Pathetic Craigs List ad

[COmtnLady]

There is so much wrong with this that I can't even begin...​

Baby Succulant Tortoise (Fort Collins)​

Hi I have A Smart heathy Baby tortoise available. He comes in A great Habitat with lights. . Once he knows the voice of his owner he will come to you. He’s very Kool. If he lays all sprawled out it means he needs water. Easy to care for an a lot of fun! He loves Baby spring mix. He’s Definitely going to be the one who feeds lows you around as he gets larger. I’m asking A small rehoming fee for everything that is enclosed! Serious inquiries only!

 

[Littleredfootbigredheart]

The set up pretty much ticks every red flag goingso hope this baby gets a better home!

Wish it was closer to @EppsDynasty

 

[COmtnLady]

I'm wondering if the poor little "suculant tortoise" has any kidneys left if it only got water when it was so severely dehydrated that it almost passed out...


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[TammyJ]

I wonder what age the poster is. What a disaster.

 

[Chefdenoel10]

I'm wondering if the poor little "suculant tortoise" has any kidneys left if it only got water when it was so severely dehydrated that it almost passed out...


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…..
Don’t tell me THAT!!!!….

Someone please help/get this little guy before it’s too late!!!!
@EppsDynasty
Heeeelp!!!!!!

 

[COmtnLady]

Fort Collins has one of the state's larger universities, so I'm going to bet this person is a college student (who probably doesn't know how to take of himself either).

 

[EppsDynasty]

Found the Ad and sent a message.

 

[Chefdenoel10]

Found the Ad and sent a message.

 

[Tim Carlisle]

Succulent tortoises are a very rare species. They are native to the desert regions of central Greenland. Nearly impossible to find in the U.S. I've seen these go for eleventy million dollars before on Craigslist, and that doesn't include that awesome elaborate setup.

This particular species learns English quickly and will respond with a series of clicks and grunts that emulate Morse code. At an early age, the rely on hand gestures and body language especially when thirsty.