Bad jokes

Snoopy’s mom

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A cabbie picks up a nun. The nun notices the cabbie keeps staring at her, so she asks why he is staring. The cabbie replies that heʻs always had a fantasy of kissing a nun. The nun says that she will kiss him if he is single and Catholic. The cab driver says ʻI am both!" so the nun says "pull into that ally" The nun kisses the cabbie in a way that would make a hooker blush. Then the cabbie starts crying and tells the nun that he lied. He is married and Jewish. The nun replies "Thatʻs okay, my name is Kevin, and Iʻm going to a Halloween party."
 

Jan A

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So he buried his bone
A lady goes into a grocery store & asks Customer Service "What's the very best dry dog food I can buy here & have delivered to my home?" The clerk asks why? She says, "my husband thinks he's a dog & insists on dry dog food for dinner."

So the grocery store delivers the 1st time & for several months thereafter.

Finally, one day the lady refuses delivery & says future deliveries won't be necessary. "Well, why not?" "My husband died last night." "That's terrible. How'd he die?"

"He was sitting on the couch trying to lick his balls, fell off the couch & broke his neck."
 

Chubbs the tegu

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So Snoopy steps out of the shower and winks at me and says “ i shaved, u know what that means?” So i look back and say “ another bill from the plumber”
 

Snoopy’s mom

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My all-time favorite is Pink Panther Strikes Again when Peter Sellers is going to extract Charles Dreyfusʻs tooth and theyʻre using laughing gas and Peter Sellersʻ nose starts melting. Not sure if that was all ad-lib, but they played that scene so well. I almost pee my pants every time I watch that scene. RIP Peter and Charles

Pink Panther Strikes Again
 
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