A little Dissapointed....

[NewTurtleMommy]

Hi. I have come to this forum a handful of times because I aquired a Box Turtle as a rescue. I am an avid animal lover, but new to turtles, so I asked alot of inane questions and bugged alot of the members who are quite educated, to make sure I was giving Booker the best possible life. I have been busy and just had the opprotunity to come on here again, and was looking thru posts and noticed the little Sulcata Chevy that belonged to the younger member Marty passed away. I was suprised and sad for her, so began skimming her posts and threads regarding Chevy's death.

Wow. That is all I can say. Wow.

Forums are great in the fact that when you need advice you can get it from people "in the know"...but I have noticed that forums are also a nest of "I know more than you, and everything you do is wrong". I could not believe some of the things that were said to that poor girl. The rudeness, the callousness-it was disgusting. I like to consider myself a guru on Chihuahua care. LOVE Chihuahuas. Own three. Could tell you anything about them, how to care for them in a crisis, dietary needs, hereditary problems, etc...I even have a blog with our local paper here. NEVER would I even think of bashing anyone the way this poor girl was. What the heck is the matter with the few of you who acted this way? Do I get frustrated when people take on Chihuahuas that cant afford them/do not have a lot of experience with them? Of course I do. I assume because my babies are healthy and happy that I am doing everything right. .but people do not come on forums to be picked on or reminded of mistakes they have made (SHE IS 15!!!!). For Godssake I am 38 and have seven animals inside my home and was lost on how to care for my turtle-hence my coming here. I cant do it anymore. I want to thank Terryo and Yvonne and any others I have forgotten for all your kind words and advice-however I cannot bring myself to remain on a forum where people are rude and insensitive and cannot take into consideration someone's lack of knowledge or age. I wish you all Happy Holidays and health and happiness for all your turtle babies.

 

[Shelly]

http://tortoiseforum.org/Thread-Chevy-thread-comments-age-appropiate-etc

 

[Kristina]

I am very sorry that you feel this way.

I recognize that some of the things that were said were out of line. However - you are judging a community of over 5,000 members on the actions of a few. I find that a little hurtful, myself.

I hope that you understand that not everyone on this forum is "rude and insensitive and cannot take into consideration someone's lack of knowledge or age." I have a family, a rescue, lots of my own animals to care for, and a full time job, and yet dedicate hours out of my life every day to come here and help those that need it. If that paints me in the light of being rude and insensitive, then I am very confused as to what those words mean.

I hope you can take that into consideration, and have a change of heart. At any rate, have a happy and safe holiday season, and good luck to you and your little box turtle.

 

[Angi]

New Tort Mommy~ One of the problems with a forum is also that the tone can come across wrong same with email. Some things were said to Marty that maybe shouldn't have been said, but she had way more suport here and a lot of very good advice. If you read further you would see that Marty is not leaving the forum and is on her way to becoming an expert.
I hope you don't leave a forum many because of the words of few.

 

[Neal]

Everyone has a right to their own opinion, and for that matter everyone has the right to how they conduct themselves. When you read words on a computer screen it's sometimes difficult to understand the writer’s context and intention. Maybe some of the things that were said in that thread could have been more appropriately said in a PM or directed to a different thread, but I wouldn't go as far as to say she was being bashed. It really helps to step back and try not to take things personally.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is that we're all here to share knowledge and experiences. Some people will share that in different ways that some of us don't understand. I think we would all be better off if we left our feelings at the door and chose to disregard posts that we feel are rude or bashing. Since I have been here I have seen a few people become offended and leave. One such individual is highly respected in the tortoise community, but has chosen not to contribute their experiences here anymore. I wonder what information they could have shared, or hobbyists they could have helped if they didn't allow themselves to become offended? Even the newest keeper will have something of benefit to someone out there. This forum is a great resource and I think by leaving you would do a great disservice to the turtle and tortoise community.

 

[Kenny]

I'm gonna assume that you're referring to me (rude, callous, etc ).
And yeah maybe I am, but I'm done apologizing. My timing was bad, and I owned up to that, but I strongly stand behind everything I said.

Disgusting you say..? ya know what I think is disgusting? That I got grilled for stating an opinion. I've defended myself repeatedly for this, in the nicest , calmest manner,possible. It seems to me that I'm getting grilled because she's only 15... So what? because she's younger then many of us, that means we have to walk on egg shells? or should we treat everyone as equals?

look , I'm sure I made plenty of enemies here over the whole Chevy thing, and thats fine..but its time to let it go, and move on. I apologized, my apology was accepted.. its over.

If u want to leave, then leave. But to leave because I voiced my opinion in a less then friendly manner.. thats just weak.

 

[Candy]

I read this thread so have to post.....You're leaving but the one that was supposedly insulted is staying? Now I'm really confused. I went back and read all of your posts and the replies to them. There was a lot of people on here that helped you with your turtle....are you sure you want to leave? You probably should take a time out and think about what would be best for your turtle. :shy:

 

[Tom]

You just can't have a conversation with over 5000 people and have no one EVER say anything questionable, exercise bad judgement, or use bad timing. I'm certainly guilty of all of the above.

What I don't understand is discounting the vast majority of good advice, support and friendship extended her way because of a few comments that didn't sit well with you. What about all the good comments. They outnumbered the bad tenfold.

Everyone has different standards, but I did not see any bashing, rudeness, callousness or anything disgusting.

...and Kenny, stop apologizing. It wasn't that bad and it really wasn't wrong, just poorly timed in my opinion. You have admitted as much and YOU are a valued member here too. You certainly don't deserve to be crucified...

 

[SILVERSTAR]

Well now that thats off our chest's lol....

 

[onarock]

Way to go Kenny. Joking, Im just Joking. It was a lively debate that took a few turns and......well......is it grey or gray? Ha!

 

[Torty Mom]

I heard.........
grAy = American
grEy = European

Hmmmmmmm