You have One tortoise don't use THEY

[wellington]

You will get questioned on how many you have and a lecture on keeping pairs.
He or She lets us know you have one and saves the extra time to ask how many and the lecture of keeping pairs. The tortoise really doesn't care if you get it's sex wrong with a he or she

 

[SinLA]

As "they" becomes more common usage especially among younger generations, it is just instinctual to use "they" for "unknown gender". I agree in this very specific context where tortoise pairs are detrimental to the health of a tortoise it would be better that people clarify why they are using the term, but that said, as most people who come on here the first time won't know the reason why "they" is particularly frustrating to long-timers on the group, it is probably a more fruitful change to just presume "they" could mean either pairs or gender-neutral and ask.

I think you'll end up driving yourself crazy faster by wanting the world to change on this board rather than accepting it as the new normal. Using "they" is completely normal parlance now in some places (a lot of LA as an example) and in younger age ranges more broadly around the country (world?)

 

[Maggie3fan]

As "they" becomes more common usage especially among younger generations, it is just instinctual to use "they" for "unknown gender". I agree in this very specific context where tortoise pairs are detrimental to the health of a tortoise it would be better that people clarify why they are using the term, but that said, as most people who come on here the first time won't know the reason why "they" is particularly frustrating to long-timers on the group, it is probably a more fruitful change to just presume "they" could mean either pairs or gender-neutral and ask.

I think you'll end up driving yourself crazy faster by wanting the world to change on this board rather than accepting it as the new normal. Using "they" is completely normal parlance now in some places (a lot of LA as an example) and in younger age ranges more broadly around the country (world?)

That's the truth in Oregon...I don't care if I never see rainbow colors again

 

[wellington]

As "they" becomes more common usage especially among younger generations, it is just instinctual to use "they" for "unknown gender". I agree in this very specific context where tortoise pairs are detrimental to the health of a tortoise it would be better that people clarify why they are using the term, but that said, as most people who come on here the first time won't know the reason why "they" is particularly frustrating to long-timers on the group, it is probably a more fruitful change to just presume "they" could mean either pairs or gender-neutral and ask.

I think you'll end up driving yourself crazy faster by wanting the world to change on this board rather than accepting it as the new normal. Using "they" is completely normal parlance now in some places (a lot of LA as an example) and in younger age ranges more broadly around the country (world?)

Personally it's stupid to use they when talking about one. I also think it's offense to call a human they if their name can't be used or is unknown. It's either a he or a she. Even when they were born a he but now identified as a she, then she should be referred to as a she, not they. Tortoises don't care how you refer to them.
There is no way I am conforming to the younger generation, they have to many problems already.
I'm 62 and not changing! I'll just pass those ones up.

 

[Ink]

I find it too confusing. Just type the tortoise name and use that.

 

[wellington]

I find it too confusing. Just type the tortoise name and use that.

I agree. The name would work much better too.

 

[TammyJ]

Whatever happened to "IT"?

 

[TammyJ]

Whatever happened to "IT"?

Don't start with the Stephen King, Tammy.

 

[Ink]

Whatever happened to "IT"?

Thank you Tammy J's

 

[wellington]

Whatever happened to "IT"?

Yep, better than they.

 

[SinLA]

You can get mad all you want, but you’re not gonna change the world. And if the goal here is to try and help people and their tortoises then putting your own linguistic preferences (or demands) above what is now becoming normalized inclusive speech of those coming here isn’t going to help them. This site already has a reputation of being filled with a-holes who yell at you the moment you arrive. Add on to that a perception of lack of inclusiveness in the name of “im old and in my day this word meant X and by gum that’s what it will be here” will further reduce people using this site as a resource. True we can say “well they are stupid if they go somewhere else just because I don’t conform to their new fangled word usage” but in the end … is the goal to help spread the word of tortoise care, or cling to feeling good about the words we use and not accept change.

You can take great solace in pushing people away from this site because they don’t use language that you prefer, and then they will get their information from Facebook and YouTube.

I’d rather we help people get good info regardless of the terminology they use.

So I’d rather clarify the usage of “they” in a sentence and help them, rather than demand people who may never have been to this site before know that the English language we accept are the words in use circa 1960-1990 and make them change if not

 

[wellington]

You can get mad all you want, but you’re not gonna change the world. And if the goal here is to try and help people and their tortoises then putting your own linguistic preferences (or demands) above what is now becoming normalized inclusive speech of those coming here isn’t going to help them. This site already has a reputation of being filled with a-holes who yell at you the moment you arrive. Add on to that a perception of lack of inclusiveness in the name of “im old and in my day this word meant X and by gum that’s what it will be here” will further reduce people using this site as a resource. True we can say “well they are stupid if they go somewhere else just because I don’t conform to their new fangled word usage” but in the end … is the goal to help spread the word of tortoise care, or cling to feeling good about the words we use and not accept change.

You can take great solace in pushing people away from this site because they don’t use language that you prefer, and then they will get their information from Facebook and YouTube.

I’d rather we help people get good info regardless of the terminology they use.

So I’d rather clarify the usage of “they” in a sentence and help them, rather than demand people who may never have been to this site before know that the English language we accept are the words in use circa 1960-1990 and make them change if not

I didn't demand anything, geez. Never even said I was mad until your post! If people want to keep wasting time by using they and getting the same questions asked of how many and the pair lecture, so be it! I'm not going to bother, it's ridiculous to say they when you are talking about one tortoise.
Good, then you take them and waste your time just to find out they are talking about one!
I'm not kissing no ones butt and if you didn't try to lecture me in conforming, you could have taken it as it was written!
Many more years here then you. Stick around as long and you'll get it!

 

[SinLA]

again, you suggesting that it is” kissing someone’s butt” to clarify if when they use the word “they” they are talking about multiple tortoises or a single tortoise where they don’t know if it’s male or female. That is hostile.

I am in favor of people being inclusive for the sake of spreading good tort care info, and if we don’t understand a word, asking for clarity. Your initial post is basically a *demand* that people use “they” the way you want and only that way, because it’s how you were raised.

I am not angry at all. I’m hoping that someone who comes to the site and does a search and comes across this thread realizes that not everyone on this site doesn’t accept the natural evolution of language and doesn’t read the insults in the thread above as true uniform opinion here.

Not to mention we have lots of non-native English speakers here where “they” is actually the translation for gender in their own language.

All I’m saying is it takes no effort to be tolerant and ask for clarity as to whether somebody is talking about multiples or not. expecting people to come to this site knowing a “rule” that they should not use they for anything other than multiples is impossible to succeed in, so all you are going to do is make yourself mad and drive away people looking for help, to no purpose other than feeling good about drawing a line in the sand about “what you think is correct word usage”.

 

[jaizei]

 

[Tom]

You can get mad all you want, but you’re not gonna change the world. And if the goal here is to try and help people and their tortoises then putting your own linguistic preferences (or demands) above what is now becoming normalized inclusive speech of those coming here isn’t going to help them. This site already has a reputation of being filled with a-holes who yell at you the moment you arrive. Add on to that a perception of lack of inclusiveness in the name of “im old and in my day this word meant X and by gum that’s what it will be here” will further reduce people using this site as a resource. True we can say “well they are stupid if they go somewhere else just because I don’t conform to their new fangled word usage” but in the end … is the goal to help spread the word of tortoise care, or cling to feeling good about the words we use and not accept change.

You can take great solace in pushing people away from this site because they don’t use language that you prefer, and then they will get their information from Facebook and YouTube.

I’d rather we help people get good info regardless of the terminology they use.

So I’d rather clarify the usage of “they” in a sentence and help them, rather than demand people who may never have been to this site before know that the English language we accept are the words in use circa 1960-1990 and make them change if not

I agree with you that we should be nice to new people, but accepting the latest fad coming form a vocal but very small segment of society is not something that we should do, and its not something that we have to do. Arbitrarily changing the meaning of words that have been in common use for centuries is not something to be taken lightly. Pandering to people with certain political agendas is not an act of kindness, and I won't be bullied into accepting false made-up realities.

I do not know what people you are associating with daily, but I can assure the "the world" still thinks that "they" means plural, because it does:

They Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster​

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/they
they
ˈt͟hā
PRONOUN
those ones : those people, animals, or things
They dance well.

The people I associate with daily are as annoyed, and as vocal about it, as Barb is. A small group of people can try to re-invent meanings of long standing common use words, but the rest of us are NOT obligated to play along. I'm also not going to call a cat a dog or call a fish a bird, or any other similar non-sense. I don't care if the cat is unable to deal with reality and has mental problems. I hope the cat gets the help that is needs, and that it can someday come to terms that it is not a dog. Me calling that cat a dog is not going to help it.

 

[jaizei]

when the singular they hits 1000 years, will it stop being a "fad"?


Much has been written on they, and we aren’t going to attempt to cover it here. We will note that they has been in consistent use as a singular pronoun since the late 1300s; that the development of singular they mirrors the development of the singular you from the plural you, yet we don’t complain that singular you is ungrammatical; and that regardless of what detractors say, nearly everyone uses the singular they in casual conversation and often in formal writing

Singular 'They'

Though singular 'they' is old, 'they' as a nonbinary pronoun is new—and useful

www.merriam-webster.com

 

[SinLA]

First of all, Shakespeare used they in a non-plural sense so it is hardly new. second I will point out that in the entirety of my threads above I use the word they when referring to people and no one had trouble understanding the meaning of sentences.

It is a “trend” in your mind because it is new. The only way we know it is a trend is if 50 years from now it is something that was only used for a short time or if it became common parlance. So neither of us know if it is a trend, but either way people are going to use it here. Demanding they do otherwise limits the usefulness of this site.

In the meantime, I have a friend whose name was Barbara. yes Barbara. eventually she decided Barbara sounded “old” and she wanted everyone to call her “Barb.” so guess what I did, I called her “Barb” And then she decided “Barbie” ((which I loathe!) but I’ve started calling her Barbie because it is no effort to me and is what she wants, and if she wanted to suddenly be called Barry, it is also the same amount of work to me to call her Barry as it is Barb or Barbie, when she used to be Barbara.

All I am saying is people are going to use THEY when they come to this site. We can be hostile to it and drive people away or we can just say “hey do you have more than one?”. It’s a no brainer to me to just be kind.

 

[wellington]

First of all, Shakespeare used they in a non-plural sense so it is hardly new. second I will point out that in the entirety of my threads above I use the word they when referring to people and no one had trouble understanding the meaning of sentences.

It is a “trend” in your mind because it is new. The only way we know it is a trend is if 50 years from now it is something that was only used for a short time or if it became common parlance. So neither of us know if it is a trend, but either way people are going to use it here. Demanding they do otherwise limits the usefulness of this site.

In the meantime, I have a friend whose name was Barbara. yes Barbara. eventually she decided Barbara sounded “old” and she wanted everyone to call her “Barb.” so guess what I did, I called her “Barb” And then she decided “Barbie” ((which I loathe!) but I’ve started calling her Barbie because it is no effort to me and is what she wants, and if she wanted to suddenly be called Barry, it is also the same amount of work to me to call her Barry as it is Barb or Barbie, when she used to be Barbara.

All I am saying is people are going to use THEY when they come to this site. We can be hostile to it and drive people away or we can just say “hey do you have more than one?”. It’s a no brainer to me to just be kind.

Get off it! I never demand a thing!

 

[Yvonne G]

I don't like it either, Barb, but when the OP states they have "a Russian" or some other type of tortoise then later in the thread they start using the "they/them" pronoun, it's easy for me to transition to one tortoise. My sister has a grand daughter who is one of those "they/them" people, so I've started getting used to it. But, no, I don't like it.

 

[SinLA]

The thread you created is a demand: “You have One tortoise don’t use they”. It’s literally the title of your thread