Can we all calm down?

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hali

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i missed it all too - quite like a little drama - never mind lol xxxx
 

Yvonne G

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I think what Stephi is talking about is the no-nonsense approach some of our more seasoned members have about tortoise-keeping. Some of us would rather tell it like it is than try to sugar-coat it. That approach comes off rather brusque and a brand new person MIGHT misconstrue that it is rude.
 

fbsmith3

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maggie3fan,

Well you are the caretaker of Bob, so, you are allowed to be long winded.
 

Tortoise

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I think owing to the fact that communication is 70% body language its not surprising that people get offended on a forum.
Its hard to get a message through in the written word without someone take it the wrong way.
I think we shouldn't be too quick to judge anyone on here as in a real life situation, they are quite probably really nice folks.

We all at least have one passion in common-the tortoises we care for and love-so it can't be that bad!!

I have not had problems here-I get strong opinions directed at me on occasions but its ok -I prefer to get the info I am asking for without fluffing around and worrying how to take something.

I think we all(I do remind myself often) need to be respectful and show good manners and agree to disagree on occasions.

We all write differently too-there are many locations, tortoises, cultures, experiences etc involved so the variety of written communication methods are huge too. Some people always sound direct and blunt but mean very well and its easy for the more sensitive of us to take offense (probably unnecessarily)

I think this forum is great personally and the odd negative experience so far been hugely outweighed by the info I have learned and the good written conversations I have had with many really nice folks.

Everyone deserves a place here on this forum-everyone that cares enough to learn on behalf of their charges.
 

HipsterTorts

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From someone who watches from a distance because I sill feel like a newbie even though I'm not, there does seem to be a bit of drama here and there. And personal issues between members being brought on to threads(if that makes senes lol.) But also, as someone who has been on many forums, drama is normal. You like some people and you don't like others, that's just how it works.
 
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Maggie Cummings

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I am a no nonsense type person and often am misunderstood as rude or mean. And that's not true at all. I just tell it like it is and I don't sugar coat it so I am called mean and rude. But if someone is not caring correctly for a tortoise who is lethargic and not eating I tell that person what is wrong in no uncertain terms. I don't ever sugar coat my advice, because if a keeper is not caring for his tortoise correctly that tortoise can and often does die. Most often by the time we notice a tortoise is sick he's been sick for a long time. In the wild they need to cover up the symptoms of sickness or others will sense it and go after him. So he's been sick for a long time by the time we see those symptoms and it becomes a life or death situation. So at that point you can't sugar coat your advice or that little tortoise will die.

We had a young keeper who's hatchling was sick and I kept after her to make her parents take the baby to the Vet. Of course they didn't and of course the baby died. So instead of telling that person I was sorry that her baby died. I told her it was her fault and why it was her fault. Then a week or two later she got another hatchling, and I couldn't help myself, I freaked out I told her that was awful. She had no money to take the previous baby to the Vet but now all the sudden she has money to buy another??? I get mad again just thinking about it. You shouldn't get any animal if you can't afford to take them to the Vet. Period. But most people think that tortoises are throw away animals and they don't need to have Vet treatment. They let that animal die and buy another.

Makes me mad just to talk about it again. Anyhow, I am called mean and rude and non caring when I DO care, I care a lot that's why I am here day after day giving out advice and mostly being ignored. But some listen and those babies live. When the keeper sets up the animal correctly and they ask questions, and feed them correctly and soak them and exercise them that animal grows and lives a healthy life.
Oh hell, I sure went off didn't I? Well, I'm sorry. I guess I'd better go soak somebody and watch my NASCAR race...
 

tyler0912

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maggie3fan said:
I am a no nonsense type person and often and am misunderstood as rude or mean. And that's not true at all. I just tell it like it is and I don't sugar coat it so I am called mean and rude. But if someone is not caring correctly for a tortoise who is lethargic and not eating I tell that person what is wrong in no uncertain terms. I don't ever sugar coat my advice, because if a keeper is not caring for his tortoise correctly that tortoise can and often does die. Most often by the time we notice a tortoise is sick he's been sick for a long time. In the wild they need to cover up the symptoms of sickness or others will sense it and go after him. So he's been sick for a long time by the time we see those symptoms and it becomes a life or death situation. So at that point you can't sugar coat your advice or that little tortoise will die.

We had a young keeper who's hatchling was sick and I kept after her to make her parents take the baby to the Vet. Of course they didn't and of course the baby died. So instead of telling that person I was sorry that her baby died. I told her it was her fault and why it was her fault. Then a week or two later she got another hatchling, and I couldn't help myself, I freaked out I told her that was awful. She had no money to take the previous baby to the Vet but now all the sudden she has money to buy another??? I get mad again just thinking about it. You shouldn't get any animal if you can't afford to take them to the Vet. Period. But most people think that tortoises are throw away animals and they don't need to have Vet treatment. They let that animal die and buy another.

Makes me mad just to talk about it again. Anyhow, I am called mean and rude and non caring when I DO care I care a lot that's why I am here day after day giving out advice and mostly being ignored. But some listen and those babies live. When the keeper sets up the animal correctly and they ask questions, and feed them correctly and soaks them and exercises them that animal grows and lives a healthy life.
Oh hell, I sure went off didn't I? Well, I'm sorry. I guess I'd better go soak somebody and watch my NASCAR race...

Take a breath and goo have a coffee! :)
That is awful....Thats is what grinds my gears.
 

HipsterTorts

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maggie3fan said:
I am a no nonsense type person and often am misunderstood as rude or mean. And that's not true at all. I just tell it like it is and I don't sugar coat it so I am called mean and rude. But if someone is not caring correctly for a tortoise who is lethargic and not eating I tell that person what is wrong in no uncertain terms. I don't ever sugar coat my advice, because if a keeper is not caring for his tortoise correctly that tortoise can and often does die. Most often by the time we notice a tortoise is sick he's been sick for a long time. In the wild they need to cover up the symptoms of sickness or others will sense it and go after him. So he's been sick for a long time by the time we see those symptoms and it becomes a life or death situation. So at that point you can't sugar coat your advice or that little tortoise will die.

We had a young keeper who's hatchling was sick and I kept after her to make her parents take the baby to the Vet. Of course they didn't and of course the baby died. So instead of telling that person I was sorry that her baby died. I told her it was her fault and why it was her fault. Then a week or two later she got another hatchling, and I couldn't help myself, I freaked out I told her that was awful. She had no money to take the previous baby to the Vet but now all the sudden she has money to buy another??? I get mad again just thinking about it. You shouldn't get any animal if you can't afford to take them to the Vet. Period. But most people think that tortoises are throw away animals and they don't need to have Vet treatment. They let that animal die and buy another.

Makes me mad just to talk about it again. Anyhow, I am called mean and rude and non caring when I DO care, I care a lot that's why I am here day after day giving out advice and mostly being ignored. But some listen and those babies live. When the keeper sets up the animal correctly and they ask questions, and feed them correctly and soak them and exercise them that animal grows and lives a healthy life.
Oh hell, I sure went off didn't I? Well, I'm sorry. I guess I'd better go soak somebody and watch my NASCAR race...

Maggie, I think your 100% correct. If you need to be forceful with somone because they aren't caring for their tortoise correctly then be forceful. No question about it. But I think the drama that is being referred to is drama not having to do with tortoises.
 

dmmj

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we all know maggie is the meanest person here, but I think we still love her.

I am like a post ninja I make my post and then disappears , often in as few words as possible.
 

Jacqui

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dmmj said:
we all know maggie is the meanest person here, but I think we still love her.

Yeah, well I am aiming to take her spot as the meanest person in this here forum! :p :D
 

stephiiberrybean

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I wasn't talking about the opinions or way people offer advice. I often come across a bit harsh. I'm fine with all that.

What I was talking about was theres been a couple of people lately arguing for no reason and it really has annoyed me quite a lot. Especially when there is no need for it. I've seen a couple of people who don't like each other go on at each other.

I was also referring to a few new members who have upset me and a few other members with some comments when they don't know anything about that person and haven't even done there research on that person. Fair enough express your opinions but at least check to see if that person owns a tort, what they own etc.
 

ripper7777777

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maggie3fan said:
I am a no nonsense type person and often am misunderstood as rude or mean. And that's not true at all. I just tell it like it is and I don't sugar coat it so I am called mean and rude. But if someone is not caring correctly for a tortoise who is lethargic and not eating I tell that person what is wrong in no uncertain terms. I don't ever sugar coat my advice, because if a keeper is not caring for his tortoise correctly that tortoise can and often does die. Most often by the time we notice a tortoise is sick he's been sick for a long time. In the wild they need to cover up the symptoms of sickness or others will sense it and go after him. So he's been sick for a long time by the time we see those symptoms and it becomes a life or death situation. So at that point you can't sugar coat your advice or that little tortoise will die.

We had a young keeper who's hatchling was sick and I kept after her to make her parents take the baby to the Vet. Of course they didn't and of course the baby died. So instead of telling that person I was sorry that her baby died. I told her it was her fault and why it was her fault. Then a week or two later she got another hatchling, and I couldn't help myself, I freaked out I told her that was awful. She had no money to take the previous baby to the Vet but now all the sudden she has money to buy another??? I get mad again just thinking about it. You shouldn't get any animal if you can't afford to take them to the Vet. Period. But most people think that tortoises are throw away animals and they don't need to have Vet treatment. They let that animal die and buy another.

Makes me mad just to talk about it again. Anyhow, I am called mean and rude and non caring when I DO care, I care a lot that's why I am here day after day giving out advice and mostly being ignored. But some listen and those babies live. When the keeper sets up the animal correctly and they ask questions, and feed them correctly and soak them and exercise them that animal grows and lives a healthy life.
Oh hell, I sure went off didn't I? Well, I'm sorry. I guess I'd better go soak somebody and watch my NASCAR race...


Well I can't speak for everyone, but I think your passionate about tortoises and I think you want the best for them, and that's why I'm here, I'm not here looking to find friends, I'm looking for info about tortoises.


Sadly though tortoises, to some people, are disposable, I have seen neighbors kill everything from anoles to baby grass snakes, I try to explain the chain of life and insect control, but to some people reptiles are just throw away things.

But even on here I have seen Hermit Crabs referred to as possible snacks for torts, sure it's a joke and I laughed, but I know people that would freak out over that, like a tortoise being referred to as a raccoon snack.

I think the big thing is to try and teach people to have compassion for animals and to try and give them the best advice you can and not let it ruin your day. Like when you go through petco and see some large red foot trapped in a 20 gallon long with 3 russians, sure I'd like to kick the staff in the arse, but life is the way it is sometimes.


Also I like to keep in mind everyone has their own way of doing it and as long as the animal is happy and healthy so be it. I'm sure there are a few who would criticize the humidity idea for baby sulcatas.
 

dmmj

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regarding hermit crabs as snacks, some people keep them with their red foots, for bug maintenance and sometimes the red foots will eat them, when they change their shells.
 

ripper7777777

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dmmj said:
regarding hermit crabs as snacks, some people keep them with their red foots, for bug maintenance and sometimes the red foots will eat them, when they change their shells.


Yea I know, it doesn't bug me, I raised pythons when I was younger, things eat things, but I do know some seriously passionate people when it comes to Hermit Crabs. Of course I would not let them know I keep Hermit Crabs with my Torts, I pick and choose what info I share and where, it's just easier that way, I don't have time to fight battles all over the internet, I'll raise my guys how I want.
 

Jacqui

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ripper7777777 said:
..., I pick and choose what info I share and where, it's just easier that way,...
A wise person!
 

stephiiberrybean

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I'm sorry but that has cracked me up!

Poor Hermit crabs. They think they are safe and protected then they remove there shell for a moment and bam... they get eaten!
Oh the image tickled me a little bit. It was all cartoon.
I'm going to have to draw my cartoon strip of it now.

Sorry... Of topic but I had to share.

What does upset me is when people breed Animals, mice etc to feed them to their snakes. That upsets me a little bit.
 

Jacqui

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stephiiberrybean said:
I'm sorry but that has cracked me up!

Poor Hermit crabs. They think they are safe and protected then they remove there shell for a moment and bam... they get eaten!

See how much smarter tortoises are? They never ever get naked. No sirree, they keeps them shells on. :p :D
 
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