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Might Be Leaving T.F.O.

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Gillian M

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Jordan
Hello everyone. Hope you are all well.

Would like to inform you ladies and gentlemen that I might be leaving the forum soon and very soon. Although I did learn a lot, I am obliged to say that some members are very hurtful, heartless, and do not know how to help/give advise diplomatically.

Thanks to those who have been of real help.
 

Yvonne G

Old Timer
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I know you're a very sensitive person, Gillian, but you've got to try to let hurtful comments slide off your back. Most times something that hurts you wasn't intended to be hurtful by the person who said it.

You and Ollie are always welcome here.
 

JoesMum

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I am really sorry to hear you have had a rough ride Gillian.

It is easy to misinterpret the sentiment of what is typed in a forum. There is no face to look at so you can see the actual meaning of the words.

Also meaning can be lost in translation as different nationalities on here use the English language differently... and some are translating from their first language into English. What sounds fine and unhurtful in one country can come across as rude in another country.

Few people are purposefully spiteful and TFO is one of the friendliest forums I have experienced, but even TFO goes through rough patches occasionally.

Please stick around.
 

Gillian M

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I know you're a very sensitive person, Gillian, but you've got to try to let hurtful comments slide off your back. Most times something that hurts you wasn't intended to be hurtful by the person who said it.

You and Ollie are always welcome here.
You've hit the nail on its head Yvonne...you just cannot imagine how sensitive (not emotional but sensitive) I am. You'd have to meet me to believe me. Please allow me to tell you that words are easy and things are always easier said done. Moreover, one cannot change one's personality/character after a certain age, I'm sure you know that. Yvonne, I did not join the forum to get hurt, hear (or rather read) words from hurtful/heartless people whom I do NOT even know! I joined it because I needed help with Oli. I presume you know that I'd never dealt with animals and had never had a pet until Oli came into my life.

I can assure you that some members (without mentioning names) meant it. And here I am 99% sure you know who I mean.

Thanks your kindness and understanding, Yvonne. Appreciate both.
 

Gillian M

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Location (City and/or State)
Jordan
I am really sorry to hear you have had a rough ride Gillian.

It is easy to misinterpret the sentiment of what is typed in a forum. There is no face to look at so you can see the actual meaning of the words.

Also meaning can be lost in translation as different nationalities on here use the English language differently... and some are translating from their first language into English. What sounds fine and unhurtful in one country can come across as rude in another country.

Few people are purposefully spiteful and TFO is one of the friendliest forums I have experienced, but even TFO goes through rough patches occasionally.

Please stick around.
Thanks very much for your post Linda.

Will send you n e-mail message.
 

ZEROPILOT

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Just like some members, and people in general are a little more sensative, there are also some that are abrupt and rude. Even if they don't mean to be. (But I don't doubt that some folks mean it) It's simply the way things are. This might be compounded by cultural and religious or even sexual dialogue that we are not accustomed to and suddenly, there could be a big issue.
People even in the same geographical area don't think that the same things are funny.
For example, I like you very much. You are interesting, honest and caring. But I know that if I shared with you some of my thoughts that I find amusing, you would not. In fact, maybe most would not. But I'm myself and I've gauged about how much of me I can share with members here.
There is at least one member that untill recently I thought was a world class jackass. Then something changed my outlook and I see that I was wrong because this persons serious passion comes out in stern answers that seem down right rude. But they are also extremely helpful and generally absolutely correct.
Even people that like to joke and poke fun at each other...and that happens here a LOT...get their feelings hurt here with just one wrong word.
About two months ago a member that I actually like asked a question and I answered, but it sounded heartless. I answered truthfully. But I'm pretty sure that that relationship has been damaged for good. I didn't know the person well enough to say something so critical of them.
Even if one or two members does actually dislike you, that would not be out of the realm of normal. Block them and move on. Or better yet. Don't block them and just move on.
This place can be fun and it's very helpful.
Your sensativity is not your friend. It's caused you a lot of distress. Distress that you can help get rid of yourself.
Maybe just take a break.
Freinds are here for you.
Many more freinds than actual enemies. That's for sure!
 

saginawhxc

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897
Location (City and/or State)
Saginaw, Michigan, USA
I'm not real sensitive at all. In fact there are days my girlfriend accuses me of not having emotions. The only reason I mention this is sometimes I forget that not everybody is like me and I will say something that leaves people thinking I'm a world class jerk. I can assure you I rarely mean to be. You'll rarely meet somebody who cares so much about others, but sometimes I just fail to express sentiments subtly.

I can't and won't speak for your experiences, but I'm guessing at least some of them are similar situations from other people.
 

von345

Active Member
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134
Don't judge all the " really passionate "
Posters. Stay! For the most part we are all friends who have excellent advice
 

Eric Phillips

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1,074
Location (City and/or State)
Ohio
Hello everyone. Hope you are all well.

Would like to inform you ladies and gentlemen that I might be leaving the forum soon and very soon. Although I did learn a lot, I am obliged to say that some members are very hurtful, heartless, and do not know how to help/give advise diplomatically.

Thanks to those who have been of real help.
Quite frankly Gillian, I've felt the same way! I've had numerous issues with Yvonne and her emojicons. She thinks she has to emojicon me all the time but doesn't realize there are certain emojicons I don't like:)....I tried to get her banned for this then someone informed me she's a moderator....good grief!!! Just kidding people, love Yvonne! Fact is Gillian, there is a purpose for you on this forum and of course in life. I can tell your from my experience that I've met people on here that if I lived closer to them, we would be great friends. I've also encountered discussions I particularly didn't care for but maintained a position of awesomeness because no matter what I'm awesome, lol! joking again NOT. I personally feel your an asset to the forum and would hate to see you go. Just remember, I'm not a novelist. My words may appear like a famous author to me but could be interpreted like a hodgepodge of regurgitated insensitive poo to another! My wife would agree probably to the latter:) Just remember some intentions aren't recognized! Well, after writing this my vertigo wants me to lay down or puke.....just don't blame yourself for my vertigo, lol! I hope you stay!
 

dmmj

The member formerly known as captain awesome
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There's a reason why so many people from all over the world wind up here and stay.
Its the members.
I don't think I've even mentioned my tortoises but maybe once in my last dozen or so posts.
I'm here visiting freinds.
you have tortoises?
 

Yvonne G

Old Timer
TFO Admin
10 Year Member!
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Joined
Jan 23, 2008
Messages
83,195
Location (City and/or State)
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Quite frankly Gillian, I've felt the same way! I've had numerous issues with Yvonne and her emojicons. She thinks she has to emojicon me all the time but doesn't realize there are certain emojicons I don't like:)....I tried to get her banned for this then someone informed me she's a moderator....good grief!!! Just kidding people, love Yvonne! Fact is Gillian, there is a purpose for you on this forum and of course in life. I can tell your from my experience that I've met people on here that if I lived closer to them, we would be great friends. I've also encountered discussions I particularly didn't care for but maintained a position of awesomeness because no matter what I'm awesome, lol! joking again NOT. I personally feel your an asset to the forum and would hate to see you go. Just remember, I'm not a novelist. My words may appear like a famous author to me but could be interpreted like a hodgepodge of regurgitated insensitive poo to another! My wife would agree probably to the latter:) Just remember some intentions aren't recognized! Well, after writing this my vertigo wants me to lay down or puke.....just don't blame yourself for my vertigo, lol! I hope you stay!

:<3::):tort:;):(:mad::confused::cool::p:D:eek::oops::rolleyes:o_O
One of each for you to choose from!!!

And my favorite one that I don't get to use very often (because I'm a mod and it wouldn't be appropriate):

beating_a_dead_horseemoticon_zps6be31c3e.gif


This one may be my new signature:

laugh til blue in face.gif

Sorry, Gillian. I know this is a serious issue for you. Just trying to inject a little humor. Please don't leave!
 

Gillian M

Well-Known Member
5 Year Member
Joined
Aug 28, 2014
Messages
14,962
Location (City and/or State)
Jordan
Don't judge all the " really passionate "
Posters. Stay! For the most part we are all friends who have excellent advice
A friend would NOT five advise in a harsh and hurtful manner, as if he/she is a DICTATOR. In this case it is not advise any more. it is ORDERS.
 

Gillian M

Well-Known Member
5 Year Member
Joined
Aug 28, 2014
Messages
14,962
Location (City and/or State)
Jordan
:<3::):tort:;):(:mad::confused::cool::p:D:eek::oops::rolleyes:o_O
One of each for you to choose from!!!

And my favorite one that I don't get to use very often (because I'm a mod and it wouldn't be appropriate):

View attachment 177177


This one may be my new signature:

View attachment 177178

Sorry, Gillian. I know this is a serious issue for you. Just trying to inject a little humor. Please don't leave!
No need to apologize. Once again, thanks your kindness and understanding.
 

ColleenT

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Jan 19, 2016
Messages
1,239
Location (City and/or State)
Lehigh Valley Pa
Please stay. You have something to offer. I understand that forums can be tricky to hande with certain people. just remember, you don't even know if that person is a high school graduate. You don't know what kind of genius or idiot they are. Don't let someone you don't even know be able to upset you.
 
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