looking thing, ugliest thing ever and I was not fast enough and I got slapped in the face by it...'nuff said.......yes Ken, laugh your a** off!


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## Jabuticaba (Aug 15, 2014)

maggie3fan said:


> I was laughing just from reading the title.
> A couple of years ago Bob had his front legs stiff as can be and was obviously straining from the back end. So the ever intrepid Maggie, dummy that I am,
> laid my face in the grass right behind him so I could see if he had something stuck, or something. Anybody see the movie Alien? The one with Sigourney Weaver? So I got my face in the grass practically up his ****, when all the sudden he unfurls this "Alien" looking thing, ugliest thing ever and I was not fast enough and I got slapped in the face by it...'nuff said.......yes Ken, laugh your a** off!


PMSL! Oh, my stomach hurts! 


May, Aussies, & THBs
IG: @AUSSOMEAUSSIES


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## Cowboy_Ken (Aug 15, 2014)

maggie3fan said:


> I got slapped in the face by it...'nuff said.......yes Ken, laugh your a** off!


Thank you Maggie you know I love you !!!!!


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## Elohi (Aug 15, 2014)

maggie3fan said:


> I was laughing just from reading the title.
> A couple of years ago Bob had his front legs stiff as can be and was obviously straining from the back end. So the ever intrepid Maggie, dummy that I am,
> laid my face in the grass right behind him so I could see if he had something stuck, or something. Anybody see the movie Alien? The one with Sigourney Weaver? So I got my face in the grass practically up his ****, when all the sudden he unfurls this "Alien" looking thing, ugliest thing ever and I was not fast enough and I got slapped in the face by it...'nuff said.......yes Ken, laugh your a** off!



OMG. I. DIE! LMAO! You poor thing! As if seeing those freaky alien things, you one up'd all the players and got slapped in the face with it! HAHAHAHA OMG Maggie HAHAHAHAHA


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## Cowboy_Ken (Aug 15, 2014)

There's a joke in that somewhere, Maggie…


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## Maggie Cummings (Aug 15, 2014)

Cowboy_Ken said:


> There's a joke in that somewhere, Maggie…



Yeah, but remember, I know where you live...


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## ascott (Aug 15, 2014)

> you one up'd all the players and got slapped in the face with it!



LMAOfff...Maggie, I hope by now--you know I have nothing but love for you....but I would have paid cold hard cash for that show and follow up reaction (and I suspect awesome language)....ahhhh, ah hell, I am clutching my side from the laughing cramps....You go Bob....slap your manhood round all the town....


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## Maggie Cummings (Aug 16, 2014)

BTW...It's slimy...


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## Cowboy_Ken (Aug 16, 2014)

maggie3fan said:


> BTW...It's slimy...


Because we all needed that visualization...


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## Maggie Cummings (Aug 16, 2014)

That's how I make friends and influence people...I was also surprised to find out that Tom's elephants have wet snotty noses too...it's green actually...I wanted to meet them so bad. It was one of the highlights of my life, even as sick as I was. It was just supe for me...


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## ascott (Aug 17, 2014)

> BTW...It's slimy...



Cold hard cash.........LMAOfff.....fantastic...


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## Elohi (Aug 18, 2014)

Maggie, that'd have made one helluva viral video. Hahaha. So sorry for your unfortunate encounter with the alien tortoise peen but omg SO funny.


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## ascott (Aug 19, 2014)

> That's how I make friends and influence people



???by having Bob slap em in the kisser with the slimy jimmy????? I am confused.....


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## bouaboua (Aug 19, 2014)

A very entertaining thread I shall say.....Hahaha!!


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