The wife (joke)

[dmmj]

Now while I think this joke is wrong I still LOL'ed at it

A man was sitting at home alone when he heard a knock on the front door.
There were two sheriffs there. He asked them if there was a problem.

One of the sheriffs asked if he was married and if he could see a picture of his wife.

The guy says "sure " and shows him a picture of his wife.

The sheriff says, "I sorry sir, but it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."

The guy says, " I know, but she has a great personality, and is a good cook too."

 

[Cfr200]

This one reminds me of another one
A man and his wife are out fishing on the ocean in Maine. The water is a bit rough and the the wife falls out of the boat and drowns. The man returns to shore and notifies the authorities about the accident. The Police and Coast Guard search for her and about 3 days later the man is at home and gets a visit from the state police.
The police officer says " I have good news we have found your wife's body and she had 4 lobsters attached to her. What would you like us to do with her body?"
The man thinks a minute and then says "peg the lobster and throw her back again."

 

[ChiKat]

tsk tsk

 

[Sky2Mina]

2nd joke is even worse *chuckle*

 

[dmarcus]

lol i think..

 

[Missy]

Thats just not right, but funny

 

[Tom]

I never got these "jokes" until I had been married a few years...

 

[Edna]

I feel more loved and valued than that. But then, I'm not a wife

 

[FranklinAndTara]

haha... heres my favorite joke ever! its a little crude but ill edit it

Sorry still too crude for a family forum, so I had to delete it....by Mod Jacqui

 

[Fernando]

HA! good one...

 

[TylerStewart]

A friend of mine put this on Facebook the other day:

All arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination to determine whether admission will be granted.

One room has a clerk who inputs computerized records of what each applicant did on his or her last day of life.

The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a good one.

I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just gotten out of the shower. Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too. I knew she was into some hanky-panky and I began to look for her lover.

"I went onto the balcony of our 9th-floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the rail by his finger tips. I was so angry that I began bashing his fingers with a flower pot. He let go and fell, but his fall was broken by some awnings and bushes.

On seeing he was still alive I found super-human strength to drag our antique cedar chest to the balcony and throw it over. It hit the man and killed him.

At this point, the stress got to me and I suffered a massive heart attack and died."

The clerk thanked him and sent him on to the next office.

The second applicant said that his last day was his worst.

"I was on the roof of an apartment building working on the AC equipment. I stumbled over my tools and toppled off the building. I managed to grab onto the balcony rail of a 9th-floor apartment, but some idiot came rushing out on the balcony and bashed my hands with a flower pot.

I fell but hit some awnings and bushes and survived, but as I looked up, I saw a huge chest falling right towards me. I tried to crawl out of the
way but failed and was hit and killed by the chest."

The clerk couldn't help but chuckle as he directs the man to the next room.

He is still giggling when his third customer of the day enters. He apologizes and says, "I doubt that your last day was as interesting as the fellow in here just before you."

"I don't know," replies the man, "picture this, I'm buck naked hiding in this cedar chest..."

 

[Edna]

Thanks, Tyler, that one actually made me/us laugh!

 

[Sky2Mina]

Hahaha! Nice one Tyler!

 

[BlackMountain412]

How do you get your wife to scream while your having sex?


Call her and ask her to!