# Depression and Venting



## paarthurnax.tortoise (Jan 28, 2014)

I know I haven't been around on this forum for too long yet, but I feel like it's a good place with good understanding people to vent with.

I've been diagnosed with major depression for about...2 or 3 years now. Sometimes it gets to the point where I can't even go to my classes for days on row, which sucks because I'm attending college in a country literally on the other side of the world from the rest of my family, and it's times like this that I really feel alone.

My significant other can only do so much for me, since he is working 5 days out of the week.

Thankfully, since I've gotten Paarthurnax my Russian tortoise, I've been getting a little better. It helps motivate me to get up and out of bed and do household chores at the very least when I know there is something else relying on me for food and love and other stuff like that.

I don't really know what I mean to accomplish by posting this. I just felt like I needed to get stuff off my chest, I guess.

On another unrelated note, I hope everybody is keeping warm! It is ridiculously freezing here for me.


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## Cycere (Jan 28, 2014)

I know how you feel, I've been diagnosed with severe depression since the summer before fifth grade, so, about 6 years now give or take  Have you tried therapy, and medicine? For some people it helps, and for me it did for a little while. Sadly, they switched me to a sucky therapist and I grew an immunity to the medicine some time ago xD 
How old are you? After some time you'll learn to push it away for some time ^-^


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## paarthurnax.tortoise (Jan 28, 2014)

I am on two different kinds of medication at the moment, Effexor in the morning for the depression and Seroquel at night to help with the insomnia. And I do have a "care team", so yep, I have a therapist as well 

I'm 21 now. I'm hoping that I will learn to live with it sooner or later as well 



Cycere said:


> I know how you feel, I've been diagnosed with severe depression since the summer before fifth grade, so, about 6 years now give or take  Have you tried therapy, and medicine? For some people it helps, and for me it did for a little while. Sadly, they switched me to a sucky therapist and I grew an immunity to the medicine some time ago xD
> How old are you? After some time you'll learn to push it away for some time ^-^


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## Jacqui (Jan 28, 2014)

For me, I find my animals are the some what magical cure that keps me going. There are days, if it were not for them, I don't know if I would get out of bed. Because of them, I have to get up. Seriously, how can you ignore the eyes of an animal looking at you and depending on you and not give them your best shot. I may still have down days and I may still not get everything done, but I keep taking those baby steps and trying to remember to not focus on the big picture but on the little ones. I don't think my family has any idea how down I get sometimes, because as a mother and a wife I feel it's my job to pretend everything is fine and dandy.

I also find my yard with all it's tortoise enclosures and gardens is another way to deal with my depression. There is just something theraputic about digging in the soil, getting your hands dirty, and watching something you planted take hold and thrive. To be able to sit back let my senses take in everything from the smells of the soil to the flowers in bloom. To allow myself to unwind and let worries drift away on the same gentle breeze as the tall grasses are dancing to and the butterflies smoothly, gently are floating on. Which for me, is one reason I get much more down during the winter months when my yard is asleep.


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## Saleama (Jan 28, 2014)

I completly understand. i was on several meds for social anxiety, although I am out going, and stress related sleep issues, etc, etc... Anyway, I got three baby box turtles from my Uncle about 2 years ago. I immediatly started to feel much better. i got a few tortoises and began rescuing box turtles and tortoises from craigs list and before you know it, no meds, no stress, no anxiety. I feel great. The turtles and torts give me much more than taking care of them, I garden, I build things, I decorate, I rearrange. I experiment with heating and lighting... It all puts everything into a beter perspective that few can understand. It is different from owning a dog or a cat somehow. When I find myself slipping a little backwards, a good cricket round up cheers me right up. I turn a dozen crickets loose in the baby box turtle tank an wacth them hunt for hours!




Jacqui said:


> For me, I find my animals are the some what magical cure that keps me going. There are days, if it were not for them, I don't know if I would get out of bed. Because of them, I have to get up. Seriously, how can you ignore the eyes of an animal looking at you and depending on you and not give them your best shot. I may still have down days and I may still not get everything done, but I keep taking those baby steps and trying to remember to not focus on the big picture but on the little ones. I don't think my family has any idea how down I get sometimes, because as a mother and a wife I feel it's my job to pretend everything is fine and dandy.
> 
> I also find my yard with all it's tortoise enclosures and gardens is another way to deal with my depression. There is just something theraputic about digging in the soil, getting your hands dirty, and watching something you planted take hold and thrive. To be able to sit back let my senses take in everything from the smells of the soil to the flowers in bloom. To allow myself to unwind and let worries drift away on the same gentle breeze as the tall grasses are dancing to and the butterflies smoothly, gently are floating on. Which for me, is one reason I get much more down during the winter months when my yard is asleep.



This! So much. Get out there and make an enclosure for your tort. Buy some stuff at Wal-Mart or Lowes. It doesn't have to be alot and you can do so much with so little if you shop around. Another benefit! You can go shopping! LOL!!!


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## Cycere (Jan 28, 2014)

Holy crap, that was damn near poetic, Jacqui. 

And you will get better ^-^ Just make sure not to let it overcome you. Get to know who you truely are, or try to, so when things sound odd in your head to you, just push it away. However, don't push friends, family, kind strangers, AnyONE away, no matter how sucky tjings might get. Find ways to distract yoursself, and like they said, immerse yourself in Paarthurnax. Care for him and love him to the full


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## Yvonne G (Jan 28, 2014)

What part of the world are you in? I know that winter is bad for S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder).

Some days I don't feel like doing anything either, and I don't have depression. I will occasionally give in to it and just take the day off, read, eat, etc. But mostly, I have to get out there and take care of the animals, so I don't have time to be depressed.

I know it really helps to keep busy and try to not dwell on your problems. Coming to the Forum and trying to help someone with a tortoise problem would probably perk you up a bit too.

I hope you're feeling better soon.


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## Grandpa Turtle 144 (Jan 28, 2014)

Remember the reason we like torts is because they have their world on their back . When we feel like the world is on our back . But I hope you ladies feel better today cause we are with you . God bless


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## TortieLuver (Jan 28, 2014)

There are so many people who can relate and their pets help them get through the day or a hard time. I had a lady buy a couple hatchlings from me four years ago and we ended up close friends, even though we live across the country from each other. Prior to purchasing these tortoises from me, her husband died after 30 years of marriage and her health declined. Once she received her tortoises, they have been the reason for her to get up every morning and live. They are her family and it has really helped her mind, soul, and physical being isn't it remarkable how tortoises can play such a wonderful role in our lives


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## TortsNTurtles (Jan 28, 2014)

I used to before children do pet therapy. They always looked forward to the monthly visit. I would love to do it again in the future.


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## milkandsam (Jan 28, 2014)

I'm familiar with a lot of these struggles and I feel for you! I had a lot of anxiety issues through high school due to a long term boyfriends parents divorce. A lot of social anxiety and sadness. Now that I'm a little older (23) I'm thinking that some of it was due to hormones. I made the mistake of going to an adult psychologist instead of someone who deals with teenagers and he said I was a very well thought out individual and that maybe I should just write things down. Needless to say, I left and I never went back. I now have a dog, 2 geckos, a Greek tortoise and a beta fish and a wonderful fiancÃ©... I hope everything gets better for you. If you ever just want to vent, feel free to pm me.  we are all here supporting you!!


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## bouaboua (Jan 28, 2014)

May God be your strength and hope, we are here to listen, to pray for you.

Best wish to you and your family. Sun will rise and shine soon (inwardly and outwardly).


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## goReptiles (Jan 28, 2014)

I'm with Jacqui. If i didn't have my animals, I couldn't say where i would be. I'm on a few meds myself, but before I was on meds and I was Inge spots, my pets always helped me. I still feel breakthroughs but those get pushed away most of the time. I need to be needed, so my pets have helped me loads. The first time I dislocated my knee, I was in tears watching someone else care for my animals. Needless to say on crutches, I was cleaning chinchilla cares until I got better. I really wish you well. Therapy may help you figure out the cause, from there it is up hill. I've only been one time, but I'm able to figure out why I do what I do which helps my anxieties and some control issues in the end. The therapist never told me anything I didn't know about why I do what I do. 

But finding hobbies that take your mind away help. I suggest writing or keeping a journal. It will help even if you don't flat out write down the days events and how they made you feel.


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## Tom (Jan 28, 2014)

Jacqui said:


> For me, I find my animals are the some what magical cure that keps me going. There are days, if it were not for them, I don't know if I would get out of bed. Because of them, I have to get up. Seriously, how can you ignore the eyes of an animal looking at you and depending on you and not give them your best shot. I may still have down days and I may still not get everything done, but I keep taking those baby steps and trying to remember to not focus on the big picture but on the little ones. I don't think my family has any idea how down I get sometimes, because as a mother and a wife I feel it's my job to pretend everything is fine and dandy.
> 
> I also find my yard with all it's tortoise enclosures and gardens is another way to deal with my depression. There is just something theraputic about digging in the soil, getting your hands dirty, and watching something you planted take hold and thrive. To be able to sit back let my senses take in everything from the smells of the soil to the flowers in bloom. To allow myself to unwind and let worries drift away on the same gentle breeze as the tall grasses are dancing to and the butterflies smoothly, gently are floating on. Which for me, is one reason I get much more down during the winter months when my yard is asleep.



Jacqui, For all our differences, we have so much in common. Both of the above paragraphs describe my viewpoint to a "T". I LOVE building environments for my tortoises and seeing them enjoy the "fruits" of my labors.




Yvonne G said:


> Some days I don't feel like doing anything either, and I don't have depression. I will occasionally give in to it and just take the day off, read, eat, etc. But mostly, I have to get out there and take care of the animals, so I don't have time to be depressed.
> 
> I know it really helps to keep busy and try to not dwell on your problems. Coming to the Forum and trying to help someone with a tortoise problem would probably perk you up a bit too.



Ditto for you Yvonne. I don't have a lot time for "feelings" one way or the other. I've got animals to take care of.

When I think about it, and relate this to the young posters above, I suppose all this obsession with animals became one of my coping mechanisms to help me deal with a really rough childhood.

And SAD runs in my family too. The area where I live has more sunny days than just about anywhere else in the country, and this really helps.


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## lisa127 (Jan 29, 2014)

I'm another one too. Animals are my therapy. And like was mentioned above, creating their environments and watching them thrive.


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## paarthurnax.tortoise (Jan 29, 2014)

I live in Indiana, where we're all freezing our butts off at the moment  I don't know if SAD is a thing for me though, since I feel this way most of the year round. 



Yvonne G said:


> What part of the world are you in? I know that winter is bad for S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder).
> 
> Some days I don't feel like doing anything either, and I don't have depression. I will occasionally give in to it and just take the day off, read, eat, etc. But mostly, I have to get out there and take care of the animals, so I don't have time to be depressed.
> 
> ...



And thank you to everybody and their warm wishes!


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## terryo (Jan 29, 2014)

I guess I feel very similar to Jacque. There was a time in my life I didn't get out of bed for a year. I had a little boy to take care of too, but he mostly took care of me. I re homed all my box turtles, and some were pretty old. It was an effort just to get up and breathe and I really didn't care if I ever got out of bed. One day I heard some loud noise in my yard, and after an hour I decided to get up and see what was going on. It was one of my older sons banging away, destroying the deck, and everything else in the yard. When I opened the window and yelled...what the hell are you doing?....he said I better get out of bed and tell him how I want the yard. He was making me a turtle garden. It took two days of laying in the bed listening to the digging and banging, but I finally got up and took an interest in what was going on. Little by little, turtle by turtle, I started to live again. I had a lot of making up to do to my little son, and everyone else that worried about me. I still have very bad days, especially around the holidays, but going in the yard and feeding my turtles, and pulling weeds and just looking at all the beautiful flowers really helps me a lot. I always take a few babies in for the Winter. I spend a lot of time cleaning and planting in little vivariums for the little ones, in the Winter, and count the days until Spring.
This is what helped me want to live again. Find a project, and put everything you have into it...it really helps. I will pray for you and hope you feel better soon.


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## StarSapphire22 (Jan 29, 2014)

I get where you're coming from. Terryo, I used to be that bad too, and it happened my first semester of college...meaning I paid 9,000 dollars for failed classes. Luckily I decided one night to try the animal approach and got a little fish. I got out of the dorms for the first time in a week and went upstairs to show him to a friend. By some stroke of luck, I met my fiance there that night, he was working on a project with my friend's roomate. We hit it off right away. I always knew I could let him in, and he's been my rock for 3 years. 

My problem is that I have depression AND anxiety. I care too much about things but can't make myself get up and do them sometimes. I get obsessive about things for a period of time and then lose interest. I can't afford insurance and so I have been off my meds for years, and it's just an inner war with me, myself, and I a lot of the time. My fiance helps as best he can. 

I just try and remember that every time I let my depression keep me in bed or my anxiety keep me at home, I could be missing out on an amazing opportunity, even if I don't know it yet. If I hadn't gotten my fish that day, and gotten out of bed, I never would have met the love of my life. I probably wouldn't even be alive anymore.


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## TortsNTurtles (Jan 29, 2014)

terryo said:


> I guess I feel very similar to Jacque. There was a time in my life I didn't get out of bed for a year. I had a little boy to take care of too, but he mostly took care of me. I re homed all my box turtles, and some were pretty old. It was an effort just to get up and breathe and I really didn't care if I ever got out of bed. One day I heard some loud noise in my yard, and after an hour I decided to get up and see what was going on. It was one of my older sons banging away, destroying the deck, and everything else in the yard. When I opened the window and yelled...what the hell are you doing?....he said I better get out of bed and tell him how I want the yard. He was making me a turtle garden. It took two days of laying in the bed listening to the digging and banging, but I finally got up and took an interest in what was going on. Little by little, turtle by turtle, I started to live again. I had a lot of making up to do to my little son, and everyone else that worried about me. I still have very bad days, especially around the holidays, but going in the yard and feeding my turtles, and pulling weeds and just looking at all the beautiful flowers really helps me a lot. I always take a few babies in for the Winter. I spend a lot of time cleaning and planting in little vivariums for the little ones, in the Winter, and count the days until Spring.
> This is what helped me want to live again. Find a project, and put everything you have into it...it really helps. I will pray for you and hope you feel better soon.



This brought tears to my eyes. I am sure it really makes your turtle garden even a special place.


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## terryo (Jan 29, 2014)

This is the best advice I can give to you, besides throwing yourself into a long term project. WALK! If you have a dog, go for long walks with him. If you don't, go to your local rescue and get one. You will have a best friend, soneone to hug, someone who needs you and a walking partner. I think that besides my gardens, walking and my three dogs saved my life. If for some reason you can't get a dog, just walk yourself as much as you can. You can't imagine the difference it will make in your life. I have a large family, and I raised 5 sons. They all live near me. When one of my son's died, my world ended. I thought I couldn't go on, and no one in my family could help me. Strange, even though we are a very close family, I needed more. Walking and my animals and my garden really helped me. Hugs...and God bless you.


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## TortsNTurtles (Jan 29, 2014)

There is nothing like being in God's creation. That is how it was meant to be from the beginning. Gardens, woods , oceans, lakes, blue skies, and stary nights along with His created creatures is great therapy. 

Terryo I am also a mom of many boys. I can't imagine loosing a child.


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