I owe my mother...

[stephiiberrybean]

My friend tagged me in this on Facebook.
My mum is my best friend, we are so alike that we clash like hell but we're both joined at the hip. I don't know what i'd do without her.
But this just cracked me up so much that i had to share.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
" There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me. "

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my favorite:
My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you".

 

[Yvonne G]

Pretty funny. Thanks for the laugh.

 

[Tom]

Good stuff.

 

[dmarcus]

Nice, I have been told all those things by my mom growing up..

 

[Angrycowgoesmoo]

lol I like 1 and 2 especially 2

 

[tyler0912]

Made me giggle i saw this on facebook lol

 

[ascott]

Hmmmm....my mom haven't said those too much to me...however, I think I have said. Just about all of them to my son in the last two months.....he just turned 12 last month...he is an awesome person....I just think the testosterone is increasing so he is going through the "lost your damn mind" stage....LOL...

 

[Turtle Guru]

Lol great

 

[jackrat]

Love it.

 

[Jacqui]

I sure remember my Mom saying #6 and #10 was with peas instead.

I am not sure if my Mom ever said your favorite, but I have thought it myself many times, so I would assume I have actually said it to my children.

... and since your lucky enough to still have your Mother, do me a favor. Go give her a hug and tell her you love her. Do it for me, because I can no longer do it to my own Mother. It sounds like you have much the same relationship with your Mom, as I did with mine.

 

[CtTortoiseMom]

Haha, I use the if you don't eat your vegetables one. But my 5 year old alway's say's "well, I don't want to grow up". Now I say "if you don't eat your carrot's you'll go blind" tough but effective!

 

[stephiiberrybean]

Jacqui, I hug her and tell her i love her all the time.

Haha Erin. I'm quite lucky. my mum gave up with the whole making us sit there and eat things after my older brother.
She use to make him sit there and, no joke, he use to put one little bit in his mouth and chew it for an hour solid. Both parents got fed up in the end and decided we'll eat when were hungry

 

[ALDABRAMAN]

 

[Torty Mom]

That was very cute!! Thanks for sharing it!! Gonna print it out and take it to work!!

 

[DesertGrandma]

Hmmmm....my mom haven't said those too much to me...however, I think I have said. Just about all of them to my son in the last two months.....he just turned 12 last month...he is an awesome person....I just think the testosterone is increasing so he is going through the "lost your damn mind" stage....LOL...

Hold on tight...that will go away at about 18!

---

Gonna pass this one on to my kids, 'cause now THEY have kids too, haha.