COLD DARK ROOM

[Tidgy's Dad]

don't forget to install some air conditioning to prevent humidity and force hibernation

It's a bit expensive.
Would a vacuum cleaner on blow be suitable ?

 

[Tidgy's Dad]

just about to renovate to a chedder substrate... going to install a red coil bulb and a 179.8 FT deep tank of warter. obviously i will never bath him.

I'm currently planting some ravioli to grow in winter. will get a perch in case he chooses to fly View attachment 184641

I find they can be encouraged to fly with devices such as Ed's potato cannon.
But I do provide a parachute, of course, though Tidgy enjoys it so much she always chooses not to pull the ripcord.
And I am investing in a pizza bush.

 

[Gillian M]

Gosh, i am doing well !
I'll have a Well Known Member in no time at this rate.

Yes, if you go on like this, and if you take care of your tort. I've decided to SUBTRACT points if I get the feeling that a member does not take care of his/her cute little tort.

Good luck.

 

[Gillian M]

Can you train a tortoise to use a tin opener ?
Mine took months to learn how to use the TV remote.

Well done Tidgy! That's 20 points.

 

[johnandjade]

Are there others ?
Should I be using them ?

yeah!! all at once

 

[johnandjade]

Gosh, i am doing well !
I'll have a Well Known Member in no time at this rate.

you will have a well known member?!?

... rude joke in there

 

[johnandjade]

Can you train a tortoise to use a tin opener ?
Mine took months to learn how to use the TV remote.

tin openers are built in to their DNA , instinct kicks in 14yrs before the are delivered by a stork

 

[johnandjade]

Silly me.
But Tidgy's a tortoise, so is it still okay?
Or should I go the local river and obtain some wild


just apply in a counter clockwise direction and it will be ok

 

[johnandjade]

It's a bit expensive.
Would a vacuum cleaner on blow be suitable ?

perfectly! just remember to fill the bag with foreign objects first

 

[Tidgy's Dad]

you will have a well known member?!?

... rude joke in there

As if I weren't aware................

 

[Tidgy's Dad]

tin openers are built in to their DNA , instinct kicks in 14yrs before the are delivered by a stork

I thought tortoises were delivered by gooseberry bushes.

 

[Tidgy's Dad]

perfectly! just remember to fill the bag with foreign objects first

Foreign objects ?
Will French onions, German sausages and Spanish paella suffice ?

 

[JoesMum]

Foreign objects ?
Will French onions, German sausages and Spanish paella suffice ?

French letters would be impolite. However, you can just about get away with those.

 

[JoesMum]

I thought tortoises were delivered by gooseberry bushes.

They should be amongst the beet greens. Sugars in fruit aren't good for them.

 

[JoesMum]

I have just read a selection of the above posts to Mum. She is howling with laughter

 

[Tidgy's Dad]

They should be amongst the beet greens. Sugars in fruit aren't good for them.

So feeding icing sugar without the orange cake is okay ?
And what should i use to beat my greens ?

 

[Tidgy's Dad]

I have just read a selection of the above posts to Mum. She is howling with laughter

Send her our love.
It's nice when our silliness is appreciated.
I am currently writing a care sheet entitled; "Why tortoises are best kept in pairs".

 

[JoesMum]

So feeding icing sugar without the orange cake is okay ?
And what should i use to beat my greens ?

Lemon drizzle is probably lower sugar.

The effects of pineapple upside down cake are insufficiently researched.

I prefer my Kenwood Chef for beating but the traditionalists use a wicker carpet beater which may be easier to source in Morocco

 

[Tidgy's Dad]

Lemon drizzle is probably lower sugar.

The effects of pineapple upside down cake are insufficiently researched.

I prefer my Kenwood Chef for beating but the traditionalists use a wicker carpet beater which may be easier to source in Morocco

Great!!!
I do have one of those carpet beaters so am now giving three kilos of brussels a darned good thrashing.
I shall start experimenting with pineapple upside down cake using blackcurrant Black Forest Gateau as the control.

 

[JoesMum]

Great!!!
I do have one of those carpet beaters so am now giving three kilos of brussels a darned good thrashing.

Just don't admit to being British. We have enough problems with EU bureaucrats as it is.

I shall start experimenting with pineapple upside down cake using blackcurrant Black Forest Gateau as the control.

I think a Cornish Cream Tea is the accepted control for such for research.