This is my first post, and I’m so sorry it’s a quite depressing subject. Actually, one of the only reasons I joined Tortoise Forum is because I needed advice and comfort.
My sweet, sassy sulcata tortoise, Koopa Troopa, died a few weeks ago from heat stroke. I was at work and my brother had put her outside and left her, in the scorching heat, and she died a few hours after he finally brought her in and gave her water.
I’ve lost dogs, cats, fishes, and everything in-between, but NOTHING, absolutely nothing, has devastated me more than losing my childhood tortoise. I wasn’t prepared for her death as I never thought I would live longer than her.
A little backstory: my uncle works at a fish store and people sometimes come in selling different animals unrelated to aquatic species: one being my loving little hatchling girl, Koopa. The first year of her life was SO difficult. We had never owned a tortoise before so my parents and I were nervous to raise her. We did everything to the T to make sure she grew up healthy and strong. She was the size of a 50 cent coin. We even had a few companion Anoles to help her socialize and find comfort in other animals.
She began to develop the most sassiest personality after year two, where she discovered if she scratched on the glass walls of her terrarium she’d annoy us enough to feed her earlier than we’d usually feed her. She would sun-bathe with the anoles sleeping on her back and she had not a care in the world. Her favorite snack was our hibiscus flowers from our backyard (where we buried her next to).
Flash forward to now I’d never thought I’d have to live without her. I was a little girl when I got her and now I’m graduated and onto bigger things. I always thought that when I married I would get to visit her and her own hatchlings (maybe) and she and her offspring would outlive all of us.
Now I’m just upset, angry, a mix of emotions. I’ve never felt so helpless and distraught. I wish I could’ve stayed home a few minutes longer to tell my brother not to put her outside in the heat, maybe soaked her longer in a water bath so she wasn’t dehydrated. Stayed with her throughout the night to make sure she was okay... But instead I went to bed, sound asleep thinking everything was going to be okay. She was dead by morning.
I miss hearing her sassy scratching on the walls when she was hungry, I miss her sleeping peacefully under logs and her eagerness to quit being bathed. I miss giving her watermelon scraps and taking videos of her crunching on strawberries.
I so desperately want to get another sulcata, but after the trauma of losing her I feel like I would only be betraying her by taking care of another one. My grief is so beyond words that all I can say now is I wish I could go back in time to save her. I feel like a failure. I tried so hard to keep her healthy and alive and all it took was one mishap and her 10+ years of being with us was gone in an instant.
I don’t know how to let go of the anger and resentment I feel with myself and with others. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over the visceral heartache of her death.
Rest in peace, my darling. I will miss you forever.
My sweet, sassy sulcata tortoise, Koopa Troopa, died a few weeks ago from heat stroke. I was at work and my brother had put her outside and left her, in the scorching heat, and she died a few hours after he finally brought her in and gave her water.
I’ve lost dogs, cats, fishes, and everything in-between, but NOTHING, absolutely nothing, has devastated me more than losing my childhood tortoise. I wasn’t prepared for her death as I never thought I would live longer than her.
A little backstory: my uncle works at a fish store and people sometimes come in selling different animals unrelated to aquatic species: one being my loving little hatchling girl, Koopa. The first year of her life was SO difficult. We had never owned a tortoise before so my parents and I were nervous to raise her. We did everything to the T to make sure she grew up healthy and strong. She was the size of a 50 cent coin. We even had a few companion Anoles to help her socialize and find comfort in other animals.
She began to develop the most sassiest personality after year two, where she discovered if she scratched on the glass walls of her terrarium she’d annoy us enough to feed her earlier than we’d usually feed her. She would sun-bathe with the anoles sleeping on her back and she had not a care in the world. Her favorite snack was our hibiscus flowers from our backyard (where we buried her next to).
Flash forward to now I’d never thought I’d have to live without her. I was a little girl when I got her and now I’m graduated and onto bigger things. I always thought that when I married I would get to visit her and her own hatchlings (maybe) and she and her offspring would outlive all of us.
Now I’m just upset, angry, a mix of emotions. I’ve never felt so helpless and distraught. I wish I could’ve stayed home a few minutes longer to tell my brother not to put her outside in the heat, maybe soaked her longer in a water bath so she wasn’t dehydrated. Stayed with her throughout the night to make sure she was okay... But instead I went to bed, sound asleep thinking everything was going to be okay. She was dead by morning.
I miss hearing her sassy scratching on the walls when she was hungry, I miss her sleeping peacefully under logs and her eagerness to quit being bathed. I miss giving her watermelon scraps and taking videos of her crunching on strawberries.
I so desperately want to get another sulcata, but after the trauma of losing her I feel like I would only be betraying her by taking care of another one. My grief is so beyond words that all I can say now is I wish I could go back in time to save her. I feel like a failure. I tried so hard to keep her healthy and alive and all it took was one mishap and her 10+ years of being with us was gone in an instant.
I don’t know how to let go of the anger and resentment I feel with myself and with others. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over the visceral heartache of her death.
Rest in peace, my darling. I will miss you forever.