What To Do About Pics Of Inappropriate Tortoise Practices?

[CharlieM]

Yes it's for animals @wellington in fact very similar content to this forum.
Again, I'm just sharing an example not agreeing or disagreeing. I will add though that many don't post much for fear of being judged and lectured...

 

[Elohi]

Yes it's for animals @wellington in fact very similar content to this forum.
Again, I'm just sharing an example not agreeing or disagreeing. I will add though that many don't post much for fear of being judged and lectured...

And are there a lot of animals lost in this group? I am member of several fb groups and one in particular is heavy in animal loss... (Hatchlings in particular)

 

[CharlieM]

And are there a lot of animals lost in this group? I am member of several fb groups and one in particular is heavy in animal loss... (Hatchlings in particular)

No. They aren't dropping like flies.

 

[aundreagwen]

I have been on this forum a very short time. I came on here after acquiring two tortoises and showing off the enclosure. Immediately I was advised to separate the tortoises and given tips about the enclosure. I posted pictures of my dogs with the tortoise and was immediately cautioned about what could happen. I am a new tortoise owner who clearly has a lot to learn and I took everyone's advice and knew it was for the better of my animal. I have seen people here get very offended with the recommendations offered. If you truly care for your animal and you want the best life for them than you should not take offense to people giving you advice on how to properly care for them. These are creatures that need a certain level of specialized care and I feel the only way to learn how to care for them best is from people who have experience. I thank everyone who has given me advice and warned me of things I am doing wrong or what could go wrong.

 

[Tom]

I have been on this forum a very short time. I came on here after acquiring two tortoises and showing off the enclosure. Immediately I was advised to separate the tortoises and given tips about the enclosure. I posted pictures of my dogs with the tortoise and was immediately cautioned about what could happen. I am a new tortoise owner who clearly has a lot to learn and I took everyone's advice and knew it was for the better of my animal. I have seen people here get very offended with the recommendations offered. If you truly care for your animal and you want the best life for them than you should not take offense to people giving you advice on how to properly care for them. These are creatures that need a certain level of specialized care and I feel the only way to learn how to care for them best is from people who have experience. I thank everyone who has given me advice and warned me of things I am doing wrong or what could go wrong.

Thank you for sharing this. The interesting thing for me about this subject is that some people take it like you did and thank the people who tried to help them, while other people get defensive and snotty and don't seem to appreciate the help. Why?

Why did you get the impression we only wanted to help, while others think they are being insulted and attacked? Is it the personality of the the receiver? Is it the manner of the advice giver? Both?

I've been so successful at helping so many people and I have received so many thanks both publicly and privately, but I still seem to offend a few people every year with the same words I used for the many people who are thanking me. It would be easy to just write it off as those few people are messed up, but I want to improve my methods. Anyone who leaves mad or frustrated is not going to get help for their tortoise, and that is the opposite of my goal.

Would you mind giving a brief explanation of why you perceived the words directed your way as such a positive message? Or maybe some insight into why someone else might have perceived those same words differently?

 

[AnimalLady]

Thank you for sharing this. The interesting thing for me about this subject is that some people take it like you did and thank the people who tried to help them, while other people get defensive and snotty and don't seem to appreciate the help. Why?

Why did you get the impression we only wanted to help, while others think they are being insulted and attacked? Is it the personality of the the receiver? Is it the manner of the advice giver? Both?

I've been so successful at helping so many people and I have received so many thanks both publicly and privately, but I still seem to offend a few people every year with the same words I used for the many people who are thanking me. It would be easy to just write it off as those few people are messed up, but I want to improve my methods. Anyone who leaves mad or frustrated is not going to get help for their tortoise, and that is the opposite of my goal.

Would you mind giving a brief explanation of why you perceived the words directed your way as such a positive message? Or maybe some insight into why someone else might have perceived those same words differently?

Tom,
I'm going to be 100% honest with you, don't get mad.

Some of your responses come off sounding dck-headed. I read one the other day and I'm trying to remember where and I was like... oh man, it was a bit cold I guess. I'll see if I can remember where I read it and link it.

*backs up slowly*

 

[AnimalLady]

ok, I cant find it, sorry :\

 

[Alaskamike]

Tom,
I'm going to be 100% honest with you, don't get mad.

Some of your responses come off sounding dck-headed. I read one the other day and I'm trying to remember where and I was like... oh man, it was a bit cold I guess. I'll see if I can remember where I read it and link it.

*backs up slowly*

The issue , I believe , is often that the printed word is more sensitive to interpretation than a face to face discussion. This is why those little emoticons were created.
When we read something , we project our interpretation on it and often are reading " between the lines" for the meaning and emotional impact.

What I try to do , since I communicate in print often ,,is to check my intent as I write. In other words : search my motivations a bit to be certain what they are so that my writing conveys that.

There are times I intentionally want to bring someone up short - make a pithy point- maybe even bring into question their intelligence. But if this is not my intent , I chose my words a bit more carefully.

My background is in science. I'll never forget asking a question in graduate school and the professor responding with

" Now that's a stupid question !"

And it was.

Quite a shock to my system. Hahaha

And a direct challenge to my intellect. But good for me.

Here we have no idea the background, learning, experience or sometimes even the age of who we are corresponding with - unless they tell us. Even then much is unknown.

The extreme efforts and time folks on here like Tom , Yvonne, Wellington, N2TORTS, and many many others devote for absolutely no remuneration is amazing. Sometimes when giving advice it is interpreted as insulting or overly critical.

But I think , as one who reads allot of replies ,,99% of the time it is well written and measured.

The occasional pithy reply is just that - occasional. ⚠️

 

[Tom]

ok, I cant find it, sorry :\

I can't explain or learn from it if we can't find it...

 

[AnimalLady]

The issue , I believe , is often that the printed word is more sensitive to interpretation than a face to face discussion. This is why those little emoticons were created.
When we read something , we project our interpretation on it and often are reading " between the lines" for the meaning and emotional impact.

What I try to do , since I communicate in print often ,,is to check my intent as I write. In other words : search my motivations a bit to be certain what they are so that my writing conveys that.

There are times I intentionally want to bring someone up short - make a pithy point- maybe even bring into question their intelligence. But if this is not my intent , I chose my words a bit more carefully.

My background is in science. I'll never forget asking a question in graduate school and the professor responding with

" Now that's a stupid question !"

And it was.

Quite a shock to my system. Hahaha

And a direct challenge to my intellect. But good for me.

Here we have no idea the background, learning, experience or sometimes even the age of who we are corresponding with - unless they tell us. Even then much is unknown.

The extreme efforts and time folks on here like Tom , Yvonne, Wellington, N2TORTS, and many many others devote for absolutely no remuneration is amazing. Sometimes when giving advice it is interpreted as insulting or overly critical.

But I think , as one who reads allot of replies ,,99% of the time it is well written and measured.

The occasional pithy reply is just that - occasional. ⚠️

YES, I agree 100% with you. See, ive been here for about a month, reading and reading and reading. I have become familiar with some of the people here, the more outspoken ones (you're one of them) I have already picked up on how some people here speak, I know that some are more giggly, some are more serious, some are dry.. etc etc. BUT, if I was completely new and I got a somewhat cold or dry response I might use caution on how I post or interact with people here. Luckily for me, my personality doesn't allow me to take anything to heart, I can converse with a wide range of people and never get emotionally bothered. That's not the case for all though.

I didn't mean to offend Tom, or anyone else with my comment, I honestly just said what I felt. I appreciate the advice and conversation I get on here.... I was just sayin'

 

[AnimalLady]

I can't explain or learn from it if we can't find it...

I know, I'm sorry Tom, I'm still looking! Please don't get mad with me!

 

[Tom]

I know, I'm sorry Tom, I'm still looking! Please don't get mad with me!

Why would I be mad? You are answering a question that I asked. You are helping me.

 

[AnimalLady]

Why would I be mad? You are answering a question that I asked. You are helping me.

It took a lot of guts for me to say that and I was pretty worried you'd be pissed.... good to know you aren't! I will continue looking.

I do remember the response being straight forward and to the point and cold. FML I just cant remember where!!

 

[aundreagwen]

Speaking for myself, I have been a member of a boston terrier forum for 7 years so I am familiar with the environment. Tone is difficult to gauge in print and some people take being told they're wrong very personal, regardless of how it is delivered.

 

[Tom]

ok, I cant find it, sorry :\

Was it this one?
http://www.tortoiseforum.org/threads/sulcata-tortoise-feeding.130274/

 

[Kapidolo Farms]

Was it this one?
http://www.tortoiseforum.org/threads/sulcata-tortoise-feeding.130274/

To me multiple 'why' sound like a bored little kid, why? blah blah blah. why? etc.

like maybe you didn't have the time to offer much, but didn't want to loose the question so blurted out a bunch of why's. No dhead though.

 

[dmmj]

IRL tom is very nice just FYI. not at all intimidating whatsoever.

 

[AnimalLady]

Was it this one?
http://www.tortoiseforum.org/threads/sulcata-tortoise-feeding.130274/

No, it was a shorter response, but, uhm that ones a bit nasty too..

I want to say it was either about a dog or the tort roaming the house.. Something the owner was doing wrong, for the life of me I can't find it.

I don't know if I'm right, but I think the sentence started with "Let me guess" again, I'm not positive, but I seem to remember something along those lines..

 

[AnimalLady]

IRL tom is very nice just FYI. not at all intimidating whatsoever.

I bet he is.... I don't think he's mean! Errz, maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut :/

 

[Levi the Leopard]

IRL tom is very nice just FYI. not at all intimidating whatsoever.

Seriously, it's true.

After being around him, I can't wrap my brain around people's accusations that's he's a prideful know it all.
He's not.

I don't like typed discussions for this very reason. You can't interpret tone or body language.