OT: so frustrated :0(

[Elohi]

Hey all, not sure where to place this, but I frequent this section so here it goes...
My oldest child has Asperger Syndrome. He is an awesome kid. He's really well behaved, a totally goofball, and extremely gifted in the area of music and auditory processing. But the poor kid can't catch a break at school. We have caught for his educational rights since kindergarten and in 4th grade things were so bad that I pulled him out of school to homeschool him. I had my youngest during that year and it made homeschooling very difficult. A newborn and a special needs kid was more than I could handle. The pressure of his education on my shoulders was intense, and he wasn't very motivated and struggled to focus for a variety of reasons. He has some pretty major ADD symptoms, focusing on an undesired task is hard for him, but it is for more lol. Anyways, so I put him back in school after we moved across town, and we retained him because none of us felt he was ready for middle school, so he got another year of elementary (5th grade). The year went pretty darn smooth as far as his education went, despite a few issues with peers.
But now he is in middle school and he is doing ok socially and with peers but he's having problems with two people from the special education department. His base teacher and one of his aids. They are saying things to him that aren't appropriate and sometimes downright verbally abusive (coma prig him to a 3 yr old and calling him a liar). They are denying these things and I'm so fed up. My son isn't a behavioral problem of any kind yet his base class is full of kids with behavioral problems. He is only in there because of his extreme issue with anxiety. Problem is, this classroom and two of the teachers for that class, are keeping him stressed. When I bring it up, they minimize it. "He's exaggerating."
I just don't know how I should handle this. I have found an advocate and am going to call a meeting but not sure what I should demand be done. Im just venting but any words of wisdom would be appreciated. Thanks for listening.

 

[mainey34]

Do they still have 504 plans that can be put in place? There has to be some way to fix this iissue.my daughter had these issues, but not to this extream. That was a few years ago. Talk to them and see if there is some sort of plan you all can agree upon.

 

[Yvonne G]

It sounds like it may be your word (the child's word) against the two adults if you were to go to the principal. You might give that a try, and if it doesn't work, I don't know what to tell you. School board?

Is there another school you can enroll him in that has a special ed department?

These are his formative years. You don't want him to be harassed by people who are supposed to be looking out for him.

Talk to his doctor too. He might have some suggestions for you. (nanny cam???)

Maybe you can sit in on a few of his classes and see if you can spot anything.

 

[wellington]

I'm so sorry for you and your child having to go through something like this. School is the last place a child should have to worry about anything other then doing their work. All I can say is don't stop until "it" stops. Good luck. Hope you get satisfaction immediately.

 

[Elohi]

Thanks everyone. A sticky situation is now even stickier...my son recorded some of the bullying by these two teachers before he ran out of memory on his phone. I have to confront this nightmare on Monday morning. I refuse to let these two teachers near my kid. I would love to have them fired but I don't know if what was recorded is quite enough.

 

[Pokeymeg]

The next time the teachers say 'he's exaggerating', ask to sit in on a class and observe. If they say no, THEN go to the principal...I immediately wanted to say 'go over their heads to the principal', but that may make them spiteful and retaliate against your son in some way....You could try putting a microphone in his pocket.....not strictly legal, but it would help you get to the bottom of this!

 

[kathyth]

I'm so sorry this is happening! We all watch the new's and know that there are times that teachers or aides have issues that are harmful to children.
Do whatever is necessary to protect your child. No one in the world cares more than you!
I would agree with wanting to sit in the class.
I would be super, pro active and believe the child.
Good luck!
Let us know!
❤️

 

[mike taylor]

I'm sorry for what is happening to your son . By two teachers I can't believe this . Why would you work with kids if you can't handle it and just poke fun or call the names . My dad has cerebral palsy and the kids I grew up with would say something mean about him . Then I would punch them in the mouth. I got into a lot of trouble over this growing up . I teach my kids not to make fun of people with disabilities. Because how would it make them fill if someone said them things to them . This kind of thing pisses me off . I would have him take a digital recorder with him . That has a long recording time. Take that as high up as I could and make sure those to dousche bags never work in a school ever again . So sorry your son has to go though this . By the way if you see them after everything is over punch them in the mouth for me I will bail you out no matter how much it cost them dousche bags deserves it . And again I am sorry this should never happen at all no matter what .

 

[oknursedana]

This breaks my heart!!!! My son has add/ADHD and in all reality is probably somewhere on the spectrum. He will be 8 next year and school has been a nightmare for him and me. I pulled him out of private pre-k because he was smarter than the teachers at 4/5. I'm not sure what all was said and done at this time but he hated going and everyday was a struggle. He finally figured out that if he bit someone they would send him home. Wouldn't punish him but gave him what he wanted all along. They didn't appreciate it when I pointed out that he had them where he wanted them. It got to the point that other kids would mess with him and he would get in trouble for standing up for himself. First grade was a whole other story. We found out 1 week before the end of the year that they wanted to keep him back. We had no clue that this was even a possibility. They don't get grades they get funky symbols. Needless to say he got labeled again as being stupid and a troublemaker. This summer we had him tested and he's dyslexic. On top of all this he has a heart condition which when I went to meet his new teacher I explained about it and she grabbed him by the hand and told him that she knows what it is like to have medical issues. She showed him her insulin pump and explained it to him. About a month ago she left me a voicemail telling me what a joy Warren is to be around and how much she loves his spirit. I was in a restaurant and just started crying like I am now. Sorry to make this about me. I guess I needed to vent too. I would ask for a meeting with the teachers and explain what is expected of their behavior using the school handbook as a guide. Point out all of the things that they are doing against policy. If kids can't bully other kids then adults definitely can't! If this doesn't work go further up the food chain. I really hope that they end up seeing that they are doing more harm than good to the young lives they are supposed to mold into good adults. Then if that doesn't work. Punch the douche bags!

 

[Kim444]

Punch the douche bags!

Oh can we just go straight to this? I would make a huge stink, threaten to go to the school board, let them know that no teacher should be treating a child like this, especially not an special ed teacher.

Here, where I am, we are not above calling the TV stations to see if they want to do an interview on our story, that usually gets the offenders moving their axx'x

 

[oknursedana]

Punch the douche bags!

Oh can we just go straight to this? I would make a huge stink, threaten to go to the school board, let them know that no teacher should be treating a child like this, especially not an special ed teacher.

Here, where I am, we are not above calling the TV stations to see if they want to do an interview on our story, that usually gets the offenders moving their axx'x

I was thinking the same thing about the TV stations. Go for it! I've seen lesser things brought to light on the local news.

 

[ascott]

http://abcnews.go.com/US/jersey-autistic-boy-records-teachers-alleged-abuse/story?id=16209626

http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2012/0...d-autistic-child-stuffed-her-in-file-cabinet/

Just because an adult is a teacher does not mean they are qualified...some are simply not qualified to be around other humans, period.

 

[T33's Torts]

Any update? I'm so sorry... This should be the least of your concerns. You're an awesome mommy

 

[Jacqui]

I too, would like to hear if anything new has happened.

 

[Elohi]

Sorry I haven't updated sooner!
Things got increasingly nasty very quickly so my son was removed from that class and stress reduction intervention was implemented. His new advisory teacher is a MUCH better fit. The special education coordinator called me and assured me things would be fixed immediately and the I was given the new teachers personal cell phone number. The new teacher has a much different approach to his kids. He wants parents to have direct contact with him so he offers his personal cell phone as a contact. I've spoken with him several times and finally met him at the ARD meeting last Thursday. The schools plan for stress reduction is working. My son is generally happier and less stressed but we were still having problems with that female aid finding him in the halls and bossing him around with made up rules so she has since been told to "back off". And I didn't have to say a word to her or the awful teacher she works with. I really wanted I rip them both new dung holes but I knew it wouldn't help my son in any way and could potentially make me look like a "crazy parent". So I kept my cool and the school is doing their job as far as making the necessary changes to comply with his IEP, which he has due to his high anxiety levels, not his actual aspergers (go figure).
My son attended the meeting and it was the best meeting I've ever attended. It was just the sped coord, his sped advisory teacher, and his social studies teacher. Well and one woman who was in and out but hardly attended. My son's musical gift came up and I played his latest song for them. They were BLOWN AWAY. His social studies teacher actually cried. She just had NO idea he was so talented. They "knew" he played piano, and they have heard me say he is talented but "every parent thinks their kid is talented" LOL. So they expected him to play the piano well enough but were completely and utterly shocked and the room became loud and boisterous and proud. After the meeting was over his advisory teacher apparently took him right straight to the band teacher and they all went into a practice room and my son played two songs for them and more people collected in awe. He was on top of the world and came home from school totally BEAMING. Everyone is so proud of him and of course I always am.
Thank you all for your listening ear and your support and suggestions. Hopefully the sped team continues to support him as they should!

 

[Jacqui]

What a great update!!!!

 

[lisa127]

Sorry I haven't updated sooner!
Things got increasingly nasty very quickly so my son was removed from that class and stress reduction intervention was implemented. His new advisory teacher is a MUCH better fit. The special education coordinator called me and assured me things would be fixed immediately and the I was given the new teachers personal cell phone number. The new teacher has a much different approach to his kids. He wants parents to have direct contact with him so he offers his personal cell phone as a contact. I've spoken with him several times and finally met him at the ARD meeting last Thursday. The schools plan for stress reduction is working. My son is generally happier and less stressed but we were still having problems with that female aid finding him in the halls and bossing him around with made up rules so she has since been told to "back off". And I didn't have to say a word to her or the awful teacher she works with. I really wanted I rip them both new dung holes but I knew it wouldn't help my son in any way and could potentially make me look like a "crazy parent". So I kept my cool and the school is doing their job as far as making the necessary changes to comply with his IEP, which he has due to his high anxiety levels, not his actual aspergers (go figure).
My son attended the meeting and it was the best meeting I've ever attended. It was just the sped coord, his sped advisory teacher, and his social studies teacher. Well and one woman who was in and out but hardly attended. My son's musical gift came up and I played his latest song for them. They were BLOWN AWAY. His social studies teacher actually cried. She just had NO idea he was so talented. They "knew" he played piano, and they have heard me say he is talented but "every parent thinks their kid is talented" LOL. So they expected him to play the piano well enough but were completely and utterly shocked and the room became loud and boisterous and proud. After the meeting was over his advisory teacher apparently took him right straight to the band teacher and they all went into a practice room and my son played two songs for them and more people collected in awe. He was on top of the world and came home from school totally BEAMING. Everyone is so proud of him and of course I always am.
Thank you all for your listening ear and your support and suggestions. Hopefully the sped team continues to support him as they should!

This is an awesome outcome!! I'm so happy for you and happy the school handled it as they should,

 

[T33's Torts]

That is really great!