Bob

[Maggie Cummings]

I sent part of this post to a friend here on the forum and I hope she doesn't mind me sharing this part with you...

Because I feel so sick I took Bob his treat early so I could just go to
bed. So I went out there and sat on the floor and he walked over to me
and climbed halfway up on my lap, had to be halfway because he is so big
he covers me and if continued he'd fall off the other side... so anyway
he climbed up on me and stretched out his head as long as he could and
he peered into my eyes just still and serious as could be. He didn't do
anything but look into my eyes. I don't know what he was looking for but
he was looking. So that lasted for a long space in time, just odd and still,
looking deep into my eyes. Then he climbed off me and pissed on my
slippers. The jerk... I thought we were having some kind of moment,
instead the kind of moment we had was a river of water. If you don't know coming from a large tortoise it's a rush of water, a gush that is forceful and powerful and hot and slimy and ookie on my slippers. So the slippers are wrecked and I am irritated at him because he destoryed what I thought was a tender moment, instead just like a man he ruined the moment and pissed on me...

 

[Scooter]

I'm sorry Bob ruined your tender moment but it does make for another good story.

 

[Tom]

Did you ever consider that Bob is the re-incarnation of a former jilted boyfriend? He seems to plan these things with you. I have to second what Charlotte said.

 

[jlyoncc1]

LOL you should have known it was too good to be true!

 

[Stephanie Logan]

I think you and Bob had two "moments". The first one was the love and trust he expressed while looking into your eyes; the second was a pure Bob moment, in which he tested yet again whether your love is unconditional.

There is no doubt that Bob is lucky to have you. I don't think there are more than a tiny fraction of people who would endure what you do in pursuit of keeping Bob happy and entertained, and I don't think there are more than a tiny fraction of tortoises who have the kind of bond Bob has with you.

 

[terryo]

Awwww... Maggie...another great Bob story. Still no book????

 

[Tom]

I think you and Bob had two "moments". The first one was the love and trust he expressed while looking into your eyes; the second was a pure Bob moment, in which he tested yet again whether your love is unconditional.

There is no doubt that Bob is lucky to have you. I don't think there are more than a tiny fraction of people who would endure what you do in pursuit of keeping Bob happy and entertained, and I don't think there are more than a tiny fraction of tortoises who have the kind of bond Bob has with you.

Oh lots of people would endure it, they just wouldn't keep falling for it!

 

[Candy]

Ahhhh Bob he tried to be good and it worked for a few moments. You've got to give credit where credit is due Maggie. He did his best, but when a boys got to pee, a boys got to pee.

 

[Weloveourtortoise]

Maggie,
I feel for you-- Chalrie who is the size of Bob's foot so the impact is just not nearly as high, will do the same type of thing! I think the pee and poo are just involuntary..... atleast in my head it is....Either that or Charlie is very vindictive.

 

[stells]

Men... all the same if you scratch the surface...

 

[Annieski]

For the past couple of days, I've been having a melt-down[ too many things to do and not enough time to do them] then I read this "BOB" story and oh! how you tell it!!! and I can't stop laughing and I don't care about all I have to do! Thank you Maggie and if you send me your slippers, I will De-Bob them for you.

 

[Maggie Cummings]

For the past couple of days, I've been having a melt-down[ too many things to do and not enough time to do them] then I read this "BOB" story and oh! how you tell it!!! and I can't stop laughing and I don't care about all I have to do! Thank you Maggie and if you send me your slippers, I will De-Bob them for you.

Just wait until Mortimer gets bigger it's a huge rush of water, it's comes out with such force it made me jump. But I didn't jump enough to not get peed on. Oh, man what a tortoise. I agree with Roachman, he must be an old boyfriend...

 

[sammi]

Hmm..how about we call it "marking his territory"?

 

[Redfoot NERD]

YEAH..... WHAT'S THIS THING ABOUT 'JILTED-BOYFRIENDS' AND ALL OF THAT NONSENSE? WHAT KIND OF SEX-IST STATEMENT IS THAT ANYWAY? HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED THAT MAYBE WOMAN ARE JUST GOOD TARGETS FOR MENS' FRUSTRATION?

LOOK INTO MY EYES AND STARE AND SEE IF YOU SEE MY INTENT?

Just had to say that.. wattaya think 'Roach'?

Yikes..

NERD

 

[Maggie Cummings]

Not sexist at all. I jilted a good number of men in my day...

 

[Tom]

YEAH..... WHAT'S THIS THING ABOUT 'JILTED-BOYFRIENDS' AND ALL OF THAT NONSENSE? WHAT KIND OF SEX-IST STATEMENT IS THAT ANYWAY? HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED THAT MAYBE WOMAN ARE JUST GOOD TARGETS FOR MENS' FRUSTRATION?
NERD

Substitute "causes" for "targets" in the above and we'll be on the same page.

 

[DoctorCosmonaut]

Haha oh Maggie!

 

[Greg T]

I was really getting into the story, trying to anticipate what Bob was doing and why and then he pees on your slippers. I laughed out loud because that wasn't anything like I was expecting to read.

Love the Bob stories. I only hope mine develop half the personallity Bob has!