This is just a way of me venting without doing it to my family seeing as they are also hurting right now. In September I bought 4 beautiful baby tortoises (for my birthday), everything seemed fine but slowly they started to become ill, I already knew what I had done wrong, I bought from a bad source without realizing. All 4 of my babies where dead within 3 months. I asked a member here if I could buy a tortoise from him, but at the time my grandfather got into a accident. So I had to cancel. (Mid December) He rolled his car twice. At 84 years old, this was no small incident for him or my family. You see my father passed away when myself and my sisters where just very little kids, so my grandfather and my grandma had us and our mother come live with them. He was in all accounts our dad.. I have never met a better man, husband or father than this man.. he supported 5 women and never complained about us or our mother or grandmother. All we ever had from him was love and support. I moved away from my family about 4 years ago and although I miss them all the time I do get to see them practically monthly. He passed 51 days after this accident (2weeks ago) and honestly I’m mentally lost. I have two beautiful human babies to take care of but sometimes it’s hard just to think, let alone get out of bed. I have been dealing with so much loss over these past few months that I’m just not sure what to do. I really want another tortoise but at the same time I know I cannot deal with losing anything else right now. I also have no idea when or if I’ll be able to take care of a new animal. I have always looked to my animals when I am hurting, but I guess I’m just lost. I alway knew I got my love of animals from my Gampy so I guess it might just be reminding me of that as well.. But I’m lost from losing my new pets and I’m lost because I lost my father.... I’m sorry I really needed to vent and I just can’t put this on my family as they are all hurting so much right now too. Anyone have advice on coping a loss? I have never had a family member die, that I can remember and I don’t have friends, so I’ve never lost any of them lol.