Bad jokes

Chubbs the tegu

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 9, 2019
Messages
8,479
Location (City and/or State)
Ma
A new nurse at an old folks home goes into a patients room. He is asleep and she sees a bowl of nuts out the table. While waiting for him to wake up she eats a couple of handfuls. As she is eating the last one the old man awakes with a smile. He says oh thank you for enjoying the nuts all I can do know is lick the chocolate off them! You asked chub!
I thought that was going to a bad place.. im disappointed haha
 

maggie3fan

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jun 30, 2018
Messages
4,831
Location (City and/or State)
PacificNorthWest
Tom wtf! Ur killing me! U have the coolest life ever lol seriously man i would love to sit and have some beers w u and listen to ur stories. And of course meet all ur animals
And here is where I got it all over you...I sat with Tom...(no beers) I walked around the ranch...I got my face snoted on by an elephant! How freakin cool is that? I pet, PET, a rhino...kissed a zebra baby...saw cats do tricks...experienced a German Shepherd get unglued, thought he could eat me (omg!) and with one soft word he turned into wagging happy dog...actually, I was with Tom most of the day...unfortunately, I was sick as hell and was freakin miserable...but determined not to miss anything. I had brought a friend from Oregon, and Tom was entertaining and charming all day...I also met his ( beautiful) wife. Was in his house...saw how the ranch worked...
This was years ago, my last trip from Oregon...6-7 years? or more...Tom was not the celebrity then that he is now...(giggle) and as sick as I was he was wonderful...he treated me like a queen...we were shown everything. Tom could not have been more hospitable...I doubt with as popular as he is now, he still has TFO guests often...but for me it was one of those special 'never gonna happen again' moments. It really was the experience of a lifetime for me and I will always appreciate Tom for that adventure...get this...I didn't take one damn picture...
Now...if he'd just stop contradicting me, we might get along better...lol
 

Chubbs the tegu

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 9, 2019
Messages
8,479
Location (City and/or State)
Ma
And here is where I got it all over you...I sat with Tom...(no beers) I walked around the ranch...I got my face snoted on by an elephant! How freakin cool is that? I pet, PET, a rhino...kissed a zebra baby...saw cats do tricks...experienced a German Shepherd get unglued, thought he could eat me (omg!) and with one soft word he turned into wagging happy dog...actually, I was with Tom most of the day...unfortunately, I was sick as hell and was freakin miserable...but determined not to miss anything. I had brought a friend from Oregon, and Tom was entertaining and charming all day...I also met his ( beautiful) wife. Was in his house...saw how the ranch worked...
This was years ago, my last trip from Oregon...6-7 years? or more...Tom was not the celebrity then that he is now...(giggle) and as sick as I was he was wonderful...he treated me like a queen...we were shown everything. Tom could not have been more hospitable...I doubt with as popular as he is now, he still has TFO guests often...but for me it was one of those special 'never gonna happen again' moments. It really was the experience of a lifetime for me and I will always appreciate Tom for that adventure...get this...I didn't take one damn picture...
Now...if he'd just stop contradicting me, we might get along better...lol
Wow.. thats awesome! Thanks for the story mags. U can visit my ranch.. u might see a moth, couple ants, some bees, occasional garden snail, and if ur lucky might get sh*t on by a bird.
 

maggie3fan

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jun 30, 2018
Messages
4,831
Location (City and/or State)
PacificNorthWest
Wow.. thats awesome! Thanks for the story mags. U can visit my ranch.. u might see a moth, couple ants, some bees, occasional garden snail, and if ur lucky might get sh*t on by a bird.
Yeah...that's my place also...but you are welcome here anytime...and for a place to spend the night ya just have to cut away at some blackberries...
 
TortoiseSupply.com

New Posts

Top