Sorry for your lost. Don't give up hope yet. This happened to all of us when we didn't know much. But with researching and correct information, we strive for better. You will do better the next time. Have a break and read up the species that you want to have, then look up to see if there are any adoptions in your local areas, in here (but in England). It's cool to have turtle/tortoise as pets. I know you will be fine.Thank you very much for your help