COLD DARK ROOM

Moozillion

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Divorce is a tough time. My in laws are in the process of getting divorced right now and it's hell. I can only imagine how it must be firsthand. It's a long drawn out process for sure. They started the separation 7 months before our wedding and it's still going on 17 months later. I'm sorry you have to go through it.
It doesn't always have to be like that. After 8 years, my first husband and I agreed to a 'no-fault' divorce, which basically just means "irreconcilable differences," and no blame on either one. We just used the 1 attorney (mine) and it was a done deal after the 6 month separation; I went to court but he didn't have to since he wasn't contesting anything.
It was also made easier because we had no children, and I wanted out so badly that I didn't fight for some money I was legally entitled to.

But I believe VERY strongly in the idea that "you can be RIGHT, or you can be HAPPY." Which is another way of saying "choose your battles."
I'm glad I made the choices I did.
 

Moozillion

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Bone soup! :p
(Found in a 2400 year old tomb in China! The soup was still liquid because the lidded pot had been so tightly sealed, but had turned green because if the bronze container). :p
 

Cowboy_Ken

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Oregon is a no-fault state. Nothing needs to be stated other than “I want a divorce" our divorce is as Karen's Facebook status says “it's Complicated" too much I've ever felt for text messages, or emails to explain all the fun it's becoming. That last bit is dripping with sarcasm.
 

Moozillion

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Oregon is a no-fault state. Nothing needs to be stated other than “I want a divorce" our divorce is as Karen's Facebook status says “it's Complicated" too much I've ever felt for text messages, or emails to explain all the fun it's becoming. That last bit is dripping with sarcasm.
I'm truly sorry you're having to go through this. :(
 

meech008

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Jan 5, 2015
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It doesn't always have to be like that. After 8 years, my first husband and I agreed to a 'no-fault' divorce, which basically just means "irreconcilable differences," and no blame on either one. We just used the 1 attorney (mine) and it was a done deal after the 6 month separation; I went to court but he didn't have to since he wasn't contesting anything.
It was also made easier because we had no children, and I wanted out so badly that I didn't fight for some money I was legally entitled to.

But I believe VERY strongly in the idea that "you can be RIGHT, or you can be HAPPY." Which is another way of saying "choose your battles."
I'm glad I made the choices I did.
I'm really glad to know that people are able to have a civil divorce. My own patents divorce was ugly and Ben's parents divorce is turning into the same. There's so many hurt feelings, people have a hard time staying civil. I do understand that some people just aren't right for each other because personal growth has taken them both in separate directions. It's curious though, supposedly statistics say that after 10 years or so the chance of divorce goes way down.
 

Cowboy_Ken

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supposedly statistics say that after 10 years or so the chance of divorce goes way down.
This year would be our tenth. Had I only known that when I was approached, I might have been able to change the outcome simply by saying, “Let's wait another 6 months and then see."
No really, if it weren't for the costs involved and the lowering of ones personal standards(you say things not typical of you for example) this is okay. Yes I'm loosing a lot, but then also, I'm just a small speck in the greater picture of the universe and I get that there are things I'm not meant to understand.
 
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