- Joined
- Jun 17, 2012
- Messages
- 683
A blog ...
I have a tortoise named Tyrone Franklin Rufus the third. Don't ask what happened to the first and second ..as far as I know they only exist in my daughters mind!
Tyrone is a boy Redfoot. He is 5-7 years old. I know he is a boy..a shy one... Because last night I heard this noise, almost a squeaky sigh, I had no idea what it was. So of course I needed to investigate. I called my 21 yr old son on the phone in his room the conversation went like this
Son: Mom, I am trying to sleep
Me: I hear a strange noise
Son: does dad hear it too? Or is it a spirit talking to you again?
Me: I am serious! And your dad is sleeping, and I will ignore that last statement.
Son: did you go see what it was?
Me: No I called you to go see what it was
Son: I am not going downstairs to find out what it was! Are you crazy?
Me:No, I am just scared!
Son: for gods sake mom, you see dead people ...what the hell are you scared of?
Me:the not yet dead people!
Son:if I die, going downstairs ..I swear I will haunt you forever, and I mean it!
Me:I know you do son, now go downstairs and find out what it was!
At this point he hangs up...creeps down stairs with not one, but two knives you could gut a whole heard of elephants with before they could blink an eye....
Son: OH MY FREAKING GOD TYRONE'S DRAGGING HIS GUTS AROUND!
Me yelling:WHAT?! OMG WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY BABY!
I jump from the bed trip and fall over husbands house shoes bang head on door....run down the steps to see Son with a look of shock and disgust on his face ...
Me: is he ok ? OMG what is wrong ? Turn on the lights!
Son: it was this long thing .. Omg it was so gross ... He was like dragging it ...he was in his water dish like standing up .... It was huge ...oh man it was gross ..
Me: Did you pick him up ... Omg pick him up!
Son:I ain't picking him up! You Pick him up!
Son has now Turned on the lights .... There is Tyrone looking as us like we have lost our ever loving minds so I pick him up real careful....
Me: I don't see any guts ...
Son: his tail looks so fat!
Me:What did it look like? Why didn't you take a picture?!
Son: Take a PICTURE?!? What are you nuts?!
Me:Seriously what did it look like?
Son:it was huge and dark looking and it was funky shaped on the end and it was long OMG I think I am gonna be sick!
Me: OMG it was his PENIS! and I missed it! Why didn't you take a picture!?!
Son:MOM you ARE NUTS! You want me to take a picture of his man junk?! You're into turtle porn?!! You're sick! Ewwww get away from me!
Me: OMG! I just wanted to see it! Cut it out!
Son:is it just turtles Mom? What kind of pervert are you ?!
At this point Son is hysterically laughing at me and I am babbling like an idiot trying to explain.... I just wanted proof he is a BOY!
And what is Tyrone doing .. Trotting off to the other side of viv to his hide where he tunnels in for the rest of the night!
I wash my hands turn off the lights and go back to bed, as does Son, who I can still here laughing thru the wall.
This is 100% true ... The things I have to put up with!
I have a tortoise named Tyrone Franklin Rufus the third. Don't ask what happened to the first and second ..as far as I know they only exist in my daughters mind!
Tyrone is a boy Redfoot. He is 5-7 years old. I know he is a boy..a shy one... Because last night I heard this noise, almost a squeaky sigh, I had no idea what it was. So of course I needed to investigate. I called my 21 yr old son on the phone in his room the conversation went like this
Son: Mom, I am trying to sleep
Me: I hear a strange noise
Son: does dad hear it too? Or is it a spirit talking to you again?
Me: I am serious! And your dad is sleeping, and I will ignore that last statement.
Son: did you go see what it was?
Me: No I called you to go see what it was
Son: I am not going downstairs to find out what it was! Are you crazy?
Me:No, I am just scared!
Son: for gods sake mom, you see dead people ...what the hell are you scared of?
Me:the not yet dead people!
Son:if I die, going downstairs ..I swear I will haunt you forever, and I mean it!
Me:I know you do son, now go downstairs and find out what it was!
At this point he hangs up...creeps down stairs with not one, but two knives you could gut a whole heard of elephants with before they could blink an eye....
Son: OH MY FREAKING GOD TYRONE'S DRAGGING HIS GUTS AROUND!
Me yelling:WHAT?! OMG WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY BABY!
I jump from the bed trip and fall over husbands house shoes bang head on door....run down the steps to see Son with a look of shock and disgust on his face ...
Me: is he ok ? OMG what is wrong ? Turn on the lights!
Son: it was this long thing .. Omg it was so gross ... He was like dragging it ...he was in his water dish like standing up .... It was huge ...oh man it was gross ..
Me: Did you pick him up ... Omg pick him up!
Son:I ain't picking him up! You Pick him up!
Son has now Turned on the lights .... There is Tyrone looking as us like we have lost our ever loving minds so I pick him up real careful....
Me: I don't see any guts ...
Son: his tail looks so fat!
Me:What did it look like? Why didn't you take a picture?!
Son: Take a PICTURE?!? What are you nuts?!
Me:Seriously what did it look like?
Son:it was huge and dark looking and it was funky shaped on the end and it was long OMG I think I am gonna be sick!
Me: OMG it was his PENIS! and I missed it! Why didn't you take a picture!?!
Son:MOM you ARE NUTS! You want me to take a picture of his man junk?! You're into turtle porn?!! You're sick! Ewwww get away from me!
Me: OMG! I just wanted to see it! Cut it out!
Son:is it just turtles Mom? What kind of pervert are you ?!
At this point Son is hysterically laughing at me and I am babbling like an idiot trying to explain.... I just wanted proof he is a BOY!
And what is Tyrone doing .. Trotting off to the other side of viv to his hide where he tunnels in for the rest of the night!
I wash my hands turn off the lights and go back to bed, as does Son, who I can still here laughing thru the wall.
This is 100% true ... The things I have to put up with!