Three Tortoises Walk into a Bar….

[Nsav]

Three tortoises walk into a bar.

The first one, a Greek tortoise, had a bandage on his eyes so the bartender asked him, “what happened to your eyes?”

“You see, I stared up at a coiled UVB bulb in my tank for too long and it blinded me,” the Greek replied.

The second one, a Leopard tortoise, had a really lumpy shell, so the bartender asked him, “what happened to your shell?”

And the Leopard replied,”well, I started out way too dry and never got the humidity I needed, which caused this deformity.”

Then the bartender turned to the third one, a Radiated Tortoise, and asked him, “so what’s wrong with you?”

The Radiated said, “nothing — I’m just here looking for my dad. Have you seen him?”

And the bartender replied, “what’s he look like?”

 

[Ink]

Very cute joke

 

[Maggie3fan]

Three tortoises walk into a bar.

The first one, a Greek tortoise, had a bandage on his eyes so the bartender asked him, “what happened to your eyes?”

“You see, I stared up at a coiled UVB bulb in my tank for too long and it blinded me,” the Greek replied.

The second one, a Leopard tortoise, had a really lumpy shell, so the bartender asked him, “what happened to your shell?”

And the Leopard replied,”well, I started out way too dry and never got the humidity I needed, which caused this deformity.”

Then the bartender turned to the third one, a Radiated Tortoise, and asked him, “so what’s wrong with you?”

The Radiated said, “nothing — I’m just here looking for my dad. Have you seen him?”

And the bartender replied, “what’s he look like?”

There is nothing worse than a joke that other people get and you don't...I guess my airhead needs refueling

 

[wellington]

There is nothing worse than a joke that other people get and you don't...I guess my airhead needs refueling

I don't get it either lol.

 

[TammyJ]

The joke is that the bartender is not supposed to speak to the radiated tortoise or his father ever again, but he forgot what the father told him: "Never speak to me or my son ever again."

 

[wellington]

The joke is that the bartender is not supposed to speak to the radiated tortoise or his father ever again, but he forgot what the father told him: "Never speak to me or my son ever again."

How did you get any of that out of it?

 

[TammyJ]

How did you get any of that out of it?

Well, maybe it was actually not supposed to be the joke, but the father and son thing is a popular meme going around on the internet. The father and son look exactly alike except for size. I dunno. Like there is this large tortoise or rooster or whatever, and his son very little but looking exactly the same, and the father saying "Never speak to me or my son ever again." There's one with a rooster or something, with a row beside him of smaller ones getting smaller and smaller, and the father says "Never speak to me, or my son, or my son's son, or my son's son's son..." you got it. So it seemed to me that the Radiated Tortoise's father had issued this warning to the bartender from before the trio walked into the bar.

 

[TammyJ]

Well, maybe it was actually not supposed to be the joke, but the father and son thing is a popular meme going around on the internet. The father and son look exactly alike except for size. I dunno. Like there is this large tortoise or rooster or whatever, and his son very little but looking exactly the same, and the father saying "Never speak to me or my son ever again." There's one with a rooster or something, with a row beside him of smaller ones getting smaller and smaller, and the father says "Never speak to me, or my son, or my son's son, or my son's son's son..." you got it. So it seemed to me that the Radiated Tortoise's father had issued this warning to the bartender from before the trio walked into the bar.

Tammy. There you go making a joke out of something you don't understand. Pshaw!

 

[Chubbs the tegu]

How did you get any of that out of it?

I agree. But i went into a bar once and asked the same. .. it was the lumpy leopard but not from being dry 🙄 he just had a big mouth

 

[Nsav]

You can see how lousy I am in tellling jokes. The joke is supposed to be, why would the bartender need an actual description of another tortoise in a bar that is filled with humans.

 

[Alex and the Redfoot]

Gosh! I was overthinking! I thought it was related to endangered status of Radiateds and re-introduction programs where neither hatchlings nor usual people have seen adult Radiateds in the wild

Many interpretations make it really a good joke!

 

[TammyJ]

You can see how lousy I am in tellling jokes. The joke is supposed to be, why would the bartender need an actual description of another tortoise in a bar that is filled with humans.

There was no mention of humans. As far as I was concerned, it was a tortoise bar, including the bartender. Oh well.

 

[Alex and the Redfoot]

If it was a human bar then only Russian tortoise could climb the bar stool to speak to the bartender. But it wasn't mentioned, maybe because it already has escaped.

 

[Yvonne G]

There is nothing worse than a joke that other people get and you don't...I guess my airhead needs refueling

All radiata look alike, hence Dad looks just like the guy who's looking for him.

 

[Alex and the Redfoot]

And @Nsav, thank you! Your jokes are more fun than countless "it happened so fast" ones. And I always think of "turdle" when do spot cleaning now

 

[wellington]

All radiata look alike, hence Dad looks just like the guy who's looking for him.

Lol, I bet they don't think so 🤣

 

[Nsav]

I agree. But i went into a bar once and asked the same. .. it was the lumpy leopard but not from being dry 🙄 he just had a big mouth

I love that my silly joke has spawned even funnier ones!!!

 

[Chubbs the tegu]

I love that my silly joke has spawned even funnier ones!!!

U dont me to be ur spawn hahaha

 

[Cathie G]

The joke is that the bartender is not supposed to speak to the radiated tortoise or his father ever again, but he forgot what the father told him: "Never speak to me or my son ever again."

Huh I didn't see that. How did you come to that conclusion? You are brilliant 😘

 

[Cathie G]

Well, maybe it was actually not supposed to be the joke, but the father and son thing is a popular meme going around on the internet. The father and son look exactly alike except for size. I dunno. Like there is this large tortoise or rooster or whatever, and his son very little but looking exactly the same, and the father saying "Never speak to me or my son ever again." There's one with a rooster or something, with a row beside him of smaller ones getting smaller and smaller, and the father says "Never speak to me, or my son, or my son's son, or my son's son's son..." you got it. So it seemed to me that the Radiated Tortoise's father had issued this warning to the bartender from before the trio walked into the bar.

Somehow I knew that was you even though I was reading backwards 🤣