Ethical Questions?

[terracolson]

Ethical delimma:
I have fostered a Russian Tortoise for my mother in law. It has the best life here. If i give it back, she will not properly care for it. It will live inside her apt, no lights, she will feed it per the book, with vitamins, and place him in the closet to hibernate.

She only has it cause her son wants one. she sold her last one when she was broke and bought him a new one. he never noticed. So her 11 yr old doesn't really care.
Do i say it died?
escaped?
do i talk to my nephew and ask if i can keep it? (he will tell her we spoke)

He is so happy here outside. With her he will live in the apartment roaming around pee and poop where ever, she used to joke her old one hid under teh fridge, she thought it was funny.

I love this little guy. He greets me and loves to be picked up. He is SO personable.

My husband says i have to give it back. Its his mom. She will be here around mid November. HELP!

 

[Yvonne G]

You have to do what's right. The tortoise isn't yours. Can't you talk to her, expressing how much you've fallen in love with the animal and would really like to keep it. Offer to talk to the kid for her to make sure its ok with him if she gives his tortoise away.

Yvonne

 

[katesgoey]

Well, how did you end up "fostering" for them? Maybe the reason itself gives you some idea of how to handle this. But I think you know you can't say it died or escaped because you wouldn't want to have to hide it...and you know how that kind of stuff can backfire on you. You could always explain you've fallen in love with the tortoise and would like to buy it or flat out explain to her and her son that the tortoise is better off with you and they are of course invited to visit, but if they want the best for it, they should let you keep it....oh, or ....tell them you'll have to start charging a boarding fee then if it isn't paid you can keep it for the value owed. The only other course of action if they insist on taking it back would be to buy them a "new" book on how to care for it. Good luck.

 

[terracolson]

yeah I konw that is correct. I ended up fostering it because she is currently homeless. Dont go all sobby, she is the 58 yr old who quit her job, gave her money away to a man in HI, and came to live with us. Then her son came to visit, she bought him for her sons week visit. Then she left and left him here, to pick back up when she comes and gets all her stuff.
She lives in Southern Cailfornia, i live in Nor Cal.

I think I will just give him back and pray he doesnt die under the fridge.

 

[Maggie Cummings]

I think you should stand up for that little tortoise. Level with her, just tell the truth and ask her if you can keep the tortoise. The worst she can do is say no...I think you need to help that tortoise and save him from harm.

 

[terryo]

I agree with Maggie. Beg her to let you keep him...cry a little...do anything. Unfortunately, she will probably go get another one...some day when she has the money again.

 

[Weloveourtortoise]

I'm with Maggie & Terry-- Tell her you fell the the little guy and would think of it as a favour if you could keep him. Tears are always good if she starts to say no.

 

[sammi]

If she bought him for her son, and not for her..do you think she would really care if you wanted to keep him? Just a thought..Maybe if you can show her he'd have a better life with you..she wouldn't reject the idea?

 

[Crazy1]

I agree with everyone. Talk with her, cry, offer to buy him whatever it takes. Show her the care sheets and what you do for the little guy and let her know it would break your heart to give him up. Offer to talk with her son and reason with him. Also get your Hubby on your side. Talk with him now so he understands what you plan to do and is willing to support you and have him there when you talk to his mom. Moms have trouble saying No to their sons

 

[harris]

Veto! How can she take care of the tortoise when she can't take care of herself? Tell her the tortoise went under your fridge and got stuck up in it somehow. And when (if) she comes back to get him, just make sure you hide him somewhere.

 

[Yvonne G]

Manys the time I've advertised a "found" turtle or tortoise and when the correct owner showed up, realized this person hadn't a clue to proper care of this animal. I would LOVE to be able to say, "Sorry, you can't have the animal as it died yesterday." But I really appreciate the Golden Rule. Do unto others, etc. Instead of not giving the tortoise back, if she won't consider giving you the tortoise, then you have to print out a good care sheet and stress how important it is for the tortoise's life to be taken care of properly. That's all you can do. Educate her and hope it sticks.

Yvonne

 

[terracolson]

thx guys.... after some thought, i will let her take it, if she ask. Since she was supposed to come in Oct, but never showed now its november and shes still homeless, living with different people every day.

I am hoping she finds a place and comes here to get her furniture and forgets about him.

We will see, i will let you know.

 

[mctlong]

What if you bought the kid a puppy? He'd forget all about the tortoise.

 

[terracolson]

I wish a puppy would help. He has been through 4 of them so far. His mom keeps giving them away or they get run over or worse.

 

[jhaparth2006]

Gift her a new pet,like a puppy or something..a kitten..or something which can be more easily taken care of.

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well..its still october!

 

[Redfoot NERD]

I KNOW.. PICK ME.. I'VE GOT AN IDEA:

BE TOTALLY HONEST

Of course you take the chance of getting greif from some.. I tend to all of the time.. but the truth is what's best and you'll know you did what's right.

Terry K

 

[Jacqui]

Gift her a new pet,like a puppy or something..a kitten..or something which can be more easily taken care of.

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That would just be taking and putting another animal into a bad situation.

I would not lie to her, lies always come back to haunt you. Sounds like your right and she will forget all about the tortoise. Have you kept track of how much you have spent on her tortoise? Maybe along with being honest about your feelings (and hopefully your husband's), about the care it needs, and about how much she owes, she will just give him to you. Maybe even offer her a little money for the animal.

 

[terracolson]

Gift her a new pet,like a puppy or something..a kitten..or something which can be more easily taken care of.

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That would just be taking and putting another animal into a bad situation.

I would not lie to her, lies always come back to haunt you. Sounds like your right and she will forget all about the tortoise. Have you kept track of how much you have spent on her tortoise? Maybe along with being honest about your feelings (and hopefully your husband's), about the care it needs, and about how much she owes, she will just give him to you. Maybe even offer her a little money for the animal.

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Thats a idea, give her a invoice with the amount due on there for the months of care. I am so sure she will pay that..haha

But i can dream, about it.

 

[mctlong]

Thats an idea. If she sees how much you spend on the tort and how much good care costs, she may be willing to give him to you. If she's having financial issues, she might not want to take on the additional costs of the tort.

As she's already come by once and did not pick up the animal, I'm guessing she might abandon it on you anyways.

 

[Shelly]

She's 58, with an 11 year old kid??