# Posts and using discernment



## Blessed3x (Jun 10, 2013)

Just something on my heart to post. When we read posts from other people sometimes we need to use decrement and also realize we may not be hearing the 'whole' story. There are always two sides to every story and one should not judge unless they know all the facts. Sometimes when people are upset they feel frustrated and some facts are left out. So no matter what the subject we should of course be compassionate, understanding, helpful yet slow to judge as many times there is more to something than we realize.

Sometimes people will break out in pissing contests, some will just sit back and let it be. I for one chose to sit back and let it be. I've been off this forum for many months due to way to much going on in my life, however I always felt this forum was a great one, well ran and nice people who are willing to give information and advice.

I'm looking forward to being back on here after a bit.


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## wellington (Jun 10, 2013)

*RE: Posts and using decernment*

I agree and will take a second look at my postings before I hit the "post reply" button.


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## theelectraco (Jun 10, 2013)

*Posts and using decernment*

For an online forum, this place is as PG as it gets. At least from my experience. Sure there are disagreements from time to time, but for the most part everyone is respectful and cautious of what they say. Details may be left out and assumptions may get made, but 90% of the time other members ask for the details right away and it is OP who doesn't give them. In my opinion, there is quite of bit of babying on this forum, sometimes people need to be told how it really is. You can't always sugar coat everything. 


0.1.0 Dachshund
0.0.1 Redfoot
1.0.0 Greek 
0.0.1 Crested Gecko


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## Blessed3x (Jun 10, 2013)

*RE: Posts and using decernment*

True but if one doesn't have all the facts telling it like it is kind of isn't productive.
I have seen some forums get so nasty and break down and get split up, I don't consider this
forum a quite a bit of 'babying' I see it as we are all expected to act respectfully and maturely
and any less is not tolerated. This is one of the best run forums I have come across.
Yes sometimes people need to be told how it really is, yet what is real to one may not be real to another.
What one person says may not be all the facts. It's all good. I'm just saying there are always two sides to every story and
sometimes during someone's anger or frustration facts are left out.


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## kanalomele (Jun 10, 2013)

*RE: Posts and using decernment*

I agree with the point of "not sugar coating" everything. However, I think it is equally important to be respectful and accept that there are many people who do things differently and still find success. Most of us long time keepers have learned to adjust and revise our methods over the years. This forum is perfect for keepers of all skill and experience levels. But in order to keep it that way we individually have to focus on making our statements as clear, informative and dispassionate as possible.


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## mctlong (Jun 10, 2013)

*RE: Posts and using decernment*



Blessed3x said:


> Just something on my heart to post. When we read posts from other people sometimes we need to use decrement and also realize we may not be hearing the 'whole' story. There are always two sides to every story and one should not judge unless they know all the facts. Sometimes when people are upset they feel frustrated and some facts are left out. So no matter what the subject we should of course be compassionate, understanding, helpful yet slow to judge as many times there is more to something than we realize.
> 
> Sometimes people will break out in pissing contests, some will just sit back and let it be. I for one chose to sit back and let it be. I've been off this forum for many months due to way to much going on in my life, however I always felt this forum was a great one, well ran and nice people who are willing to give information and advice.
> 
> I'm looking forward to being back on here after a bit.



Well said.


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## hunterk997 (Jun 10, 2013)

*Posts and using decernment*

Wouldn't this be better under "off topic chit chat?"


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## 7oasty23 (Jun 10, 2013)

*Posts and using decernment*

I'm curious as to what the other side of the story is? I know a lot of us read the thread that made you post this, but you haven't actually said anything about the reasons behind what you did.


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## Tom (Jun 10, 2013)

*RE: Posts and using decernment*

So you did actually pay the money you owed and the other poster in not being completely truthful?

I'm willing to listen if you would like to tell your side of the story.


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## loyolaboy98 (Jun 10, 2013)

What forum is this based off of?


Kyle & Turbo


I mean topic


Kyle & Turbo


Ohhhh ik which one... carol im sorry it was a joke i never sent u a pm im really sorry. I will not judge anyone on this forum again. 


Kyle & Turbo


While we are on the topic i feel like a lot of people are judgeing me right now after viewing this thread. Literally no one has said anything on my thread whil 10x the people have posted on this and many other threads in half the time...


Kyle & Turbo


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## mightymizz (Jun 10, 2013)

Feel free to let us know whether you paid the money or not. It seems "fairly simple" to me to determine. I mean either there was offer of money, or they were just "given" away freely.


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## Blessed3x (Jun 10, 2013)

All I am going to say is there is more to that post than was said. I don't feel the need to defend myself, I have told some
of the admins/mods. I don't feel I need to or have to explain myself to a few thousand people I don't even know.
And since none of you are involved I don't feel it appropriate for any of you who are not directly involved to ask me to explain myself. 
I'm not trying to be rude but in that other post some other information was left out. Although some of you mention you are 'willing' to listen
I don't feel hundred if not thousands need to be involved. Just remember there are always two sides to each story. 
If I had read either post I would not feel I was due an explanation if I were not directly involved. Seems to me with all the other topics 
about tortoises there doesn't need to be drama. Just my opinion. I'm not trying to be rude, I'm not trying to be evasive. Just feel
if someone wasn't personally involved they don't need to feel they are owed an explanation. If I were in any of your shoe's I would not
at all feel I was due an explanation. It wouldn't be my business. As I mentioned I did offer my explanations to some of the mods and
a couple of nice people who were nice enough to ask me in a PM and not feeling they were 'owed' an explanation.


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## Tom (Jun 10, 2013)

If someone came onto a public forum and accused me of dodging my bills, and it wasn't true, I'd give a simple explanation.

Just making this up entirely, but something along the lines of "I got laid off of work unexpectedly and the seller of my tortoise told me to just pay whenever I got the money, but now the seller has grown impatient, etc..."

You don't owe us an explanation, but since we are all friends here and part of a community with a common interest, a brief explanation seems reasonable. You certainly don't need to go into detail or tell us your life story, but dishonesty, broken promises and not paying one's bills could certainly be considered "Conduct Unbecoming" in a community situation like this. If these things did not happen, you should really say so, and explain why that other thread exists. Sorry your dirty laundry went public, but we can't help that it did. If you choose not to explain, we'll all just have to make decisions based on the info we DO have.


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## 7oasty23 (Jun 10, 2013)

I'm with Tom on this one. If there is a legitimate reason for not paying, then you should let the community know. How will you ever be trusted to do business? You can keep it quiet, but I doubt anyone will ever deal with you on this forum ever again.


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## Blessed3x (Jun 10, 2013)

Well then if that is the case so be it. The fact that I had never prior had any complaints. If one complaint is enough to never deal with me 'ever again'
then I guess I'll have to live with it. Tom due to you and I Pm'ing in the past I did PM you. You had always been kind to me, answering questions. sharing wisdom.
Due to you and I having chatted (PM) in the past I did PM you. However those who have never dealt with me who have never even gotten to know me
via PM's and chatting in posts I don't know why you feel you are owed an explanation. I'm not trying to be a witch. Just don't feel I need to iron out my
personal issues on here. No one else has ever had an issue with me about not paying. But I do realize it is human nature to remember the one wrong or mistake and not the 
dozens of rights.


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## 7oasty23 (Jun 10, 2013)

No one feels like they need an explanation. A member posted a buyer beware thread, and you felt the need to make your own thread. You were the one who furthered the discussion, and you never told your side of the story. And I know if someone publicly accused me of ripping them off, not saying you did, I would tell the community the truth. Unfortunately we only have heard one side of the story, so that is what our opinions will be based on. I'm sorry if I offended, but until we hear otherwise, people will assume that you are dishonest. If that is not the case, then you should enlighten everyone.


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## luvpetz27 (Jun 10, 2013)

I have learned to not believe only one side of a story. There are always two sides. I received a pm and heard the other side. I am glad she even took the time to let some of us know her side and to post her feelings on here.


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## Blessed3x (Jun 10, 2013)

7oasty23 said:


> No one feels like they need an explanation. A member posted a buyer beware thread, and you felt the need to make your own thread. You were the one who furthered the discussion, and you never told your side of the story. And I know if someone publicly accused me of ripping them off, not saying you did, I would tell the community the truth. Unfortunately we only have heard one side of the story, so that is what our opinions will be based on. I'm sorry if I offended, but until we hear otherwise, people will assume that you are dishonest. If that is not the case, then you should enlighten everyone.



It was a seller beware not a buyer beware.
Until a couple of people emailed me I had not been on this forum in almost 8 months or so.
Special thanks to all who asked me in private or who took the time to hear my side of the story in private.
It is what it is, she was not incorrect yet she left out some major facts. I'm going to get off here and enjoy my grandchildren. Good Night all.
Super special thanks to Tom, Mr. Tom you always were kind to me in the past and your PM tonight was most kind and made sense, thank you kind Sir.
I will say this, she was correct in some of her statements but kind of left out a few facts. I will give you all one fact and then I am done with this
She was offered the tortoise back MONTHS ago, yes she was getting ready to move but it was months before the move. I am sorry this ever happened.
I truly wish she just took it back. Personally me??? If I was in her shoes and I felt I was being done wrong (Which I was not trying to do anything wrong just saying if I felt that way) 
I would of beat feet to go get the tortoise
back when it was offered back. She declined.


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## Turtulas-Len (Jun 11, 2013)

Grandchildren are great, we have our 12 year old grand daughter from Colorado for the summer and a 2 year old grandson every other week for the week, it is a great summer, just a little to much rain. Go enjoy yours!!!


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## Sterling Thunder (Jun 11, 2013)

From the vague and innocuous statements provided by you, the seller can legitimately say beware. Good intentions and unfortunate changes in circumstance mean little when an agreement is entered and only one party to the agreement satisfies the conditions both agreed to.

I believe you when you say you didn't intend to mess over the seller, but it certainly sounds like you did and wanting to just send the animal back or wishing it hadnt happened isn't a viable resolution. It is unfortunate you are in this situation but it is on you to make it right to satisfy the agreement you made. I highly suggest that you sell the animal and have the money sent directly to the original owner plus or minus any difference of what you owe. I have little doubt that someone on the forum would buy the tort that can better provide for it.

I hope there is a satisfactory resolution for all parties and I am sorry you both find yourselves in this situation.


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## Ashliewood (Jun 11, 2013)

I may have left out some important details, but it was personal things. I was extremely kind to you throughout the last year(nearly). I was in no position to take the tortoise back, hence why I got
Rid of him as soon as possible. Also, who knows what kind of health he had been kept in?? I didn't have anything to go off of except that you couldn't pay me, so how are you properly caring for the tortoise? you should have sent the check out the same day you got the tortoise as promised. End of story. Also, I didn't come here without you knowing, I told you I was going to


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## Blessed3x (Jun 11, 2013)

You also left out you did get a partial payment, small, but at least an effort in light of the issues in my life. 
And warning people? Seriously when I had not been on here for 8 months?
And the smiley face after saying " I told you I was going to" shows to me it was personal and in
retaliation not to warn people I have not even been on the forum in close to a year.
That's ok it is what it is, hope you feel you got your revenge. I know my heart, I know my intentions and
I know what my situation of expected things has been. Now the dirty laundry is out.
Left things out cause they were personal? How personal is it to mention you did receive a small payment
and to mention I apologized and offered you the tortoise back twice? As to taking care of my animals,
emergency vet bills in the last year also are part of the unexpected issues not to mention personal health issues.
So I guess you have your revenge..........hope it is as sweet as you hoped it would be.

And if you or anyone has any questions as to the proper care of my critters PM me and I'll gladly 
send you my vets name and number. He also knows I took one of my big guys to him every other day for two weeks
when he came down with a URI. And out of 10 torts he was the only one ill. I'll be paying off a very high vet bill
in monthly payments for the next 10 months. I chose to rack up the bill verses put them down, how many people do you
think would do that? Whatever, anyone can see up until a couple days ago I had not been on here in over 8 months.
What you did was out of spite and revenge not out of concern for others.
In your original post you failed to mention 1) She offered me the tortoise back 2) She made a partial payment 3) She kept in touch she did not ignore my calls or emails or texts.
4) Her husband's emergency surgery 5) Look at my old posts the dog I had for 11 yrs who out of the blue started seizing, the vet bills,
6) The leaking roof costs 7) The plumbing emergency costs, 8) My unexpected medical issues,, no 
you only tried to make yourself look like a major victim and me look like a person with dishonorable intentions.
Like I said hope your revenge was as sweet as you wanted.


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## Ashliewood (Jun 11, 2013)

No revenge here Carol, just stating the truth. As I mentioned in our emailing back and forth, I am in no position to take back the tortoise.... I am about to have nothing in my house and move to another country. You sent me an extremely small payment, yes I left it out because it was so small. Honestly, you may as well kept it. You lied and lied every week(nearly) and said you have a check or money order to send me, even addressed to me. This is not personal, honestly I don't really care that much anymore, I'm mad that I allowed myself to get duped. yes warn people....you made it clear that you do business through this forum, maybe not in the last 8 months. It's more the fact of the matter(you promised over and over that you sent the check/money order and I should receive it any day... You don't know why I haven't received it yet), the smiley face was just a friendly thing I always do. I'm not spiteful or hateful, I just don't like
Dishonesty is all. Where are the pictures you promised of his new "setup"?? Asked for those more
Than once. You probably meant well, but you lying to me got me to this place.


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## Ashliewood (Jun 11, 2013)

Sterling Thunder said:


> From the vague and innocuous statements provided by you, the seller can legitimately say beware. Good intentions and unfortunate changes in circumstance mean little when an agreement is entered and only one party to the agreement satisfies the conditions both agreed to.
> 
> I believe you when you say you didn't intend to mess over the seller, but it certainly sounds like you did and wanting to just send the animal back or wishing it hadnt happened isn't a viable resolution. It is unfortunate you are in this situation but it is on you to make it right to satisfy the agreement you made. I highly suggest that you sell the animal and have the money sent directly to the original owner plus or minus any difference of what you owe. I have little doubt that someone on the forum would buy the tort that can better provide for it.
> 
> I hope there is a satisfactory resolution for all parties and I am sorry you both find yourselves in this situation.



This is well said, my words are not as eloquent but this pretty much sums it up  I am not a victim, but go ahead as victimize yourself as you have done regularly.


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## Blessed3x (Jun 11, 2013)

Then I guess everyone is warned. You did what you felt you needed to do. Sorry things happened as they did. I can say I never had an issue like this. now people are warned to beware of me. If that makes you feel better in your heart then it is what it is.


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## Ashliewood (Jun 11, 2013)

I didn't state anything that was false? You would most definitely do the same if you were lied to repeatedly(over
Months and months) Yes, it's unfortunate what happened to you, but I got tired of it and have no time for this, this is not enjoyable for me, at all. But I felt it was appropriate since you do business here. You could have made it right And you had plenty of time to do so. When you took him you made it seem like rainbows and butterflies, visits and pictures....
None have arrived in my email. And always too busy for me to
Come up to your house.


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## Yvonne G (Jun 11, 2013)

I think both sides have now had their say. There's no good going to come from more he said, she said. I'm closing the thread.

I'm sorry that "life happened" and you were unable to send the rest of the money. These things are just part of living. Sterling Thunder made a very good suggestion.


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