I need help telling someone to stop stressing my tort out.

[William Lee Kohler]

Hi,
I think you can tell from the title that I'm not confrontational about this. I'm staying at my grandma's house for the next month while we are getting ready to move into our new home. I love my grandma but she keeps picking up my tortoise, and I can tell it stresses him out, because he tries to climb off of her. I tried to tell her to please stop picking him up and she got all mad. I went away for a day and a half for some house stuff and she watched over him ( which was super nice). I told her how much to feed him, and what he should and shouldn't eat and that he had his vitamins and calcium powder the night before. I came back and he had a lump on his nose and she told me that she fed him at least three times in one day, and gave him foods I specifically told her not to. The main thing she gave him was cauliflower. Now, as a side note, that is my torts favorite treat, but I didn't know that it was bad and I stopped giving it to him a while ago. He gets it once a month MAX and very little. Well she gave him a lot and I was very upset. My mom keeps telling me to let it go but I can't. She's harming him, not helping him, and I've had enough. It stresses me out and she keeps joking that my dog is gonna kill my tortoise, even though they aren't even allowed in the same room. The main thing is that he had a URI and now some sort of bump on his nose, and I'm trying to keep him from getting stressed, and her doing those things just makes him stressed. What do I do?

Sorry I know this is random but I feel better asking other people who know a lot about tortoises about how to go about this, especially if there is evidence that its not good for him.

Slip her a micky every so often?.

 

[Clueless Tortoise]

Do you know someone, that you could trust with him ? She is a manipulative mean person. I’m sure she’s been that way forever. Sorry it’s your Grandma, but I’m a Grandma also. don’t take her crap !

Thank you. Honestly she is. Its really hard because she's not just that way to us, but to other people. She's the complete opposite from me, so we get in arguments a lot when I call her out on her crap, and then I'm the bad guy because I hurt her feelings. Its like its her way or no way. And she's just a mean person too. We were at dinner last night and were sitting outside ( cause covid ) and our waiter was soooo nice. I have a peanut allergy and he was doing everything he could to help us, and knew about allergies and was constantly making sure we were ok. One of the nicest people ever. Well after he brought out our food and left, my grandma said " Im really tired of seeing his stomach fat. His stomach is hairy and its turning me off." WTF. She's just mean. And it stresses me out because A) its embarrassing and I'm ashamed and B ) when I tell her that she's harming my tort more than helping, I'm the bad guy and I'm the a$$hole. And I can tell when I'm stressed, my tort gets stressed.

 

[Clueless Tortoise]

Do you know someone, that you could trust with him ? She is a manipulative mean person. I’m sure she’s been that way forever. Sorry it’s your Grandma, but I’m a Grandma also. don’t take her crap !

Also he got a URI because we had him shipped out from the West Coast (US) to the East Coast, so the climate and humidity was so different. She wouldn't let him get acclimated to the climate and made him stay in a baby pool on the porch, which is when he got a URI. Well I finally said we need to move him in and the vet agreed, she was NOT happy. She didn't want him or his baby pool ( she wont even let me get a temporary enclosure ) on her furniture cause it could scratch it. So he's in a 3x2 ft storage bin in the bathtub. And the 3x2ft was the biggest thing I could find, and she argued with me the whole time that 3x2ft is way to big. IDK what to do anymore. My poor tort is so stressed out and she's making it worse.

 

[Chefdenoel10]

Also he got a URI because we had him shipped out from the West Coast (US) to the East Coast, so the climate and humidity was so different. She wouldn't let him get acclimated to the climate and made him stay in a baby pool on the porch, which is when he got a URI. Well I finally said we need to move him in and the vet agreed, she was NOT happy. She didn't want him or his baby pool ( she wont even let me get a temporary enclosure ) on her furniture cause it could scratch it. So he's in a 3x2 ft storage bin in the bathtub. And the 3x2ft was the biggest thing I could find, and she argued with me the whole time that 3x2ft is way to big. IDK what to do anymore. My poor tort is so stressed out and she's making it worse.

Do you have a friend that could tortoise sit till you get moved?
He could just stay there for awhile?
Maybe YOU could stay too because it sounds like you are WAAAAYYYYY stressed.

 

[Chubbs the tegu]

Slip her a micky every so often?.

Is that you mr Cosby???

 

[Clueless Tortoise]

Do you have a friend that could tortoise sit till you get moved?
He could just stay there for awhile?
Maybe YOU could stay too because it sounds like you are WAAAAYYYYY stressed.

sadly no, I don't know anybody on the East Coast, much less in my grandma's small town. It's ok. We are moving in a month, so that's not too long. Thank you though. :')

 

[Chefdenoel10]

sadly no, I don't know anybody on the East Coast, much less in my grandma's small town. It's ok. We are moving in a month, so that's not too long. Thank you though. :')

We HAVE to think of SOMETHING to help you out!!!????? ?

 

[Tortoisesarecool]

Is there anybody else you could leave him with?

 

[Clueless Tortoise]

Is there anybody else you could leave him with?

sadly no, but we are moving into a new house in 3 weeks so he is going to have a huge indoor and outdoor enclosure. So I guess he just has to stay where he is now.

 

[Blackdog1714]

Sorry I am late to this is your grandma’s name possibly Maggie? Oh my sorry I had to do that @maggie3fan

 

[Chefdenoel10]

Sorry I am late to this is your grandma’s name possibly Maggie? Oh my sorry I had to do that @maggie3fan

Oooooo!!!!!! Black dog ???
YOU BETTER RUUUUNNNN!!!!!
Them is fight in’ words!
I wouldn’t want to be you right now....
Cover your “bits and pieces” — she is gonna aim low! ?

 

[Clueless Tortoise]

Sorry I am late to this is your grandma’s name possibly Maggie? Oh my sorry I had to do that @maggie3fan

...
Oh shiz balls. I mean, Maggie has been pretty mean to me in the past. There were things that she shouldn't have said, and could have said it in a nicer way. It kind of comes off as she thinks she's better than everyone else. Maybe it was just that one post. IDK
My tort and I are gonna mind our neck and stay outta this one lol.

 

[Pastel Tortie]

...
Oh shiz balls. I mean, Maggie has been pretty mean to me in the past. There were things that she shouldn't have said, and could have said it in a nicer way. It kind of comes off as she thinks she's better than everyone else. Maybe it was just that one post. IDK
My tort and I are gonna mind our neck and stay outta this one lol.

Emotions were running REALLY high then, and a number of things got said (by multiple people) that either shouldn't have been said, or should have been stated differently. More nicely. It's easier to deal with someone's higher levels of stress when you know them better (when there's less stress).

Personally, I'm hoping you and Maggie can start over and be friends. (I'm probably not the only one with that hope.)

It's a shame you two don't live even remotely near each other. I think Maggie is the one person who could tell your grandmother off about your tortoise and make her listen. Maggie is protective of her friends. I think you two would get along just fine if you'd give each other another chance.

 

[Mrs.Jennifer]

I’m not sure hijacking this persons‘ post/questions for your humor is appropriate. People’s concerns should be treated with respect. They have come here with vulnerability, seeking help.

 

[Mrs.Jennifer]

...
Oh shiz balls. I mean, Maggie has been pretty mean to me in the past. There were things that she shouldn't have said, and could have said it in a nicer way. It kind of comes off as she thinks she's better than everyone else. Maybe it was just that one post. IDK
My tort and I are gonna mind our neck and stay outta this one lol.

I’m not sure hijacking this persons‘ post/questions for your humor is appropriate. People’s concerns should be treated with respect. They have come here with vulnerability, seeking help.

 

[Clueless Tortoise]

Emotions were running REALLY high then, and a number of things got said (by multiple people) that either shouldn't have been said, or should have been stated differently. More nicely. It's easier to deal with someone's higher levels of stress when you know them better (when there's less stress).

Personally, I'm hoping you and Maggie can start over and be friends. (I'm probably not the only one with that hope.)

It's a shame you two don't live even remotely near each other. I think Maggie is the one person who could tell your grandmother off about your tortoise and make her listen. Maggie is protective of her friends. I think you two would get along just fine if you'd give each other another chance.

I agree. We had a bad encounter, but she seems to know a lot. I said things to, and I take responsibility for my part. The only thing we can do now is move forward and start fresh. I mean, we are all here because we love tortoises

 

[Clueless Tortoise]

I’m not sure hijacking this persons‘ post/questions for your humor is appropriate. People’s concerns should be treated with respect. They have come here with vulnerability, seeking help.

This started due to someone commenting on the thread that I created from above. This started out as my post because I've been having a hard time with my grandma respecting my tortoise and his/ my boundaries. I explained the situation and how my grandma had done some mean things, and someone replied if my grandma's name was Maggie, and proceeded to tag her. My follow up post was to lighten the mood, and although it is off topic to the original post, I was trying to explain Maggie and I have had a bad encounter and how her comments came off to me. I did a terrible job at explaining it, but what I'm trying to say is it was just one time, and she does seem to know a lot. and that I would like to start fresh with her, because we are all here because we love tortoises. My main point was to shut down the comment tagging Maggie from above, because there is no need to start a war or hurt one another's feelings.

 

[Clueless Tortoise]

Emotions were running REALLY high then, and a number of things got said (by multiple people) that either shouldn't have been said, or should have been stated differently. More nicely. It's easier to deal with someone's higher levels of stress when you know them better (when there's less stress).

Personally, I'm hoping you and Maggie can start over and be friends. (I'm probably not the only one with that hope.)

It's a shame you two don't live even remotely near each other. I think Maggie is the one person who could tell your grandmother off about your tortoise and make her listen. Maggie is protective of her friends. I think you two would get along just fine if you'd give each other another chance.

I GIVE UP. I messaged her trying to start fresh and she was extremely rude and called me a brat and other things were said. She doesn't know me and she comes on this forum and insults me and other members. She needs to be removed.

 

[Tortoisesarecool]

Thats great ?

 

[William Lee Kohler]

I certainly sympathize with you and would like to smack the grandmother? up the side of the head!