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Might Be Leaving T.F.O.

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ascott

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Hello everyone. Hope you are all well.

Would like to inform you ladies and gentlemen that I might be leaving the forum soon and very soon. Although I did learn a lot, I am obliged to say that some members are very hurtful, heartless, and do not know how to help/give advise diplomatically.

Thanks to those who have been of real help.
Have you directly notified the offending party(s) that in your opinion they are hurtful, heartless and lack diplomacy in the area of communication? It sometimes does not come easy to do that, but perhaps the more diplomatic way than to tuck and run for good? Likely though, your words will do nothing in altering the way someone else behaves....right.
 

ascott

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Location (City and/or State)
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Have you directly notified the offending party(s) that in your opinion they are hurtful, heartless and lack diplomacy in the area of communication? It sometimes does not come easy to do that, but perhaps the more diplomatic way than to tuck and run for good? Likely though, your words will do nothing in altering the way someone else behaves....right.
Also, there is an "ignore" feature that you can attach to any member on this forum.....this way you have banned them from your life, period. ;):D
 

Gillian M

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Also, there is an "ignore" feature that you can attach to any member on this forum.....this way you have banned them from your life, period. ;):D
Thanks your advise. The "ignore" feature does not solve an issue, believe me.

Thank you once again for your help
 

Gillian M

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Whhhhhaaaatttt???!!!!!! Gillian, I've got to get going for work now, but let's talk about this later, ok? Take a deep breath, and think of all the friends you have on this forum, people who care and accept you just the way you are❤
Thanks so much your understanding Pearly, you are a true friend!

Will contact you when you have spare time for me: there is a lot I want to tell you.
 

Gillian M

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Have you directly notified the offending party(s) that in your opinion they are hurtful, heartless and lack diplomacy in the area of communication? It sometimes does not come easy to do that, but perhaps the more diplomatic way than to tuck and run for good? Likely though, your words will do nothing in altering the way someone else behaves....right.
No I have not. The reason is that I don't believe it'd give the heartless a heart. It wouldn't solve an issue.
 

leigti

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I hope you don't leave. Forums are not always the easiest way to communicate. They will never be able to replace face-to-face communication. But there is a lot of good information here.
Just take a break. A little time away is not a bad thing for anybody I think. Maybe just don't look at it for a while or just pick one or two threads you want to follow and ignore the rest. Use that ignore feature :) for anybody who you do not want to hear from. just read but don't respond. These are all ways to cut back a little bit but still stay in touch. I hope you choose to stay
 

Gillian M

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I hope you don't leave. Forums are not always the easiest way to communicate. They will never be able to replace face-to-face communication. But there is a lot of good information here.
Just take a break. A little time away is not a bad thing for anybody I think. Maybe just don't look at it for a while or just pick one or two threads you want to follow and ignore the rest. Use that ignore feature :) for anybody who you do not want to hear from. just read but don't respond. These are all ways to cut back a little bit but still stay in touch. I hope you choose to stay
Thank you so much your kind words and understanding. I realize that a message/letter isn't an easy way to "talk" to someone, due to the fact that neither can see the expressions of the other one's face. BUT this does not give any of them the right to be HARSH/RUDE....you name it. Does it?

As for using the "ignore" feature, well, I have used it but to be quite honest to you, it did not solve the issue. Moreover I do take breaks from the forum, believe me.
 

wellington

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Best thing to do is brush them off. Some people like to think they are "somebody" and must try to make others think so too. The bad thing about forums, you have no idea who these people are, if they are who they say they are and if they are going through hard times of any kind. Take what they say with a grain of salt and let it go. I've had my fair share of people with a problem. The difference between you and me, it's their problem not mine. They probably felt good telling you off, or what ever they did. Don't let them also feel great about it. Scaring you or anyone else away is a notch in their belt. Don't let them have that notch. If what they said was true, but just said in a very mean way, well, use them by learning from them, and go on with your chipper way and that will eat at them
 

Pearly

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Just like some members, and people in general are a little more sensative, there are also some that are abrupt and rude. Even if they don't mean to be. (But I don't doubt that some folks mean it) It's simply the way things are. This might be compounded by cultural and religious or even sexual dialogue that we are not accustomed to and suddenly, there could be a big issue.
People even in the same geographical area don't think that the same things are funny.
For example, I like you very much. You are interesting, honest and caring. But I know that if I shared with you some of my thoughts that I find amusing, you would not. In fact, maybe most would not. But I'm myself and I've gauged about how much of me I can share with members here.
There is at least one member that untill recently I thought was a world class jackass. Then something changed my outlook and I see that I was wrong because this persons serious passion comes out in stern answers that seem down right rude. But they are also extremely helpful and generally absolutely correct.
Even people that like to joke and poke fun at each other...and that happens here a LOT...get their feelings hurt here with just one wrong word.
About two months ago a member that I actually like asked a question and I answered, but it sounded heartless. I answered truthfully. But I'm pretty sure that that relationship has been damaged for good. I didn't know the person well enough to say something so critical of them.
Even if one or two members does actually dislike you, that would not be out of the realm of normal. Block them and move on. Or better yet. Don't block them and just move on.
This place can be fun and it's very helpful.
Your sensativity is not your friend. It's caused you a lot of distress. Distress that you can help get rid of yourself.
Maybe just take a break.
Freinds are here for you.
Many more freinds than actual enemies. That's for sure!
Couldn't have said that better myself!
 

leigti

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Thank you so much your kind words and understanding. I realize that a message/letter isn't an easy way to "talk" to someone, due to the fact that neither can see the expressions of the other one's face. BUT this does not give any of them the right to be HARSH/RUDE....you name it. Does it?

As for using the "ignore" feature, well, I have used it but to be quite honest to you, it did not solve the issue. Moreover I do take breaks from the forum, believe me.
There's only so much you can do. Just protect yourself The best you can. but that doesn't mean you have to leave. This forum is no different then anywhere else, some people are nice some people aren't some people you like some people you don't. But that's OK. Don't beat yourself up for being sensitive, we all have our sensitive spots. And some people just know how to push them whether they try to or not. Hang in there.
 

surfergirl

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Dec 20, 2015
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I hope you decide to stay. We will miss you and your riddles, which I am no good at solving. :) please keep giving me the answers after a few posts too, I will need them. lol
 

Kori5

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Oct 25, 2015
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Gillian your heart speaks only kindness. I don't know if I've seen an unpolite post from you. Some can offer experience and some may offer simpathy and comfort. Sometimes these two don't go along very well. You are here to balance those things :).
 

Pearly

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Gillian your heart speaks only kindness. I don't know if I've seen an unpolite post from you. Some can offer experience and some may offer simpathy and comfort. Sometimes these two don't go along very well. You are here to balance those things :).
Oh I love how you said it!!! And yes! We all have a purpose and a role in this wonderful community. Maybe yours, Gillian is indeed to "balance things out" as @Kori5 has beautifully put it
 

Turtlepete

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May 12, 2014
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South Florida
Hello everyone. Hope you are all well.

Would like to inform you ladies and gentlemen that I might be leaving the forum soon and very soon. Although I did learn a lot, I am obliged to say that some members are very hurtful, heartless, and do not know how to help/give advise diplomatically.

Thanks to those who have been of real help.
I'd rather ignore all the controversial garbage that goes on on this forum, but I wanted to make a comment here Gillian.

I will assume you enjoy this forum, judging by your active participation with other members. You have friends here. You probably spend a lot of time here and frankly quite enjoy the time you spend here.

Now you are ready to give all of that up because of one(?) individual hurt your feelings in some way.

If you keep making this kind of decision in your life, life is going to REALLY suck, I promise you.

Never give something up that you love because one individual puts you off, upsets you, offends you, whatever. Never give negative individuals any power what-so-never over your life or your decisions. If you want to leave the forum, leave the forum. Sometimes I think members leave for the same reason people leave Facebook: being around the overwhelming negativity can be very damaging to us psychologically. If this is your reason to go, then go ahead. But if you are leaving because of one offending individual, whoever that might be, you are making a serious mistake.
 
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