Asking new posters their real names.

[Utah Lynn]

Personally, I include my picture as my avatar, because I got tired of getting "hit on" by men because they associate my name with being a female. Now, if the women want to hit on me, that's a whole different story.
My name is Lynn.
I am a Tortaholic.

Thank you for the welcome.

 

[Sammy]

Mr. Lynn is funny! I wanna put my photo in too.

 

[dmarcus]

Personally, I include my picture as my avatar, because I got tired of getting "hit on" by men because they associate my name with being a female. Now, if the women want to hit on me, that's a whole different story.
My name is Lynn.
I am a Tortaholic.

Thank you for the welcome.

 

[Pond_Lilly]

When I first joined the forum I was also asked for my name ( I put location in profile) and it made me very uncomfortable even though I've answered. I felt that I absolutely had to answer in order to get a reply to my question but also that the forum is being monitored for some reason to perhaps ban some people from posting, or something like that.

I would say that in my opinion, it is absolutely not necessary to know person's real name or location. If you want to say it, then fine, but the specific question right from the very beginning made me uneasy and even a bit not welcomed in here and maybe others felt the same way too.

EDIT: And by the way, nobody referred to me by my real name anyways, so what was the point of asking, really?

 

[Jacqui]

Personally, I include my picture as my avatar, because I got tired of getting "hit on" by men because they associate my name with being a female.

Were you hit on in here?

 

[cherylim]

When I first joined the forum I was also asked for my name ( I put location in profile) and it made me very uncomfortable even though I've answered. I felt that I absolutely had to answer in order to get a reply to my question but also that the forum is being monitored for some reason to perhaps ban some people from posting, or something like that.

I would say that in my opinion, it is absolutely not necessary to know person's real name or location. If you want to say it, then fine, but the specific question right from the very beginning made me uneasy and even a bit not welcomed in here and maybe others felt the same way too.

EDIT: And by the way, nobody referred to me by my real name anyways, so what was the point of asking, really?

It's a shame you felt like that. I like to know what users' names are even if I end up forgetting. A few eventually stick, but they're usually the ones I end up talking to a lot.

I would say from my point of view there are a lot of times when people post a 'Welcome', perhaps with a request for a name, on a thread where somebody has asked a specific question. They don't have the answer to hand, but they're just being friendly. I suppose if I asked a question and the first ten replies were just people saying 'Welcome' and asking my name, I might wonder if I had to give that information up before I got my response, but usually it's just that people want to get to know you and don't have an answer.

That is something I've thought about lately, so if I don't have an answer to a question someone new has asked, I'll avoid welcoming them until someone has answered, or they've made a separate introduction thread.

 

[Jacqui]

That is something I've thought about lately, so if I don't have an answer to a question someone new has asked, I'll avoid welcoming them until someone has answered, or they've made a separate introduction thread.

It's interesting, I have been talking to a few folks and we all are now kinda avoiding the welcoming thread for fear of in any way saying something not considered appropriate. Then to see, your another one, feeling much the same way. It just seems to me, this is just pushing folks away from welcoming new folks and that is one of the best things about this forum... we welcome folks in a friendly manner the same as if you were walking into our homes, which in a way you are. So sad....

 

[StudentoftheReptile]

I suppose it's part of the curse of communicating on the internet, where you cannot easily determine someone's inflection or tone...something easily done in person, or even on the phone.

Maybe the admins can add some kind of message when new members sign up, something to the effect of: "On this forum, many members will welcome you and probably ask for your name and your location. This is merely an attempt to be friendly, to get to know you better. It also aids us to better answer any questions you may have about caring for your tortoises, as your location and climate are often important factors in housing tortoises outdoors. Divulging this information is absolutely optional, and we understand perfectly if you choose to keep your name and location private."

 

[dmarcus]

Cheryl makes a good point, I to will say welcome to someone even if I don't know the answer just to be friendly and welcome them to the forum. Maybe thats a mistake on my part and I should either not post until the question has been answered or just not at all.

I think this is a no win situation because most of us are trying to be friendly and welcome people to this wonderl forum even if we don't have the answer to the question that was asked especially since not everyone post's a intro, some just ask a question. I don't want to make anyone feel unwelcomed because I didn't answer there question but instead only said hello or welcome...

 

[Madkins007]

Personally, I include my picture as my avatar, because I got tired of getting "hit on" by men because they associate my name with being a female.

Were you hit on in here?

(Covering my face in shame) I am SOOOOOO embarrassed! It was an honest misunderstanding!

 

[cherylim]

That is something I've thought about lately, so if I don't have an answer to a question someone new has asked, I'll avoid welcoming them until someone has answered, or they've made a separate introduction thread.

It's interesting, I have been talking to a few folks and we all are now kinda avoiding the welcoming thread for fear of in any way saying something not considered appropriate. Then to see, your another one, feeling much the same way. It just seems to me, this is just pushing folks away from welcoming new folks and that is one of the best things about this forum... we welcome folks in a friendly manner the same as if you were walking into our homes, which in a way you are. So sad....

I do agree. I like to welcome people on this forum, and once they've been around a while and settled in I like to hear about their lives, their days, their families. I suppose it's all down to whether you see the forum as a simple source of information, or a place to meet and bond with likeminded people.

It's why I love the pretend chat thread. I really enjoy hearing what people have been up to, new things they've discovered, something as 'mundane' as what they've eaten or how tired they're feeling. I consider people on this forum to be friends, and I love saying 'hello' to new potential friends wherever I can, but I do understand that maybe some people just want to come in, get their answers and get on with things.

 

[Utah Lynn]

Personally, I include my picture as my avatar, because I got tired of getting "hit on" by men because they associate my name with being a female.

Were you hit on in here?

(Covering my face in shame) I am SOOOOOO embarrassed! It was an honest misunderstanding!

@Jacqui...not yet
@Madkins...must have missed it. 's ok.

 

[StudentoftheReptile]

Personally, I don't welcome anyone...not because I don't want be unfriendly, but because quite simply, there are so many people joining the forum all the time, and I will always invariably leave someone out or miss someone. And I do this on sites I moderate as well. I just can't keep track of every new member, so to be fair...I just stay away from the welcome/intro section.

Remember the main reason most people join this site: to get helpful advice and information on how to care for their tortoises. I mean, that's why I joined. I didn't join to make friends and chitchat and have buddies. Now there's nothing wrong with that, and I have met some nice, friendly people here and I always recommend others to check out this site. But whether or not someone "welcomed" me to the forum, or uses my real name isn't going to make or break my decision to remain here.

I say, if you want to welcome someone and ask for their first name, keep in the Welcome/Introductions section. I think if this is an important issue for the friendlier faction of the forum, we should have some sort of disclaimer somewhere, either as a sticky in the Intro section or better yet, as some message whenever a new member registers, so that they're a little more "prepared" for the overabundance of friendliness that is often lacking on herp messageboards.

Like I said before, I do concur that it is important a lot of times to know where someone lives to help them with outdoor housing issues, and you can always ask the location on those respective threads.

 

[bubbles01]

Cheryl - I too love the pretend chat thread, and I think you have hit the nail on the head here. Those of us that chat, talk about the weather, our home lives, Christmas, our kids etc use this forum as a community and we use our real names frequently.

If other members only wish to use TFO as an info source then they would probably find our familiarity a little strange.

The whole 'name and location' issue really is about the fact that we all welcome people to the site regardless of their age, location, name or gender and I believe that it originated as a means of including new members into our forum on a personal level. I am saddened to see that many people have stopped using the introductions thread to say welcome in case they dont answer an initial question - personally I LOVED being welcomed by so many people - made me realise what a friendly and open place this was...

I actually remember seeing a thread where Yvonne did her usual polite question - and got the reply - "I dont share my name or location on the internet" (I'm paraphrasing but it was words to that effect.) The member still got their question answered... No harm done, no hard feelings.....

Studentofthereptile - I agree with your idea - when new members join they could be asked to put a 1st post in the introductions thread and to include their general location and name they wish to be referred to as. On a separate subject it could also be made clearer that their first post is moderated and may not appear immediately!! I have joined other forums where your first post HAS to be in the intro's thread or you cant post in the rest of the site.

do I need to add another IMHO??? am doing it anyhow!!!

Helen x

 

[Yvonne G]

Ok...I get it!!! I'm sorry if I offended anyone. I was just trying to be friendly.

Does this offend:


Welcome to the Tortoise Forum!!

What would you like for us to call you?

Also, when we know approximately where you are, it helps us design our answers to better fit your problem.

 

[Sammy]

No u didn't, ur welcome note was lovely.

 

[CtTortoiseMom]

That is something I've thought about lately, so if I don't have an answer to a question someone new has asked, I'll avoid welcoming them until someone has answered, or they've made a separate introduction thread.

It's interesting, I have been talking to a few folks and we all are now kinda avoiding the welcoming thread for fear of in any way saying something not considered appropriate. Then to see, your another one, feeling much the same way. It just seems to me, this is just pushing folks away from welcoming new folks and that is one of the best things about this forum... we welcome folks in a friendly manner the same as if you were walking into our homes, which in a way you are. So sad....

That is so sad Jacqui . I felt so welcomed when I joined here. I couldn't believe that anyone would want to know a novice like me or even see pictures of MY tortoise!! Everyone was and is so nice, I never felt threatened or like someone was invading my privacy.

 

[Sammy]

This new one is like a 'help hotline'
IMHO only

 

[StudentoftheReptile]

Sounds fine to me (I never personally mentioned you by name, BTW!) : )
----------------

On a related note just show how far this could go, I was a member of one of the most popular herp classifieds websites out there. They recently instilled a rule where members were required to list their city and state in their member profile, which was displayed under their username. This, among other reasons, was why I left that forum (the head admin is, to put it mildly, a poophead).

 

[Sammy]

That's not my name