Dealing with a tortoise's death

[Mom of Zitouna]

Hey everyone...

I am... Was the mom of three tortoises. Lost two of them because of me living in a third world country and being unable to provide proper care... Or at least that's what I think.

They were both so small. One of them stayed with me for 3 months and the other for a bit longer.

My first tortoise, I loved her so dearly. I used to watch her eat and pat her. I could watch her all day and I'd even sleep with her by my side. I was completely in love with her, she was my baby... When she died, I cried and kept patting her head, not believing she died. I buried her on a rainy day, alone.


After that, a family member felt bad for me and bought me a new baby tortoise. I was reticent to take her, and didn't even want to name her at first. But eventually I warmed up to her and even decided a bit later to get another tortoise. I knew better than with my first, and I knew I'd be able to provide better care... I thought.

My third, a tiny, tiny tortoise which was so small she almost had no weight, wasn't healthy. She quickly died too and I buried her on a rainy day too. I didn't even cry or say anything, just took her and buried her without telling anyone.


Now I'm left with my second, Zitouna. I hate myself for it, but I can't even look at her. I just feed her and let her live freely. I don't put her on my bed or caress her, and I think she doesn't even recognize me anymore cause she freaks out when I approach, just like when she was new in my home.

I'm scared. I'm so so scared. I'm scared of loving her and then losing her. I don't think I'm fit to be a tortoise parent anymore and I now wish my family member didn't get her for me. I wish she was living freely, somewhere far away from me. I feel so detached from her but she did nothing... I hate myself for not loving her like I should... But I can't. I don't know what to do. Recently, I kept thinking that I could just put her in our huge garden and let her live there since it's summer right now. If she's out there, she might have a better life, maybe make friend with the slightly bigger tortoise that happens to live in our garden...

I'm just venting here. I can't even cry about it, lol. Poor Zitouna zould have been better off with another person.

 

[ZEROPILOT]

Hey everyone...

I am... Was the mom of three tortoises. Lost two of them because of me living in a third world country and being unable to provide proper care... Or at least that's what I think.

They were both so small. One of them stayed with me for 3 months and the other for a bit longer.

My first tortoise, I loved her so dearly. I used to watch her eat and pat her. I could watch her all day and I'd even sleep with her by my side. I was completely in love with her, she was my baby... When she died, I cried and kept patting her head, not believing she died. I buried her on a rainy day, alone.


After that, a family member felt bad for me and bought me a new baby tortoise. I was reticent to take her, and didn't even want to name her at first. But eventually I warmed up to her and even decided a bit later to get another tortoise. I knew better than with my first, and I knew I'd be able to provide better care... I thought.

My third, a tiny, tiny tortoise which was so small she almost had no weight, wasn't healthy. She quickly died too and I buried her on a rainy day too. I didn't even cry or say anything, just took her and buried her without telling anyone.


Now I'm left with my second, Zitouna. I hate myself for it, but I can't even look at her. I just feed her and let her live freely. I don't put her on my bed or caress her, and I think she doesn't even recognize me anymore cause she freaks out when I approach, just like when she was new in my home.

I'm scared. I'm so so scared. I'm scared of loving her and then losing her. I don't think I'm fit to be a tortoise parent anymore and I now wish my family member didn't get her for me. I wish she was living freely, somewhere far away from me. I feel so detached from her but she did nothing... I hate myself for not loving her like I should... But I can't. I don't know what to do. Recently, I kept thinking that I could just put her in our huge garden and let her live there since it's summer right now. If she's out there, she might have a better life, maybe make friend with the slightly bigger tortoise that happens to live in our garden...

I'm just venting here. I can't even cry about it, lol. Poor Zitouna zould have been better off with another person.

Hello and welcome.
I can appreciate how kind and loving you seem to be.
But try to understand that tortoises are solitary creatures. And leaving them alone is probably just fine with him or her.

Offer food and water and don't feel guilty about not interacting with him too much. That doesn't make you a bad person. I personally only briefly look at mine for a few minutes a week. But they're fed and happy to be without me.

What type of tortoise is this? What are you feeding and how are you housing him?
Hopefully with some help here on the forum, we can greatly extend the life of this one.
Tortoise live long lives and something else is wrong here. Hopefully we can help you.

 

[wellington]

I agree with ZEROPILOT. They aren't like dogs who needs our attention. Tortoises are very happy being left alone, they prefer it.
If you would like, post pics of the enclosure and what lights/heat you are using, what you are feeding etc and we can help you better this little ones life so he can be with you a very long time. Also what species do you have?
Sleeping in your bed, roaming your house floors, all bad and unhealthy for tortoises.

 

[TammyJ]

Hey there! Thanks for coming here and sharing your experience and feelings with us.

As for the "Third World" thing - tell me about it!!! Jamaica is no Paradise, no matter what they tell the tourists. Find a good herp vet here and I will eat my shoe.

You are at a good place on this site! Please stick around, the very best possible help is available, and so is a big whack of understanding and friendship to help you through and advise you what to do! You are not alone.

 

[MenagerieGrl]

Hey there! Thanks for coming here and sharing your experience and feelings with us.

As for the "Third World" thing - tell me about it!!! Jamaica is no Paradise, no matter what they tell the tourists. Find a good herp vet here and I will eat my shoe.

You are at a good place on this site! Please stick around, the very best possible help is available, and so is a big whack of understanding and friendship to help you through and advise you what to do! You are not alone.

Hum, I prefer well worn shoe leather, as it has more flavor . .
(GOOD) Tort vets are hard to find even here in the States, I can only imagine what it's like in Jamaica or Algiers. That being said, it's best to search one out before you need them. .
@Mom of Zitouna I'm so sorry for your Losses . .
I have been in your shoes, I had a sick Tort, a Hermann's Named Gigantor. I went to Berkeley Vivarium to ask for Vet recommendation's. I figured they have been around for a long time and would have someone who they use, but NOT! ! ! !
All the recommendations they had were either out of the business or had very little Tort experience (IMHO). I found a new Vet, In San Francisco, Ca, that is an Exotic Vet, NO dogs, or cat's, so I'm hoping (Knock on Wood) that when I need one, they will be able to help me...
Northern California Hematological Society also Has recommendations, University of California, Davis Veterinary Medicine, the Veterinary Teaching Hospital in Cali is one of them.

 

[Mom of Zitouna]

Hello and welcome.
I can appreciate how kind and loving you seem to be.
But try to understand that tortoises are solitary creatures. And leaving them alone is probably just fine with him or her.

Offer food and water and don't feel guilty about not interacting with him too much. That doesn't make you a bad person. I personally only briefly look at mine for a few minutes a week. But they're fed and happy to be without me.

What type of tortoise is this? What are you feeding and how are you housing him?
Hopefully with some help here on the forum, we can greatly extend the life of this one.
Tortoise live long lives and something else is wrong here. Hopefully we can help you.

Hey, thank your for your reply. It means a lot to me.

That's my problem, even in terms of food I don't think it's good enough. We don't have much in our fridge only tomatoes, lettuce and green pepper. So I give her lettuce. I heard online of that powder thing you put over lettuce to help give nutrients but didn't find it at pet shops.

She lives in a balcony that's very spacious, it has sunlight part of the day and shade the rest of it.

I thought if she's out there she might find healthier things to eat, in the midst of all the greenery..

 

[Yvonne G]

Hello, "Mom":

We have quite a few members living in and keeping tortoises in third world countries. It's not easy, but it can be done. Afterall, there are tortouses that also naturally live where you live.

So first of all we need to know what species Zitouna is. Then we will be able to give you the help you need to care for Zitouna properly. So please take some pictures for us. We'd like to see the top of the tortoise with the camera looking down on the top shell, then gently turn it over and take a bottom view.

Don't beat yourself up about losing your other tortoises. It happens to the best of us. But we research, learn and move on. And we're here to help you learn!

 

[Maddoggy]

My condolences for the loss of your friends.What always seemed to hit me the hardest is how long a sick tort will linger and suffer. To me thats worse then death and that is why its so important to seek out the correct information on the proper care and diet. Im almost afraid to speculate but your torts may have been doomed by the time you obtained them My freind you are in the right place.

 

[ZEROPILOT]

It's very likely that once we can determine what species your tortoise is, you may be able to just find local plants and weeds to feed that are appropriate and nutritional at no cost.