Three Tortoises Walk into a Bar….

Nsav

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Three tortoises walk into a bar.

The first one, a Greek tortoise, had a bandage on his eyes so the bartender asked him, “what happened to your eyes?”

“You see, I stared up at a coiled UVB bulb in my tank for too long and it blinded me,” the Greek replied.

The second one, a Leopard tortoise, had a really lumpy shell, so the bartender asked him, “what happened to your shell?”

And the Leopard replied,”well, I started out way too dry and never got the humidity I needed, which caused this deformity.”

Then the bartender turned to the third one, a Radiated Tortoise, and asked him, “so what’s wrong with you?”

The Radiated said, “nothing — I’m just here looking for my dad. Have you seen him?”

And the bartender replied, “what’s he look like?”
 

Maggie3fan

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Three tortoises walk into a bar.

The first one, a Greek tortoise, had a bandage on his eyes so the bartender asked him, “what happened to your eyes?”

“You see, I stared up at a coiled UVB bulb in my tank for too long and it blinded me,” the Greek replied.

The second one, a Leopard tortoise, had a really lumpy shell, so the bartender asked him, “what happened to your shell?”

And the Leopard replied,”well, I started out way too dry and never got the humidity I needed, which caused this deformity.”

Then the bartender turned to the third one, a Radiated Tortoise, and asked him, “so what’s wrong with you?”

The Radiated said, “nothing — I’m just here looking for my dad. Have you seen him?”

And the bartender replied, “what’s he look like?”
There is nothing worse than a joke that other people get and you don't...I guess my airhead needs refueling
 

TammyJ

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The joke is that the bartender is not supposed to speak to the radiated tortoise or his father ever again, but he forgot what the father told him: "Never speak to me or my son ever again."
 

TammyJ

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How did you get any of that out of it?
Well, maybe it was actually not supposed to be the joke, but the father and son thing is a popular meme going around on the internet. The father and son look exactly alike except for size. I dunno. Like there is this large tortoise or rooster or whatever, and his son very little but looking exactly the same, and the father saying "Never speak to me or my son ever again." There's one with a rooster or something, with a row beside him of smaller ones getting smaller and smaller, and the father says "Never speak to me, or my son, or my son's son, or my son's son's son..." you got it. So it seemed to me that the Radiated Tortoise's father had issued this warning to the bartender from before the trio walked into the bar.
 

TammyJ

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Well, maybe it was actually not supposed to be the joke, but the father and son thing is a popular meme going around on the internet. The father and son look exactly alike except for size. I dunno. Like there is this large tortoise or rooster or whatever, and his son very little but looking exactly the same, and the father saying "Never speak to me or my son ever again." There's one with a rooster or something, with a row beside him of smaller ones getting smaller and smaller, and the father says "Never speak to me, or my son, or my son's son, or my son's son's son..." you got it. So it seemed to me that the Radiated Tortoise's father had issued this warning to the bartender from before the trio walked into the bar.
Tammy. There you go making a joke out of something you don't understand. Pshaw!
 

TammyJ

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You can see how lousy I am in tellling jokes. The joke is supposed to be, why would the bartender need an actual description of another tortoise in a bar that is filled with humans.
There was no mention of humans. As far as I was concerned, it was a tortoise bar, including the bartender. Oh well.
 

Cathie G

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The joke is that the bartender is not supposed to speak to the radiated tortoise or his father ever again, but he forgot what the father told him: "Never speak to me or my son ever again."
Huh I didn't see that. How did you come to that conclusion? You are brilliant 😘
 

Cathie G

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Well, maybe it was actually not supposed to be the joke, but the father and son thing is a popular meme going around on the internet. The father and son look exactly alike except for size. I dunno. Like there is this large tortoise or rooster or whatever, and his son very little but looking exactly the same, and the father saying "Never speak to me or my son ever again." There's one with a rooster or something, with a row beside him of smaller ones getting smaller and smaller, and the father says "Never speak to me, or my son, or my son's son, or my son's son's son..." you got it. So it seemed to me that the Radiated Tortoise's father had issued this warning to the bartender from before the trio walked into the bar.
Somehow I knew that was you even though I was reading backwards 🤣
 

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