*hands Maggie the super sized box of kleenex* I am so very sorry about this huge loss in your life. Some tortoises are simply tortoises, Bob was so much more. I think, through your wonderful stories, we all came to love him. I know he has left a hole inside as big as he was. *hugs*
Oopps *blushes* I am sorry I saw Bubba and thought Bob. It has stayed in the back of my mind about his problem with the heat the other day. Bubba I had placed in my feeble mind as doing so much better and out of the woods I thought (well as much as he could be with his health issues).
Maggie everybody knows how hard you had been working with Bubba even with your own medical problems. You may have given him the drug, but it was not done out of bad intentions. You loved him and he knew it.
Once more I am very sorry my senility acted up and I got Bob and "Bubba mixed up.
Maggie
I am so sorry You did the right thing, he is not suffering where he is right now, I am sure he is in the cats paradise. He was a very lucky cat and I am sure he lived 15 wonderful years at your side.
Oh Maggie, I'm so, so sorry. Stop blaiming yourself. You loved him so much and always did the best you could for him. They never really leave us...they are always with us. Someone sent me this when my son died....."You'll never get over it. It's never going to be OK, and once you except that, you realize you never want to get over it. Just kind of let it sit with you and let it be a part of who you are now."
He was having a kind of a hard time breathing this morning, so I took
him to the Vet. She thought he had a bit of pneumonia so she wanted him
to be on a nebulizer vapor. She had me close off a cat carrier and push
a vapor into it. The first one went fine but I called her and told her
he was panting and she said he was probably stressed from being in the
small carrier. The second time 3 hours later he was breathing harder
and she was already gone home, Sue at the Vet told me to bring him in
and Dr Ansbury would see him and give him some oxygen. So I got there
and sat alone in the waiting room for a few minutes, so I went in the
back and got the girl and by that time he was gagging on drool and he
went unconscious and they intubated him and gave him chest compressions
but he was gone. I killed him by giving him that drug. He was dead less
then 30 minutes after I gave him the vapor. I did it to him. I killed
a being that I loved more then there are words to print.
This morning when she saw him she said he had a long time to live he
wasn't going just yet. He had a reaction to Albuterol.
I won't be on the computer, I need to try and realize what this means.
Because now I'm alone here without my best friend.
If you did something to deliberately hurt him, yes it would be your fault. BUT YOU DIDN'T...you did something that you thought was going to make him better. Yes, it does hurt. If it didn't you wouldn't be human. It will hurt for a long time...maybe for always...but you are not to blame. It was his time now, but he will always be with you. I am crying as I write this, because I know what it is to lose a very close love. There are no words that are going to console you now....just know that you did all you could for him. Be strong now....this loss is a part of who you are now. YOU DID YOUR BEST FOR HIM....and he knows that. I wish I was there with you now....you need a good hug.
I am so sorry
It absolutely is not your fault!! You gave him medication that the vet prescribed, you did what you were supposed to do. There was no way of knowing the outcome. Please don't beat yourself up, you loved him and he you. He is at peace now, I hope the same for you.
oh maggie. I am so sorry for you. That's a horrible thing to go through. But you have to remind yourself that without you, and the love and care you gave him these last years and months, he wouldn't have been around nearly so long.
You weren't trying to hurt him, you were doing everything you could to help. I know that's not much of a comfort right now, but in time, hopefully this will hurt less.
I am again, so sorry that you have to be without him. You know you can drop me a line anytime you feel like it. I am usually online until around 3am.
Maggie as I said in my PM "NO YOU DID NOT KILL HIM." I say this through tears and with a heavy heart for you Maggie. Big Bubba was terribly ill and his health was already compromised. You know all this. You had already begun the process of Grieving for him, but was hoping for a miracle. Nothing any of us can say right now will ease your pain. Death hurts those it leaves behind. So Grieve my friend. Morn the loss of your BELOVED Bubba. When you are ready come back to us but right now take time for you. I am so sorry Maggie.
My dear noble & humble friend, you IN NO WAY killed your bestest Bud!! You took him to the vet. You did as you were told. When there were signs of distress, you called the vet & again, did as you were told. You did not just *decide* to give him albuterol, and neither did you decide to continue the method treatment; that is all on your vet, Maggs!
Please please please do not let unwarranted guilt eat you up, Maggs! Yes, unwarranted, because you took the steps and made the calls to keep your bestest bud with you, and not in pain or distress. You are surely one of the most compassionate and caring of all the animal peeps I have ever known, my dear!!
I am figuring that nothing anyone sez can really help alleviate the horrible emotions you are going thru at this point, but others are right when they say he is in Kitty Paradise! I would imagine that Big Bubba is, at this very moment, lapping up warmed "Creme de la Creme" from a golden bowl ~ And Maggie, I would guarantee that he loves you with all of his kitty heart! Altho we all wish our other critters would live as long as our shelled family members, we all must face the fact that they don't. And altho I don't speak Cat-ese, I would guess that Big Bubba would tell you not to fret if he could.
You have experienced some severe trauma, my dear; so to have such feelings of horror and guilt may be expected.. hopefully you will see the truth in the words written here by peeps who know & love you, Maggs:
And so I say once again, NOTHING you did was wrong or caused the death of your bestest bud, nothing!
May God comfort you during this tragic time, giving you peace of mind to know you did not cause this pain & also give you a heart of wisdom to know that Big Bubba loves you & misses you just as you love & miss him.
My sincere sympathies as you go thru this very sorrowful time, Magg.
{{{{{Maggie}}}}
Your purple pal,
Me
I'm so sorry that you lost Big Bubba, Maggie! But in no way are you at fault in this. You were only trying to help, and following doctor's orders. How could you possibly know the medication would harm him? I know this is a very hard thing for you to process, and only time will dull the edges.
Maggie, I'm so sorry about Bubba~! You did your best to care for him. You did not kill him. There was no way for you to know that he would have a reaction to the Albuteral (sp?).
MAGGIE my friend, listen right now.....it was NOT your fault, you had NO way of knowing Bubba would react to the vapor. I am soooo severely sorry to hear this sad news, I know how much Big Bubba was like your own child, I am so heartbroken for you my friend. Nick, Tallula and I send our most heartfelt condolences. I know this is a tough time for you, but pls don't beat yourself up, you did not kill him. You are the last person in the world who would ever harm a pet or animal, you have such a big heart, and I pray for you that God holds your heart tightly. I know we can all say so much to try and help you feel better, but you know that if you want to chat, I'm here... Big hugs xxxxxxxx