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The member formerly known as captain awesome
10 Year Member!
Aug 15, 2008
Location (City and/or State)
There is this lady and she is struggling having a baby so the doctor brings out these pills and he tells her each of these pills takes away a quarter of the pain, but sends it to the father of the baby.
So she takes one and her husband says "Women are wimps, I feel no pain"
Then she takes another and her husband says "Man this doesn't hurt."
So she takes, two more and has no problem having the baby and neither her nor her husband are in pain.
Two days later they come home with the baby and the mail man is dead on their doorstep

If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

The other day I went to the Patent Office trying to register some of my inventions.
I told the lady at the desk that I invented a folding bottle. She asked me what I called it.
"A Fottle," I said.
"What else do you have?"
"A folding carton."
"What do you call it?"
"A Farton."
She sniggered and said, "Those are silly names for products and one of them sounds kind of crude."

I was so upset by her comment that I grabbed the form and left the office without even telling her about my folding bucket.

The Internet is so wonderful

I started using it just a few years ago and since then, so many incredible, beautiful things happened to me!
I got ripped, enlarged my penis, bought cheap quality Viagra, a new Rolex and met hordes of gorgeous young horny women from around the neighborhood.
Now I have to pay for everything, but that's OK - just have to wait for the call from my new Nigerian friends and collect my jackpot. Boy, the internet is full of nice, honest wonderful people!

One third of car crashes are due to drunk driving. Which means two thirds of car crashes are caused by drivers not drinking. Think before you enter a vehicle. If the driver is sober, enter at your own risk.


Well-Known Member
10 Year Member!
Oct 30, 2010
by the format/spacing of the first two jokes, I spent a good minute reading the third joke trying to figure out what was so funny about it not realizing the line below went with it. :p

and the last one...SMH, you definitely should NOT tell that one to teen drivers.


New Member
5 Year Member
Dec 7, 2011
I hope these hasn't already been posted:
What kind of bees make milk?!

Did you hear about the midget at the nudist colony?!
He kept sticking his nose in everyone's business!!!
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