Why won’t my sulcata hibernate?

[TechnoCheese]

Hello! I recently found a sulcata tortoise in the woods today, and I don’t want to take care of it right now. It’s floor is made of rabbit pellets and calcium sand so that it is as dry as possible. I don’t want it to get shell rot!

We feed it strawberries, broccoli, banana, grass from my very clean, chemically treated yard, and mushrooms from outside. He has a very good diet, because he eats a lot of it, and poops liquid!

I don’t see why they need heat lights, because they don’t have them in the wild!!!1! I think all of you meany “experts” need to think about that, because my tortoise is doing just fine! His shell is really soft, and he sleeps a lot because he’s comfy, and that proves it!1!!!

So anyway, why isn’t it hibernating??? I stuck it in the fridge and it won’t sleep!












(...I got bored)

 

[Bambam1989]

Hello! I recently found a sulcata tortoise in the woods today, and I don’t want to take care of it right now. It’s floor is made of rabbit pellets and calcium sand so that it is as dry as possible. I don’t want it to get shell rot!

We feed it strawberries, broccoli, banana, grass from my very clean, chemically treated yard, and mushrooms from outside. He has a very good diet, because he eats a lot of it, and poops liquid!

I don’t see why they need heat lights, because they don’t have them in the wild!!!1! I think all of you meany “experts” need to think about that, because my tortoise is doing just fine! His shell is really soft, and he sleeps a lot because he’s comfy, and that proves it!1!!!

So anyway, why isn’t it hibernating??? I stuck it in the fridge and it won’t sleep!












(...I got bored)

A FARCE!
[emoji33]

 

[Bee62]

Hello! I recently found a sulcata tortoise in the woods today, and I don’t want to take care of it right now. It’s floor is made of rabbit pellets and calcium sand so that it is as dry as possible. I don’t want it to get shell rot!

We feed it strawberries, broccoli, banana, grass from my very clean, chemically treated yard, and mushrooms from outside. He has a very good diet, because he eats a lot of it, and poops liquid!

I don’t see why they need heat lights, because they don’t have them in the wild!!!1! I think all of you meany “experts” need to think about that, because my tortoise is doing just fine! His shell is really soft, and he sleeps a lot because he’s comfy, and that proves it!1!!!

So anyway, why isn’t it hibernating??? I stuck it in the fridge and it won’t sleep!












(...I got bored)

Hmmmm, when you are bored you should do riddles, not threads ... I think.
New members, beginners in tort keeping could take your words wrong ... No good idea. Sorry to say.

 

[wellington]

I agree with Bee62. Not the kind of thread newbies need. Not everyone is going to get that it's a joke. Besides it could get you a lot of harsh comments, like I was going to do when I first started reading your thread. Luckily I read the whole thread before commenting. Some won't.

 

[Tom]

Hello! I recently found a sulcata tortoise in the woods today, and I don’t want to take care of it right now. It’s floor is made of rabbit pellets and calcium sand so that it is as dry as possible. I don’t want it to get shell rot!

We feed it strawberries, broccoli, banana, grass from my very clean, chemically treated yard, and mushrooms from outside. He has a very good diet, because he eats a lot of it, and poops liquid!

I don’t see why they need heat lights, because they don’t have them in the wild!!!1! I think all of you meany “experts” need to think about that, because my tortoise is doing just fine! His shell is really soft, and he sleeps a lot because he’s comfy, and that proves it!1!!!

So anyway, why isn’t it hibernating??? I stuck it in the fridge and it won’t sleep!

You forgot to mention your bank of cfl bulbs for UV, that it lives on the floor in your house, and that it has a "friend" that it lives with and follows around all day and cuddles with at night. You also neglected to mention that you never soak it, because after all, who force soaks them in the wild??? And your vet gives them monthly "vitamin injections" along with Baytril injections as a preventative to keep them healthy. And your yard is surrounded by oleanders and azaleas, but you know its safe because tortoises have live for millions of years without us telling them what to eat, right???

 

[TechnoCheese]

You forgot to mention your bank of cfl bulbs for UV, that it lives on the floor in your house, and that it has a "friend" that it lives with and follows around all day and cuddles with at night. You also neglected to mention that you never soak it, because after all, who force soaks them in the wild??? And your vet gives them monthly "vitamin injections" along with Baytril injections as a preventative to keep them healthy. And your yard is surrounded by oleanders and azaleas, but you know its safe because tortoises have live for millions of years without us telling them what to eat, right???

Ah darn, I forgot some stuff!

 

[Tom]

Ah darn, I forgot some stuff!

Its understandable. You are just so busy taking such good care of the tortoise(s) in this thread. That level of care takes up a LOT of time...

 

[TechnoCheese]

Its understandable. You are just so busy taking such good care of the tortoise(s) in this thread. That level of care takes up a LOT of time...

Oh man, thank you for your amazing insight!

 

[Taylor T.]

And that you have a dog who is its "best friend" and would NEVER hurt it.

 

[TechnoCheese]

And that you have a dog who is its "best friend" and would NEVER hurt it.

Yeah! They like to play tag, and Fido loves to lick him!

 

[Yvonne G]

Hello! I recently found a sulcata tortoise in the woods today, and I don’t want to take care of it right now. It’s floor is made of rabbit pellets and calcium sand so that it is as dry as possible. I don’t want it to get shell rot!

We feed it strawberries, broccoli, banana, grass from my very clean, chemically treated yard, and mushrooms from outside. He has a very good diet, because he eats a lot of it, and poops liquid!

I don’t see why they need heat lights, because they don’t have them in the wild!!!1! I think all of you meany “experts” need to think about that, because my tortoise is doing just fine! His shell is really soft, and he sleeps a lot because he’s comfy, and that proves it!1!!!

So anyway, why isn’t it hibernating??? I stuck it in the fridge and it won’t sleep!












(...I got bored)

You got bored? I can tell!!! It's not even April 1st.

 

[Tom]

And that you have a dog who is its "best friend" and would NEVER hurt it.

Man! How I could forget about TechnoCheese's loving family dog that would never hurt the tortoise under any circumstance!!!


Thanks for the reminder.

 

[Jay Bagley]

Yeah! They like to play tag, and Fido loves to lick him!

Hey don't forget night time low should always be below 80, and if they're fenced outside make sure to leave the gate open to test their loyalty.[emoji6]

 

[TechnoCheese]

Hey don't forget night time low should always be below 80, and if they're fenced outside make sure to leave the gate open to test their loyalty.[emoji6]

Oh yes, definitely! My tort would never leave me!

 

[TechnoCheese]

Ok, this is serious. Please help.

New tort and don’t know what to do?! Help!

https://tortoiseforum.org/index.php...ort-and-don’t-know-what-to-do?!-Help!.163044/

I don’t have a Russian, and I don’t know much about lights, so I’m not sure how much I can help them. But this person is kind of reminding me of this thread. I would be grateful if someone could help them.
They don’t know their temps, because the person at the pet store told them they don’t need a thermometer.

 

[TechnoCheese]

Thanks, Tom!

 

[hollygaucas]

Ok, this is serious. Please help.

New tort and don’t know what to do?! Help!

https://tortoiseforum.org/index.php...ort-and-don’t-know-what-to-do?!-Help!.163044/

I don’t have a Russian, and I don’t know much about lights, so I’m not sure how much I can help them. But this person is kind of reminding me of this thread. I would be grateful if someone could help them.
They don’t know their temps, because the person at the pet store told them they don’t need a thermometer.

Is this me?

 

[Bambam1989]

Pet stores fail so many times to properly inform new owners. Many animals die because they are only interested in sales!

 

[TechnoCheese]

Is this me?

Yes. Sorry, I had to make sure you got the best help you possibly could.

 

[Tom]

...and if they're fenced outside make sure to leave the gate open to test their loyalty.[emoji6]

Pssshhhhhhh… Yeah. Who'd want to keep a disloyal tortoise around anyway?