had another run in with the "crazy neighbor"

[moswen]

for those who haven't heard, i have a crazy neighbor two houses down from me who comes out and yells at me when she thinks i didn't come to a complete 3 second stop at the stop sign on the other side of the street from her house. she's told my husband she was going to run over my daughter when she got old enough to play in the street (i'm sorry, how many people actually let their children play in the street when they "get old enough"?), she's thrown a beer can at my car, and she's stood in her driveway or in the street infront of my house cussing me out several times and once infront of her children...

i've been told by the other neighbors around here that she's crazy and that i should just go inside and call the police if she even starts heading my way, so it happened again, and this time i did go inside and call the police.

they showed up and the police officer told me that he used to live on my street, and that he's responded to a lot of calls from other neighbors regarding her, that he thinks she's a nut, and that he's tired of responding to calls about her, and i told him i think she's just targeting me, he said he's heard other ppl say that before, bla bla bla, i told him what all she's done, and he told me that i should actually go knocking on everyone's doors on this street and get everyone she's ever harassed to sign a piece of paper and take it to court.

now, i'm posatively NOT going to take this to court, i'm just not made of that stock, but my husband wants me to knock on everyone's doors and see if anyone wants to petition the police department for a gag order for her if she ever bothers anyone again. i'm kind of more okay with that, but i just honestly feel so white trash that i have to deal with a neighbor in this way, instead of being able to just live in an area where there's no white trash drunken idiot who stands out in her front yard with her children and cusses at one random target every few months...

i guess it has been speculated by other neighbors that the reason she is this way is because she used to have low self esteem (and then the rest of this is true) because she was severely over weight, and she had a surgery, got skinny (skinnier, she's not that tiny now), told her husband that she could do better than him, divorced him, parties all the time now and just has a succession of boyfriends, depending on how much they pay her!!! (um, prostitution...?)

so what do you think? should i do it?

 

[Candy]

I think that you should call Child Services on her if she's drinking and cussing and sleeping with "X" amount of men in front of her children. I think that they would come out and have probably been out there before from what you're explaining to us. I feel so bad for you having trash like that around your house. Good luck.

 

[Yvonne G]

If there's any possible way to avoid driving that direction, even if it takes you out of the way, I'd really try to do it. If you don't give her the satisfaction of a response she'll (hopefully) soon tire of harassing you. Go the other way.

 

[turtletania]

i agree with Yvonne..... try the other way.... maybe she will tire of you and target someone else. But I am worried for her children.

 

[moswen]

Oh yes I do take the other way to my house now but I was distracted today and I forgot. Also I've asked about her kids before too and it's just heresay, no one can actually prove that she's getting paid by her boyfriends, because she's only just verbally told two people that I know of. Also I don't think any police officer has found her officially intoxicated when they go talk to her about "proper public conduct", so nothing at all can be officially proven! Isn't that so sad for her kids, they have no chance at being able to control their tempers or at being civil towards people who make them mad, which really puts them at a severe disadvantage when the real world smacks them in the face.

 

[Stephanie Logan]

I hope she doesn't own a gun.

Even if you got a signed complaint from all the neighbors, that may just result in a fine or probation, which would make her even angrier at the world and at you specifically.

I agree with Yvonne. Stay out of her way if you can.

 

[Candy]

If you don't mind me asking what area do you live in? Or what state?

 

[Isa]

I am sorry to hear you have to go through that!!! What a crazy person! I agree with Yvonne too, stay out of her way. Good luck and keep us posted.

 

[Jacqui]

I think that you should call Child Services on her if she's drinking and cussing and sleeping with "X" amount of men in front of her children. I think that they would come out and have probably been out there before from what you're explaining to us. I feel so bad for you having trash like that around your house. Good luck.

While her behavior is not what we might consider good morals, I don't think it would qualify as being abusive to her children. I do think if she found out about you turning her in, your life would become a real hell. I think ignore her and she will look for a new target or at least stop bothering you.

 

[Candy]

I think that you should call Child Services on her if she's drinking and cussing and sleeping with "X" amount of men in front of her children. I think that they would come out and have probably been out there before from what you're explaining to us. I feel so bad for you having trash like that around your house. Good luck.

While her behavior is not what we might consider good morals, I don't think it would qualify as being abusive to her children. I do think if she found out about you turning her in, your life would become a real hell. I think ignore her and she will look for a new target or at least stop bothering you.

Unfortunately too many people look the other way when it comes to children. Parents should not be drinking and cussing in front of them and should be questioned if they are by the right people that is why I suggested it. Too many children end up hurt when others turn the other cheek. I have a real problem with drinking and raising children, we owe them more then that and sometimes they can't solve the problem themselves and someone has to step in. I myself would definitely be in this woman's face and I would have told the police officer to do his job and stop complaining that too many people are calling about this person. If she's going to cause me grief then it works both ways. He already has stated that he knows what is going on I should expect more of a response from him then trying to tell me to live with it. I myself would do what the officer said so she knows that she cannot continue to act this way and get away with it.

 

[Jacqui]

I think that you should call Child Services on her if she's drinking and cussing and sleeping with "X" amount of men in front of her children. I think that they would come out and have probably been out there before from what you're explaining to us. I feel so bad for you having trash like that around your house. Good luck.

While her behavior is not what we might consider good morals, I don't think it would qualify as being abusive to her children. I do think if she found out about you turning her in, your life would become a real hell. I think ignore her and she will look for a new target or at least stop bothering you.

Unfortunately too many people look the other way when it comes to children. Parents should not be drinking and cussing in front of them and should be questioned if they are by the right people that is why I suggested it. Too many children end up hurt when others turn the other cheek. I have a real problem with drinking and raising children, we owe them more then that and sometimes they can't solve the problem themselves and someone has to step in.

Candy I can see this is a real touchy subject for you and I have to admit for me too, but the other way. I had the fun of having somebody calling on me for things like failing to put up a Christmas tree one year (had been in the hospital the week of Christmas), for the fact I had over the one dog and one cat that "normal" folks should have, for having a broken window with a vine growing in it (the cops and I never figured where that was ), and every time I would be sick I ended up being called in. I was raising four kids alone and grew very paranoid. Believe me, that also is no way to raise children. So I see it from the other side, plus to me that's putting personal values onto somebody else. I see it being worse to smoke around children as they can cause health issues, but that also is not considered abusive.

 

[Candy]

Yes Jacqui it is a sore subject with me. I feel for children who have parents that can't figure out their own lives before they bring innocent children into this world. I've always felt that I owe my children more then that. I also can understand your side of it and I'm sorry that this happened to you. I know I was a single mother raising two boys of my own at one time....well I can't say on my own because I had a lot of help from my mother....priceless. I do feel that the police officer should have done more about the situation then he did. There's always something to be done you just have to find out what that something is.

 

[DeanS]

HMMMMMMMMM! Got an axe or a chainsaw in your garage?

 

[Maggie Cummings]

You can go to small claims court, I think that's the one, anyhow, you can go to court and get a restraining order on her that will forbid her to yell at you. All restraining orders are NOT just about making someone stay away from you. So that's what *I* would do. I'm trying to remember when I did it last I think it cost a $15 filing fee. Then you have to actually go to court and explain your situation to a judge. I know that takes a bit of time, but you need to be the "squeaky wheel" that gets the grease. Every time she yells at you call the police, just keep calling them and sooner or later they will get tired of you and actually do something about it. Call child protective services about her being drunk in public, do everything you can think of to fight back at her and make the authorities finally do something. But nothing will change until you actually make a direct fight back at her with all the police depts, and kid protection places. Use all the places possible.

 

[Angi]

In my experience CPS cares more about the parents right than the kids. I used to teach living skills to developmentaly disabled adults. I had one case, a retarded mother with a 2year old and 4 year old daughter. These kids lived in filth, didn't eat right and half the time she forgot about them. I don't know how many times her nieghbors and myself called CPS. After 9 months of working with her I quit. I found out that about 4 years later she lost or gave up the girls after her boyfriend molested one of the them. This was 15 years ago and it still makes me sick to think about it.
I say document everything and ask your nieghbors to do the same. Threatning to run over your daughter is something the police should take seriously. Good luck!

 

[Stephanie Logan]

HMMMMMMMMM! Got an axe or a chainsaw in your garage?

Hahahaha!

I am an enthusiastic advocate of available, affordable birth control.

I also think prospective parents should have to get a license to have kids, or at least undergo the same qualification process as adoptive parents do before being allowed to raise a child.

 

[harris]

Oooo man, this lady's got "taser" written all over her. I'd invest in one of those.

 

[Treebon]

I think in this case the old standby of the flaming bag of poop on the front porch is the only solution.

 

[Italianlnm]

When Zac and I first moved off base we rented a house in a small neighborhood, and when we started moving in, Our direct neighbors (Left and right) came over to say hello and welcome us. They told us a story about a neighborhood drugie/drunk/"prostitute", except they used another word, and how she would come to people's houses and yell at them, tell them all kinds of things. She was a loon. She also had 2 children, that were rather young.

They said for years they had been trying to get something done about it. That the police wouldn't do anything, because no matter how much she would come tell them something, it wasn't downright disorderly conduct. She was doing it.. with "grace" so to speak. Not really yelling, just being there, and telling them what they should and shouldn't be doing. It had gotten to the point where it was ridiculous.

We moved out not long after we moved in, so I'm not sure what happened with her. But I know they called CPS, and I am pretty sure that they took her children and took her to do a drug test. I'm not sure of the rest after that though, and the only reason they took the children was because she was a drunk and always high.

I want more for my child than I ever had, and I think that most reasonable parents want better for their child. They want the best. And to know that someone doesn't care what kind of place their child is growing up in, or how their child is growing up utterly disgusts me. Even the fact that she threatened to run over a child, should be an alarm going off in the police's head. If he gets calls all the time, shouldn't that mean that something is OBVIOUSLY wrong? I would try and get this straightened in anyway possible. Maggie is right, Small Claims Court. You could get a restraining order. You could call CPS, I think that they have to look into something if their is a call? I'm not sure if they have to do something about it, but that do have to look into it.

Until then I would just avoid her at all costs. Keep trying to get the situation right. Go to neighbors for a petition. I would not let someone threaten my family, and disrupt my life without being punished for their actions.