Talk some sense into me PLEASE!!!!!

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Tracy Gould

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I am a big pet lover and when i am down i want pets. I lose Dad on the 21st of November last year so i stuggle day to to day to not curl up and cry. When i feel like this i crave pets I have a few and I love them to bits. Shelby is the love of my life (pet wise) I always wanted a Tort and when i final got my hubby to agree i was made up. But Tort cost money heating Bills go up and over wintering young Torts really hits the budget. I just got Shelby to the age were i can let him sleep for the winter and save the stress of finding food for him and having the night heat on. So why am I now looking for a new Baby female Tort, so I can breed Shelby in a few years ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Help !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

lynnedit

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So sorry about your Dad last year. That is really hard.
Perhaps the fact that you will need 3 females for Shelby will help stop you? One female would likely get harassed to death, so you need one male to 3 females, and probably a very big outside enclosure.

Meanwhile, what about a Budgie?
 

DesertGrandma

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I have the same struggle with wanting a big dog. I remind myself of all the reasons that it is NOT a good idea, and finally the urge passes. Good luck fighting your urge to get a female. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. Try to just remember all the good times and things that bring a smile to your face. ((HUGS))
 

Tracy Gould

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lynnedit said:
So sorry about your Dad last year. That is really hard.
Perhaps the fact that you will need 3 females for Shelby will help stop you? One female would likely get harassed to death, so you need one male to 3 females, and probably a very big outside enclosure.

Meanwhile, what about a Budgie?

Thanks hun that helps a bit not sure hubby could be convinced to let me have 1 more but 3 no way would he let me have 3 but it still as me thinking how nice it would be to breed him. O well guess i need to put a few more fish in my tank lol.
 

tortadise

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Sorry for your loss of an endearing person that obviously portrayed a very deep and attached emotional connection with you. People tend to escape from the way we handle our most deep and tough moments of life that is a common thing about us people. The gaining of multiple or more animals could only blanket this emotion away from you. Remember the best times, the best memories, the warm moments, the funny times, the awe inspiring times with your dad. Animals or food, or even drugs are some peoples choice to escape the hardships we experience. be strong show your dad you loved him and still do and be what he saw you best as his legacy. The choice is always yours to decide of adding another animals but the memories of your father is no choice, its a part of life we must take steps to let it be and cherish what was most precious about those moments.
 

Tracy Gould

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DesertGrandma said:
I have the same struggle with wanting a big dog. I remind myself of all the reasons that it is NOT a good idea, and finally the urge passes. Good luck fighting your urge to get a female. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. Try to just remember all the good times and things that bring a smile to your face. ((HUGS))

Thanks hun I always been like this I feel low i Want a pet It been like Noahs ark here over the years I still have a dog 1 guinea pig and a tank of fish as well as Shelby but thats less than I had before I lost a few pets. I do not know why I am doing it because I know I only feel better for a short while then it hurts again and nothing is going to replace my Dad. I am going to fight the feeling to get a girlfriend for Shelby till after the 21st of November that's the 1 year mark i got a feeling that's the root of all this I know its coming up and I am looking to distract myself with a baby to look after.


tortadise said:
Sorry for your loss of an endearing person that obviously portrayed a very deep and attached emotional connection with you. People tend to escape from the way we handle our most deep and tough moments of life that is a common thing about us people. The gaining of multiple or more animals could only blanket this emotion away from you. Remember the best times, the best memories, the warm moments, the funny times, the awe inspiring times with your dad. Animals or food, or even drugs are some peoples choice to escape the hardships we experience. be strong show your dad you loved him and still do and be what he saw you best as his legacy. The choice is always yours to decide of adding another animals but the memories of your father is no choice, its a part of life we must take steps to let it be and cherish what was most precious about those moments.

Thank you hun x
 

Tortoise

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Tracy Gould said:
DesertGrandma said:
I have the same struggle with wanting a big dog. I remind myself of all the reasons that it is NOT a good idea, and finally the urge passes. Good luck fighting your urge to get a female. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. Try to just remember all the good times and things that bring a smile to your face. ((HUGS))

Thanks hun I always been like this I feel low i Want a pet It been like Noahs ark here over the years I still have a dog 1 guinea pig and a tank of fish as well as Shelby but thats less than I had before I lost a few pets. I do not know why I am doing it because I know I only feel better for a short while then it hurts again and nothing is going to replace my Dad. I am going to fight the feeling to get a girlfriend for Shelby till after the 21st of November that's the 1 year mark i got a feeling that's the root of all this I know its coming up and I am looking to distract myself with a baby to look after.


tortadise said:
Sorry for your loss of an endearing person that obviously portrayed a very deep and attached emotional connection with you. People tend to escape from the way we handle our most deep and tough moments of life that is a common thing about us people. The gaining of multiple or more animals could only blanket this emotion away from you. Remember the best times, the best memories, the warm moments, the funny times, the awe inspiring times with your dad. Animals or food, or even drugs are some peoples choice to escape the hardships we experience. be strong show your dad you loved him and still do and be what he saw you best as his legacy. The choice is always yours to decide of adding another animals but the memories of your father is no choice, its a part of life we must take steps to let it be and cherish what was most precious about those moments.

Thank you hun x



Hi
I am sorry to hear about your father.
I too think I have had the same problem at times. We live in a different country to my entire family now and I miss some family and friends so much and I love animals, in fact during any emotional times in my life I have always depended on animals.Even as a child with no dogs, cats etc I would take all the neighbourhood dogs for walks and spend lots of time with them and I think deep down they filled a void.
I see now with my collection I have to be true to myself when considering anything else as I think I have realised recently(its hard to accept this) that I am trying to fill in for the family I miss with the animals and it would be very easy to get too many as it only helps in the short term.
Its hard to cope with these feelings but knowing why the feelings occur is a big step in helping us understand why we try to compensate for things.

I truly hope you will heal after the loss of your father and try to embrace the animals you already have when you feel down.(nobody can take away your precious memories) You are certainly not alone in this and I suspect there are a lot of others out there with similar feelings.

It takes great courage to acknowledge such feelings-you should be proud of that!
Take Care!
 

Edna

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Tracy Gould said:
Thanks hun I always been like this I feel low i Want a pet It been like Noahs ark here over the years I still have a dog 1 guinea pig and a tank of fish as well as Shelby but thats less than I had before I lost a few pets. I do not know why I am doing it because I know I only feel better for a short while then it hurts again and nothing is going to replace my Dad. I am going to fight the feeling to get a girlfriend for Shelby till after the 21st of November that's the 1 year mark i got a feeling that's the root of all this I know its coming up and I am looking to distract myself with a baby to look after.

Condolences on the loss of your father. Because you are describing a pattern that includes wanting a new pet for some temporary solace, I suggest fostering a second dog, or even a puppy, in agreement with a rescue. You would get the new-happy-animal-love you crave, and some lucky littly pup would get a warm and loving home until permanent placement is found.
 

Laura

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I lost my dad too.. some really hard days...

Can you find a place to volunteer at that care for animals? that way, you get to be with them, help them,, but not have the expense..
 

kanalomele

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So sorry for your loss. I like the suggestion to do some volunteer work at a local shelter or even a doggy daycare. Often giving back to others can help us to get out of a depressed state and into a grateful one. Whatever you do i hope it helps you cope with this painful loss.
 

Tracy Gould

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kanalomele said:
So sorry for your loss. I like the suggestion to do some volunteer work at a local shelter or even a doggy daycare. Often giving back to others can help us to get out of a depressed state and into a grateful one. Whatever you do i hope it helps you cope with this painful loss.

Taht a great idea
 
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