How much weight spread evenly is safe on a human chest?

00crashtest

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I sometimes place red-footed tortoises, Russian tortoises, and an ornate box turtle (limited to 1 individual each time or else they'll slide off) on the sternum of my my chest below the 5th costal notch, where the slope is low enough to prevent them from sliding down to my neck when I'm lying down facing up on a mattress topper/folding mattress/Japanese futon placed on a board placed on the ground. The bed setup is intentional to totally prevent any chance of injury to my tortoises when they accidentally leave the bed by minimizing the fall distance, which would be 2 inches or less.
I do that because it psychologically feels good, is not physiologically uncomfortable, and I know it's safe because they are small animals and thus lightweight. My Russians really enjoy it, as to even fall asleep on me, literally!

When I have enough money years later, I plan to get a pair of Aldabra giant tortoise hatchlings or juveniles, who will preferably turn out to be a breeding pair of a male and a female once they get big enough to be sexed. I have read literate from research papers that the chest of a normal human male body can safely withstand 400 pounds for hours when spread evenly across the chest while being able to breathe without causing any measurable or noticeable effects to health once the weight is removed. That figure is realistic because 300-pound obese humans routinely have sex in bed. Fully-grown female adult Aldabras typically weigh around 350 pounds and have their entire plastron to evenly spread the weight on the ventral side of the human torso, so they are probably perfectly safe to put on a human body, even a female one, even if all of the weight rested on the chest alone. However, male adult aldabras can sometimes grow to 550 pounds. 550 pounds spread over the chest alone would probably cause moderately serious injuries. Even 480 pounds spread over the chest would probably cause minor injuries. However, would it be safe to put a, say, typical 480-pound male adult Aldabra on the torso with the weight spread across both the chest and the belly of the body of a typical human male for one hour without harming his health? How about 30 minutes, or even 15 minutes?
 
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wellington

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That's a question for a doctor.
The other problem would be how you would get that large of a tortoise on you and then when you needed it off, how would you do that?
Besides the fact it's not a normal part of a tortoises life. It's not that they like it, it's what choice do they have if you are forcing them to stay there.
Given the choice they would rather be outside roaming and grazing.
I hope all the species you have are not living together.
 

Yvonne G

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I've had a couple Aldabran tortoises, and believe me, you're not going to get one of them into the house and up on a futon! I had trouble just getting them into their shed at night. By the time I sold them they were each almost 300lbs. Even if I were a very strong man, I wouldn't have been able to pick one up and put it on my chest. But I CAN tell you that when they stepped on my bare foot it hurt like heck!
 

00crashtest

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I've had a couple Aldabran tortoises, and believe me, you're not going to get one of them into the house and up on a futon! I had trouble just getting them into their shed at night. By the time I sold them they were each almost 300lbs. Even if I were a very strong man, I wouldn't have been able to pick one up and put it on my chest. But I CAN tell you that when they stepped on my bare foot it hurt like heck!
Uggh! So no hugs and kisses with them like dogs then? What if they were raised with a lifestyle similar to dogs starting from a hatchling (but with different food and hunidity to prevent pyramiding) -- would they get used to hugs placed on the chest and kisses then?
 

Cathie G

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Well... I always read and heard that a strong person is pretty good if they can lift their own weight. I'm just wondering what it would feel like if the tort was so relaxed that the critter felt like s/he was in bed.💩💦🤓
 

wellington

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Uggh! So no hugs and kisses with them like dogs then? What if they were raised with a lifestyle similar to dogs starting from a hatchling (but with different food and hunidity to prevent pyramiding) -- would they get used to hugs placed on the chest and kisses then?
No they aren't dogs. Put a large tortoise on your chest and you may not survive getting it off.
 

Tom

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I sometimes place red-footed tortoises, Russian tortoises, and an ornate box turtle (limited to 1 individual each time or else they'll slide off) on the sternum of my my chest below the 5th costal notch, where the slope is low enough to prevent them from sliding down to my neck when I'm lying down facing up on a mattress topper/folding mattress/Japanese futon placed on a board placed on the ground. The bed setup is intentional to totally prevent any chance of injury to my tortoises when they accidentally leave the bed by minimizing the fall distance, which would be 2 inches or less.
I do that because it psychologically feels good, is not physiologically uncomfortable, and I know it's safe because they are small animals and thus lightweight. My Russians really enjoy it, as to even fall asleep on me, literally!

When I have enough money years later, I plan to get a pair of Aldabra giant tortoise hatchlings or juveniles, who will preferably turn out to be a breeding pair of a male and a female once they get big enough to be sexed. I have read literate from research papers that the chest of a normal human male body can safely withstand 400 pounds for hours when spread evenly across the chest while being able to breathe without causing any measurable or noticeable effects to health once the weight is removed. That figure is realistic because 300-pound obese humans routinely have sex in bed. Fully-grown female adult Aldabras typically weigh around 350 pounds and have their entire plastron to evenly spread the weight on the ventral side of the human torso, so they are probably perfectly safe to put on a human body, even a female one, even if all of the weight rested on the chest alone. However, male adult aldabras can sometimes grow to 550 pounds. 550 pounds spread over the chest alone would probably cause moderately serious injuries. Even 480 pounds spread over the chest would probably cause minor injuries. However, would it be safe to put a, say, typical 480-pound male adult Aldabra on the torso with the weight spread across both the chest and the belly of the body of a typical human male for one hour without harming his health? How about 30 minutes, or even 15 minutes?
Did you get one of those free crack pipes from Biden? What in the Sam heck are we talking about here???
 

MEEJogja

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I suppose we all indulge what stimulates us psychologically but perhaps you could put something else on your chest and just watch a tortoise?

If that doesn't get you going, you might want to try some other kinks, preferably not involving animals.
 

ZEROPILOT

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I've placed more than one car or truck transmissions on my chest while replacing a clutch, etc and laying on my back.
No tortoises.
But I can tell you that sometimes the weight can be too much. Your arms get fatigued and are unable to lift anymore and you need assistance but because your lungs are compressed you can't yell for help either.
It can get pretty serious. Pretty quickly.
 

00crashtest

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I've placed more than one car or truck transmissions on my chest while replacing a clutch, etc and laying on my back.
No tortoises.
But I can tell you that sometimes the weight can be too much. Your arms get fatigued and are unable to lift anymore and you need assistance but because your lungs are compressed you can't yell for help either.
It can get pretty serious. Pretty quickly.
How heavy are the transmissions each?
 

Avuwyy

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You can purchase weighted blankets and plushies online, a lot safer of an option, and designed to be safe for use on people.

I can somewhat sympathise with the need for pressure on the body, it can relieve anxiety and offer a feeling of security. But the human body is an unstable place for a tortoise and can frighten them. Your body also won’t provide enough heat to warm the tortoise up, so unless you’re lying in the tortoise’s enclosure (Would not recommend), the animal will become cold very fast. And lastly, as everyone else has said… Dangerous weight.

It is better - both for yourself and the tortoise - to purchase something suitable for human comfort.
 

MEEJogja

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You will not get a definitive answer. Have you ever seen a bench press accident? Youre arms will likely fail to lift the weight off you and you will suffocate at a weight much lower than that required to fracture your sternum.

Plus most chest injuries do not involve broken or fractured bones, they involve the cartilage connecting the sternum and ribs separating. Very painful I'm told.
 

Maro2Bear

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So, the question is “… would it be safe to put a, say, typical 480-pound male adult Aldabra on the torso with the weight spread across both the chest and the belly of the body of a typical human male for one hour without harming his health? How about 30 minutes, or even 15 minutes?”

The answer IMHO, is no, not only not safe, but 480 lb tortoises just don’t go where you want them to. Let alone crawl up on a person’s chest & sit still.

Our Sully is over the 100 lb marker & goes where it wants to, with some coaxing it goes where I want it to go. But, one big old Sulcata paw in the wrong spot hurts, can’t imagine encouraging a 480 lb tort up on my chest. 🤷‍♂️
 

00crashtest

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So, the question is “… would it be safe to put a, say, typical 480-pound male adult Aldabra on the torso with the weight spread across both the chest and the belly of the body of a typical human male for one hour without harming his health? How about 30 minutes, or even 15 minutes?”

The answer IMHO, is no, not only not safe, but 480 lb tortoises just don’t go where you want them to. Let alone crawl up on a person’s chest & sit still.

Our Sully is over the 100 lb marker & goes where it wants to, with some coaxing it goes where I want it to go. But, one big old Sulcata paw in the wrong spot hurts, can’t imagine encouraging a 480 lb tort up on my chest. 🤷‍♂️
Thanks for the answer!
 

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