Posts and using discernment

Status
Not open for further replies.

Blessed3x

New Member
5 Year Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2010
Messages
141
Just something on my heart to post. When we read posts from other people sometimes we need to use decrement and also realize we may not be hearing the 'whole' story. There are always two sides to every story and one should not judge unless they know all the facts. Sometimes when people are upset they feel frustrated and some facts are left out. So no matter what the subject we should of course be compassionate, understanding, helpful yet slow to judge as many times there is more to something than we realize.

Sometimes people will break out in pissing contests, some will just sit back and let it be. I for one chose to sit back and let it be. I've been off this forum for many months due to way to much going on in my life, however I always felt this forum was a great one, well ran and nice people who are willing to give information and advice.

I'm looking forward to being back on here after a bit.
 

wellington

Well-Known Member
Moderator
10 Year Member!
Tortoise Club
Joined
Sep 6, 2011
Messages
44,253
Location (City and/or State)
Chicago, Illinois, USA
RE: Posts and using decernment

I agree and will take a second look at my postings before I hit the "post reply" button.
 

theelectraco

New Member
5 Year Member
Joined
Dec 12, 2012
Messages
1,484
Posts and using decernment

For an online forum, this place is as PG as it gets. At least from my experience. Sure there are disagreements from time to time, but for the most part everyone is respectful and cautious of what they say. Details may be left out and assumptions may get made, but 90% of the time other members ask for the details right away and it is OP who doesn't give them. In my opinion, there is quite of bit of babying on this forum, sometimes people need to be told how it really is. You can't always sugar coat everything.


0.1.0 Dachshund
0.0.1 Redfoot
1.0.0 Greek
0.0.1 Crested Gecko
 

Blessed3x

New Member
5 Year Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2010
Messages
141
RE: Posts and using decernment

True but if one doesn't have all the facts telling it like it is kind of isn't productive.
I have seen some forums get so nasty and break down and get split up, I don't consider this
forum a quite a bit of 'babying' I see it as we are all expected to act respectfully and maturely
and any less is not tolerated. This is one of the best run forums I have come across.
Yes sometimes people need to be told how it really is, yet what is real to one may not be real to another.
What one person says may not be all the facts. It's all good. I'm just saying there are always two sides to every story and
sometimes during someone's anger or frustration facts are left out.
 

kanalomele

Well-Known Member
Tortoise Club
5 Year Member
Platinum Tortoise Club
Joined
Apr 2, 2012
Messages
1,526
Location (City and/or State)
East Bay area
RE: Posts and using decernment

I agree with the point of "not sugar coating" everything. However, I think it is equally important to be respectful and accept that there are many people who do things differently and still find success. Most of us long time keepers have learned to adjust and revise our methods over the years. This forum is perfect for keepers of all skill and experience levels. But in order to keep it that way we individually have to focus on making our statements as clear, informative and dispassionate as possible.
 

mctlong

Moderator
5 Year Member
Joined
Oct 17, 2009
Messages
2,658
Location (City and/or State)
SF Valley, SoCal
RE: Posts and using decernment

Blessed3x said:
Just something on my heart to post. When we read posts from other people sometimes we need to use decrement and also realize we may not be hearing the 'whole' story. There are always two sides to every story and one should not judge unless they know all the facts. Sometimes when people are upset they feel frustrated and some facts are left out. So no matter what the subject we should of course be compassionate, understanding, helpful yet slow to judge as many times there is more to something than we realize.

Sometimes people will break out in pissing contests, some will just sit back and let it be. I for one chose to sit back and let it be. I've been off this forum for many months due to way to much going on in my life, however I always felt this forum was a great one, well ran and nice people who are willing to give information and advice.

I'm looking forward to being back on here after a bit.

Well said. :)
 

hunterk997

Member
5 Year Member
Joined
Mar 17, 2013
Messages
897
Location (City and/or State)
Wayland, NY
Posts and using decernment

Wouldn't this be better under "off topic chit chat?"
 

7oasty23

New Member
5 Year Member
Joined
Apr 15, 2013
Messages
231
Posts and using decernment

I'm curious as to what the other side of the story is? I know a lot of us read the thread that made you post this, but you haven't actually said anything about the reasons behind what you did.
 

Tom

The Dog Trainer
10 Year Member!
Platinum Tortoise Club
Joined
Jan 9, 2010
Messages
59,305
Location (City and/or State)
Southern California
RE: Posts and using decernment

So you did actually pay the money you owed and the other poster in not being completely truthful?

I'm willing to listen if you would like to tell your side of the story.
 

loyolaboy98

New Member
5 Year Member
Joined
May 20, 2013
Messages
102
Location (City and/or State)
Chicago, Illinois
What forum is this based off of?


Kyle & Turbo


I mean topic


Kyle & Turbo


Ohhhh ik which one... carol im sorry it was a joke i never sent u a pm im really sorry. I will not judge anyone on this forum again. :(


Kyle & Turbo


While we are on the topic i feel like a lot of people are judgeing me right now after viewing this thread. Literally no one has said anything on my thread whil 10x the people have posted on this and many other threads in half the time...


Kyle & Turbo
 

mightymizz

Member
5 Year Member
Joined
Jun 2, 2012
Messages
321
Feel free to let us know whether you paid the money or not. It seems "fairly simple" to me to determine. I mean either there was offer of money, or they were just "given" away freely.
 

Blessed3x

New Member
5 Year Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2010
Messages
141
All I am going to say is there is more to that post than was said. I don't feel the need to defend myself, I have told some
of the admins/mods. I don't feel I need to or have to explain myself to a few thousand people I don't even know.
And since none of you are involved I don't feel it appropriate for any of you who are not directly involved to ask me to explain myself.
I'm not trying to be rude but in that other post some other information was left out. Although some of you mention you are 'willing' to listen
I don't feel hundred if not thousands need to be involved. Just remember there are always two sides to each story.
If I had read either post I would not feel I was due an explanation if I were not directly involved. Seems to me with all the other topics
about tortoises there doesn't need to be drama. Just my opinion. I'm not trying to be rude, I'm not trying to be evasive. Just feel
if someone wasn't personally involved they don't need to feel they are owed an explanation. If I were in any of your shoe's I would not
at all feel I was due an explanation. It wouldn't be my business. As I mentioned I did offer my explanations to some of the mods and
a couple of nice people who were nice enough to ask me in a PM and not feeling they were 'owed' an explanation.
 

Tom

The Dog Trainer
10 Year Member!
Platinum Tortoise Club
Joined
Jan 9, 2010
Messages
59,305
Location (City and/or State)
Southern California
If someone came onto a public forum and accused me of dodging my bills, and it wasn't true, I'd give a simple explanation.

Just making this up entirely, but something along the lines of "I got laid off of work unexpectedly and the seller of my tortoise told me to just pay whenever I got the money, but now the seller has grown impatient, etc..."

You don't owe us an explanation, but since we are all friends here and part of a community with a common interest, a brief explanation seems reasonable. You certainly don't need to go into detail or tell us your life story, but dishonesty, broken promises and not paying one's bills could certainly be considered "Conduct Unbecoming" in a community situation like this. If these things did not happen, you should really say so, and explain why that other thread exists. Sorry your dirty laundry went public, but we can't help that it did. If you choose not to explain, we'll all just have to make decisions based on the info we DO have.
 

7oasty23

New Member
5 Year Member
Joined
Apr 15, 2013
Messages
231
I'm with Tom on this one. If there is a legitimate reason for not paying, then you should let the community know. How will you ever be trusted to do business? You can keep it quiet, but I doubt anyone will ever deal with you on this forum ever again.
 

Blessed3x

New Member
5 Year Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2010
Messages
141
Well then if that is the case so be it. The fact that I had never prior had any complaints. If one complaint is enough to never deal with me 'ever again'
then I guess I'll have to live with it. Tom due to you and I Pm'ing in the past I did PM you. You had always been kind to me, answering questions. sharing wisdom.
Due to you and I having chatted (PM) in the past I did PM you. However those who have never dealt with me who have never even gotten to know me
via PM's and chatting in posts I don't know why you feel you are owed an explanation. I'm not trying to be a witch. Just don't feel I need to iron out my
personal issues on here. No one else has ever had an issue with me about not paying. But I do realize it is human nature to remember the one wrong or mistake and not the
dozens of rights.
 

7oasty23

New Member
5 Year Member
Joined
Apr 15, 2013
Messages
231
No one feels like they need an explanation. A member posted a buyer beware thread, and you felt the need to make your own thread. You were the one who furthered the discussion, and you never told your side of the story. And I know if someone publicly accused me of ripping them off, not saying you did, I would tell the community the truth. Unfortunately we only have heard one side of the story, so that is what our opinions will be based on. I'm sorry if I offended, but until we hear otherwise, people will assume that you are dishonest. If that is not the case, then you should enlighten everyone.
 

luvpetz27

New Member
5 Year Member
Joined
Sep 16, 2012
Messages
2,841
Location (City and/or State)
Ohio USA
I have learned to not believe only one side of a story. There are always two sides. I received a pm and heard the other side. I am glad she even took the time to let some of us know her side and to post her feelings on here.
 

Blessed3x

New Member
5 Year Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2010
Messages
141
7oasty23 said:
No one feels like they need an explanation. A member posted a buyer beware thread, and you felt the need to make your own thread. You were the one who furthered the discussion, and you never told your side of the story. And I know if someone publicly accused me of ripping them off, not saying you did, I would tell the community the truth. Unfortunately we only have heard one side of the story, so that is what our opinions will be based on. I'm sorry if I offended, but until we hear otherwise, people will assume that you are dishonest. If that is not the case, then you should enlighten everyone.

It was a seller beware not a buyer beware.
Until a couple of people emailed me I had not been on this forum in almost 8 months or so.
Special thanks to all who asked me in private or who took the time to hear my side of the story in private.
It is what it is, she was not incorrect yet she left out some major facts. I'm going to get off here and enjoy my grandchildren. Good Night all.
Super special thanks to Tom, Mr. Tom you always were kind to me in the past and your PM tonight was most kind and made sense, thank you kind Sir.
I will say this, she was correct in some of her statements but kind of left out a few facts. I will give you all one fact and then I am done with this
She was offered the tortoise back MONTHS ago, yes she was getting ready to move but it was months before the move. I am sorry this ever happened.
I truly wish she just took it back. Personally me??? If I was in her shoes and I felt I was being done wrong (Which I was not trying to do anything wrong just saying if I felt that way)
I would of beat feet to go get the tortoise
back when it was offered back. She declined.
 

Turtulas-Len

Well-Known Member
10 Year Member!
Joined
Aug 3, 2010
Messages
4,700
Location (City and/or State)
Southern Md - Northern Neck Va
Grandchildren are great, we have our 12 year old grand daughter from Colorado for the summer and a 2 year old grandson every other week for the week, it is a great summer, just a little to much rain. Go enjoy yours!!!
 

Sterling Thunder

Member
5 Year Member
Joined
May 8, 2013
Messages
139
Location (City and/or State)
Ashburn, VA
From the vague and innocuous statements provided by you, the seller can legitimately say beware. Good intentions and unfortunate changes in circumstance mean little when an agreement is entered and only one party to the agreement satisfies the conditions both agreed to.

I believe you when you say you didn't intend to mess over the seller, but it certainly sounds like you did and wanting to just send the animal back or wishing it hadnt happened isn't a viable resolution. It is unfortunate you are in this situation but it is on you to make it right to satisfy the agreement you made. I highly suggest that you sell the animal and have the money sent directly to the original owner plus or minus any difference of what you owe. I have little doubt that someone on the forum would buy the tort that can better provide for it.

I hope there is a satisfactory resolution for all parties and I am sorry you both find yourselves in this situation.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

New Posts

Top