My GF is a soldier

jeff kushner

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My sweethearts name is Kerry. She is a Elementary School Teacher. I grew up with teachers and dated many and raised my kids so I have watched the cycle of each school year......this is a very bad year!

The teachers have predictably developed a trench-warfare attitude.....bands of brothers in arms so to speak.

Kerry is a 2nd grade teacher. it's only the first of Dec and she's already shot. She came over Friday evening and arrived with the "1,000 yd stare"...............I have watched soldiers who came back from Fallujah more lucid.

Let me lay out her Battlefield w/o any politics, here's the deal & her Elementary school isn't special, neither is her class;
The "lower half" kids are coming into school much less prepared than even 2 yrs ago. These are the kids with "low ceiling parents", not bad people but no clue either. The kids are 7 & 8 for the most part and still don't know letters, sounds, vowels & reading is a dream- in 2ND GRADE!! The upper half of the class is reading only on a 1st grade or less level, except for the 2-3 kids who are high-flyers. Then add 3 heaping tablespoons of "can't focus for more than the 3 sec a Goldfish can".


The kids are so immature and unable to focus, with two of the nutcases having meltdowns & the class has to stop 25 times a day, the obvious lack of parent contact with their own kids, and the intractability of her superiors at the Board who are so deluded in themselves that "this time", they've got "education" figured out so she HAS to do X, Y & Z.

She can't do her job and it's killing her. This happens when those conscientious about their work get stuck.

Her heartrate elevated to the "fluttering" in her chest we all get sometimes...........hers was pretty steady at 80-90 beats when it's usually 60-70. She is stressed. It probably doesn't help when I tell her to quit, "we'll make it work". Later, she did forward me the link to getting a marriage license in Queen Ann county though. Maybe she wants some assurance before she quits? LOL

I gave her space...we drove to the train museum in Ellicott City Saturday but didn't even park....she just wanted to bail when the town was packed with folks....that's cool. We drove along the river then back home. She even took today off.

It takes lot to get her this far off her game......kinda like " if Kerry crumbles, we'd better all look out" kind of a thing.
 

wellington

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That's really too bad.
My cousin who was a teacher and now a principal gain like 30 pounds just this year over her daily stress. Hers comes from those above her. We all think she needs to find a new school before this one kills her, she's only in her 40's.
If Kerry is able to retire, and you love and care about her like I'm sure you do. It's in every word you say about her. Give her the security she needs to retire. Stress is a sneaky silent killer. It hits you when you fell like you have it all under control. A few years ago, in my 50's, stress gave me a heart attack. We gave such short retirement years as it is. They call it the golden years. Very few get to think they are golden. Pushing into those years further than needed isn't worth it.
Good luck to her, hope she can get much better days soon.
 

DoubleD1996!

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I'm still in my 20's and have no kids, but growing up around the generation who are now raising kids; I completely understand.

They rather let the grandparents raise their kids while they go out, fathers aren't in homes, and kids simply don't get enough attention at home. They know how to use the newest iPhone and search up a video, but can hardly use a dictionary or read.

The upcoming generation has to do better, and I refuse to fail my future kids. A teachers job is to educate not baby sit. I hope things get better.
 

Yvonne G

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Let's blame the no-parent-interaction-thing on covid. I don't know how or why, but there's got to be a reason for so many kids being affected with the same thing all at once.
 

jeff kushner

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Thanks guys.....Y hit it on the head in my opinion. I don't know the why part either but this wasn't like this, they weren't so helpless and needy before covid.

Speaking of covid, today things got interesting when I was told that I need to return to pre-covid hours.

I presently start work at 4-4:30am, leave just after noon. I never see traffic....life is good.

They want me there 7-3:30.....I told them sure, not an issue, I'll start at the 1st of the year to get myself acclimated (buy myself a quick month)

Sometimes, I feel like the monkey clapping the cymbals but it's all a game to me anyway. Not sure I'm going to be willing to do that in actuality though, I don't need to anymore.....but they don't need to know that now. Hmmm...have to think that one through with Kerry but I'm seeing opportunity for both of us here if we elect to use the Erie $$ to live on till August when I will reach full retirement & maybe convert the 401's to an annuity to live on....hmmm, lots of choices.


Life sure is cool, so many twists and turns....what a ride we go on, right?

just to clear the air, I would marry Kerry in a New York Minute......she needs to finds the dates of her divorce and the location in order to fill out the marriage app.


She's at the Dr's now..............hopefully they will tell her to take a week off!
 

zolasmum

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I used to be a teacher too,and,although I started off working in a poor and poorly educated part of London, I was impressed by the interest the parents had in their children's education - they wanted them to do well, and were so appreciative of the teachers. This was a long time ago, of course - I feel very sad that things have changed so much - it used to be a real pleasure to be with those classes, but now I think I would be totally unable to cope with the children or their loud aggressive parents !
How on earth can things improve as much as they need to ?
Angie
 

Snoopy’s mom

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I work at an elementary school and completely sympathize with you and Kerry. I have seen much of the same here in Hawaii. For the past couple of years we (The DOE) has held a Summer Hub for students who fell behind during COVID times or just need extra help in general. Unfortunately, the children who need it the most do not attend because they are away on summer vacation.
 

Cathie G

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Well... If the two of you are old enough to retire and still do the things you love just do it. Kerry could have a class size she likes and do some catching up teaching for the young people that she thinks need it. And do it on her time. Kind of like homeschooling but for pay.😊
 

Cathie G

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Well... If the two of you are old enough to retire and still do the things you love just do it. Kerry could have a class size she likes and do some catching up teaching for the young people that she thinks need it. And do it on her time. Kind of like homeschooling but for pay.😊
In other words be a tutor.
 

KarenSoCal

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This is all so sad.

My uncle was a science teacher for high schoolers in the inner city of Baltimore in the 50's, 60's and 70's. I remember that he would talk about teaching and the kids and he obviously loved them and his job.

But then things changed...the kids were surly, aggressive, and completely out of control in the classroom. One year, as summer break was coming to a close, as he thought of having to return to that chaos, he fell into a terrible depression and became almost unrecognizable...distant, not talking, he stopped eating...he did seek professional help and ended up just never going back to teaching. Fortunately he was nearing retirement age.

What has happened in schools is tragic. I can't even imagine having to be afraid of going to school because of violence. Drugs, weapons, mass shooters, and complete disregard for authority makes schools war zones.

I sure don't have the answer to how to turn this around. Faith, family, belief in God, respect, parents who are active in their kids' lives, family dinner together in the evening...these things seem to have disappeared, at least for the majority of families. They can't be signed in by Executive Power, they can't be legislated, they can't be forced into compliance.

Truly a sad and potentially devastating situation for the future.
 

jeff kushner

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I truly emphasize for those of you brave enough to have taught or worked in schools and Karen for her Dad.

I have suggested to her that she explore tutoring for one of the many firms out there. Kerry is 9 yrs younger than I so her real worry is health insurance for herself and her 24y/o daughter for two yrs. Of course she also brought up last night that she "couldn't leave in the middle of the school year and leave them in a lurch".

I didn't press too hard b/c she sure doesn't need that from me right now but at some point we will discuss;

I get the whole "friends thing" at work, but really? Sacrificing health & happiness for "workmates" ease in a horrible system not created by any of you? Sorry but I don't agree with that. They don't pay your bills nor do they hold you at night. You drink wine with them and cry about how bad your jobs suck. I have a cure:
QUIT, we will make things work out!



She did get a Dr's note to take today off......good for her!
 

Cathie G

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I truly emphasize for those of you brave enough to have taught or worked in schools and Karen for her Dad.

I have suggested to her that she explore tutoring for one of the many firms out there. Kerry is 9 yrs younger than I so her real worry is health insurance for herself and her 24y/o daughter for two yrs. Of course she also brought up last night that she "couldn't leave in the middle of the school year and leave them in a lurch".

I didn't press too hard b/c she sure doesn't need that from me right now but at some point we will discuss;

I get the whole "friends thing" at work, but really? Sacrificing health & happiness for "workmates" ease in a horrible system not created by any of you? Sorry but I don't agree with that. They don't pay your bills nor do they hold you at night. You drink wine with them and cry about how bad your jobs suck. I have a cure:
QUIT, we will make things work out!



She did get a Dr's note to take today off......good for her!
I agree try tutoring even if it's through an organization at first. Learn the ropes and then do it yourself. I'm sure tutors are really needed now.🤗
 
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