Amazon or Google?

[Lokkje]

I have fingers and a light switch. The only thing that’s the least bit automated is the enclosure I got from Mark and it took me the most time to figure out how to work that. It took me longer to program it on my phone then it took me to build the entire enclosure.

 

[Lokkje]

I am my own smart device. I also don’t use umbrellas, I have an A.R. 15, a Sig Sauer 220, a Sig Sauer 226, a Smith & Wesson 686+, a Mossberg shotgun and a really bad attitude if anybody wants to come in my house uninvited.

 

[Golden Greek Tortoise 567]

An umbrella? That will teach those bad guys! They won't make that mistake again!

I honestly don’t know why that umbrella was upstairs, maybe one of the kids brought it up. The umbrella would definitely hurt those people badly! Show them whose boss! ?

 

[Golden Greek Tortoise 567]

Well you know how people are, they don’t usually think things through until they look back on what they’ve done. Typical.?

 

[Tom]

He found Alexa evilly laughing and unplugged her.

We have a bird that does that. Not kidding. It is the most sinister evil laugh you've ever heard.

My wife sends me downstairs with a minimum of two trained malinois and a 12 gauge.

But after your post, Im going to spend some time reconsidering that tactical applications of an umbrella instead.

 

[KarenSoCal]

It was terrifying, my husband took an umbrella downstairs to hit anyone with and to see if anyone was in the house

Hmmm, I have an assortment of "attitude adjusters" in the house. But I've never counted my umbrella among them. ?

 

[Golden Greek Tortoise 567]

Umbrellas are now the modern versions of swords. Best defense out there.

 

[Blackdog1714]

But a Paul Chen Practical Ninja sword is the best! IT happens when you have a Filipino friend. You should see the knives I have acquired and they are his cast offs!

 

[KarenSoCal]

Does my wife count? ?

Oh yes! She counts! ?‍???‍?

 

[Tom]

But a Paul Chen Practical Ninja sword is the best! IT happens when you have a Filipino friend. You should see the knives I have acquired and they are his cast offs!

I have a matching katana and wakizashi on my head board. Also of the practical variety. Meant to be used, more so than decorations. I practice with them on pumpkins every fall. You don't want to be an uninvited pumpkin in my house...

 

[Pastel Tortie]

Umbrellas are now the modern versions of swords. Best defense out there.

Maybe you could add a nice baseball bat to your umbrella holder... Reach for that instead.

 

[Golden Greek Tortoise 567]

Nope, umbrellas are much better. Baseball bats you can only hit someone with. Umbrellas have lots of ways to inflict pain on your victim. Open the umbrella and you can hit them in the face. My umbrella has a pointy end, you can stab the victim. Last but certainly not least you can go classic and just give them a wack on the head with it. ?

 

[Blackdog1714]

Nope, umbrellas are much better. Baseball bats you can only hit someone with. Umbrellas have lots of ways to inflict pain on your victim. Open the umbrella and you can hit them in the face. My umbrella has a pointy end, you can stab the victim. Last but certainly not least you can go classic and just give them a wack on the head with it. ?

Oh please tell me it has a dagger in the handle. My buddy found a sword cane years ago that he was saving for when he got old and needed the cane!

 

[Golden Greek Tortoise 567]

I can attach a pocket knife to it, then we can pretend it‘s a sword cane ?

 

[Tom]

I can attach a pocket knife to it, then we can pretend it‘s a sword cane ?

YES! An umbrella with a bayonet!!!

 

[Pastel Tortie]

I have a matching katana and wakizashi on my head board. Also of the practical variety. Meant to be used, more so than decorations. I practice with them on pumpkins every fall. You don't want to be an uninvited pumpkin in my house...

@Chubbs the tegu Okay, so no taking decorating advice from @Tom until AFTER you get a girlfriend. WAY after. SMH...

 

[Chubbs the tegu]

@Chubbs the tegu Okay, so no taking decorating advice from @Tom until AFTER you get a girlfriend. WAY after. SMH...

No worries. I only have handcuffs and a paddle on my headboard... i use for pumpkins also

 

[Pastel Tortie]

Maybe we'll just add that to the list of things that should NOT be connected to a smart house.