I promise I told the truth. And for some insane reason they still like me ?
Bad jokes
- Thread starter Chubbs the tegu
- Start date
It pays to listen to a dummy sometimes ? I figured out my furnace all by myself. It needs to be plugged in.?the faucet works now thanks to my son ? and I have internet WiFi phone and etc because the company finally decided to just flip the on switch. You can't even believe that situation. Ok I'm nuts by now ?
Chubbs the tegu
Well-Known Member
I broke my arm in 2 places today so i went to the doc...he told me to stop going to those places smh
Chubbs the tegu
Well-Known Member
Mountains are just not funny... they’re hill areas
Chubbs the tegu
Well-Known Member
So i was at the atm today and an old lady ask me “ excuse me sir i forgot my glasses.. can u check my balance?.. so i pushed her
Chubbs the tegu
Well-Known Member
Her balance was not to great
Chubbs the tegu
Well-Known Member
So an old lady goes to her dentist. The dentist walks in and sees her laying down naked with legs up. He says “ Cathie! Im a dentist not a gyno !” She says “ I know.. i need u to check my husbands teeth
And then she said ur going to need serious help ?
Chubbs the tegu
Well-Known Member
My doc said i should watch my drinking... i bought a mirror
I say live in Denial. It's more fun. And besides that you'd have to look at yourself ?
The teacher asks the class to use the word fascinate in a sentence. Johnny in the front room raises his hand and the teacher thinking oh, no, not Dirty Johnny... she picks Sally. Sally says "we went to the museum and I was fascinated," The teacher says thatʻs good, but the word is "fascinate". The teacher has to pick Johnny since he is the only other student raising his hand, and Johnny says "I have an aunt that has a sweater with 11 buttons. But her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight.
TheLastGreen
Well-Known Member
A teacher asked a student to use dandelion in a sentence, he said :"Easy, the buck ran faster dan-de-lion."
TheLastGreen
Well-Known Member
Another one: What does a beaver say when it slips in a puddle?
Damn it
Damn it
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Ahhhh
Ahhh who?
Werewolves in London
Who’s there?
Ahhhh
Ahhh who?
Werewolves in London
Jan A
Well-Known Member
One of my favorite songs!! They just don't write 'em like this anymore.
I read that by law you must turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden, but how am I supposed to know when it is raining in Sweden?
Oh dear! ?
We all know about Murphy’s Law: anything that can go wrong will go wrong. But have you heard of Cole’s Law?
It’s thinly sliced cabbage.
It’s thinly sliced cabbage.
Chubbs the tegu
Well-Known Member
What has 2 legs and lives off dead beetles?
Chubbs the tegu
Well-Known Member
Yoko Ono
