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Might Be Leaving T.F.O.

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chit Chat' started by Gillian M, Jun 12, 2016.

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  1. ascott

    ascott Well-Known Member 5 Year Member

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    Have you directly notified the offending party(s) that in your opinion they are hurtful, heartless and lack diplomacy in the area of communication? It sometimes does not come easy to do that, but perhaps the more diplomatic way than to tuck and run for good? Likely though, your words will do nothing in altering the way someone else behaves....right.
    Moozillion and bouaboua like this.
  2. ascott

    ascott Well-Known Member 5 Year Member

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    Also, there is an "ignore" feature that you can attach to any member on this forum.....this way you have banned them from your life, period. ;):D
  3. Gillian M

    Gillian M Well-Known Member 5 Year Member

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    Thanks your advise. The "ignore" feature does not solve an issue, believe me.

    Thank you once again for your help
  4. Pearly

    Pearly Well-Known Member

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    Whhhhhaaaatttt???!!!!!! Gillian, I've got to get going for work now, but let's talk about this later, ok? Take a deep breath, and think of all the friends you have on this forum, people who care and accept you just the way you are❤️
  5. Gillian M

    Gillian M Well-Known Member 5 Year Member

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    Thanks so much your understanding Pearly, you are a true friend!

    Will contact you when you have spare time for me: there is a lot I want to tell you.
    Pearly likes this.
  6. Gillian M

    Gillian M Well-Known Member 5 Year Member

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    No I have not. The reason is that I don't believe it'd give the heartless a heart. It wouldn't solve an issue.
  7. Markw84

    Markw84 Well-Known Member 5 Year Member Platinum Tortoise Club

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    Gillian

    I always try to remember there is a balance in the world and all things.

    For up there needs to be down or up would no longer mean anything.

    Right has to have left

    Hot has cold

    For insensitive - there has to be sensitive

    Do not put us out of balance!!!
  8. leigti

    leigti Well-Known Member 5 Year Member

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    I hope you don't leave. Forums are not always the easiest way to communicate. They will never be able to replace face-to-face communication. But there is a lot of good information here.
    Just take a break. A little time away is not a bad thing for anybody I think. Maybe just don't look at it for a while or just pick one or two threads you want to follow and ignore the rest. Use that ignore feature :) for anybody who you do not want to hear from. just read but don't respond. These are all ways to cut back a little bit but still stay in touch. I hope you choose to stay
    Moozillion, Pearly and Gillian M like this.
  9. Gillian M

    Gillian M Well-Known Member 5 Year Member

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    Thank you so much your kind words and understanding. I realize that a message/letter isn't an easy way to "talk" to someone, due to the fact that neither can see the expressions of the other one's face. BUT this does not give any of them the right to be HARSH/RUDE....you name it. Does it?

    As for using the "ignore" feature, well, I have used it but to be quite honest to you, it did not solve the issue. Moreover I do take breaks from the forum, believe me.
    bouaboua likes this.
  10. wellington

    wellington Well-Known Member Moderator 5 Year Member Tortoise Club

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    Best thing to do is brush them off. Some people like to think they are "somebody" and must try to make others think so too. The bad thing about forums, you have no idea who these people are, if they are who they say they are and if they are going through hard times of any kind. Take what they say with a grain of salt and let it go. I've had my fair share of people with a problem. The difference between you and me, it's their problem not mine. They probably felt good telling you off, or what ever they did. Don't let them also feel great about it. Scaring you or anyone else away is a notch in their belt. Don't let them have that notch. If what they said was true, but just said in a very mean way, well, use them by learning from them, and go on with your chipper way and that will eat at them
    Moozillion, bouaboua, Pearly and 2 others like this.
  11. christinaland128

    christinaland128 Well-Known Member 5 Year Member

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    Gillian please don't let people upset you! I'm from Detroit I'll give you some of my thick skinned toughness! Free shipping! ;)
    Pearly and Gillian M like this.
  12. Gillian M

    Gillian M Well-Known Member 5 Year Member

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    Hi! Thanks so much your sweet message. Appreciate it.:D

    OK, I agree to taking your "toughness" asap! :<3:
    christinaland128 and Pearly like this.
  13. wellington

    wellington Well-Known Member Moderator 5 Year Member Tortoise Club

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    Ha, Chicago here. Your not so tuff:eek::p:D
    Big city people can roll it right off, right:cool:
  14. Pearly

    Pearly Well-Known Member

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    Couldn't have said that better myself!
    Gillian M likes this.
  15. leigti

    leigti Well-Known Member 5 Year Member

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    There's only so much you can do. Just protect yourself The best you can. but that doesn't mean you have to leave. This forum is no different then anywhere else, some people are nice some people aren't some people you like some people you don't. But that's OK. Don't beat yourself up for being sensitive, we all have our sensitive spots. And some people just know how to push them whether they try to or not. Hang in there.
  16. christinaland128

    christinaland128 Well-Known Member 5 Year Member

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    Haha! Too funny! You know every time we visit Chicago my driving skills fit right in downtown, LOL! :D
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  17. surfergirl

    surfergirl Well-Known Member

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    I hope you decide to stay. We will miss you and your riddles, which I am no good at solving. :) please keep giving me the answers after a few posts too, I will need them. lol
    Gillian M and Pearly like this.
  18. Kori5

    Kori5 Well-Known Member

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    Gillian your heart speaks only kindness. I don't know if I've seen an unpolite post from you. Some can offer experience and some may offer simpathy and comfort. Sometimes these two don't go along very well. You are here to balance those things :).
    Gillian M and Pearly like this.
  19. Pearly

    Pearly Well-Known Member

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    Oh I love how you said it!!! And yes! We all have a purpose and a role in this wonderful community. Maybe yours, Gillian is indeed to "balance things out" as @Kori5 has beautifully put it
    Moozillion and Kori5 like this.
  20. Turtlepete

    Turtlepete Well-Known Member

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    I'd rather ignore all the controversial garbage that goes on on this forum, but I wanted to make a comment here Gillian.

    I will assume you enjoy this forum, judging by your active participation with other members. You have friends here. You probably spend a lot of time here and frankly quite enjoy the time you spend here.

    Now you are ready to give all of that up because of one(?) individual hurt your feelings in some way.

    If you keep making this kind of decision in your life, life is going to REALLY suck, I promise you.

    Never give something up that you love because one individual puts you off, upsets you, offends you, whatever. Never give negative individuals any power what-so-never over your life or your decisions. If you want to leave the forum, leave the forum. Sometimes I think members leave for the same reason people leave Facebook: being around the overwhelming negativity can be very damaging to us psychologically. If this is your reason to go, then go ahead. But if you are leaving because of one offending individual, whoever that might be, you are making a serious mistake.
    Fredkas, Moozillion, leigti and 3 others like this.
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