# Sexism



## Kayti (Jan 18, 2010)

This is probably going to be my last post here. 
Blatant sexism went unchecked in the debatable topics thread, and those few good people who called it out had their comments deleted, even in a thread about badmouthing. 
The mods are afraid to call certain people out because they have recognizable names in the reptile community, and itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s clearly detrimental to the atmosphere of this forum. 
I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t want to be associated with a community that condones sexism. This is an issue I have always been passionate about, and itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s really sad to see such ignorance on a forum I once respected. 

Thank you to those of you who befriended me and helped me with Mona, Ed, and Delaware. I hope the tortoise forum can become a peaceful community again someday.


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## Candy (Jan 18, 2010)

The mods are afraid to call certain people out because they have recognizable names in the reptile community, and itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s clearly detrimental to the atmosphere of this forum.

I've got to admit I can't exactly disagree with this comment.


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## Yvonne G (Jan 18, 2010)

I think that in today's "politically correctness" we are going overboard in interpreting what is PC or not. Would it have been any different if he had said, "...leave your emotions home with your significant other."


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## Jacqui (Jan 18, 2010)

I am sorry you both feel this way. I don't think there is anybody in this forum I would not call out. I try to bring to their attention what problems I see first by PMs.


As to the "blantant" sexism comment, as I told you in a post that was deleted as off topic, I didn't like it myself. Do I personally think it was blantant sexism, no. Once I read how you and others felt, I did go back and remove that comment. Did I care who it was who had written it? No. What I cared about was how it was making several members feel.

Yvonne, for me it would have made no difference whom he said to leave their emotions home with. I also will say this, after reading some of what Tyler later said about that comment, I also can where he meant simply to not let emotions into the debate (which is when we normally lower ourselves to name calling, ect..,).


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## chadk (Jan 18, 2010)

Just to offer some food for thought:

Emotional Wiring Different in Men and Women
http://www.livescience.com/health/060419_brain_wiring.html

Men and Women Really Do Think Differently
http://www.livescience.com/health/050120_brain_sex.html


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## Redfoot NERD (Jan 18, 2010)

Hi guys.. [ to be 'politically correct? ].. "Sexism" is/has been not the only thing left unchecked - until _maybe_? recently?

One of my favorite "one-liners":

"Ignorance is not knowing.. Stupidity is defending it".

Choose your partner...

NERD

BTW.. YES.. "order" can be peaceful.. only to those who want it!

[ I think and type so slow I always lose my place in posting ]


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## Meg90 (Jan 18, 2010)

It was a sexist COMMENT. And saying THAT should be completely allowed on this forum--as we have discussed in other threads recently, to comment on a post is completely legit.

If he didn't want to be sexist, he should have said "Leave the emotion at home, and you'll be fine"

The things that made it sexist are: that he had to leave the emotions with the females--and that the females are at "home" instead of out in the real world etc.


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## Jacqui (Jan 18, 2010)

Meg90 said:


> The things that made it sexist are: that he had to leave the emotions with the females--and that the females are at "home" instead of out in the real world etc.


I agreed with you to a point Meg, but not with this one. First he never wrote that. This is an example of where somebody (in this case you) are taking their own feelings, beliefs, emotions, ect.., and are reading into a statement/comment something not really there, it's in your mind. It's human to do that, we all do it, even without knowing it. So should that make the original written statement wrong, no I don't think so.


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## kimber_lee_314 (Jan 18, 2010)

I'm relatively new, but I hope no one will leave this forum. It has been invaluable for me in learning about and sharing my opinions with others. Even though this is the OT section I think we all need to remember this forum is about turtle/tortoises and our goal should be to support each other in this. I am very sad to hear that people are saying unkind things to each other and we are losing valuable people because of it.


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## Maggie Cummings (Jan 18, 2010)

There's only one recognizable name on this forum and we would all call him out if necessary. You guys are all pissed off because you say us moderators aren't doing a good job, then when we do edit where we think it should be you all ***** about the editing. There's a couple of members whining something crazy and it's breaking up the forum. Some want more rules but when they are added you complain about that too. Whiners and snivelers are causing a lot of discord now and it has to stop.


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## Jacqui (Jan 18, 2010)

kimber_lee_314 said:


> I'm relatively new, but I hope no one will leave this forum. It has been invaluable for me in learning about and sharing my opinions with others. Even though this is the OT section I think we all need to remember this forum is about turtle/tortoises and our goal should be to support each other in this. I am very sad to hear that people are saying unkind things to each other and we are losing valuable people because of it.



Very well said. Folks please read what was said...."I think we all need to remember this forum is about turtle/tortoises and our goal should be to support each other in this"


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## Candy (Jan 18, 2010)

Can we stop the name calling? This is the third thread where I have read the same name calling today. Just because someone complains does not constitute them as a whiner. I think that is very belittling to someone to call them that.


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## sharon smith (Jan 18, 2010)

maggie3fan said:


> There's only one recognizable name on this forum and we would all call him out if necessary. You guys are all pissed off because you say us moderators aren't doing a good job, then when we do edit where we think it should be you all **** about the editing. There's a couple of members whining something crazy and it's breaking up the forum. Some want more rules but when they are added you complain about that too. Whiners and snivelers are causing a lot of discord now and it has to stop.



Im new to this site but had to add good on you chick. i liked your comment. Go Girl.


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## Stephanie Logan (Jan 19, 2010)

I just want to say I am sorry for escalating an argument that already was showing signs of going off-rule, so to speak. 

I agree with the moderator who asked me not to get sucked into public mud-slinging. Though I did continue to debate the issues, I took it to the PM "zone", which I should have done at the beginning. I am not sorry for my unsuccessful attempt to defend certain folks against what I considered an unprovoked attack, but I can see where my posts did not help the forum and did not change anyone's opinions, actions or definitions. 

Kayti, please stay. Meg and Maggie, please come back. This forum needs you all. I don't think the OP or the other person had any conscious intention of their posts wreaking this much havoc. There really is room here for people to disagree, but it's also the moderators job to ask us impassioned proclaimers to take a step back, or maybe sideways....


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## -ryan- (Jan 22, 2010)

There's a problem with typing, and that is that it is ambiguous. There is no inflection when you are typing, so there is really no reasonable way to judge a person's emotions or the true meaning behind the words. I could type 'You all need to stop whining' and you wouldn't know if I was saying it to be serious, sarcastic, playful, etc. (playful )

Interpretation is everything when it comes to the written word. I actually originally interpreted the statement as meaning that he tries not to think with his emotions, and the reference to his wife at home I thought was more or less stating that that is when he allows his emotions to come into play (love is an emotion, and it's usually expressed to a spouse in the home). However, after reading it again I can see where it may have been interpreted to mean something else, but none of us really knows for sure what he meant.

Some of you may be thinking that I am just defending him because I am a guy. I ask of you, who is the sexist one?


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## DoctorCosmonaut (Jan 23, 2010)

Ryan, I think you are one of the few people who explained their thought process... thank you.


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