Bad jokes

Chubbs the tegu

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A middle aged woman wakes up from vaginal tuck surgery and saw 3 flower bouquets. Upon reading the notes, the first was from the surgeon saying she did great. The second was from her husband saying he can’t wait to see her. The third was from a man in the burn unit saying thanks for the ears.
Dont worry.. just the q-TIP
 

Snoopy’s mom

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Senior pick up jokes:
Come here often? If you do, can you tell me where I am?

That pretty smile of yours would sure look good in a glass on my nightstand

Hey baby, wanna help me test my hip replacement?
 

ZEROPILOT

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Hello there.
I hadn't realized that this thread had all but died too. (Pretend chat)
Does anyone here have any experience with a PACEMAKER?
Apparently I may need one and it's bothering the Hell out of me.
Thanks.
 

Cathie G

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Hello there.
I hadn't realized that this thread had all but died too. (Pretend chat)
Does anyone here have any experience with a PACEMAKER?
Apparently I may need one and it's bothering the Hell out of me.
Thanks.
My dad could have used one when he was 38 years old. I wish they would have looked at that option for him. I can only hope your joking. But if they saw that you really need one I'll be glad that they helped you 🙏 I would hate to loose you.😘
 

Jan A

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Hello there.
I hadn't realized that this thread had all but died too. (Pretend chat)
Does anyone here have any experience with a PACEMAKER?
Apparently I may need one and it's bothering the Hell out of me.
Thanks.
My mother-in-law got a pacemaker in her early or mid-80s. She lived to 96 (died early 2021) when either her full dementia, complications from dementia or her COVID shot did her in. She got at least annual checks on the pacemaker & replacing the battery wasn't a big deal. She still had 1-1/2 yrs left on the battery when she died. Her symptoms that made the pacemaker necessary were mainly dizziness & feeling faint. She took 1 pill/day that supplemented the pacemaker but I have no idea what it was. She wasn't athletic & refused to clean house, so I have no idea how or if the pacemaker restricts activities.

I hope you're getting good advice & treatment from your medical team. This old age stuff sucks.
 

Cathie G

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My mother-in-law got a pacemaker in her early or mid-80s. She lived to 96 (died early 2021) when either her full dementia, complications from dementia or her COVID shot did her in. She got at least annual checks on the pacemaker & replacing the battery wasn't a big deal. She still had 1-1/2 yrs left on the battery when she died. Her symptoms that made the pacemaker necessary were mainly dizziness & feeling faint. She took 1 pill/day that supplemented the pacemaker but I have no idea what it was. She wasn't athletic & refused to clean house, so I have no idea how or if the pacemaker restricts activities.

I hope you're getting good advice & treatment from your medical team. This old age stuff sucks.
I'm thinking it was merely her age at that point. My dad died at 38. I would love to have had him as long as I could have. Even if the medical stuff isn't perfect it's better than dying so young.
 

ZEROPILOT

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No. It's real.
The fact that I thought I posted this in the NUT HOUSE thread shows my state of mind.
I've had SVT since I was a kid and a lifetime of medication and two cardiac ablations are no longer keeping it under control.
The situation is rediculous
My dad could have used one when he was 38 years old. I wish they would have looked at that option for him. I can only hope your joking. But if they saw that you really need one I'll be glad that they helped you 🙏 I would hate to loose you.😘
 

Cathie G

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No. It's real.
The fact that I thought I posted this in the NUT HOUSE thread shows my state of mind.
I've had SVT since I was a kid and a lifetime of medication and two cardiac ablations are no longer keeping it under control.
The situation is rediculous
I'll keep my hopes and prayers headed for you 🙏🤗 and yours. And well... you can't exactly call the nut house good jokes 😁😘
 

TammyJ

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No. It's real.
The fact that I thought I posted this in the NUT HOUSE thread shows my state of mind.
I've had SVT since I was a kid and a lifetime of medication and two cardiac ablations are no longer keeping it under control.
The situation is rediculous
Hey ...I have SVT too. But I am pretty old.
 

Cathie G

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Ok I googled it and I still don't get it. What???? please explain 😜🤔 I must be really dense. I know it's going to wind up being a bad joke 🤣
Okay well then...if it has to do with animal behavior I do have a psycho cat 😺 that needs don't eat your hair conditioning. It's still a bad joke 🤣
 

Snoopy’s mom

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Ok I googled it and I still don't get it. What???? please explain 😜🤔 I must be really dense. I know it's going to wind up being a bad joke 🤣
Pavlov did an experiment, every time he fed his (or someone’s) dogs he rang a bell. He did that consistently over a period of time. Later every time he rang a bell the dogs would go to their food bowl whether there was food in it or not, or if it was feeding time or not. The dogs were conditioned to respond to the bell.

He conditioned his hair was a play in the word conditioned 🤭
 

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