Hey all. I'm new to this forum, and sadly I have to start with some bad and sad news. I had a Hermann's Tortoise, said to be a male, for quite a long period of time - almost 10 years. My parents bought him from a pet store, and they told us to keep him on sawdust, and feed green salad leaf as a basic food, and give cucumber and some other stuff. They said to offer him water when the weather gets really hot and so we took him home. We named him Miette, and for the many years that passed by, he was with us. Went on vacations with us, where he enjoyed being out in fresh grass and water, and was happy and active. In a few simple worlds, he grew up with us, and my sister and I grew up with him. A week ago my father calls me telling me he has some sad news, and that Miette has passed away. We took him to the vet immediately, but in the morning vet told us he did die indeed, and so we buried him. He said something about bacterial infection, and said it could be his lungs or kidneys, but more likely kidneys. I thought my life would never be normal again, and went through a great grieving period. I felt guilt, shock, depression, felt hopeless, blamed myself, blamed Miette, blamed family members. I had sleepless nights, and cried, was full of anger towards myself, world, everyone. It was like a brother died to me. I browsed internet loads, and I think I was not the best owner. He did not have fresh water available all the time, only sometimes, nor I bathed him. Maybe I did not even let him out to walk enough, or one day when he was drinking water like a maniac, I did not think he could be sick. I did not hug him and tell him how much I love him, I did not get a chance to say goodbye. It is just to many what if and only if. But everything was working perfectly for many years, how could I even think that I did something wrong? I followed the given instructions and I swear to God and everything I love that all the bad things I did, I did it out of pure ignorance. It was so unexpected, something I could not think of in my worst nightmares... I never saw him dead, but my sister who found him says his eyes have sunken badly, no reactions, and that his shell has started to turn blue, plastron was dark blue/purple, and edges of his carapace have started to turn blue. I never read anything about shell changing color after tortoise dies, so can anyone tell me anything more about it? His shell was also well-formed and shiney, and never had any problems. He will be greatly missed and never forgotten. I had to share this with you guys, and the pain is to big, and ignorance and questions in my head are killing me. I now read much more about their needs and habitats, and plan to get 2 new Hermann's. I will name them Mia and Ette, after my beautiful boy Miette. And I will be overly-cautios. But there again, I feel guilty because I will offer them a better life than what Miette had. If only I knew... (((