Asking new posters their real names.

[Shelly]

Like many of you, I have children that spend a lot of time on the internet.

It's important to monitor your children's activity on the internet, and teach them how to use it safely.
When my kids first asked me if they could post on forums and message boards, I set some rules.

Rule #1. DON'T tell anybody your real name!
Rule #2. DON'T tell anybody where you live!

When somebody new posts here, the first thing that happens is a bunch of people chime in with "Hi! What's your name? Where do you live?"
This question is asked before we know if the poster is a 50 year old man or a 10 year old girl.
Let's pretend a pedophile who lives in Flower Clump Texas,and he likes to lurk massage boards to look for kids.
Some kid comes here and posts about his tortoise, and then, ONLY after being asked by several people, says I'm Jimmy, I'm 10 years old, an I live in Flower Clump, Texas!
Pedophile thinks "Wow, big chance!!" He sends Jimmy a PM , and asks him "Hey, wanna ride your bike over to my house and see all my super rare tortoises?"

The internet should be as safe for kids as we can make it. Asking kids to reveal their identities online is not a good idea.

 

[jaizei]

I think the more important thing would be asking why a 10 year old child is on the internet unsupervised. Parents need to be responsible for their children.

 

[lynnedit]

I think they want a first name only so we don't have to call people by their forum name which are often long and, well, strange.
No last names are expected.
To give advice about torts, members need to know the general area they live in. It could be a county and state, for that matter. But you can't give advice w/o it. No addresses are expected.
You sure are right, however, in that parents need to be vigilant about their kids' internet use.
No person of any age should communicate personal information w/o some verification. Those under 18 should not do it w/o parents' involvement, period.

 

[Shelly]

I think the more important thing would be asking why a 10 year old child is on the internet unsupervised.

Because maybe their parents aren't as vigilant as they should be? Does that mean that you consider them "Fair game"?

 

[lynnedit]

I certainly did not get that message from the post. Just to be cautious.

 

[CtTortoiseMom]

I think the more important thing would be asking why a 10 year old child is on the internet unsupervised. Parents need to be responsible for their children.

Exactly, I have kids and they are not aloud on forums, facebook or games that randomly pick people or have a chat option. I have seen people post pictures of their own children with their school name or worse! I personally think that children should not be on forums or in chat rooms. Sorry kids. I especially worry about these kids youthful mistakes being online for college admission departments to google.

---

I think the more important thing would be asking why a 10 year old child is on the internet unsupervised.

Because maybe their parents aren't as vigilant as they should be? Does that mean that you consider them "Fair game"?

A pedophile certainly would.

 

[yagyujubei]

I would be in favor of a "junior membership" for all members under 18. That way we would instantly know when we are addressing a minor child. Just the other day, there was a heated discussion between several adults and a 14 year old kid from Hong Kong.I don't understand why kids today have free reign pretty much anywhere with no apparant restrictions.

 

[CtTortoiseMom]

I would be in favor of a "junior membership" for all members under 18. That way we would instantly know when we are addressing a minor child. Just the other day, there was a heated discussion between several adults and a 15 year old kid from Hong Kong.I don't understand why kids today have free reign pretty much anywhere with no apparant restrictions.

I feel that showing all the members that they are speaking to a child might endanger them even more if their is an unsavory character lurking around.

 

[yagyujubei]

Then I recommend we ban all children from this site, for their own safety.

I would be in favor of a "junior membership" for all members under 18. That way we would instantly know when we are addressing a minor child. Just the other day, there was a heated discussion between several adults and a 15 year old kid from Hong Kong.I don't understand why kids today have free reign pretty much anywhere with no apparant restrictions.

I feel that showing all the members that they are speaking to a child might endanger them even more if their is an unsavory character lurking around.

 

[llaperle]

I too think that it is only reasonable on this forum to ask for a first name and country of origin. It guides many discussions and much advice.

In each household with children the rules and parameters of internet use are the responsibility of the adults to both inform and enforce. It's no different than teaching safe biking or walking to school. To help with this there are also of course many parental controls that can be placed on internet viewing to keep things safe.

IMHO nothing that happens here is unsafe or inappropriate.

 

[Tim/Robin]

My kids know how to answer both of those questions. NOPE, and NOPE. I am with you on this one Shelly. It is not a good idea to even ask. The person seeking advice can do so in a way that does not reveal location or age.

I also feel that if the content on the forum is kept appropriate and in accordance with the rules, there is no reason for a "junior membership". I must commend the MODS for keeping inappropriate content out of site!!

 

[ascott]

I would be in favor of a "junior membership" for all members under 18.

I think that this would be awesome....and great thread to come together on.

 

[jaizei]

I think the more important thing would be asking why a 10 year old child is on the internet unsupervised.

Because maybe their parents aren't as vigilant as they should be? Does that mean that you consider them "Fair game"?

I think that many people do not understand the Internet. There are many times when it's like a whole new round of 'stranger danger' (thanks To Catch a Predator). Statistically, if a child is preyed upon, it will be by an acquaintance or family member. Something like your hypothetical from the OP is very unlikely.

Then I recommend we ban all children from this site, for their own safety.

I would be in favor of a "junior membership" for all members under 18. That way we would instantly know when we are addressing a minor child. Just the other day, there was a heated discussion between several adults and a 15 year old kid from Hong Kong.I don't understand why kids today have free reign pretty much anywhere with no apparant restrictions.

I feel that showing all the members that they are speaking to a child might endanger them even more if their is an unsavory character lurking around.

Technically, kids under 13 aren't supposed to be able to sign up without consent from parents. So in reality, anytime a new member reveals their age to be less than 13 they should be banned.

I think the more important thing would be asking why a 10 year old child is on the internet unsupervised. Parents need to be responsible for their children.

Exactly, I have kids and they are not aloud on forums, facebook or games that randomly pick people or have a chat option. I have seen people post pictures of their own children with their school name or worse! I personally think that children should not be on forums or in chat rooms. Sorry kids. I especially worry about these kids youthful mistakes being online for college admission departments to google.

I think that's the way to go. Do you have an age when you think you'll ease the restrictions? If I had kids, it'd be 25.

 

[CtTortoiseMom]

@ Jaizei: My rule is that they are not allowed to be google-able until they get into college. Harsh, I know but I believe it is necessary and I have been to enough police run internet safety courses to know that the danger is very real. I will never reveal their names and I have google alerts on all of our names in case one of their friends post's a picture of them on FB or something.

On topic: I feel that asking a name and location is kind of welcoming.

 

[SulcataSquirt]

I don't think anyone young enough to fall for the "hey you wanna see my tortoises" should be on the forum. But I also don't think only 18+ should be allowed. We have quite a bit of valuable members that are under 18, but above 13.
Hopefully anyone that answers what's your name and your location should also know they can just say name and basic location - like Crystal from Missouri but leave out city. The location helps for those members requesting information for their outside tortoises and as Yvonne said before on another thread it's nice to call others by first name rather than usernames.
If a internet pedophile really wanted to find you they could, I'm sure a lot have ways of computer hacking. At least that's all my opinion.

 

[StudentoftheReptile]

I do have to say that this is the only forum where people are asked their names and locations. I have kinda pondered it occasionally, but never really felt that strongly about it one way or another until this thread.

Forums like this have usernames for a reason. Personally, if people wanted you to know their first name, they'd put it in their username (like Tom, Josh, etc...lol). Now personally, I don't care if anyone knows my first name and the city I live in (there are at least 5 other people who share my first and last name in the same city!). But all the concerns about internet safety and whatnot are absolutely warranted.

In retrospect, I have seen on numerous occasions where a new member joins and asks a question somewhere other than the Introductions section and the first thing anyone does before even acknowledging the question is "Can we know your name? And where you're from?" Perhaps I'm reading a little too much into it, but if I were on the outside looking in, it almost seemed like their question wouldn't be answered unless they told everyone their name. Now I know that is not the case, but that is the impression I get sometimes [shrugs].

I can understand why everyone wants to know, but at the same time, is it really that big deal? Once again, this is coming from someone who has almost always addressed fellow forum members by their usernames. In fact, I gave my name in my introduction thread, and if I recall correctly, I believe only one person has ever actually addressed me on this forum by my real name. Now again, I could care less either way...just sayin. How important is it really to have to type that question out everytime a new member posts?

On the flip side, a new member can always choose NOT to divulge their name or location, and IMHO, they are probably the wiser for doing so.

 

[Jacqui]

I would be in favor of a "junior membership" for all members under 18.

I think that this would be awesome....and great thread to come together on.

If I were a pedophile, that is exactly the section I would be joining. There is no way to tell if a person is of a certain age or anything else on here. We have to go by what they (the member) decided to reveal to us. There are a few folks who are in here or have been members here, whom I think fabricate a lot of their information. Which is fine with me, as long as it is not being done to cause harm. I do not personally like lies, but I can understand the need some folks feel about doing so.

When (if I have even asked this question) ask where somebody is from on the open forum, I am wanting as a rule to know a general area, not a specific town. Also it seems often we ask, not so much for a name, but what do you want to be called. I always thought the name to be called was offering a friendship, the location is to help give the user better care information. Once more, anybody with any concerns can offer false information.

 

[lynnedit]

Again, you need to know the general location someone lives in to be able to advise about tortoise care. People ask questions about their outside enclosures, temps, plants, on and on. That's all.
As far as a first name, it may be old fashioned, but calling someone 'tortoisejerk', for example, seems kind of weird.
Those who are cautious can make up a first name, just something easy.

 

[StudentoftheReptile]

Again, you need to know the general location someone lives in to be able to advise about tortoise care. People ask questions about their outside enclosures, temps, plants, on and on. That's all.

I agree...only if they're asking questions about keeping their tortoise(s) outdoors. I personally don't think they have to tell everyone where they live right when they walk in the door, so to speak.

As far as a first name, it may be old fashioned, but calling someone 'tortoisejerk', for example, seems kind of weird.
Those who are cautious can make up a first name, just something easy.

Maybe its part of that disconnect the tortoise community has from the rest of the herp hobby. People have been calling me "ShiningSnakes" for years on other forums.

And are you implying that everyone HAS to have a "real" name to be accepted into the forum?

 

[lynnedit]

No, they can have a fake name, just make it easy. Shiningsnakes is easy. Some of them are not.
It is just personal preference.
I don't think either question is a big deal as long as it is kept general.