Might Be Leaving T.F.O.

[dmmj]

I follow a very simple philosophy in life two actually you can please some of the people all the time and all the people some of the time but you can't please all of the people all of the time. And those who matter don't mind those who mind don't matter. Life is so much easier once you realize no one's opinion of you but yours matters

 

[Gillian M]

Unfortunately one mans humor is sometimes another persons misery.

Or: "One dog's meat is another dog's poison."

 

[Gillian M]

I was going to stay out of this discussion, but I feel I have to say something in defense of the person who hurt Gillian's feelings. This was a thread where experienced members were discussing tortoises. They have been keeping and breeding tortoises longer than most of us, and really know what they're talking about. Very experienced members. Gillian innocently advised them on what to do to help the tortoise. Very good advice...when given to a newbie. Not knowing Gillian or her experience level, one of them was a bit rude in his response to her post.

This happens. It's not something to take to heart. I'm sorry it happened to Gillian, but I understand her and how sensitive she is. These other people don't. Gillian, you have to just ignore things like this and try to move beyond it. Try to not let it bother you. And understand they don't know you. They're just responding to what you said. The forum would be a very sad place if all of us were alike. It's good that we have such a sensitive person as yourself here to balance us. Keep up the good work, and walk away from hurtful comments.

Thanks very much your understanding Yvonne. Please allow me to say that the fact that we do not know each other does NOT give any of us the right to be RUDE, IMPOLITE, HURTFUL, or am I mistaken? Knowing your (and here I do not mean you, Yvonne), does not give a member the green light to be NASTY either.

 

[Gillian M]

the person who upset Gillian is not the same person who upset me. 2 different people

True. And GOD only knows who is to get hurt next!

 

[MPRC]

In defense of what happened to Colleen, there's no excuse for it, and the OP was advised to play nice.

I caught the tail end of that and was pulled into it and I have to say I was quite surprised by the amount of attitude thrown my direction as well. I'm not a sensitive person and I hope that the person in question realizes that they were being a grade A jerk to both of us.

 

[Pearly]

Ok, so I must have been under a rock somewhere the whole time.... Completely oblivious... I must say, I must be becoming a goofball or something like that with age. I heard in one of the seminars "what others think of you is really none of your business" which I must admit I took to heart. Another one, that says: "when others look at you, they really see a reflection of their own soul, if they see you as beautiful, kind and smart, it because that how they see themselves, if in turn they see you as mean, ugly and stupid, it's because that's how they really see themselves". @Colleen and @GillianMoore, Ladies, I've seen nothing but kindness in your posts. That and love and respect for the animals. There's NOT ONE SINGLE REASON for anyone on this forum to snap at either of you. That's why I believe that "snapping" was not personal in either case and have nothing to do with you. The "snapper" was probably having a bad day, was feeling "on the edge"... Has some issues that are hard to deal with... I know it may feel like a perdonal attack when someone snaps at you but "the snapper" probably didn't even notice it. So please think nothing of it and carry on with your friendly kindness, which most of us here truly value and enjoy

 

[ascott]

From the other side.....I am one of those people who is straight to the point and very blunt. I'm constantly getting notices to back off, or my post is deleted. But just as you are so sensitive, I am blunt and honest. I am not liked here much, but that sure doesn't stop me from posting when I want. Surprisingly I have been hurt a lot from comments by those who think they are superior. BUT I'm not allowing anyone to chase me away. We are each our own person. DON'T allow a meanie grouchy person to chase you away, don't allow them to win. I have been misunderstood a lot. I am not mean and I would never deliberately hurt someone. But I am taken that way constantly. It was my tortoise they liked, not me.
If you are having problems with a person tell a moderator, it's their job to protect you and keep TFO running smooth.
Also if someone gives you a hard time just tell them to "fu*K off". It will make you feel a lot better. BUT don't allow a jerk (even if it's me) to chase you away.

LOL....Maggie, I adore you....so let me just say, if I am ever a jerk or a bonafied Ahole (which I can totally be.. if so invited or begged to be)....please don't be shy, just say so....we can duke it out , then pat the dust off when we are done and kick the rock down the road....same applies to all other here...

On a side note with regards to this thread (Ms Maggie, I hope you do not mind?)... I will be damned to be talked down to because for some reason someone who "believes" they are advanced, experienced or superior to any other person on this forum says so...well, I likely will pick up a rock and throw it directly at that person to provoke a draw....make no mistake at the difference...you and I have never had that situation....and while I am completely in love with Bob,(I know he is not here in this world with us but I still love him)..I also adore you on your own merit and not just because I love Bob....

I too allowed a person here to take up space in my head, once. Then realized F them, told/ discussed with them what was going on and then got past it....I don't hold it against them...people are people....if someone is nice, if someone is pleasant then awesome....if someone is a jerk or a super duper stinky ahole, either way acknowledgement is due....

Lastly, Maggie, if someone has an issue with you....just tag me in, we can double team them....

 

[ZEROPILOT]

Maggie must just be surprised to know how many fans she actually has...........

 

[Gillian M]

Ok, so I must have been under a rock somewhere the whole time.... Completely oblivious... I must say, I must be becoming a goofball or something like that with age. I heard in one of the seminars "what others think of you is really none of your business" which I must admit I took to heart. Another one, that says: "when others look at you, they really see a reflection of their own soul, if they see you as beautiful, kind and smart, it because that how they see themselves, if in turn they see you as mean, ugly and stupid, it's because that's how they really see themselves". @Colleen and @GillianMoore, Ladies, I've seen nothing but kindness in your posts. That and love and respect for the animals. There's NOT ONE SINGLE REASON for anyone on this forum to snap at either of you. That's why I believe that "snapping" was not personal in either case and have nothing to do with you. The "snapper" was probably having a bad day, was feeling "on the edge"... Has some issues that are hard to deal with... I know it may feel like a perdonal attack when someone snaps at you but "the snapper" probably didn't even notice it. So please think nothing of it and carry on with your friendly kindness, which most of us here truly value and enjoy

Thanks a lot your kind words Pearly..

 

[Maggie Cummings]

Maggie must just be surprised to know how many fans she actually has...........

Actually, I am.

 

[Maggie Cummings]

LOL....Maggie, I adore you....so let me just say, if I am ever a jerk or a bonafied Ahole (which I can totally be.. if so invited or begged to be)....please don't be shy, just say so....we can duke it out , then pat the dust off when we are done and kick the rock down the road....same applies to all other here...

On a side note with regards to this thread (Ms Maggie, I hope you do not mind?)... I will be damned to be talked down to because for some reason someone who "believes" they are advanced, experienced or superior to any other person on this forum says so...well, I likely will pick up a rock and throw it directly at that person to provoke a draw....make no mistake at the difference...you and I have never had that situation....and while I am completely in love with Bob,(I know he is not here in this world with us but I still love him)..I also adore you on your own merit and not just because I love Bob....

I too allowed a person here to take up space in my head, once. Then realized F them, told/ discussed with them what was going on and then got past it....I don't hold it against them...people are people....if someone is nice, if someone is pleasant then awesome....if someone is a jerk or a super duper stinky ahole, either way acknowledgement is due....

Lastly, Maggie, if someone has an issue with you....just tag me in, we can double team them....

I got lots of people have issues with me, where should we start????

 

[MPRC]

If anyone is ever mean to me I think I'll just hide behind Maggie and point her at them.

 

[Tom]

Maggie must just be surprised to know how many fans she actually has...........

Maggie knows she is well loved here, but she likes to hear it anyway.

 

[Cowboy_Ken]

For all that have yet to truly know, Gillian is a very warm, caring, loving person one would be proud to know and proud to have in their court, on their side in any situation. I give to her so very much of myself for the simple reason that she deserves this gratitude and well wishes. If you are holding back, LOL, sucker, so be your lose.

 

[jockma]

I hope I'm not one of the people that said anything hurtful! I don't recall any confrontations but if I made anyone upset I'm genuinely sorry and didn't mean to.

I'm on the autism spectrum, sometimes I say things that I mean as a compliment and find out I was being rude or crass because I can't read social cues well. So, if anybody has been upset by things I've said, feel free to let me know if I said something bad, I'm unaware of myself doing this and I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. I would never intentionally be mean on this forum.

I'm sorry that people have been cruel to you. The only bad experiences I've had were people being very defensive and aggressive when given advice to improve their animal husbandry and I'm thankful that I've only had good experiences otherwise.

 

[Gillian M]

I hope I'm not one of the people that said anything hurtful! I don't recall any confrontations but if I made anyone upset I'm genuinely sorry and didn't mean to.

I'm on the autism spectrum, sometimes I say things that I mean as a compliment and find out I was being rude or crass because I can't read social cues well. So, if anybody has been upset by things I've said, feel free to let me know if I said something bad, I'm unaware of myself doing this and I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. I would never intentionally be mean on this forum.

I'm sorry that people have been cruel to you. The only bad experiences I've had were people being very defensive and aggressive when given advice to improve their animal husbandry and I'm thankful that I've only had good experiences otherwise.

A very nice post-thank you! I only wish that the heartless members would change and think like you do!

 

[jockma]

A very nice post-thank you! I only wish that the heartless members would change and think like you do!

No problem! Though I think that usually when people are being cruel it is intentional and they don't care that they're hurting people. Whether they like the power trip or just like being mean, I don't know. There are always people like that.

If I ever say something mean, feel free to call me out, what probably happened is my thought process diverged at some point and I mistook my words as being kind when they're not. It happened a lot when I was a kid and it's infrequent now but I always want to make sure I'm not unknowingly hurting people.

 

[MPRC]

I hope I'm not one of the people that said anything hurtful! I don't recall any confrontations but if I made anyone upset I'm genuinely sorry and didn't mean to.

I'm on the autism spectrum, sometimes I say things that I mean as a compliment and find out I was being rude or crass because I can't read social cues well. So, if anybody has been upset by things I've said, feel free to let me know if I said something bad, I'm unaware of myself doing this and I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. I would never intentionally be mean on this forum.

You have always come across as polite as far as I have seen. I understand where you are coming from though, I spend a lot of time proof reading things for my boyfriend who is autistic. He has the same concerns about the tones in his writing.

 

[mctlong]

Hello everyone. Hope you are all well.

Would like to inform you ladies and gentlemen that I might be leaving the forum soon and very soon. Although I did learn a lot, I am obliged to say that some members are very hurtful, heartless, and do not know how to help/give advise diplomatically.

Thanks to those who have been of real help.

I'm hoping you've decided to stay. You are clearly an asset to this group and it would be a shame to lose you.

I'm not sure who you're referring to as "hurtful & heartless." Some passionate tortoise enthusiasts come off as blunt or uncaring on first impressions when this is the opposite of who they really are. Its hard to convey emotion in text. My advice is to be patient with them. Sometimes just taking a little extra time to get to know them and accepting that you two may never agree on some aspects of tortoise husbandry is enough to move forward.

That said, if someone is being outright insulting or bullying you, please report it to a mod ASAP. Trolling is not acceptable. This forum should be a supportive, welcoming place.

 

[Gillian M]

I'm hoping you've decided to stay. You are clearly an asset to this group and it would be a shame to lose you.

I'm not sure who you're referring to as "hurtful & heartless." Some passionate tortoise enthusiasts come off as blunt or uncaring on first impressions when this is the opposite of who they really are. Its hard to convey emotion in text. My advice is to be patient with them. Sometimes just taking a little extra time to get to know them and accepting that you two may never agree on some aspects of tortoise husbandry is enough to move forward.

That said, if someone is being outright insulting or bullying you, please report it to a mod ASAP. Trolling is not acceptable. This forum should be a supportive, welcoming place.

Thank you so much your post and your support. Appreciate both.

I do realize that it is not easy to convey emotion in text (as you put it) but one can tell if somebody is being rude, impolite, heartless, hurtful....you name it, instead of giving advise in a polite and diplomatic manner. Right? Please correct me if I am mistaken.