So livid.

[Saleama]

You shouldn't feel bad. A few days in a dark box is not that big a deal. Heck, mine spend days on end burried in dark holes, and they do that to themselves. In fact, since mine all came up from hibernation too soon because of this crazy weather, I have had them in a 3 x 2 plastic tub under the box turtle table. They spend their days basking, eating and stinking up the entire house, lol. They will be as happy as I will be when I can put them back in the garden but they aren't in any danger from the temporary housing arrangement. And none of my 26 turtles and tortoises relax in the tub. They all run around like they are being dipped in acid. It is great exercise for them since they are cramped up in their winter homes. Keep the water warm to the touch, not to hot, not to cold and let him go at it. It is like running on a tread mill. It can only help the little guy.

 

[littleginsu]

I have noticed my new guy really does not appreciate his soaks, so i started covering the plastic (clear) tub in a towel so he can't really see out.. and it seems to calm him down a bit.

I am positive your Lou will be back to his normal self soon, do not beat yourself up!

 

[TMK1971]

Glad you and Lou are back on track.

Now onto this girl problem. Are you always there for her when she comes a calling? If so, no wonder she is playing you.
If you enjoy the occasional booty call, then this would actually be a good thing. I know plenty of guys that would enjoy a situation like this. I am under the impression that you are not.
Sometimes it takes the loss of something to appreciate what you had. Maybe if you weren't there for her at least once when she came a calling (more often would be better)...it might make her realize a few things. Probably not...but you did say that she wasn't this way at one time. You have enabled her to have her cake and eat it too.
The flip side...you make her realize that you are not there everytime she needs you...she might just go away. Which, again this is an assumption, is maybe a good thing for you.
Either way, don't be so hard on yourself. Enjoy life, what ever direction it takes you. It won't always be good but stop worrying about it and just enjoy the ride. Bumps can be fun...if you know how to go over them properly.

If you think about it...again, I could be way off since I don't know a lot about your situation...but maybe she really does like you BUT you are not open to new things. Maybe she is hoping you come out of your shell and try some new things. She comes back into town and wants to see you but you are you...and she has changed, you have not. If you dont' want to change, so be it...but if you are open to some new explorations...

 

[LoutheRussian]

Glad you and Lou are back on track.

Now onto this girl problem. Are you always there for her when she comes a calling? If so, no wonder she is playing you.
If you enjoy the occasional booty call, then this would actually be a good thing. I know plenty of guys that would enjoy a situation like this. I am under the impression that you are not.
Sometimes it takes the loss of something to appreciate what you had. Maybe if you weren't there for her at least once when she came a calling (more often would be better)...it might make her realize a few things. Probably not...but you did say that she wasn't this way at one time. You have enabled her to have her cake and eat it too.
The flip side...you make her realize that you are not there everytime she needs you...she might just go away. Which, again this is an assumption, is maybe a good thing for you.
Either way, don't be so hard on yourself. Enjoy life, what ever direction it takes you. It won't always be good but stop worrying about it and just enjoy the ride. Bumps can be fun...if you know how to go over them properly.

If you think about it...again, I could be way off since I don't know a lot about your situation...but maybe she really does like you BUT you are not open to new things. Maybe she is hoping you come out of your shell and try some new things. She comes back into town and wants to see you but you are you...and she has changed, you have not. If you dont' want to change, so be it...but if you are open to some new explorations...

You makes very a very valid argument. I have aloud myself to be in the position I am in. I have to stop coming to her rescue and aide when she doesn't want a friendship outside of that. I had a long talk with myself about all this last night. Well I talked to Lou and he looked at me like "c'mon man your better than her. And you're talking to a tortoise so don't expect much a response." However the look on Lou's little face said plenty. As hard as it is to let go of those you love and care about sometime you have to prude the dead branches so new growth can occur.


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian

---

I also built Lou a new home. It's 3x6 with coco noir and topsoil substrate. He also has lots of obstacles and a nice hide. I got him a cuttle bone yesterday which he has already sampled. Now I just need to save up to get him a better basking lamp and UVB light.


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian

 

[Whitneyrae]

Lou and I struggle with soaks. He never seems to wanna be in them. I've got a thermometer and have tried varying temperatures between 80-100 degrees and he always seems to be searching for a way out. I keep trying to be the best caregiver I can for him but i feel like I don't do a very good job. Ugh. It's just not my weekend.


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian

---

We were watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Lou was clearly captivated.



[TURTLE]LoutheRussian

---

Hey! you don't wanna be with a girl that can't even take care of your tort, I'd say tell her to kick dust!

 

[Saleama]

Glad you and Lou are back on track.

Now onto this girl problem. Are you always there for her when she comes a calling? If so, no wonder she is playing you.
If you enjoy the occasional booty call, then this would actually be a good thing. I know plenty of guys that would enjoy a situation like this. I am under the impression that you are not.
Sometimes it takes the loss of something to appreciate what you had. Maybe if you weren't there for her at least once when she came a calling (more often would be better)...it might make her realize a few things. Probably not...but you did say that she wasn't this way at one time. You have enabled her to have her cake and eat it too.
The flip side...you make her realize that you are not there everytime she needs you...she might just go away. Which, again this is an assumption, is maybe a good thing for you.
Either way, don't be so hard on yourself. Enjoy life, what ever direction it takes you. It won't always be good but stop worrying about it and just enjoy the ride. Bumps can be fun...if you know how to go over them properly.

If you think about it...again, I could be way off since I don't know a lot about your situation...but maybe she really does like you BUT you are not open to new things. Maybe she is hoping you come out of your shell and try some new things. She comes back into town and wants to see you but you are you...and she has changed, you have not. If you dont' want to change, so be it...but if you are open to some new explorations...

You makes very a very valid argument. I have aloud myself to be in the position I am in. I have to stop coming to her rescue and aide when she doesn't want a friendship outside of that. I had a long talk with myself about all this last night. Well I talked to Lou and he looked at me like "c'mon man your better than her. And you're talking to a tortoise so don't expect much a response." However the look on Lou's little face said plenty. As hard as it is to let go of those you love and care about sometime you have to prude the dead branches so new growth can occur.


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian

---

I also built Lou a new home. It's 3x6 with coco noir and topsoil substrate. He also has lots of obstacles and a nice hide. I got him a cuttle bone yesterday which he has already sampled. Now I just need to save up to get him a better basking lamp and UVB light.


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian

---

Dome light fixture is $8 at Home Depot and you can use normal light bulbs for a basking lamp. All together under $10. UVB is actually much simpler. Take Lou outside for a half hour each day and let him run around the yard or public area where you live. Watch him close. Torts can get away fast and they are hard to find.

 

[LoutheRussian]

I live on the Washington coast so it's cold and raining with wind almost always. So taking him outside isn't really an option very often. We went out yesterday but that's the only sunny day we will have for the forecasted future. Sometimes I'll open the window and put Lou up on the window sill because it's quite wide. He loves that. He likes to just sit and stare out the window.


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian

 

[littleginsu]

Hey! you don't wanna be with a girl that can't even take care of your tort, I'd say tell her to kick dust!

I concur. The situation/relationship simply sounds toxic and as hard as it may be.. it is probably time to let it go. From what little information provided, it would appear both parties are co-dependent in some form or the other... perhaps some time on your own (with Lou, of course) is in order to aide in building your self-confidence.

Keep your chin up!

 

[erdavis]

Sorry you are going through rough times. I've been there before. Just rip the bandaid off, it'll hurt at first but keep yourself occupied with other stuff. You already know that it will be better for you in the long run. You need to put yourself first and you aren't. You're putting her first and its unhealthy for you.

Just no matter what always always remember that its not a bad life. it's just a bad day, week, month, or few months. But you will get out of this slump. I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. Maybe its so that when you find the right girl for you, you will be able to appreciate it all that much more. Think about it this way: If you want the wrong girl so badly that you'll risk your happiness, imagine how amazing it will be when you find the right one?

Best of luck to your and your tort, looks like you're not the only one who's life she's manipulating. You have each other now, you guys don't need her anymore

 

[LoutheRussian]

The hardest part of letting go will be losing the relationship I've built with her son over the last couple years. He was two when I came around and his dad is a deadbeat who doesn't see him so I've been the only good male role model in his life. And he and I have a special friendship. I'll miss him and I know he will miss me. He is constantly doing things to be just like me. Ugh. What have I gotten myself into. I don't pick women very well. Maybe I need to stop being a nice person. Seems like the guys I know that treat their girlfriends the worst have the most faithful and loving women. Looks like Lou and I are going to be shut ins since I'm already an introvert Lou will be the perfect companion.


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian

---

Thank you all for your encouragement and advice. As hard as all this will be to end I know it is for the best and having complete strangers share their time and advice has made me feel a little better.


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian

 

[erdavis]

It is not a matter of being a nice or a mean person. The problem is that the nice guys stick around that one person that is emotionally abusing them, so they don't get a chance to find anyone else. Whereas the mean guys would've left long ago or at least not ever let her start treating them like she does you. They can shrug it off and put themselves out there so they can find someone else. You know that you deserve better than her. You can't meet anyone else until you are done with her. One door needs to shut before another one opens.
Maybe you and Lou were meant to find each other. Maybe he is supposed to be showing you that if he can do it, you can do it.
He was with someone that didn't treat him right, just like you
He somehow left his owner, just as you need to leave this girl
He was left in the dark and was scared and confused and maybe felt like it was never going to get better, just as you might feel when this girl leaves you again and as you will feel for a bit when (not if ) you finally leave her
But he found you, and this is probably the best he's ever been and now he realizes that none of the past matters. Just as you will find someone and realize it one day. But you have to let go first.

So if you don't do it for you, do it for Lou!

 

[Yvonne G]

If you can split amicably, it might be possible to continue the relationship with the boy.

 

[LoutheRussian]

I would like that I love the little guy and he wouldn't understand why I stopped seeing him. Well time to start boxing up her stuff.


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian

 

[Tom]

You sound like a really good guy, and Lou sounds like he gives some darn good advice. I just want to say I'm hoping for the best for you, and I hope that little boy finds something good in life.

 

[littleginsu]

If you can split amicably, it might be possible to continue the relationship with the boy.

I am with Yvonne, if at all possible, hopefully you can still be a part of her son's life without letting her manipulate and drain you emotionally.

You can still be a nice guy and not be a doormat; these traits are not mutually exclusive. You matter, too and you should never allow anyone to make you feel like a second class citizen in your own life.

 

[LoutheRussian]

Sounds like I'll be seeing her either tonight or tomorrow. I guess we will see how it goes. Self Esteem by Offspring comes to mind for some reason lol. And on a torty note. Lou used the water dish in his new pen today to soak in on his own! Yay! I'm so proud of the little guy. Today he's acting like he's starving so I gave him a little extra salad mix and he scarfed it down.


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian

---

this is from yesterday soaking up the sun in his window perch. He loves sitting there looking out he window. Sometimes he patrols the window sill but most times he just hangs out and gazes out.


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian

 

[LoutheRussian]

Here we go...


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian

 

[mike taylor]

Good luck!

 

[LoutheRussian]

Good luck!

Thanks. I'm gonna need all I can get just so I don't do something stupid lol


[TURTLE]LoutheRussian

 

[mike taylor]

Ha ha boobies are magical .