# Heartbroken



## Maggie Cummings (Apr 17, 2009)

Almost 3 years ago my sister sent me two 6 year old tortoises that were the size of 50 cent pieces and they had no beaks. Obviously they hadn't had the proper husbandry, 6 years old and the size of hatchlings.
The smaller one died in a few months but the bigger one ate good and flourished. He was a sweet clown and I adored him.
Yesterday morning he ate a normal breakfast but he didn't come out to eat last night but that was no biggie. He picked at breakfast this morning but still nothing unusual. Just now I saw him come out of his hide with his mouth open and arching his head back towards his carapace. As I watched he did that numerous times. I looked in his mouth, it looks normal nothing stuck in it and a good color. So I have been holding him and I think he is dead as I type this. I think he has died right here in my hand. I am heartbroken. Flat out didn't expect this and didn't see it coming. This is just awful...I don't understand how one could just die like this with no warning, no sickness...no signs...


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## Laura (Apr 17, 2009)

maybe he had heart problems that didnt show on the outside... We may never know... but we do know you did your best. 
sorry for the loss....


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## Kristina (Apr 17, 2009)

I am very sorry Maggie, I know how it affects you when someone else's tortoise dies, and I can't imagine how hard it must be for you to lose one of your own.

Kristina


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## Jentortmom (Apr 17, 2009)

Oh Maggie, I am so sorry. That is horrible, I wonder what could have happened. I'm so sorry **HUGS**


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## Yvonne G (Apr 17, 2009)

This was the beakless baby that she showed a picture of in another thread. How sad for a healthy tortoise that you've invested quite a bit of emotion into to suddenly die for no apparent reason. I'm wondering because of the mouth open and head going back over his back if he was trying to breathe. Like maybe his airway was blocked. Let us know what the vet says Monday after the gross necropsy.

I'm so very sorry that this happened, Maggie. I know its hard for you to go through losing them.

Yvonne


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## tortoisenerd (Apr 17, 2009)

Poor thing. I hope you can recover from this unexpected heartbreak without too much time passing. Best wishes.


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## Crazy1 (Apr 17, 2009)

Maggie, I know no words can truly console you at a time like this. You have such a big heart and I can only imagine that your heartbreak is enormous. I can say all the things we say to those who suffer a loss like yours, but you already know all of those and I am sure have used them far too many times. My heart goes out to you and I am tearing up thinking of your heartbreak. Know that baby was loved best, by one of the best. Maggie, I cry for you and your little loved one and send Hugs to you my friend.


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## BigBiscuit (Apr 17, 2009)

I am really sorry this happened.

I will be thinking of you.


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## Candy (Apr 17, 2009)

I'm so sorry that your little tortoise died Maggie. At least he was taken care of by someone who really cared all this time. Candy


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## Itort (Apr 17, 2009)

You have my sympathy. It is hard to lose a loved pet espically one you invested much time and love with.


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## K9KidsLove (Apr 17, 2009)

I am so sorry your baby passed. As I tell my grand kids, God probably needed a baby for a little kid who always wanted one and decided He needed yours. 
Prayers & hugs to you
Patsy


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## Weloveourtortoise (Apr 17, 2009)

Maggie, 
I am so sorry for you. Our heart goes out. I know it is hard but remember the joy he brought you.


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## Maggie Cummings (Apr 17, 2009)

I appreciate all the words of condolence...but he wasn't a baby, he was 7 years old, his first 4 were spent living in a 10 gallon aquarium without UVB lights or the correct food. I just called him the beakless 'baby' because he was so small and he had no beak. I had him for almost 3 years...and as usual it was me who cries over an animal who was ruined by some idiot who couldn't be bothered to give an animal the correct care. It's NEVER those people who have to see the animal die because they end up tired of having that animal so they take it to a rescue. So it's me or someone like me who watches the animal die and cries over them. I just want to go back to those people and others like them who don't care enough to do a little bit of research and raise the animal with the correct husbandry and shove a rotting dead carcass up there where the sun don't shine. I may have had him for 3 years but I know he died today because of the bad start he got from those people.
He died in my hand, I was holding him and saw him breathe his last breath. I AM SO MAD!!!


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## ZippyButter (Apr 18, 2009)

Maggie,

Sorry for your lost. I think God has called him home to heaven where there are many tortoise lovers waiting for him there. I believe they need torts as much as we cherish these creatures here on earth. I will remember your tort in song this weekend.

Minh


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## desertsss (Apr 18, 2009)

I am so sad to hear this. Atleast you were there. My condolences.


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## terryo (Apr 18, 2009)

I know the feeling Maggie...When I was doing water turtles, and something like this happened I felt the same way. I still have fights with people when I am at the local pond and I see kids chasing ducks and catching the turtles that people dumped off because they didn't want them any more. You did your best...that's all we can ever do. Hugs.......


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## sendie (Apr 18, 2009)

I'm so sorry you had to deal with this, and with your huge heart you probably will again and again. The world needs more people like you, thanks for all you do.


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## Stazz (Apr 18, 2009)

I'm so so sorry to hear about your tort Maggie. I'm so heartbroken for you.You have such a big heart Maggie, I wish you didn't have to go through this.Nick, Tallula and I send you 1000's of hugs....you can take one or more for each time you need it. Xxx


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## Meg90 (Apr 18, 2009)

oh Maggie, I am so sorry. And yes, I understand how you can be angry. I am also sick of that disposable mentality with animals. Poor little guy. He lived out his final years in comfort to say the least.


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## jlyoncc1 (Apr 18, 2009)

Sorry to hear Maggie. I know it's not easy but I know you did everything you could. **HUGS**


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## baseballturtle48 (Apr 18, 2009)

This brings back painful memories of similar times. What a terrible shock for you. It hurts so bad when it happens, even worse right in front of you. You were there for him for 3 good years, and you gave him a chance at a decent life for those years.


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## galvinkaos (Apr 19, 2009)

Maggie as I said on the PM. Hugs for you. I like to beleive that Beakless and Jefferson are hanging out together with lots of sunshine and good stuff to eat. It is hard to lose a friend you have taken care of when someone else didn't but remember there are other babies and kids out there that still need someone who cares as much as you do. 

Dawna


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## Isa (Apr 19, 2009)

O noo Maggie, I am so sad to hear this  It must have been terrible to see him died , in a way he was lucky, because he got 3 whole years with you to take care of him [/align]


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## purpod (Apr 19, 2009)

Maggie ~ of all the peeps who could've cared for your babe & given him a real life full of *love *and *joy*, God picked _you!_ Only you could've given him the TLC he needed. Know that you *are *one of Gods' angels!! Perhaps, God needed to pick your babe for another {As others have said here}, and altho the loss is seriously painful {'specially when you are holding them as they pass, poor thing!!} you can rejoice that he is loving life and bringing joy to those in a place that we can only imagine!

Sending many blessings and condolences, my dear!!
{{{{{Maggie & Crew}}}}}
Sincerely, your Purpod Pal


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## BigBiscuit (Apr 19, 2009)

purpod said:


> Maggie ~ of all the peeps who could've cared for your babe & given him a real life full of *love *and *joy*, God picked _you!_ Only you could've given him the TLC he needed. Know that you *are *one of Gods' angels!! Perhaps, God needed to pick your babe for another {As others have said here}, and altho the loss is seriously painful {'specially when you are holding them as they pass, poor thing!!} you can rejoice that he is loving life and bringing joy to those in a place that we can only imagine!
> 
> Sending many blessings and condolences, my dear!!
> {{{{{Maggie & Crew}}}}}
> Sincerely, your Purpod Pal



Perhaps my daughter in heaven needed a tortoise to play with


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## Maggie Cummings (Apr 19, 2009)

Thanks to all of you for your kind words. I am just still so upset about this I almost can't talk about it. Normally when tortoise gets sick you have some time to prepare yourself for their deaths...But Beakless wasn't sick he was eating and acting perfectly normal. Then to hold him and have him die in my hand was just beyond words. I actually watched him take his last breath. It was awful.
Tomorrow he goes to the Vet for a necropsy. That can't tell a lot but maybe it can tell if he choked on something...I really need to know.


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## Maggie Cummings (Apr 20, 2009)

Beakless is at the Vets now getting a necropsy. I will be getting him back on Wednesday. I have dug him a nice grave under the Hollyhock and I bought a metal star and hung it on my deck because he was my shining star. I know it's silly I suppose but he was special to me and now that I'm an old lady and don't have to be a tough broad anymore I can do stuff like that...I'll let you know what the Vet says...


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## bikerchicspain (Apr 20, 2009)

I am so sorry to hear about your little beakless. Find some peace in the fact that he had the best home possible, He knew love and he knew you..


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## Isa (Apr 20, 2009)

Maggie, it is so sad. I can't wait to know what the vet says.


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## purpod (Apr 20, 2009)

Nothing at all silly about the star, Magg; makes perfect sense to this purpod peep!

And yes, BigB, I'm sure your sweeet angel is playing with Maggies sweeet shining star ~ 

It has been a great way for me to deal with loss; knowing that there is so much more to us than just our lives here on Earth! Think of the wonderfulness that awaits those we love who leave this Earth, and surely one cannot help but smile for the loved one, even tho our loss here may be so great.

Hopefully, the vet will be able to give ya some kind of closure, Maggie ~ also, knowing that he was held by you as he was dying surely had to make his passing so much more acceptable (from Beakless' perspective); imagine if you had not been there!! Thank God you were there to comfort him when he perhaps needed you most.

Again, my sincere prayers to ya,
Purpod


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## terryo (Apr 20, 2009)

Purpod....you always manage to say what I think. I wish I had your gift for words. Keep us posted Maggie.


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## ArkansasKelly (Apr 20, 2009)

I am so sorry to hear about your loss Maggie. Losing a loved pet is never easy. My thoughts are with you.

ARKelly


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## Stazz (Apr 20, 2009)

Maggs I really like the Star idea - it's a wonderful way for you to still "see" Beakless everyday, and can even talk to him  
We are waiting with bated breath to hear from you about the vet visit. HUGE HUGS!!!!


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## galvinkaos (Apr 20, 2009)

BigBiscuit said:


> purpod said:
> 
> 
> > Maggie ~ of all the peeps who could've cared for your babe & given him a real life full of *love *and *joy*, God picked _you!_ Only you could've given him the TLC he needed. Know that you *are *one of Gods' angels!! Perhaps, God needed to pick your babe for another {As others have said here}, and altho the loss is seriously painful {'specially when you are holding them as they pass, poor thing!!} you can rejoice that he is loving life and bringing joy to those in a place that we can only imagine!
> ...



Ok this post made me cry. It was the nicest, saddest thing I have read but made me feel so much better about losing a loved friend.

Thank you,

Dawna

I now know Jefferson is R.I.P.


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## Candy (Apr 21, 2009)

Evan, I didn't know that you had lost a daughter. My heart goes out to you. Candy


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## BigBiscuit (Apr 21, 2009)

Candy said:


> Evan, I didn't know that you had lost a daughter. My heart goes out to you. Candy



Thank you. Our 5 month old Emme is healthy. However, my wife and I lost our daughter Annika about two years ago. My wife went into premature labor at 7 months, due to a rare chromosomal abnormality that our daughter had, and she was stillborn. So, any time a family or pet's friend dies, we say Annika is playing with the pet in heaven.


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## Stazz (Apr 21, 2009)

Aw Evan I'm sorry to hear that. My mom gave birth to a stillborn a couple years after me....hence why I'm an only child, she didn't wanna go through it again!

Any news Maggs?? Have been thinking of you loads!


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## Gulf Coast (Apr 22, 2009)

I am so very sorry..


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## purpod (Apr 23, 2009)

You know, I have always felt that when God takes a baby from us {regardless of the age of the babe}, it's because they were too pure to be born {or to stay} in this world ~ For me, there is no other way to make sense of such tragic losses.

Dawna, I'm very pleased that you were able to gain some strength thru the words you've read here ~ {hopefully not offending others... Praise God!}

Let us know how things are going for ya, Magg's!
{And thank you Terry ~ you are much too kind}

Blessings to All!!
{{{Huggs}}}
Purpod


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## Stazz (Apr 25, 2009)

Thats a wonderful way of thinking of that Purpod  I think you are now the resident POSITIVE word


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## purpod (Apr 26, 2009)

Hiya Maggie Dear ~

Have you heard anything? And how are you fairing thru? Keep us posted as we all feel for you!

And Stace, you too, are much too kind. I do my bestest to be encouraging to others. {and if I am, surely the credit is not mine, but Gods', as He is my positive rock in such a negative world!}

Blessings to All,
A Purpod Peep


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## Maggie Cummings (Apr 26, 2009)

Purpod...I posted an update you evidently missed, I am sorry about that...The necropsy on Beakless showed that he had a blood clot on his brain and "stroked out". 
Big Bubba is still very sick and is now having trouble walking. I am feeding him with a syringe and he actually is cooperating and eating alright...I still have hopes for him.


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## purpod (Apr 26, 2009)

Awww, Magg, sorry I missed it! Not getting to "play" online as I used to has left me in-the-dark on some things.

Hopefully you can now understand that his passing had _nothing _to do with you or the care you provided! If anything, you gave him the love and affection that all of us critters desire and require for growth.

Bestest blessings to Big Bubba and your entire family ~ know you are well thought of and prayed for!

Always, Purpod


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## Stazz (Apr 26, 2009)

You are a true Child of God Purpod


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## K9KidsLove (Apr 27, 2009)

Maggie...I am glad to hear Big Bubba is eating. When does he go back to the vet? Did they check for cancer? Test for FIV, etc? I am praying he gets better soon.
Hugs
Patsy


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## Isa (Apr 27, 2009)

Maggie, 
I am glad Big Bubba is eating, it is a good sign.
You are both in my thoughts.


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## Maggie Cummings (Apr 27, 2009)

Bubba is eating from a syringe, not eating on his own. He is very sick and not out of the woods by any means...I want him eating out of his own food dish, not eating from a syringe that I have put in his mouth...


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## Yvonne G (Apr 27, 2009)

but, he's such an ornery old coot, that his allowing you to feed him, even tho' it IS from a syringe, is pretty good news!

Yvonne


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## Maggie Cummings (Apr 27, 2009)

He staggers when he walks, which is rare...(the walking not the staggering). But yesterday a couple of times he walked and pooped as he was walking. So I think now I need to think about how sick IS he, does he have a chance to recover and how should I handle the thinking about having him put to rest with dignity...and could I actually do that. It's awful and fills my mind all day. I try to read the forum to take my mind off of it...but that doesn't work, I'm not on here much anymore. I try to get involved with my tortoises but Big Bubba fills my mind 24/7 every minute all day


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## Isa (Apr 27, 2009)

maggie3fan said:


> He staggers when he walks, which is rare...(the walking not the staggering). But yesterday a couple of times he walked and pooped as he was walking. So I think now I need to think about how sick IS he, does he have a chance to recover and how should I handle the thinking about having him put to rest with dignity...and could I actually do that. It's awful and fills my mind all day. I try to read the forum to take my mind off of it...but that doesn't work, I'm not on here much anymore. I try to get involved with my tortoises but Big Bubba fills my mind 24/7 every minute all day



It must be terrible for you Maggie 
It is easy to see that you really love him, I am sure you will take the right decision. What did the vet says, does he think there is still a chance?


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## terryo (Apr 27, 2009)

I don't know how you are doing this alone Maggie. I just wish there was someone to help you. My thoughts and prayers are always with you.


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## DuttonWebb (Apr 27, 2009)

So sad. :[ Im sorry. Hes is tortoise heaven now. :']


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## Laura (Apr 27, 2009)

Maggie.. make sure the sodium isnt too high in the chicken broth. I think they have low or no sodium broth... 
Also.. subQ fluids would help him as well. check with your vet as to how much per day. but if he has toxins in his body, it will help flush them out and keep his kidneys strong.


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## Maggie Cummings (Apr 27, 2009)

DuttonWebb said:


> So sad. :[ Im sorry. Hes is tortoise heaven now. :']



He's my cat Dutton...my 15 yr old companion...my son said today that Big Bubba was a better husband to me then any of my 3...ha ha


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## FunnyGirl (Apr 27, 2009)

You know, I have been reading this post with a kind of happiness and sadness in my heart. Death is a much a part of Life as birth . I hope that when it comes time for the Lord to take my torts or my dogs, that they honor me - as you have been honored Maggie - to choose to die in my arms. For, despite the pain and grief I know will follow, I will know that I have been blessed to be chosen by my special friend to be a witness and to share the hardest and scariest moment of life - their death. Beakless needed you, he chose you, and we know he rejoiced in the warmth of your caring hands and radiating love as he moved on.

When it comes time for you to hold "Big Bubba" remember the greatest gift you can give to him is of yourself. I have a 15 1/2 year old dog who has been with me through some of the most trying times of my life including fighting chemical dependency (yep, nice way of saying drug addict) and I know that this year I too just may have to hold the Best Friend the Lord ever gave me as she makes the first step on the rest of her journey.

Your in my prayers


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