You have One tortoise don't use THEY

[Maggie3fan]

Just make sure you don't ever call yourself US, Tammy.

Crap Tammy...YOu are they..an honest they...at least in our minds...Oregon is so much more stupidly liberal than California...This is my granddaughter...she decided at age 8 she was uncomfortable in her skin and she was a "they them". After a few years she became Alyx. A boy who has big boobs and has her partner who was born male and now SHE is getting injections, she is 6'4" of very ugly woman, the injections are giving her/him (my call) boobies. So damn phoney. I believe they use that description giving them permission to dress and act in a stupid ugly attraction getting way.

if she feels like a male wtf is she doing dressing like a circus streetwalker...Frankly, it's very... oh hell, I really don';t know what it is...clownish, ugly and so disruptive to a family. And I feel soooo sad for her

She belongs to my daughter in law...but I have been her gramma since she was 4. She says she's male, but I grew up on the streets of San Francisco, part of the Haight/Ashbury and Castro scene. I am not new to this, I have a gay 54 year old son...he is very masculine and has had the same male partner for 30 years or so...but they know they are gay and it ain't no thing...I cannot see them marching in a gay rights (Rainbow) parade...This thing in Oregon is carried out about as far as you can get..they SCREAM dysfunction..ok...I'm done...I'm guessing the farther out she/he/them gets, the madder I get... but I need to stop...lol
Guess I should make some sort of joke about...remember when my male Sulcata "Knobby" became Mary Knobbins??? Remember when my male Redfoot Red, became Layla? So this disease runs in my damn family...lol
oh and this way of dress in some form or another is daily dress...she does cover up when she goes to work, but still with the make up and strange clothes. She works finding housing for the houseless population in Corvallis...for the county...

 

[Raquel1978]

I just refer to mine as he and she (before anyone asks they are housed and kept totally separate) ..
My youngest one is she as she has a pretty face and the older one always looks grumpy.
A few years down the line I'll probably be proved wrong but I don't think they will hold it against me.

I'm sure those that have a issue with certain words can just leave them posts to the people that don't mind.

 

[wellington]

I just refer to mine as he and she (before anyone asks they are housed and kept totally separate) ..
My youngest one is she as she has a pretty face and the older one always looks grumpy.
A few years down the line I'll probably be proved wrong but I don't think they will hold it against me.

I'm sure those that have a issue with certain words can just leave them posts to the people that don't mind.

It's not a matter of having a problem with those posts. It's the fact it's a waste of time. Are we talking one, two, three or more? It, he, she, says one. They could be two or more. Oh wait, nope, it's just one.
Sometimes it's not even in the first post. So you answer, help out with whatever the problem is. Then in their next post it's they. Now you go back and reread what you think you must have missed. Nope, didn't miss anything to suggest there is more then one. So now you waste time getting clarity of how many there actually is. See, sometimes the suggested help for one will be a bit different if there are two living together. Knowing from the get go if there is one or multiple would be helpful for those willing to help.

 

[Littleredfootbigredheart]

It's not a matter of having a problem with those posts. It's the fact it's a waste of time. Are we talking one, two, three or more? It, he, she, says one. They could be two or more. Oh wait, nope, it's just one.
Sometimes it's not even in the first post. So you answer, help out with whatever the problem is. Then in their next post it's they. Now you go back and reread what you think you must have missed. Nope, didn't miss anything to suggest there is more then one. So now you waste time getting clarity of how many there actually is. See, sometimes the suggested help for one will be a bit different if there are two living together. Knowing from the get go if there is one or multiple would be helpful for those willing to help.

Barb I appreciate you’ve actually kept more to your point and not the political side of people referring to themselves as ‘they’ even if it’s something you don’t understand either.

The responses that are referring to the confusion of why people identify with the pronoun ‘they’ are quite disappointing tbh, we’re a tortoise forum, this thread will read horribly if a non binary person comes across it! We’re meant to be inclusive towards everyone regardless if we understand why they don’t want to be called ‘he’ or ‘she’

Crap Tammy...YOu are they..an honest they...at least in our minds...Oregon is so much more stupidly liberal than California...This is my granddaughter...she decided at age 8 she was uncomfortable in her skin and she was a "they them". After a few years she became Alyx. A boy who has big boobs and has her partner who was born male and now SHE is getting injections, she is 6'4" of very ugly woman, the injections are giving her/him (my call) boobies. So damn phoney. I believe they use that description giving them permission to dress and act in a stupid ugly attraction getting way.
View attachment 378981
if she feels like a male wtf is she doing dressing like a circus streetwalker...Frankly, it's very... oh hell, I really don';t know what it is...clownish, ugly and so disruptive to a family. And I feel soooo sad for her
View attachment 378984
She belongs to my daughter in law...but I have been her gramma since she was 4. She says she's male, but I grew up on the streets of San Francisco, part of the Haight/Ashbury and Castro scene. I am not new to this, I have a gay 54 year old son...he is very masculine and has had the same male partner for 30 years or so...but they know they are gay and it ain't no thing...I cannot see them marching in a gay rights (Rainbow) parade...This thing in Oregon is carried out about as far as you can get..they SCREAM dysfunction..ok...I'm done...I'm guessing the farther out she/he/them gets, the madder I get... but I need to stop...lol
Guess I should make some sort of joke about...remember when my male Sulcata "Knobby" became Mary Knobbins??? Remember when my male Redfoot Red, became Layla? So this disease runs in my damn family...lol
oh and this way of dress in some form or another is daily dress...she does cover up when she goes to work, but still with the make up and strange clothes. She works finding housing for the houseless population in Corvallis...for the county...

This post was a particularly uncomfortable read, why are we putting this person on this platform, likely without permission, for everyone to comment on? I’ve always loved interacting with you maggie, but this post feels wrong on multiple levels

 

[Maggie3fan]

Barb I appreciate you’ve actually kept more to your point and not the political side of people referring to themselves as ‘they’ even if it’s something you don’t understand either.

The responses that are referring to the confusion of why people identify with the pronoun ‘they’ are quite disappointing tbh, we’re a tortoise forum, this thread will read horribly if a non binary person comes across it! We’re meant to be inclusive towards everyone regardless if we understand why they don’t want to be called ‘he’ or ‘she’

This post was a particularly uncomfortable read, why are we putting this person on this platform, likely without permission, for everyone to comment on? I’ve always loved interacting with you maggie, but this post feels wrong on multiple levels

I apologize for offending you...but, my granddaughter puts herself out there and these are the mildest I could find on her Facebook page... now you might know how I feel in public with her...I really am sorry you are offended, but this is everyday life in Oregon...

 

[Maggie3fan]

The responses that are referring to the confusion of why people identify with the pronoun ‘they’ are quite disappointing tbh, we’re a tortoise forum, this thread will read horribly if a non binary person comes across it! We’re meant to be inclusive towards everyone regardless if we understand why they don’t want to be called ‘he’ or ‘she’

If that type of person does come on and read that...they will understand, if they are genuine, as they will have had something like that happen or seen it happen. You are offended because you don't live in a city where my granddaughter is the norm. Now we will leave it be...if you are offended don't reread it cuz, I'm done talking about it...

 

[Littleredfootbigredheart]

I apologize for offending you...but, my granddaughter puts herself out there and these are the mildest I could find on her Facebook page... now you might know how I feel in public with her...I really am sorry you are offended, but this is everyday life in Oregon...

I’m confused on what you’re saying they identify as, so I’m going to refer to them as ‘she’.
She has the choice to put herself out there on her own personal platforms, but has no say on her grandmother posting her to a public forum where her pictures are open to scrutiny from strangers.

“she is 6'4" of very ugly woman, the injections are giving her/him (my call) boobies. So damn phoney. I believe they use that description giving them permission to dress and act in a stupid ugly attraction getting way…. if she feels like a male wtf is she doing dressing like a circus streetwalker...Frankly, it's very... oh hell, I really don';t know what it is...clownish, ugly and so disruptive to a family. And I feel soooo sad for her”

You call her ugly, but I find these words quite ugly tbh, I’d never berate a family member on a platform like this, no matter how I felt towards them and their identity. If you truly feel that uncomfortable being in public with her, then maybe don’t be? If our younger generation only acted/dressed to appease older family members, what kind of authentic life is that to lead? If you’re not causing harm to anyone, why not be able to express yourself how you want outside of a professional setting?

I’m not necessarily offended, more just bummed to read this kind of thing on here, it just isn’t appropriate or the place

 

[wellington]

I’m confused on what you’re saying they identify as, so I’m going to refer to them as ‘she’.
She has the choice to put herself out there on her own personal platforms, but has no say on her grandmother posting her to a public forum where her pictures are open to scrutiny from strangers.

“she is 6'4" of very ugly woman, the injections are giving her/him (my call) boobies. So damn phoney. I believe they use that description giving them permission to dress and act in a stupid ugly attraction getting way…. if she feels like a male wtf is she doing dressing like a circus streetwalker...Frankly, it's very... oh hell, I really don';t know what it is...clownish, ugly and so disruptive to a family. And I feel soooo sad for her”

You call her ugly, but I find these words quite ugly tbh, I’d never berate a family member on a platform like this, no matter how I felt towards them and their identity. If you truly feel that uncomfortable being in public with her, then maybe don’t be? If our younger generation only acted/dressed to appease older family members, what kind of authentic life is that to lead? If you’re not causing harm to anyone, why not be able to express yourself how you want outside of a professional setting?

I’m not necessarily offended, more just bummed to read this kind of thing on here, it just isn’t appropriate or the place

This is the off topic chit chat section. Exactly the right place on this forum. It was done so members could talk about almost anything that had nothing to do with tortoises.
The honesty of Maggie is refreshing to me. Instead of sugar coating like so many on here do!
Likely only Yvonne knows this person that Maggie is talking about. It's her family and should be able to say what she wants. None of us would recognize her on the street from the pics, none of us likely know her and not likely she is on this forum. I'm not sure she would even care anyway.
We have members that have shared things on here that likely they never would have to someone they personally knew.
This section of this forum is supposed to be kinda a safe place to talk anything that doesn't break the rules.

 

[TammyJ]

It's certainly an interesting conversation! We are really following it quite avidly.

 

[TammyJ]

It's certainly an interesting conversation! We are really following it quite avidly.

Please, speak for yourself, Tammy.

 

[Megatron's Mom]

On the word "they" for single pets, ppl or whatever. My first language also would use it in that way. Just like saying hey guys which includes both male and female. I still use it all the time. I also have a disability so writing and reading things takes me a lot longer. I can go faster but trust me you guys sure don't want to read what I type the first round. Typos/grammar oh boy. I bet I drive most ppl nuts But the word they in tortoise land here probably should not be used, because it does cause confusion. Maybe we can word it nicely to say Hey look when asking for advice please let us know if you have 1 or more tortes up front.

Now I've come across ppl who say they are non binary, or feel like female when born male and vise versa. So far though every last one of them uses it to abuse others(mentally and financially). Now don't get me wrong these are just a handful of ppl in the world. But the ones I personally know are narcissists and just want to get something out of it for themselves. They will come up with some sob story, cry in the mall just to get ppl to give them something. Money, food and attention.

 

[Anastasia 22]

Wellington is absolutely correct. I read those posts where it's said "My tortoise is not feeling well. They bla bla". Of course, it's a first thing to ask if THEY are housed together.
I don't have anything against young generation but I wish they (using as plural form) build some stamina.
Sincerely, Bulldozer (my nickname for over 20 years).

 

[Littleredfootbigredheart]

This is the off topic chit chat section. Exactly the right place on this forum. It was done so members could talk about almost anything that had nothing to do with tortoises.
The honesty of Maggie is refreshing to me. Instead of sugar coating like so many on here do!
Likely only Yvonne knows this person that Maggie is talking about. It's her family and should be able to say what she wants. None of us would recognize her on the street from the pics, none of us likely know her and not likely she is on this forum. I'm not sure she would even care anyway.
We have members that have shared things on here that likely they never would have to someone they personally knew.
This section of this forum is supposed to be kinda a safe place to talk anything that doesn't break the rules.

I didn’t realise that was the section this thread had been put in because of the title. I’d presume general tortoise discussion.

There’s honesty, and then there’s being insulting, calling someone ‘ugly’ because of how they’re choosing to express themselves isn’t ok no matter what section this is posted in, least it shouldn’t be.
She can certainly say what she wants about her family, I never said she couldn’t, it’s even one thing to have typed what she typed, but to add a picture of the person isn’t fair, I don’t care if we don’t know her or would recognise her in the streets. I don’t like to see a strangers photo posted online with an insulting message, and being left open for others to be insulting if they want too. It’s really not a good look on the forum, again regardless of the sectionit’s given me the ick at least, but it is what it is.

I guess just be mindful of the fact a lot of you here are older, you get an influx of young new members, some hang around and come across threads like this, some don’t. Regardless, I hate to think of someone who looks similar to said person and feeling shamed for being here.

It may be ‘off topic chit chat’ but it’s still on a tortoise forum, let’s try not to be insulting towards peoples looks and identities, there’s countless weird and wonderful keepers out there, all should feel ‘safe’ to engage here, I think the world would be a pretty boring place without people expressing themselves how they wish through their looks and identities

 

[Anastasia 22]

I think the world would be a pretty boring place without people expressing themselves how they wish through their looks and identities
[/QUOTE]
It would. It's really cool for the circus.
But would you trust your doctor/lawer/CPA if he/she looks like that or couldn't decide on their gender?

 

[Littleredfootbigredheart]

I think the world would be a pretty boring place without people expressing themselves how they wish through their looks and identities

It would. It's really cool for the circus.
But would you trust your doctor/lawer/CPA if he/she looks like that or couldn't decide on their gender?
[/QUOTE]

I did say in a previous response “ why not be able to express yourself how you want outside of a professional setting?”

I consider myself very open minded, but wouldn’t want my doctor turning up wearing fishnets and a thong no. Would I care if that’s what they choose to look like in their own time? Nope, and any gender identity struggles they may have would be none of my business. If they’re a qualified doctor that works hard in their field, I’m game

 

[wellington]

I didn’t realise that was the section this thread had been put in because of the title. I’d presume general tortoise discussion.

There’s honesty, and then there’s being insulting, calling someone ‘ugly’ because of how they’re choosing to express themselves isn’t ok no matter what section this is posted in, least it shouldn’t be.
She can certainly say what she wants about her family, I never said she couldn’t, it’s even one thing to have typed what she typed, but to add a picture of the person isn’t fair, I don’t care if we don’t know her or would recognise her in the streets. I don’t like to see a strangers photo posted online with an insulting message, and being left open for others to be insulting if they want too. It’s really not a good look on the forum, again regardless of the sectionit’s given me the ick at least, but it is what it is.

I guess just be mindful of the fact a lot of you here are older, you get an influx of young new members, some hang around and come across threads like this, some don’t. Regardless, I hate to think of someone who looks similar to said person and feeling shamed for being here.

It may be ‘off topic chit chat’ but it’s still on a tortoise forum, let’s try not to be insulting towards peoples looks and identities, there’s countless weird and wonderful keepers out there, all should feel ‘safe’ to engage here, I think the world would be a pretty boring place without people expressing themselves how they wish through their looks and identities

So, they should be able to express themselves but the rest of us shouldn't be able to, hmmm.
On this forum, we have rules. Maggie can say what she wants about her own family. I'm sure she still loves her and wouldn't surprise me if the granddaughter knows how she feels.
Btw, there is no privacy any more if you post photos on social media.
I'm in Chicago, I lived in a gay ward. Seeing people like Maggies granddaughter was very normal in that area. Most of us that are used to seeing this is not bothered by it or surprised. Many if not all dress this way because they want the attention and thrive off it. Her granddaughter I'm pretty sure wouldn't care as she's getting the attention and actually exposing hers and those like her likes and style choice. Maybe it bothers you more because you are not used to it.
You might not like it or agree with it, but that doesn't give you the right to tell others what to post in the section that it was meant for, specially about their own family.

 

[Cathie G]

I think giving the countless tortoises you’ve helped and the countless hours you’ve both spent collectively over the years on this forum, has more than earned you the right to sit some out if you need to, honestly the whole reason I began wanting to help out advising where I could with some of the basics, was so the long standing, more regular members like yourselves could see some questions have been answered so the amount of threads to deal with is a little less overwhelming.
I’m by no means doing the perfect job, and there’s so many times I have to tag you guys for supportbut I like to think I’m helping by contributing in some way

I'm no expert and yet I sometimes try to answer if I see someone has been waiting for a while. I can't even direct them to the proper threads. The only thing I can really offer them is the knowledge that someone is here listening. That's why I kept coming back. It made me feel so not alone anymore. That's probably the most important thing. As far as the word they goes or even calling a tortoise it, I prefer to call them s/he if I don't know what gender they are. I don't like calling a living animal it unless it's my brother.And I think the actual proper way is to call them she until you know for sure. But since we are all just reading between the lines and dealing with spell check too and I don't know where I'm going with all this it's fun to have someone to pick a bone with

 

[Littleredfootbigredheart]

So, they should be able to express themselves but the rest of us shouldn't be able to, hmmm.
On this forum, we have rules. Maggie can say what she wants about her own family. I'm sure she still loves her and wouldn't surprise me if the granddaughter knows how she feels.
Btw, there is no privacy any more if you post photos on social media.
I'm in Chicago, I lived in a gay ward. Seeing people like Maggies granddaughter was very normal in that area. Most of us that are used to seeing this is not bothered by it or surprised. Many if not all dress this way because they want the attention and thrive off it. Her granddaughter I'm pretty sure wouldn't care as she's getting the attention and actually exposing hers and those like her likes and style choice. Maybe it bothers you more because you are not used to it.
You might not like it or agree with it, but that doesn't give you the right to tell others what to post in the section that it was meant for, specially about their own family.

You can absolutely express yourselves without the need to be insulting or posting strangers photos, I understand they share those photos online themselves, but that doesn’t automatically make it ok to frame them how they were here.
Obviously you don’t have to like how someone looks or understand/agree with how they identify, but there’s surely a more tactful ways of expressing that? Considering the kind of platform this is on you know?

I’m in my late 20’s and use social media on multiple platforms for many years, I’m more than used to this kind of thing it doesn’t bother me, it’s more it’s disappointing to read stuff like it, especially on this site that’s all.

I haven’t told anyone what they can or cannot post in this section, I’ve just expressed how I’ve felt about some of the responses on this particular thread, more a “yo that didn’t read very nicely here” it went to a place it really didn’t need to considering the initial intent of it

 

[Littleredfootbigredheart]

All said and done. The real problem here is, why the hell hasn't @Chubbs the tegu offered to get popcorn for us all yet?! This one was worthy before I even entered!

 

[Anastasia 22]

It would. It's really cool for the circus.
But would you trust your doctor/lawer/CPA if he/she looks like that or couldn't decide on their gender?

I did say in a previous response “ why not be able to express yourself how you want outside of a professional setting?”

I consider myself very open minded, but wouldn’t want my doctor turning up wearing fishnets and a thong no. Would I care if that’s what they choose to look like in their own time? Nope, and any gender identity struggles they may have would be none of my business. If they’re a qualified doctor that works hard in their field, I’m game
[/QUOTE]
This is the key word "their own time "!
I play Amtgard and I am an assassin there. Every Saturday I wear my assassin's outfit (fishnet is included), take a sword and go to the park to beat my people They beat me too. It's my little thing that I do for fun. It's my business and I don't force anyone to be proud of me for doing that
Otherwise I am wearing boring scrubs and pretend to be serious and professional (actually I am serious and professional).