Greiving the loss of Buddy / New Tort or Not Yet? / What kind of tort?/ Suggestions!?

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danielledelynn

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I tried to put as much information about this post into the thread title, but it was pretty hard...Hopefully I get a lot of responses on this, well, both parts of it, as Nick and I are sort of stumped I guess you could say?

As most of you know, Buddy died Friday (May 28th). We gave the little guy a proper burial Saturday evening and plan on planting yellow flowers on his burial site (in my parent's yard) in his honor, as yellow was his absolute favorite color.

We are having a VERY hard time accepting his loss. We went hiking and camping at some State land over the weekend to help cheer us up. Although it did help, the first thing we both did when we got home was run over to Buddy's "spot" (where his enclosure was) in the living room, only to remember he's not there anymore...it's so hard for both of us :(

My first question to everyone who has ever lost a tortoise before, how long did you wait before getting another? Nick and I REALLY want another tortoise...but we aren't sure if we should wait a while and grieve Buddy's death or is it okay to "shop around" (I know that sounds terrible, I can't think of how else to word it) now?

Part two to this thread that I am looking for comments/suggestions, is should we stick with a sulcata...or should we look toward a different kind of tortoise all-together? Nick is thinking it might be better getting a different kind all-together, not that he doesn't love sullies, but they are just so delicate and hard to care for especially when they are very young and don't have a great survival rate at that age. I'm not saying we are looking for "the easy way out", as I'm sure it could possibly sound that way. We are just really afraid of getting a young sulcata again and going through the exact same thing and losing that one too :( Buddy had such an awesome and quirky little personality, even though he was so young. We'd like our next tortoise (whatever kind it ends up being) to have a similar personality to Buddy's-- just so friendly, personable, quirky and awesome. I know each kind of tort is unique in its own way, but I'd really like to hear your guys' suggestions on which kind(s) have the kind of friendly personalities we're looking for. (Does this sound really dumb? I'm sorry if it does)...

Let me tell you a little story...About ten years ago, when I still lived with my parents, we had a tiny little blue parakeet we named Charlie. For the first year we had Charlie, we kept him in a part of house there was little to no foot-traffic as well as minimal human voices (since we never hung out in that room). One day my mom happened to find Charlie face-down in his food dish, not moving, just acting very down in the dumps. This is very unlike parakeets, as they are usually super skittish and flighty. My mom figured it out that since he was getting talked to very minimally, if ever, that poor little Charlie was suffering from depression. She then moved his cage into the far corner of the kitchen, where there is the most amount of human conversation, laughs, noise from the telephone, etc. I would talk to him everyday from that point forward, in a high squeaky voice, and I kid you not, three weeks later, he began to talk...and sounded JUST LIKE me! He'd say things like "Charlie Barley baby bird...c'mere! Whattaya doin' doin' doin'??" And then I'd say to him, "I love you", to which he would reply, "Do you?!" And he'd mimmick all of our laughs, it was incredible. Anyways, Charlie talked and talked and was the cutest little parakeet I'd ever seen (even to this day!), but he succumbed to old age, as parakeets don't really have a super long life span. A week after Charlie died, I rushed out to the pet store and bought a new parakeet, hoping it would ease the pain of losing Charlie (I was as heartbroken over Charlie as I am right now, still, over Buddy...). The new parakeet wasn't blue like Charlie, but rather, a bright green. I named him Magoo. Although I do love Magoo to pieces, he doesn't talk and probably never will, even though he's in the same lively spot in the house that Charlie was...I guess what I'm trying to say here is, I thought that getting another parakeet would make me feel better about losing Charlie, and it didn't...and Magoo is nothing like Charlie, personality-wise. I know that all pets are different, of course, that's nature...but Buddy's personality was soo likeable and adorable, we just want our next tort to be along the same lines. Does that make sense?

Okay...now that I've rambled a LOT, I look forward to everyone's input on this!

We thank you all in advance! :D
 

dmmj

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Don't let anyon else tell you how long to wait, there is no predetermined time. It does not hurt to look around if you feel ready then get one, if not then wait.
 

terryo

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I didn't loose my Three Toed boxie to death, but she escaped in my yard somewhere and I was and still am devastated. She had the most unbelievable personality and made me laugh all the time. She was so friendly to everyone and so unafraid. I got a new little Three Toed that would have been the same age as my Izzy soon after I lost her. She is not friendly, scared of every little thing and has not much personality at all. I was very disappointed with her. Of course she is mine now and I decided to love her for herself. There will never be another Izzy, and neither will there ever be another Buddy. As long as you realize that, and are not trying to replace her then I would just get another tortoise. Maybe you should look into rescue ones that aren't so little. Even if you buy another sully, try to get an older one that's not as delicate. In any case, I would just get another one, and don't compare him with Buddy.
 

Tom

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I don't have an answer for this as I've always had at least one if not a dozen since I was seven. I think dmmj is right though. If you are ready now then do it.

As far as hatchlings go, all species can be delicate. Sulcatas are one of the hardiest in my experience. I think you hear a lot about them having problems because there are so many out there. Be cause they are so hardy, relatively easy to care for, attractive and personable, a lot of people choose them as pets. I wouldn't be surprised to hear they are the most commonly kept tortoise in America. I'm guessing its them or the Russian.

If you are already set-up for a sulcata and ready to deal with the immense adult size and destructiveness, I think they are by far the best. If you want something a little more manageable, but still hardy and personable, I love the russians too. These two are the most popular for a reason. Don't get me wrong, I love all of them and I've seen outstanding individuals of many species, but, in general, these two are the most personable and hardy.

I don't remember where you live. Often I let that help determine which species I get in to. Its very hot and dry where I live, so I tend to favor desert species. If I lived in South FL or New Orleans, I might lean more toward the redfoot. If I lived up in New York or Vermont, I might lean toward a smaller species that hibernates.

You could do a post specifically asking people to describe why their primary or favorite species is the best. Maybe you could also ask for those who know them best to also tell you the downside. We all love talking about our torts.

I wish you the best of luck.
 
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Maggie Cummings

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On July31st My cat and partner Big Bubba died. He was only 16 and I killed him. As I was burying him in my yard I was sobbing, just sobbing I was inconsolable. All the sudden a woman was at my fence asking if I was alright and could she help me...I told her about Big Bubba and she left. The next morning she was at my door with a brown paper sack. (That was how I got Bubba) and in the sack was a tuxedo kitten. I knew I was going to get a black and white kitten when Bubs died, but I expected him to live a lot longer, anyhow, Big Bubba was my partner in my semi truck and he traveled the U.S. with me. We were very close and I killed him it was horrible. On my own I would never have gotten a kitten so soon. This was just the very next day after Bubba died. There were too many coincidences so that I had to take this kitten. He was only 4 weeks old and abandoned... But Maks has made my grief over losing Bubba somewhat easier. Having a kitten around makes you laugh. Maks hasn't replace Bubba but she has helped me considerably. When I cry over missing Big Bubba (and I still do) Maks comes and gets on my chest. She doesn't like to be held but she always gets on me when I cry and that's the only time. So I would say get another sulcata. You can't replace Buddy, but Sulcata are much more outgoing and personable then other species. Adopt a yearling, then they are established and they are easier to care for, or an older tort. But once you've had a Sulcata you won't settle for another species and another tort in your life will help you through your grief...
 

Jacqui

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Like the rest have said, you can't replace the one you lost. You can however get a new one that will help you heal, take away a bit of the pain, make you laugh, and one whom in no time will perhaps have you wrapped around his little shell.

It seems you enjoyed so much of what a sulcata has to offer, were you prepared for him when he became an adult? If so, I would suggest sticking with a sulcata. Perhaps one a bit older? What a great gift to the memory of Buddy to maybe find one who is in need of a new home and all that love you seem to have to offer it. Be it from a rescue or just somebody who has to give up their's, or yes, even buy one.

If you really want a new tortoise the most commonly considered "easy" keepers are Redfoots, Russians, Greeks, and Hermans. Usually hatchlings of any species are a bit harder to keep, so go for something a bit older or even an adult.

As for the waiting bit, there is no right or wrong length of time. The wait is dependent upon your heart. Start researching and looking around, when your ready you will know it. Usually about two seconds after you spot the tortoise that will be blessed to have you for his/her next caretakers.:p
 

Laura

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Sorry for your pain..
I would not scare away from sulcatas, they are great and many in need of homes if you live in a warm area. Dont get a hatchling. They are more difficult. as they get older they are actually quite hardy. and if older, then have proven they can survive!
Check with rescues in your area or local shelters. Thats how I got all four of mine. Networking and shelter.
 

danielledelynn

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Tom said:
I don't remember where you live. Often I let that help determine which species I get in to. Its very hot and dry where I live, so I tend to favor desert species. If I lived in South FL or New Orleans, I might lean more toward the redfoot. If I lived up in New York or Vermont, I might lean toward a smaller species that hibernates.

Nick and I live in New York...Buffalo, NY to be exact, a good 7 hours away from NYC, so it's not as close to the big apple as people who live in other states kind of assume for some reason. We're more in the country kind of setting, with farms-- fruits, veggies, and cow/dairy farms everywhere you look, lol...But like I said in a different post recently, Buffalo is the kind of area where we could seriously experience all four seasons in a week or two time period. I'm not even kidding! We only get to experience summer-esque weather from about mid-May til about mid-September. The rest of the year is either ridiculous rain, sleet, snow or hail...Or heck, sometimes you get this: Buffalo Winter Storm October 2006

...But I digress... So to answer your question, no, we don't live in a part of the U.S that's warm all year round. I am just so in love with sulcatas for some reason though. Although we're thinking our next tort, regardless of species, will definitely be at least a yearling instead of a hatchling, I really love the fact that you can watch these little buggers grow..and grow..and grow. Our nickname for Buddy was "baby dinosaur", because really, that's what young sulcatas remind me of! I feel like in the past month and a half, I've done so much research on sulcatas, that I know diddly squat about the other species of tortoises, so to get a different kind would be like starting from scratch.

We are definitely not going to get another tort with the intentions to compare him/her to Buddy, or even as Buddy's replacement....not at all. Nick and I are in love with tortoises, and quite frankly, before we took in Buddy, I never thought in a million years that I could fall in love with a reptile. Yes, I'm a huge pet lover, but I didn't think I could have that instant bond with a tortoise...and I was wrong. That little bugger crawled right into my heart and I know for sure that there's love in my heart for animals of all walks of life. I'm officially a tortie lover now!

Terryo & Maggie, thank you for sharing your personal stories with me. Both of your stories were so sad, but I do appreciate your willingness to open up about your experiences to me.
 

Kristina

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I was one that waited. A LONG time. I lost my first tortoise, Gomer, when a predator broke into his pen one night and literally tore him in half. I was devastated. I was 22 and had had him since I was 12.

I wanted another tortoise soon after, but didn't feel I had the means to properly care for one, because of what happened to Gomer. So I waited and did a ton of research.

I didn't get another tortoise until I was 26, and then I adopted 2 Sulcatas that I found on Petfinder. It was a good thing I did, because they were not in great shape. I kept Gwen and Ella for 6 months, and then found them a home that could offer them more space. (I just got an update on them - they were 8 and 12" a year ago, and are 13 and 17" now!!!)

While I still had Gwen and Ella, I was offered my first three Hingebacks, and I was very intrigued by them, so I adopted them. I purchased three more Hingebacks this February, along with 4 Russians. A month or so ago I noticed another member had mentioned some Redfoots he was going to be looking for a home for soon, so I thought what the heck, I'll ask about them. We ended up being close enough that we could meet each other part way, so I adopted the three Redfoots.

Well, THEN I found out about a male Hingeback and a male Redfoot that needed a new home due to the owner becoming very ill, so those two are moving in next week. I bought a box turtle off a kid in a high school parking lot for $20, lol, and I am getting her a boyfriend in two days...

I guess my point is, once you have a tortoise, you are hooked. Almost NO ONE stops at owning one tortoise. They are great pets, and as long as you can fulfill their needs, there is no reason not to have one. I still miss Gomer. I see pictures of Gopher tortoises and it breaks my heart. I have a little terra cotta figurine that I made, that looks just like him, and sits in my curio cabinet. I will always, ALWAYS wish I could take back that ONE night! The thing is, Gomer always slept indoors, but I got home from work late that night, and it was pouring down rain and I couldn't find him.

I think the very fact that you are questioning whether you are ready means that you are. I would make one suggestion - Russian tortoise. I don't feel that you have the climate to support a full grown Sulcata. Maggie would say the same thing - Bob has to live indoors 7 months out of the year, and he is not a happy tortoise then. He paces and is very sad. My largest Sulcata, Gwen, would get into the corner of the enclosure and walk, walk, walk, walk against the wall for HOURS when she had to be indoors. Sulcatas just aren't happy inside. For the first few years, yes, but once they hit about 8", they need a TON of room.

I have four Russians, and they crack me up on a daily basis. They have all the personality of a Sulcata in a teeny tiny package, lol. I think that if you got a baby Russian, you would be very, very pleased with it.
 

pugsandkids

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Its hard, I've lost two leopard hatchlings in a month. I have not taken the tort box apart, I look in there half expecting to see one of my "boys" I can't bring myself to get another one...uh, my record sucks. Yet, I really enjoyed them when they were here. Whatever feels right to you, is the right thing to do. Good luck, however you decide to go.

I'm very sorry you lost your little one.
 

Madortoise

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I'm sorry about your loss. Somehow, you'll do what is best for you when you're ready. Be well.
 
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